KATHARINE

# book_id: global-gutenberg-story-6a530a35d0d24637b446f2dc4e282af3
# book_title: KATHARINE
# chapter_id: 1-katharine
# chapter_title: KATHARINE
# book_page: 1 / 11
# chapter_page: 1
# language: en
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Katharine Festival lay in bed, dreamily contemplating the ceiling.

'I often wonder,' she mused aloud, 'what on earth possessed me to marry you.'

'My beautiful soul, of course,' replied her husband, Giles, with a pleasant smile. 'You were utterly dazzled by it.'

'I think it was out of pity, actually,' Katharine continued, as if he hadn't spoken. 'You know how it is when you see people laughing at someone, and that someone laughs along, never realizing they're the joke—you can't help but feel sorry for them.'

Captain Giles Festival swallowed hard before answering. 'Ah yes, like when we were dining with the Mascots, and you kept going on about soap.'

Katharine blushed. That wasn't a memory she cherished. Lady Mascot's father had made a fortune in the soap trade, and the connection had been the source of many a joke at the time.

After a moment, she said, 'I might have known you'd never appreciate my kindness. Gratitude isn't one of your virtues.'

'If by "gratitude" you mean falling at your feet in worship for taking my name in vain, then you're right,' Giles retorted. 'I gave you a perfectly good chance to marry someone else, and you took it.'

Katharine drew a sharp breath. 'Do you honestly believe that was my only opportunity?'

'If I imagined such a thing,' he replied, 'I'd suppose you considered me the best of the bunch. After all, if one is offered only one strawberry, one doesn't deliberately pick a sour one—unless out of pity.'

'No,' Katharine said sweetly. 'Only by mistake.'

A profound silence filled the room. Then Giles murmured, 'Sold—a straight pup, out of Mistake and Pity. No flowers, by request.'

Katharine's voice turned cold. 'Let me say at once that I didn't choose you for your exquisite taste.'

'Choose!' he cried, laughing wildly. 'Choose! Oh, give me strength.' He covered his eyes in mock despair.

'I suppose you think you chose me,' she said.

'I did. In a weak moment—'

'Are you going to say you were blind?' Katharine asked, her voice shaking.

'I most certainly am not,' Giles declared. 'I was not blind. I was merely... well, slightly tipsy at the time.'

'Well, I was blind!' she retorted hotly. 'I thought I was accepting a gentleman. Instead, I got a—'

# book_id: global-gutenberg-story-6a530a35d0d24637b446f2dc4e282af3
# book_title: KATHARINE
# chapter_id: 1-katharine
# chapter_title: KATHARINE
# book_page: 2 / 11
# chapter_page: 2
# language: en
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'I know, I know,' Giles interrupted mercilessly. 'A foul and loathsome worm, teacher.'

'No,' she said with calm disdain. 'Just an ordinary cad.'

Giles rubbed his nose thoughtfully, then stretched his arms and yawned before clasping his hands behind his head. 'My dear, be reasonable. All this fuss because I suggested that Beatrice might look after my linen if she had a spare moment.'

'Have you ever heard of meiosis?' Katharine asked, her tone icy. 'It's the opposite of exaggeration.'

'I repeat, that was my humble suggestion, which you took great offense at. I might not have phrased it so, but—'

'You did put it much more vividly,' she cut in. 'You said that the state of your wardrobe was enough to make a beachcomber weep, and that if I didn't have the moral courage to order that lazy lady's maid to pull her socks up, I could jolly well finance her myself. You added that you had given up your valet so I could blow more money on my back, and that my interpretation of marriage vows was amusing without being vulgar.'

Giles swallowed again. 'I was referring,' he said stubbornly, 'to your promise to cherish me.'

'And you made that same promise.'

'Yes, and I keep mine, Kate. I do cherish you. Only yesterday, I spent seventeen pounds on a hat that's worth not a shilling more than eighteen pence—without a complaint.'

Katharine audibly raised her eyes to heaven. 'Whenever you start listing your virtues, I feel like breaking something. Have you never realized that it's my job to praise you?'

'Frequently,' Giles said. 'But you never do.'

'You never give me the chance.'

With a supreme effort, Giles controlled his voice. 'Look here,' he said fiercely. 'Do you think it was decent of me to give you that hat, or not?'

'Oh, you can have the beastly hat back,' Katharine said.

'It wouldn't suit me,' Giles replied mournfully. 'Do you think we could return it? They might refund us eighteen pence.'

'What I want to know,' Katharine declared, 'is why I should be overcome with gratitude just because you—'

# book_id: global-gutenberg-story-6a530a35d0d24637b446f2dc4e282af3
# book_title: KATHARINE
# chapter_id: 1-katharine
# chapter_title: KATHARINE
# book_page: 3 / 11
# chapter_page: 3
# language: en
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'The golden rule of argument,' Captain Festival interrupted, 'is to stick to the point. Let's try, shall we? ... No answer? I only mentioned my generosity to refute your claim that I'm not cherishing you. You twist my words into an attempt to aggrandize myself. How absurd.'

'Oh, that's simple,' Katharine said. 'You could arise half an hour earlier and straighten your own wretched clothes.'

'On the principle of "If you want a job done properly, do it yourself"? And if I don't know how to sew, whose fault is that? It should be your duty, anyway. Furthermore, if our home were less like an employment agency and more like a haven, these quarrels would never happen. And lastly, I'm fed up.'

'How amusing,' Katharine replied silkily. 'So am I. Yet you slept like a log last night. I heard you.'

In majestic silence, her husband rose from bed and slipped into an orange dressing gown. 'Have my bed moved to the next room, would you?' he said coldly. 'If it's too much trouble for the servants, tell me and I'll find a commissionaire from the club.'

At that moment, he trod on a collar stud. He yelped, swore, limped to the window, and flung the offending object out into Berkeley Square.

'That'll teach it,' Katharine observed.

Giles glared at her with speechless indignation, then stormed into the bathroom.

After about five minutes, he reappeared, looking calmer. 'I say,' he said quietly. 'It's not much use going on like this, is it?'

Katharine shrugged her white shoulders.

He repeated, 'Is it?'

Katharine looked away. 'The answer is no.'

Giles set his jaw. 'Fine. Let's separate. I suppose we've both tried. It's clear we should never have married.'

'As you wish,' Katharine said slowly.

'We'd better see Forsyth—today, if possible,' he said, hesitating, then adding, 'There's no reason for any unpleasantness.'

'None whatsoever.'

'But whatever we do, let's not be talked out of it. We've come to this brink half a dozen times, and sentiment has always pulled us back. That's foolish. We don't need to quarrel, but this time we must not waver. Let's go through with it and see what happens.'

'Right,' Katharine said brightly.

# book_id: global-gutenberg-story-6a530a35d0d24637b446f2dc4e282af3
# book_title: KATHARINE
# chapter_id: 1-katharine
# chapter_title: KATHARINE
# book_page: 4 / 11
# chapter_page: 4
# language: en
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Giles turned and went to the door. He paused, then spoke with his eyes downcast. 'You—do you understand what I mean? I want us to—to part friends.'

She nodded. When he had gone, she buried her face in her pillow and lay still as death.

---

If Mayfair were polled to choose the most beloved married couple in Society, there is little doubt that Captain and Mrs. Giles Festival would have topped the list.

Katharine was twenty-five and possessed great beauty. She was very fair, and her blue eyes held a light that was a lovely thing to behold. Her face could have been her fortune—so could her figure, which dressmakers adored. If she loved fine attire, she knew how to wear it. Whether dancing, bathing, or riding, she always caught the eye. But if she was beautiful to look at, her company lifted hearts. She graced any gathering. Someone once dubbed her 'Champagne': she did indeed go to one's head. That she had so few enemies was testament to her charm; women liked her, often against their will.

Giles, thirty, looked like a youthful twenty-six. Tall, fair, handsome, with languid eyes, he excelled at everything. His wartime bravery had earned him the Victoria Cross, and his romantic skills had won him Katharine. Universally liked at his club and adored in cabmen's shelters, he had the secret of adaptability. His laugh was infectious, his appearance impeccable, his manners perfect.

Both had sharp wit, and neither was dull.

They were the life of every party, deeply devoted to each other, though they never flaunted it. For two consecutive seasons, they had been the favored couple of the social set.

But now a cold wind had blown in from clear skies. For over three months, they had been at odds, finding fault where they once found charm. Their home had become a battleground.

---

An hour later, at breakfast, Giles looked up from his eggs. 'Forsyth will see us at noon. Meanwhile,' he said, tapping the law book beside him, 'this little reference book says we ought to have trustees.'

'Whatever for?' Katharine asked.

# book_id: global-gutenberg-story-6a530a35d0d24637b446f2dc4e282af3
# book_title: KATHARINE
# chapter_id: 1-katharine
# chapter_title: KATHARINE
# book_page: 5 / 11
# chapter_page: 5
# language: en
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'Heaven knows. As far as I can gather, they'd act as some sort of buffer—if you wanted to scratch my eyes out, you'd have to go through the trustee first. And if I found you running up debts on my credit—'

'But I will,' Katharine said. 'Why shouldn't I? I'm your wife.'

'Only for necessities, my darling. No more eighteen-pound hats.'

'Is that the law?' she asked blankly.

'Roughly. But don't worry; you'll have enough to buy them. I'm not going to give you all my assets, but you shall have a fair two-thirds.'

'Half,' Katharine insisted, moving to the sideboard. 'Fair share is the only way. And you must take half of mine.'

Giles frowned. 'My dear, don't be silly. I buy one dress suit a year and don't even pay for that. If I did, it would be a small fortune.' He paused meaningfully. 'If an eighteen-penny hat costs the same as a man's suit, how many evening gowns would a season require?'

Katharine, distracted, helped herself to the kedgeree. Then she spoke slowly: 'I don't care; I won't take more than my due. What will we do about the house?'

'If you agree, you'd better stay here,' Giles said. 'It saves a lot of fuss. If you didn't, I couldn't live here myself, and the house would remain unused—we'd have to rent it out, which would drive us both crazy. It would need redecorating, we'd be swindled by agents, and the thought of some stranger soaking in our tub makes my blood boil.'

Katharine shuddered. 'But what about you, Gill? I'd pay rent, of course. The house and its contents are yours, and—'

'I'll move to the club. As for rent—considering you'd be better than any caretaker, I'd actually be making a profit.'

Katharine pondered. 'I could only agree if you promise to let me know if you ever change your mind. And of course, you'll keep a key and come and go as you like.'

'My darling,' Giles said, rising from the table, 'I look forward to dining here at least once a week. Of course, I shan't come uninvited—that would constitute harassment. But if I'm on my best behavior... Perhaps some afternoon, when you're out, you might arrange for me to take a bath here. On my birthday, maybe. That would make me happy.'

# book_id: global-gutenberg-story-6a530a35d0d24637b446f2dc4e282af3
# book_title: KATHARINE
# chapter_id: 1-katharine
# chapter_title: KATHARINE
# book_page: 6 / 11
# chapter_page: 6
# language: en
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Katharine cast him a bewitching smile. 'If you promise not to tell anyone, you may use my sponge.'

'Kate,' her husband said, 'I believe we're on the right track. This separation scheme might be the making of us.'

He was quite right.

---

Galbraith Forsyth was an honest and shrewd solicitor. He had a firm sense of right and wrong, and he was kind yet stern. He gave his all to those he trusted, and his clients valued his judgment. He was particularly fond of the Festivals.

They arrived at his office, and he warmly entreated them to sit, showing Katharine a vase of daffodils. 'Posies are unusual in Lincoln's Inn Fields, but I knew you were coming and wanted the place to feel cheerful.'

'Now, isn't that charming?' Giles remarked. 'If I had such a way with words, we wouldn't be here today.'

Forsyth gave him a sharp look.

'You see, Mr. Forsyth,' Katharine began, 'we've made a terrible mistake. We thought happiness lay in marriage, but we've failed. We can't make it work. We've tried our best, but it's futile. In fact, the only thing we've agreed on for three months is that parting is best for both of us.'

'Are you serious?' Forsyth asked, scrutinizing them. 'Or are you joking?'

'We're quite serious,' Giles affirmed. 'It sounds like a farce, but it's the truth. Katharine irritates me, and I antagonize her, for no apparent reason. If we started discussing those daffodils, we'd soon be hurling books. She's witty, and I'm a wag; we've always joked around, but now the jokes have lost their humor, and the points are no longer blunted.'

'He's right,' Katharine added. 'We lead a cat-and-dog existence, and we're both done with it. Please don't advise counseling or a holiday; we've tried that. When he returned from his week away, I threw a glass at him.'

'An empty one,' Giles noted. 'It missed me by yards, but it's the principle.'

'Exactly. And it was a good glass—now it's cracked.'

# book_id: global-gutenberg-story-6a530a35d0d24637b446f2dc4e282af3
# book_title: KATHARINE
# chapter_id: 1-katharine
# chapter_title: KATHARINE
# book_page: 7 / 11
# chapter_page: 7
# language: en
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Forsyth sensed the pain hidden beneath their banter and was concerned. 'It seems such a pity,' he said gently. 'You must not be rash. I am your legal adviser, but I'm also a man with eyes. I think you're playing with fire. If you separate and something happens, you'll regret it for the rest of your lives. Remorse is a harsh companion.'

A long silence followed. Then Giles spoke quietly: 'Thank you. We'll never regret coming to see you today. But we prefer to prevent three more months from becoming six.'

Forsyth nodded. 'Very well. Shall I draw up a deed of separation?'

'Please.'

'What about trustees?'

'Is that necessary? We trust you completely, but we don't care for involving others in our private affairs.'

'It would be worse,' Katharine agreed. 'If I think you're a brute, I can call you and say so. I couldn't do that to a stranger. It would feel too formal, like wearing a corset.'

'And you couldn't use that analogy, for instance,' Giles added with a grin. 'She means a strange garment that squeezes the life out of you.'

Forsyth bit back a smile. 'I assure you, trusteeship generally doesn't require such attire. But I see your point. I'll make you a counteroffer: if you're amenable, I'll be your trustee myself.'

The couple exchanged ecstatic glances.

'A little more,' Katharine said, 'and you'll be welcome to use our bathroom.'

'That's akin to receiving a knighthood,' Giles explained.

Forsyth picked up a pen. 'Now, what sort of arrangement do you have in mind?'

'We'll split our incomes equally,' Giles began.

'I'll send her half of my dividends and rents each month.'

'He takes the Rolls, and I'll have the smaller car,' Katharine interjected.

Giles hesitated. 'I had actually thought—'

'Don't be silly,' she cut him off. 'You adore that car. You said it yourself after I drove it.'

'Not before the lawyer, please,' Giles said, flushing. 'I withdraw. Anyway, I wasn't serious.'

'Is that all?' Forsyth said, trying to get things in order.

'Well, as for the house, she'll stay there and keep the servants, and I'll pay half the expenses,' Giles said.

'That's fair,' Katharine said.

# book_id: global-gutenberg-story-6a530a35d0d24637b446f2dc4e282af3
# book_title: KATHARINE
# chapter_id: 1-katharine
# chapter_title: KATHARINE
# book_page: 8 / 11
# chapter_page: 8
# language: en
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'And I'll take my sponge,' Giles added, grinning. 'Katharine has kindly offered to let me use hers, if—' He caught the lawyer's eye.

'Enough said,' Forsyth interposed. 'I'll insert standard clauses about not interfering with each other, not incurring debts on the other's behalf, and so on, and I will act as trustee. You'll want this as soon as possible, I suppose?'

'Yes, please,' Giles said. 'If we could have it tonight, we could sign it, and I'll leave tomorrow morning.'

'Then I'll get to work. Goodbye for now.' He escorted them to the door. 'I'm sorry you've come to this, but I'm glad you're doing it amicably. Remember, I'm here for you both.'

They shook hands, and in mutual relief, they went to Bond Street and purchased a sleek gold cigarette-case, engraved with the initials "G.G.K.F.F."—a small token of their shared spirit.

---

News of the separation was slow to spread, as many assumed it was another of their jokes. At the club, Giles was lectured about "cruelty;" Katharine received mocking phone calls asking for the spelling of "alimony" and advice on which horse to bet on in the race to divorce. It was infuriating.

After three days, Katharine left town without a word. The following day, Giles escaped to Evian, leaving a note for her.

On the fifth day, they met on the shore of Lake Geneva.

'Hullo, Gill,' Katharine said cheerfully. 'Fancy meeting you here!'

Gilbert looked startled. 'Go—go away. This is clearly against the terms of our agreement.'

'I suppose so,' she conceded, 'but if you have a cigarette to spare, I'll let it slide. And do take this—it'll save me posting it.' She handed him a letter.

It felt absurd not to dine together, so they did. By the eighth day, the newspapers announced their arrival at the resort, though Giles had already departed for Scotland.

For a while, gossip remained dormant, but by the end of May, the truth had spread. Society was stunned. Friends stared at the once-close couple as if they were seeing ghosts. It was as if an archbishop had announced his divorce.

# book_id: global-gutenberg-story-6a530a35d0d24637b446f2dc4e282af3
# book_title: KATHARINE
# chapter_id: 1-katharine
# chapter_title: KATHARINE
# book_page: 9 / 11
# chapter_page: 9
# language: en
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Yet the expected scandal fizzled out. Giles and Katharine remained cordial, attending functions separately or together. They were more popular than ever. Mrs. Soulsden Clutch, a self-righteous widow, decried them publicly, and Mrs. Busby Shawl cut them dead, but no one followed suit, and both women were soon ostracized for their unkindness.

The Festivals began receiving joint invitations, which they sometimes accepted separately, sometimes together. They were the talk of the season. When Katharine gave a dance, Giles hosted a dinner beforehand, arriving with his guests. He led her out twice, sipped champagne he'd chosen, and lounged in his own library as if it were his right.

They lunched together at a gathering, sat together at balls, and spent a weekend at the Pleydells' estate, side by side.

One memorable night at the Daneboroughs' ball, Kathleen forgot her latchkey and couldn't wake her staff. She called Giles at his club, and he gallantly arrived at the door in pajamas and slippers, banging until the butler let him in—an act that endeared him further to her. The next day, Katharine installed a large gong near the butler's bed so he wouldn't miss such calls again.

They reserved one evening a week to dine together at their home, followed by quiet hours in the library. They would say goodnight platonically, and he would kiss her fingers before leaving.

One Thursday evening, over coffee, Giles thanked her for a delicious meal. Katharine parried, quoting scripture about herbs and love, but he retorted that the tournedos were excellent. They talked about their strange situation, each claiming contentment.

Katharine mused, 'I suppose I married out of curiosity, like trying a new perfume. I've always liked the classic scent, but occasionally I'm tempted by something else.'

Giles looked taken aback. 'And if you heard another sheep bleating?'

She replied, 'I shall fight it, naturally.'

They promised to tell each other if anything beckoned, just as she had when he'd asked about holding his room.

---

# book_id: global-gutenberg-story-6a530a35d0d24637b446f2dc4e282af3
# book_title: KATHARINE
# chapter_id: 1-katharine
# chapter_title: KATHARINE
# book_page: 10 / 11
# chapter_page: 10
# language: en
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The summer months flew by. Race days came and went. And at some point, they started seeing less of each other. Each declined invitations, worried the other was enjoying their freedom a little too much.

Giles was haunted by seeing Katharine with Pat Lafone, a handsome and vivacious young man, riding together in the park. Jealousy gnawed at him. He told himself not to be foolish, but when he saw them again, he promptly called up Madrigal, a beautiful widow, and took her out to lunch and to a polo match.

Days later, all four met in Bond Street, exchanging forced pleasantries.

Then, one Thursday morning, each received a note from the other, canceling their weekly dinner. Katharine's note said she was tired, Giles's mentioned a prior engagement.

They were both devastated, imagining the worst.

Kate, weeping, thought he was with Madrigal and that she was driving him into that woman's arms. Giles felt a 'painful fool' for giving up the wife he loved; he had written the note in a fit of despair.

Two hours later, Giles paced in Lincoln's Inn Fields, then entered Forsyth's office.

Forsyth was surprised to see him and listened carefully. Meanwhile, downstairs, Katharine was explaining a separate panic: she had confessed to Giles that she no longer cared, hoping to induce him to woo her again, but his letter made her fear she'd pushed him away.

Forsyth, aware that they were both in his office, sequentially, came up with a plan.

To Giles, he suggested: 'Would you like to call your wife?'

Giles doubted she'd be there.

But Forsyth insisted, saying, 'A phone call isn't molestation, and it keeps you connected.'

After some hesitation, Giles agreed.

Forsyth set up a line between the rooms and listened in.

Their conversation was a masterclass of awkwardness. They had not spoken since the letters, and neither knew what to say.

After a painful pause, Giles blurted, 'I got your letter.'

'So did I,' Katharine replied.

'Yes?' Giles prompted.

'What?' she replied.

'I only said "yes" to encourage you to go on,' she said.

# book_id: global-gutenberg-story-6a530a35d0d24637b446f2dc4e282af3
# book_title: KATHARINE
# chapter_id: 1-katharine
# chapter_title: KATHARINE
# book_page: 11 / 11
# chapter_page: 11
# language: en
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They fumbled, each trying to ask about the other's intentions. Finally, Giles confessed, 'Listen, Katharine. I don't think you're going to leave me for Pat. And I'm definitely not rushing into anything with Madrigal. Everything is fine between us.'

Katharine shrieked with relief. 'I never intended to leave you for anyone! And I'm overjoyed you feel the same.'

Suddenly, the awkwardness vanished.

He cried, 'I love you, Kate!' She sobbed, 'I love you too, Gill!'

Giles laughed, and then there was silence. Forsyth, listening from his office, collapsed in a chair, wiping laughter from his eyes.

It all ended in happy understanding. When Giles came down to see Katharine, she ran into his arms. Through laughter and tears, they praised their wise trustee.

'You've mended things,' said Katharine, embracing him.

'Yes,' said Giles, shaking Forsyth warmly by the hand. 'We owe you a dinner tonight.'

'Of course,' said Katharine. 'And we'll show you our bathroom.'

So they escorted the still-smiling lawyer to their home, where they toasted a new beginning.

Indeed, Forsyth had been the one to tie the knot he helped untie—or rather, to guide them back to each other, proving that a good trustee, like a good friend, knows when to let love find its way.