The Ridiculous WishesAltersversion

Once upon a time, long ago, there lived a poor woodcutter who found life very hard. He had to work from morning till night for very little money, and although he was young and happily married, there were moments when he wished he were dead and buried.

One day, while he was working in the forest, he started complaining again about his bad luck.

"Some people," he said, "only have to say what they want, and they get it right away. But for me, wishing does no good. The gods don't listen to poor folks like me."

Just as he said these words, there was a loud clap of thunder, and Jupiter appeared before him, holding his mighty thunderbolts. The poor man was terrified and threw himself on the ground.

"My lord," he cried, "forget what I said! Don't listen to my wishes, and stop your thunder!"

"Don't be afraid," answered Jupiter. "I heard you complaining, and I came to show you that you are wrong about me. Listen! I am the king of the world, and I promise to grant the first three wishes you make, whatever they are. Think carefully about what will make you happy. Don't be too hasty. Take your time."

Then Jupiter went back up to Olympus. The woodcutter happily tied up his bundle of wood, threw it over his shoulder, and headed home. He felt so lighthearted that the load seemed light, too, and he thought cheerful thoughts as he walked. Many wishes came to his mind, but he decided to ask his wife for advice. She was a young woman with good sense.

Soon he reached his cottage. He dropped the wood on the ground and said, "Look, Fanny! Build up the fire and set the table. We're rich, Fanny, rich forever! We only have to wish for whatever we want!"

Then he told her what had happened that day. Fanny was quick-witted and immediately thought of many ways to improve their fortune. But she agreed with her husband that they should be careful.

"It would be a shame," she said, "to spoil our chances by being impatient. Let's sleep on it and make no wishes until tomorrow."

"That's a good idea," answered Harry. "Meanwhile, bring a bottle of our best wine, and we'll drink to our good luck."

Fanny brought a bottle from the storeroom behind the wood, and the man leaned back in his chair, put his feet up to the fire, and took a drink.

"What a nice fire!" he said. "And what nice coals! I wish we had a black pudding to cook on it!"

The moment he said those words, his wife was astonished to see a long black pudding come wriggling out of a corner of the fireplace and slither toward her. She screamed in fright, then cried out in dismay when she realized that this strange thing had happened because of the wish her husband had so foolishly made. She turned on him in anger and disappointment, calling him every name she could think of.

"What!" she shouted. "You could wish for a kingdom, for gold, pearls, rubies, diamonds, for princely clothes and riches beyond measure, and you wish for a black pudding!"

"I'm sorry," the man said. "It was a careless remark and a bad mistake. But I'll be more careful now and do better next time."

"Who says you will?" his wife replied. "Once a fool, always a fool!" And she kept scolding him until his anger rose, and he nearly made a second wish to be a widower.

"Enough, woman!" he cried at last. "Hold your tongue! I've never heard such impertinence! A plague on this shrew and her pudding! I wish it were hanging from the end of her nose!"

No sooner had he said these words than the wish was granted, and the long black pudding appeared stuck to his wife's nose.

The man stopped when he saw what he had done. Fanny was a pretty young woman, and to tell the truth, this new decoration did not improve her beauty. But it did have one advantage: since it hung right in front of her mouth, it would certainly make her stop talking.

Now he had only one wish left. He almost decided to use it wisely and wish for a kingdom, but then he had a sudden thought.

"It's true," he said to himself, "that a king is the greatest thing there is. But what about the queen who has to share his throne? How would she look sitting beside me with a yard of black pudding for a nose?"

So he decided to ask Fanny what she wanted. He said, "Would you rather be a queen with this horrible pudding on your nose, or stay a woodcutter's wife but have your nice nose back?"

Fanny didn't hesitate. Although she had dreamed of a crown and scepter, a woman's first wish is always to be pretty. That mattered more than anything else. Fanny would rather be beautiful in a plain dress than be a queen with an ugly face.

So the woodcutter did not change his station, did not become a king, nor fill his purse with gold. He was thankful enough to use his last wish for a humbler purpose, and he immediately removed the pudding from his wife's nose.

Moral: Ah, so it is with miserable man: always fickle, blind, unwise, and rash. He often fails to make good use of the great gifts the gods give him.