The Shifty Lad

Once upon a time in Ireland, there lived a widow with an only son. He was a clever boy, so she saved up money to send him to school and then to apprentice him to whatever trade he chose. But when the time came, he said he would not be bound to any trade—he wanted to be a thief.

His mother was very sad when she heard this, but she knew that if she tried to stop him, he would only become more determined. So she just said, "Thieves always end up hanged on Dublin Bridge," and left him alone, hoping he would grow wiser with age.

One day she was going to church to hear a famous preacher, and she begged the Shifty Lad—as the neighbors called him because of his tricks—to come with her. But he only laughed and said he didn't like sermons. "However," he added, "I promise you this: the first trade you hear named after you come out of church will be my trade for the rest of my life."

These words gave the poor woman a little comfort, and her heart felt lighter as she said goodbye.

When the Shifty Lad thought the sermon was nearly over, he hid in some bushes along the path that led straight to his mother's house. As she passed by, thinking of all the good things she had heard, a voice shouted close to her ear, "Robbery! Robbery!

Robbery!" The suddenness made her jump. The naughty boy had changed his voice so she didn't recognize it, and he was so well hidden that even though she peered all around, she saw no one.

As soon as she turned the corner, the Shifty Lad came out and ran fast through the woods, reaching home before his mother. She found him stretched out comfortably by the fire.

"Well, do you have any news?" he asked.

"No, nothing. I left church right away and didn't stop to talk to anyone."

"Oh, so no one mentioned a trade to you?" he said, sounding disappointed.

"Well—yes," she replied slowly. "As I walked down the path, a voice cried out, 'Robbery! Robbery! Robbery!' But that was all."

"And that's enough!" answered the boy. "What did I tell you? That's going to be my trade."

"Then you'll end up hanged on Dublin Bridge," she said. But she couldn't sleep that night, lying in the dark worrying about her son.

"If he must be a thief, he'd better be a good one," she thought. "And who can teach him?" Then an idea came to her. She got up early, before sunrise, and set off for the home of the Black Rogue, also called the Black Gallows Bird, who was such a wonderful thief that although everyone had been robbed by him, no one could catch him.

"Good morning," said the woman when she reached the place where the Black Gallows Bird lived when he wasn't out on business. "My son wants to learn your trade. Will you teach him?"

"If he's clever, I don't mind trying," answered the Black Gallows Bird. "Of course, if anyone can turn him into a first-rate thief, it's me. But if he's stupid, it's no use. I can't stand stupid people."

"No, he's not stupid," said the woman with a sigh. "Tonight, after dark, I'll send him to you."

The Shifty Lad jumped for joy when his mother told him where she had been. "I'll become the best thief in all Ireland!" he cried, ignoring his mother's shake of the head and murmur about Dublin Bridge.

Every evening after dark, the Shifty Lad went to the home of the Black Gallows Bird, and he learned many new tricks. Bit by bit, he was allowed to go out with the Bird and watch him at work. At last, there came a day when his master thought he was clever enough to help in a big robbery.

"There's a rich farmer up on the hill who just sold all his fat cattle for a lot of money and bought some lean ones that cost him little. He hasn't paid for the thin ones yet; they're in his cowshed. Tomorrow he'll go to market with the money in his hand. So tonight we must get to the chest. When everyone is quiet, we'll hide in the loft."

There was no moon, and it was Halloween night. Everyone was burning nuts and catching apples in a tub of water with their hands tied, playing all sorts of games. The Shifty Lad grew tired of waiting for them to go to bed.

The Black Gallows Bird, more used to the business, tucked himself up in the hay and went to sleep, telling the boy to wake him when the merrymakers had left. But the Shifty Lad couldn't stay still.

He crept down to the cowshed, loosened the ropes of the tied cattle, and they began to kick each other and bellow, making such a noise that everyone from the farmhouse ran out to tie them up again.

Then the Shifty Lad entered the room, grabbed a big handful of nuts, and returned to the loft, where the Black Rogue was still sleeping. At first, the Shifty Lad closed his eyes too, but soon he sat up, took a big needle and thread from his pocket, and sewed the hem of the Black Gallows Bird's coat to a heavy piece of bullock hide that was hanging behind him.

By then the cattle were all tied up again, but since the people couldn't find their nuts, they sat around the fire and began to tell stories.

"I'll crack a nut," said the Shifty Lad.

"No!" cried the Black Gallows Bird. "They'll hear you."

"I don't care," answered the Shifty Lad. "I never spend Halloween without cracking a nut." And he cracked one.

"Someone is cracking nuts up there!" said one of the merrymakers in the farmhouse. "Come quickly, let's see who it is."

He spoke loudly, and the Black Gallows Bird heard and ran out of the loft, dragging the big leather hide behind him, which the Shifty Lad had sewn to his coat.

"He's stealing my hide!" shouted the farmer, and they all chased after him. But the Black Gallows Bird was too fast for them. Finally, he tore the hide from his coat and ran like a hare to his old hiding place.

But all this took time, and meanwhile, the Shifty Lad got down from the loft, searched the house, and found the chest with the gold and silver hidden behind a load of straw and covered with loaves of bread and a big cheese.

The Shifty Lad slung the money bags over his shoulders, took the bread and cheese under his arm, and quietly set out for the Black Rogue's house.

"Here you are at last, you villain!" cried his master angrily. "But I'll get even with you!"

"It's all right," replied the Shifty Lad calmly. "I've brought what you wanted." And he laid everything on the ground.

"Ah, you're the better thief," said the Black Rogue's wife.

"Yes, you're the clever one," added the Black Rogue. So they divided the loot: the Black Gallows Bird got half and the Shifty Lad got the other half.

A few weeks later, the Black Gallows Bird heard about a wedding near the town. The bridegroom had many friends, and everyone sent a present. A rich farmer who lived near the moor thought that the most useful gift for a young couple just starting out was a fine fat sheep. So he told his shepherd to go to the mountain where the flock was grazing and bring back the best one. The shepherd chose the largest, fattest sheep with the whitest fleece. He tied its feet together, put it over his shoulder, and began the long walk back.

That day, the Shifty Lad was wandering over the moor when he saw the man with the sheep on his shoulder walking along the road past the Black Rogue's house. The sheep was heavy, so the man wasn't in a hurry. The boy knew he could easily get back to his master before the shepherd was even in sight.

"I'll bet," he cried as he pushed through the bushes hiding the cabin—"I'll bet I can steal that sheep from the man before he passes here."

"Will you, indeed?" said the Gallows Bird. "I'll bet you a hundred silver pieces that you can't."

"Well, I'll try anyway," replied the boy, and he disappeared into the bushes. He ran fast until he entered a wood through which the shepherd had to pass. Then he stopped, took off one of his shoes, smeared it with mud, and set it in the path. Then he slipped behind a rock and waited.

Soon the man came along, saw the shoe lying there, and stooped to look at it. "It's a good shoe," he said to himself, "but very dirty. Still, if I had the other one, I'd bother to clean it." He threw it down and went on.

The Shifty Lad smiled, picked up the shoe, crept around by a shortcut, and laid the other shoe on the path. A few minutes later, the shepherd arrived and saw the second shoe. "Why, that's the mate of the dirty shoe!" he exclaimed. "I'll go back and get the other one, and then I'll have a pair of good shoes." He put the sheep on the grass and returned to fetch the first shoe. Then the Shifty Lad put on his shoes, picked up the sheep, and carried it home. The Black Rogue paid him the hundred marks of the wager.

When the shepherd reached the farmhouse that night, he told his master the story. The master scolded him for being stupid and careless, and told him to go to the mountain the next day and fetch a kid to send as a wedding gift instead. But the Shifty Lad was watching. He hid in the wood, and as soon as the man came near with the kid on his shoulders, he began to bleat like a sheep. No one, not even the sheep's own mother, could have told the difference.

"Why, it must have gotten loose and strayed after all," thought the man. He put the kid on the grass and hurried off toward the bleating. Then the boy ran back, picked up the kid, and took it to the Black Gallows Bird.

The shepherd could hardly believe his eyes when he returned from searching for the sheep and found the kid gone. He was afraid to go home and tell the same story again, so he searched the wood until nightfall. Then he knew he had no choice but to go home and confess.

The farmer was very angry at this second loss, but this time he told the shepherd to drive one of the big bulls from the mountain and warned him that if he lost that, he would lose his job too. The Shifty Lad, who was watching, saw the man pass by and, when he saw him returning with the big bull, cried to the Black Rogue: "Quick, come into the wood, and we'll get the bull too!"

"But how can we do that?" asked the Black Rogue.

"Oh, easily! You hide over there and baa like a sheep, and I'll go the other way and bleat like a kid. It'll be fine."

The shepherd was walking slowly, driving the bull before him, when he suddenly heard a loud baa from the bushes far away on one side and a feeble bleat answering from the other. "Why, it must be the sheep and the kid I lost!" he said. "Yes, surely it must!".

He tied the bull hastily to a tree and went off after the sheep and kid, searching until he was tired. Of course, by the time he came back, the two thieves had driven the bull home and killed it for meat.

So the man had to go to his master and confess that he had been tricked again.

After this, the Black Rogue and the Shifty Lad grew bolder and bolder. They stole great numbers of cattle, sold them, and became quite rich. One day they were returning from the market with a large sum of money when they passed a gallows on top of a hill.

"Let's stop and look at that gallows," said the Shifty Lad. "I've never seen one so close. Some say it's the end of all thieves."

No one was in sight, so they carefully examined every part of it.

"I wonder how it feels to be hanged," said the Shifty Lad. "I'd like to know, in case they ever catch me. I'll try first, and then you can."

He fastened the loose cord around his neck, and when it was secure, he told the Black Rogue to take the other end of the rope and pull him off the ground. "When I'm tired, I'll shake my legs, and then you must let me down."

The Black Rogue pulled up the rope, but in half a minute the Shifty Lad's legs began to shake. He quickly let him down. "You can't imagine what a funny feeling hanging gives you," murmured the Shifty Lad, looking rather purple-faced and speaking oddly. "I don't think you've ever tried it, or you wouldn't have let me go first. It's the pleasantest thing I've ever done. I was shaking my legs from sheer delight. If you had been there, you'd have shaken yours too."

"Well, let me try if it's so nice," answered the Black Rogue. "But be sure to tie the knot securely. I don't want to fall and break my neck."

"Oh, I'll see to that!" replied the Shifty Lad. "When you're tired, just whistle, and I'll let you down."

So the Black Rogue was pulled up. As soon as he was as high as the rope allowed, the Shifty Lad called: "Don't forget to whistle when you want to come down! But if you're enjoying yourself like I did, shake your legs!"

Immediately the Black Rogue's legs began to shake and kick, and the Shifty Lad stood below watching and laughing heartily. "Oh, how funny you look! If you could only see yourself! Oh, you ARE funny! But when you've had enough, whistle and I'll let you down." He rocked with laughter.

But no whistle came. Soon the legs stopped shaking and kicking, for the Black Gallows Bird was dead, just as the Shifty Lad had planned.

Then the Shifty Lad went home to the Black Rogue's wife and told her her husband was dead, and he was ready to marry her if she liked. But the woman had been fond of the Black Rogue, thief though he was. She shrank from the Shifty Lad in horror and set the people after him. He had to flee to another part of the country where no one knew about his deeds.

Perhaps if the Shifty Lad's mother knew of this, she might have thought her son would now be tired of stealing and ready to try an honest trade. But in truth, he loved the tricks and danger. Life would have seemed very dull without them. So he went on as before, making friends and teaching them to be as wicked as himself, until they began robbing the king's storehouses. By the advice of the Wise Man, the king sent soldiers to catch the band of thieves.

For a long time, they tried in vain to catch them. The Shifty Lad was too clever. If they set traps, he set better ones. Finally, one night, he crept up on some sleeping soldiers in a barn and killed them. Then he convinced the villagers that if they didn't kill the other soldiers before morning, they would be killed themselves. So when the sun rose, not a single soldier was alive in the village.

This news soon reached the king, who was very angry. He summoned the Wise Man for advice. The Wise Man said: "Invite all the people in the countryside to a ball. The bold thief will surely come and will ask your daughter to dance with him."

"Your advice is good," said the king. He prepared a feast and a ball. All the people of the countryside came, and the Shifty Lad came with them.

After everyone had eaten and drunk as much as they wanted, they went into the ballroom. There was a great crowd. While they were pressing through the doorway, the Wise Man, who had a bottle of black ointment hidden in his robes, placed a tiny dot on the Shifty Lad's cheek near his ear.

The Shifty Lad felt nothing, but as he approached the princess to ask her to dance, he caught sight of the black dot in a silver mirror. He instantly guessed who had put it there and why, but said nothing. He danced so well that the princess was delighted.

At the end of the dance, he bowed low and left to mingle with the crowd. As he passed the Wise Man, he not only stole the bottle but also placed two black dots on his face and one on the faces of twenty other men.

Then he slipped the bottle back into the Wise Man's robe.

By and by, he went up to the princess again and asked for another dance. She agreed, and while he was stooping to tie his shoe ribbon, she took out another bottle the Wizard had given her and put a black dot on his cheek. But she was not as skillful as the Wise Man, and the Shifty Lad felt her fingers. So when the dance ended, he placed a second black dot on the faces of the twenty men and two more on the Wizard, then slipped the bottle into her pocket.

At last, the ball ended. The king ordered all doors shut and a search made for a man with two black dots on his cheek. The chamberlain went among the guests and soon found such a man. But just as he was about to arrest him, he saw another with the same mark, and another, and another, until he had counted twenty men—plus the Wise Man—with spots on their faces.

Not knowing what to do, the chamberlain hurried back to the king, who sent for the Wise Man and then for his daughter. "The thief must have stolen your bottle," said the king to the Wizard. "No, my lord, it's here," answered the Wise Man, holding it out. "Then he must have gotten yours!" cried the king to his daughter. "Indeed, father, it's safe in my pocket," she replied, taking it out. They all looked at each other in silence.

"Well," said the king at last, "the man who did this is cleverer than most. If he makes himself known to me, he shall marry my daughter and govern half my kingdom while I live, and all of it when I die. Go and announce this in the ballroom," he added to an attendant, "and bring the fellow here."

So the attendant went into the ballroom and did as the king said. To his surprise, not one but twenty men stepped forward, all with black dots on their faces. "I am the one you want," they all exclaimed at once. The attendant, as bewildered as the chamberlain had been, told them to follow him to the king.

But the king couldn't decide. He called together his council. They talked for hours but reached no conclusion. Finally, they hit upon a plan. A child was brought to the palace. The princess gave the child an apple. Then the child was led into a room where the twenty men with dots sat in a circle. To whoever the child gave the apple, that man would marry the princess.

"Of course," said the king, "it may not be the right man. But then again, it might. Anyhow, it's the best we can do."

The princess herself led the child into the room where the twenty men were seated. The child stood in the center for a moment, looking at each man, then held out the apple to the Shifty Lad, who was twisting a wood shaving around his finger and had the mouthpiece of a bagpipe hanging from his neck.

"You shouldn't have anything the others don't have," said the chamberlain. He told the child to step outside for a minute, took away the shaving and mouthpiece, and made the Shifty Lad change seats. Then he called the child back. But the little girl knew him again and went straight up to him with the apple.

"This is the man the child has chosen twice," said the chamberlain, signaling the Shifty Lad to kneel before the king. "It was all fair. We tried it twice." And so the Shifty Lad won the princess. They were married the next day.

A few days later, the bride and groom were taking a walk. The path led down to a river, and over the river was a bridge.

"What bridge is this?" asked the Shifty Lad. The princess told him it was Dublin Bridge.

"Indeed?" cried he. "Well, many times my mother said, when I played a trick on her, that I would end up hanged on Dublin Bridge."

"Oh, if you want to fulfill her prophecy," laughed the princess, "you only have to let me tie my handkerchief around your ankle, and I'll hold you as you hang over the wall of the bridge."

"That would be fun," said he, "but you're not strong enough to hold me up."

"Oh yes, I am," said the princess. "Just try." So at last, he let her bind the handkerchief around his ankle and hang him over the wall. They both laughed and joked about the princess's strength.

"Now pull me up," he called. But as he spoke, a great cry arose that the palace was burning. The princess turned around in shock and let go of the handkerchief. The Shifty Lad fell, struck his head on a stone, and died instantly.

So his mother's prophecy had come true after all.