Clever Hans

Hans's mother said, "Where are you going, Hans?"

"To Grethel," answered Hans.

"Behave yourself, Hans."

"Oh, I'll behave. Goodbye, mother."

"Goodbye, Hans."

Hans came to Grethel. "Hello, Grethel."

"Hello, Hans. What good thing do you bring?"

"I bring nothing. I want something given to me."

Grethel gave Hans a needle. "Goodbye, Grethel."

"Goodbye, Hans."

Hans took the needle, stuck it into a hay-cart, and followed the cart home.

"Good evening, mother."

"Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?"

"With Grethel."

"What did you take her?"

"I took nothing; she gave me something."

"What did Grethel give you?"

"She gave me a needle."

"Where is the needle, Hans?"

"I stuck it in the hay-cart."

"That was badly done, Hans. You should have stuck the needle in your sleeve."

"Never mind, I'll do better next time."

"Where are you going, Hans?"

"To Grethel, mother."

"Behave yourself, Hans."

"Oh, I'll behave. Goodbye, mother."

"Goodbye, Hans."

Hans came to Grethel. "Hello, Grethel."

"Hello, Hans. What good thing do you bring?"

"I bring nothing. I want something given to me."

Grethel gave Hans a knife. "Goodbye, Grethel."

"Goodbye, Hans."

Hans took the knife, stuck it in his sleeve, and went home.

"Good evening, mother."

"Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?"

"With Grethel."

"What did you take her?"

"I took her nothing; she gave me something."

"What did Grethel give you?"

"She gave me a knife."

"Where is the knife, Hans?"

"I stuck it in my sleeve."

"That was badly done, Hans. You should have put the knife in your pocket."

"Never mind, I'll do better next time."

"Where are you going, Hans?"

"To Grethel, mother."

"Behave yourself, Hans."

"Oh, I'll behave. Goodbye, mother."

"Goodbye, Hans."

Hans came to Grethel. "Hello, Grethel."

"Hello, Hans. What good thing do you bring?"

"I bring nothing. I want something given to me."

Grethel gave Hans a young goat. "Goodbye, Grethel."

"Goodbye, Hans."

Hans took the goat, tied its legs together, and put it in his pocket. When he got home, the goat was suffocated.

"Good evening, mother."

"Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?"

"With Grethel."

"What did you take her?"

"I took nothing; she gave me something."

"What did Grethel give you?"

"She gave me a goat."

"Where is the goat, Hans?"

"I put it in my pocket."

"That was badly done, Hans. You should have put a rope around the goat's neck."

"Never mind, I'll do better next time."

"Where are you going, Hans?"

"To Grethel, mother."

"Behave yourself, Hans."

"Oh, I'll behave. Goodbye, mother."

"Goodbye, Hans."

Hans came to Grethel. "Hello, Grethel."

"Hello, Hans. What good thing do you bring?"

"I bring nothing. I want something given to me."

Grethel gave Hans a piece of bacon. "Goodbye, Grethel."

"Goodbye, Hans."

Hans took the bacon, tied it to a rope, and dragged it behind him. Dogs came and ate the bacon. When he got home, he held the rope with nothing on it.

"Good evening, mother."

"Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?"

"With Grethel."

"What did you take her?"

"I took her nothing; she gave me something."

"What did Grethel give you?"

"She gave me a bit of bacon."

"Where is the bacon, Hans?"

"I tied it to a rope, brought it home, and dogs took it."

"That was badly done, Hans. You should have carried the bacon on your head."

"Never mind, I'll do better next time."

"Where are you going, Hans?"

"To Grethel, mother."

"Behave yourself, Hans."

"I'll behave. Goodbye, mother."

"Goodbye, Hans."

Hans came to Grethel. "Hello, Grethel."

"Hello, Hans. What good thing do you bring?"

"I bring nothing, but I want something given."

Grethel gave Hans a calf. "Goodbye, Grethel."

"Goodbye, Hans."

Hans took the calf, put it on his head, and the calf kicked his face.

"Good evening, mother."

"Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?"

"With Grethel."

"What did you take her?"

"I took nothing; she gave me something."

"What did Grethel give you?"

"A calf."

"Where is the calf, Hans?"

"I set it on my head and it kicked my face."

"That was badly done, Hans. You should have led the calf and put it in the stall."

"Never mind, I'll do better next time."

"Where are you going, Hans?"

"To Grethel, mother."

"Behave yourself, Hans."

"I'll behave. Goodbye, mother."

"Goodbye, Hans."

Hans came to Grethel. "Hello, Grethel."

"Hello, Hans. What good thing do you bring?"

"I bring nothing, but I want something given."

Grethel said to Hans, "I will go with you."

Hans took Grethel, tied her to a rope, led her to the rack, and tied her fast. Then Hans went to his mother.

"Good evening, mother."

"Good evening, Hans. Where have you been?"

"With Grethel."

"What did you take her?"

"I took her nothing."

"What did Grethel give you?"

"She gave me nothing; she came with me."

"Where have you left Grethel?"

"I led her by the rope, tied her to the rack, and scattered some grass for her."

"That was badly done, Hans. You should have cast friendly eyes on her."

"Never mind, I'll do better."

Hans went into the stable, cut out all the calves' and sheep's eyes, and threw them in Grethel's face. Then Grethel became angry, tore herself loose, and ran away, and she became the bride of Hans.