Emily (1818 1848) BrontëWuthering Heights

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Wuthering Heights

Emily (1818 1848) Brontë

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Chapter XXIIRun: 2026-09-16 19:19BokRobot · Seite 1 / 342

Chapter XXII

SumMMER drew to an end, and early autumn: it was past Michaelmas, but the harvest was late that year, and a few of

• 208 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. cour fields were still uncleared. Mr. Linton and his daughter would frequently walk out among the reapers ; at the carrying of the last sheaves, they stayed till dusk, and the evening happen- ing to bechilland damp, my master caught a bad cold, that settled obstinately on his lungs, and confined him indoors throughout the whole of the winter, nearly without intermission. Poor Cathy, frightened from her little romance, had been considerably sadder and duller since its abandonment ; and her father insisted on her reading less, and taking more exercise. She had his companionship no longer ; I esteemed it a duty to supply its lack, as much as possible, with mine: an inefficient substitute ; for I could only spare two or three hours, from my numerous diurnal occupations, to follow her footsteps, and then my society was obviously less. desirable than his.

On an afternoon in October, or the beginning of November —a fresh watery afternoon, when the turf and paths were rustling with moist, withered leaves, and the cold, blue sky was half hidden by clouds—dark grey streamers, rapidly mounting from the west, and boding abundant rain—I requested my young lady to forego her ramble, because I was certain of showers. She refused ; and I unwillingly donned a cloak, and took my umbrella to accompany her on a stroll to the bottom of the park : a formal walk which she generally affected if low-spirited—and that she invariably was when Mr, Edgar had been worse than ordinary, a thing never known from his confession, but guessed both by her and me, from his increased silence and the melancholy of his countenance. She went sadly on: there was no running or bounding now, though the chill wind might well have tempted her to race.

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And often, from the side of my eye, I could detect her raising a hand, and brushing something off her cheek. I gazed round fora means of diverting her thoughts. On one side of the road rose a high, rough bank, where hazels and stunted oaks, with their roots half-exposed, held uncertain tenure: the soil was too loose for the latter ; and strong winds had blown some nearly horizontal. In summer, Miss Catherine delighted to climb along these trunks, and sit in the branches, swinging twenty feet above the ground ; and I, pleased with her agility and her light, childish heart, still considered it proper to scold every time I caught her at such an elevation, but so that she knew there was no necessity for descending, From dinner to tea she would lie in her breeze-rocked cradle, doing nothing except

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 209 singing old songs—my nursery lore—to herself, or watching the birds, joint tenants, feed and entice their young ones to fly: or nestling with closed lids, half thinking, half dreaming, happier than words can express. “‘ Look, miss !’’ I exclaimed, pointing to a nook under the roots of one twisted tree. ‘‘ Winter is not here yet. There’s a little Hower up yonder, the last bud from the multitude of blue- bells that clouded those turf steps in July witha lilac mist. Will you clamber up, and pluck it to show to papa?” Cathy stared a long time at the lonely blossom trembling in its earthy shelter, and replied, at length— ‘“No, I'll not touch it: but it looks melancholy, does it not, Ellen 2?” “Yes,” I observed, ‘‘ about as starved and sackless as you: your cheeks are bloodless; let us:take hold of hands and run. You're so low, I dare say I shall keep up with you.”

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“No,” she repeated, and continued saluntering on, pausing, at intervals, to muse over a bit of moss, or a tuft of blanched grass, or a fungus spreading its bright orange among the heaps of brown foliage ; and, ever and anon, her hand was lifted to her averted face. ‘* Catherine, why are you crying, love?” I asked, approaching and putting my arm over her shoulder, ‘‘ You mustn't cry, be- cause papa has a cold ; be thankful it is nothing worse.” She now put no further restraint on her tears ; her breath was stifled by sobs. ‘‘Oh, it wz/Z be something worse,” she said. ‘‘ And what shall I do when papa and you leave me, and I am by myself? I can’t forget your words, Ellen; they are always in my ear, How life will be changed, how dreary the world will be, when papa and you are dead.” ‘“None can tell, whether you won't die before us,” I replied.

‘It’s wrong to anticipate evil, We'll hope there are years and years to come before any of us go: master is young, and Iam strong, and hardly forty-five. My mother lived till eighty, a canty dame to the last. And suppose Mr, Linton were spared till he saw sixty, that would be more years than you have counted, miss. And would it not be foolish to mourn a calamity above twenty years beforehand?” “‘But Aunt Isabella was younger than papa,” she remarked, gazing up with timid hope to seek further consolation.

• 210 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. ‘« Aunt Isabella had not you and me to nurse her,” I replied. «« She wasn’t as happy as master: she hadn’t as much to live for. All you need do, is to wait well on your father, and cheer him by letting him see you cheerful; and avoid giving him anxiety on any subject: mind that, Cathy! I'll not disguise but you might kill him, if you were wild and reckless, and cherished a foolish, fanciful affection for the son of a person who would be glad to have him in his grave; and allowed him to discover that you fretted over the separation he has judged it expedient to make.” i “‘T fret about nothing on earth except papa’s illness,” answered my companion. ‘‘I care for nothing in comparison with papa. And I'll never—never—oh, never, while I have my senses, do an act or say a word to vex him.

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I love him better than myself, Ellen ; and I know it by this: I pray every night that I may live after him; because I would rather be miserable than that he should be: that proves I love him better than myself.” ‘Good words,” I replied. ‘‘ But deeds must prove it also ; and after he is well, remember you don’t forget resolutions formed in the hour of fear,” As we talked, we neared a door that opened on the road ; and my young lady, lightening into sunshine again, climbed up and seated herself on the top of the wall, reaching over to gather some hips that bloomed scarlet on the summit branches of the wild rose trees, shadowing the highway side: the lower fruit had disappeared, but only birds could touch the upper, except from Cathy’s present station. Instretching to pull them, her hat fell off ; and as the door was locked, she proposed scrambling down to recover it. I bid her be cautious lest she got a fall, and she nimbly disappeared.

But the return was no such easy matter : the stones were smooth and neatly cemented, and the rose-bushes and blackberry stragglers could yield no assistance in re-ascend- ing. I, like a fool, didn’t recollect that, till I heard her laughing and exclaiming— “Ellen! you'll have to fetch the key, or else I must run round to the porter’s lodge. I can’t scale the ramparts on this side!" “«Stay where you are,” I answered, ‘‘ I have my bundle of keys in my pocket : perhaps I may manage to open it ; if not I'll go.” Catherine amused herself with dancing to and fro before the door, while I tried all the large keys in succession. I had applied the last, and found that none would do; so, repeating

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. PABg my desire that she would remain there, I was about to hurry home as fast as I could, when an approaching sound arrested me. It was the trot of a horse; Cathy’s dance stopped also. ““Who is that?” I whispered. ‘‘ Ellen, I wish you could open the door,” whispered back my companion anxiously, ‘‘to, Miss Linton!” cried a deep voice (the rider's), “I’m: glad to meet you. Don’t be in haste to enter, for I have an explanation to ask and obtain.” “‘T shan’t speak to you, Mr. Heathcliff,” answered Catherine. “Papa says you are a wicked man, and you hate both him and me; and Ellen says the same.” “«That is nothing to the purpose,” said Heathcliff. (He it was.) ‘‘I don’t hate my son, I suppose; and it is concerning him that I demand your attention. Yes; you have cause to: blush. Two or three months since, were you not in the habit of writing to Linton? making love in playyeh? You deserved, both of you, flogging for that!

You especially, the elder; and less sensitive, as it turns out. I’ve got your letters, and if you give me any pertness I'll send them to your father. I presume you grew weary of the amusement and dropped it, didn’t you? Well, you dropped Linton with it into a Slough of Despond. He was in earnest: in love, really. As true as I live, he’s dying for you ; breaking his heart at your fickleness: not figuratively, but actu- ally. Though Hareton has made him a standing jest for six weeks, and I have used more serious measures, and attempted to frighten him out of his idiocy, he gets worse daily ; and he'll be under the sod before summer, unless you restore him !” “How can you lie so glaringly to the poor child?” I called from the inside. ‘‘Pray ride on! How can you deliberately get up such paltry falsehoods? Miss Cathy, I’ll knock the lock off with a stone: you won't believe that vilenonsense.

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You can feel in yourself, it is impossible that a person should die for love of a stranger.” “‘T was not aware there were eavesdroppers,” muttered the detected villain. ‘‘ Worthy Mrs, Dean, I like you, but I don’t like your double-dealing,” he added aloud. ‘‘ How could you lie so glaringly, as to affirm I hated the ‘ poor child?’ and invent bugbear stories to terrify her from my door-stones? Catherine Linton (the very name warms me), my bonny lass, I shall be from home all this-week; go and see if I have not spoken truth:

• 212 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. do, there’s a darling! Just imagine your father in my place, and Linton in yours; then think how you would value your careless lover if he refused to stir a step to comfort you, when your father himself entreated him ; and don’t, from pure stupidity, fall into the same error. Iswear, on my salvation, he’s going to his grave, and none but you can save him !”’ The lock gave way and I issued out. ‘‘T swear Linton is dying,” repeated Heathcliff, looking hard at me, ‘‘And grief and disappointment are hastening his death. Nelly, if you won't let her go, you can walk over yourself. But I shall not return till this time next week ; and I think your master himself would scarcely object to her visiting her cousin !”’

“Come in,” said I, taking Cathy by the arm and half forcing her to re-enter ; for she lingered, viewing with troubled eyes the features of the speaker, too stern to express his inward deceit, He pushed his horse close, and, bending down, observed— ‘‘Miss Catherine, I’ll own to you that I have little patience with Linton ; and Hareton and Joseph have less, I'll own that he’s with a harsh set. He pines for kindness, as well as love; anda kind word from you would be his best medicine. Don’t mind Mrs. Dean’s cruel cautions; but be generous, and contrive to see him, He dreams of you day and night, and cannot be persuaded that you don’t hate him, since you neither write nor call.” I closed the door, and rolled a stone to assist the loosened lock in holding it ; and spreading my umbrella, I drew my charge underneath: for the rain began to drive through the moaning branches of the trees, and warned us to avoid delay.

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Our hurry prevented any comment on the encounter with Heathcliff, as we stretched towards home ; but I divined instinctively that Cathe- rine’s heart was clouded now in double darkness. Her features were so sad, they did not seem hers: she evidently regarded what she had heard as every syllable true. The master had retired to rest before we came in. Cathy stole to his room to inquire how he was; he had fallen asleep. She returned, and asked me to sit with her in the library. We took our tea together ; and afterwards she lay down on the rug, and told me not to talk, for she was weary. I got a book, and pre- tended to read. As soon as she supposed me absorbed in my occupation, she recommenced her silent weeping : it appeared, at present, her favourite diversion. I suffered her to enjoy it a while; then I expostulated: deriding and ridiculing all Mr.

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 213 Heathcliff's assertions about his son, as if I were certain she would coincide. Alas! I hadn’t skill to counteract the effect his account had produced : it was just what he intended. “«You may be right, Ellen,” she answered ; ‘‘ but I shall never feel at ease till [know. And I must tell Linton it is not my fault that I don’t write, and convince him that I shall not change.” What use were anger and protestations against her silly credulity? We parted that night—hostile ; but next day beheld me on the road to Wuthering Heights, by the side of my wilful young mistress’s pony. I-couldn’t bear to witness her sorrow: to see her pale dejected countenance, and heavy eyes; and I yielded, in the faint hope that Linton himself might prove, by his reception of us, how little of the tale was founded on fact. —4-— CHAPTER XXIII.

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THE rainy night had ushered in a misty morning—half-frost, half-drizzle—and temporary brooks crossed our path—gurgling from the uplands, My feet were thoroughly wetted ; I was cross and low ; exactly the humour suited for making the most of these disagreeable things. We entered the farmhouse by the kitchen way, to ascertain whether Mr. Heathcliff were really absent : because I put slight faith in his own affirmation. Joseph seemed sitting in a sort of elysium alone, beside a roaring fire; a quart of ale on the table near him, bristling with large pieces of toasted oat-cake ; and his black, short pipe in his mouth. Catherine ran to the hearth to warm herself. I asked if the master was in? My question remained so long unanswered, that I thought the old man had grown deaf, and repeated it louder. ““Na—ay !”’ he snarled, or rather screamed through his nose. ‘‘Na—ay! yah muh goa back whear yah coom frough.”

“Joseph!” cried a peevish voice, simultaneously with me, from the inner room. ‘‘ How often am I to call you? There are only a few red ashes now. Joseph! come this moment.” Vigorous puffs, and a resolute stare into the grate declared he had no ear for this appeal. The housekeeper and Hareton were invisible; one gone on an errand, and the other at his work, probably. We knew Linton’s tones, and entered. “Oh, I hope you'll die in a garret ! starved to death,” said the

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• 24 ; WUTHERING HEIGHTS. oy, mistaking our approach for that of his negligent atten- dant. He stopped, on observing his error ; his cousin flew to him. “«Is that you, Miss Linton?” he said, raising his head from the arm. of the great chair, in which he reclined. ‘‘ No—don’t kiss me: it takes my breath. Dear me! Papasaid you would call, continued he, after recovering a little from Catherine’s embrace ; while she stood by looking very contrite. ‘‘ Will you shut the door, if you please? you left it open ; and those—those dezestable creatures won't bring coals to the fire. It’s so.cold!”’ I stirred up the cinders, and fetched a scuttleful myself. The invalid complained of being covered with ashes; but he had a tiresome cough, and looked feverish and ill, so I did not rebuke his temper. “Well, Linton,” murmured Catherine, when his corrugated ‘brow relaxed. ‘‘Are you glad to see me? Can I do you any good?”

‘« Why didn’t you come before?” he asked. ‘‘ You should have come, instead of writing. It tired me dreadfully, writing those long letters. Id far rather have talked to you. Now, I can neither bear to talk, nor anything else. I wonder where Zillah is! Will you (looking at me) step into the kitchen and see?” I had received no thanks for my other service ; and being un- willing to run to and fro at his behest, I replied— “‘ Nobody is out there but Joseph.” “T want to drink,” he exclaimed fretfully, turning away. ** Zillah is constantly gadding off to Gimmerton since papa went : it’s miserable! And I’m obliged to come down here—they re- solved never to hear me upstairs,” “Ts your father attentive to you, Master Heathcliff?” I asked, perceiving Catherine to be checked in her friendly advances, “Attentive? He makes ¢hem a little more attentive at least,” he cried. ‘‘ The wretches! Do you know, Miss Linton, that brute Hareton laughs at me!

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I hate him! indeed, I hate them all: they are odious beings.” Cathy began searching for some water; she lighted on a pitcher in the dresser, filled a tumbler, and brought it. He bid her add a spoonful of wine from a bottle on the table; and having swallowed a small portion, appeared more tranquil, and said she was very kind. ‘And are you glad to see me?” asked she, reiterating her

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 215 former question, and pleased to detect the faint dawn of a smile. “Yes, Lam. It’s something new to hear a voice like yours !” he replied.. ‘‘ But I have been vexed, because you wouldn't come. And papa swore it was owing to me: he called mea pitiful, shuffling, worthless thing ; and said you despised me; and if he had been in my place, he would be more the master of the Grange than your father, by this time. But you don’t despise me, do you, Miss’”’ “‘T wish you would say Catherine, or Cathy,” interrupted my young lady. ‘‘Despise you? No! Next to papa and Ellen, I love you better than anybody living. I don’t love Mr. Heath- cliff, though ; and I dare not come when he returns: will he stay away many days?” “‘Not many,” answered Linton; ‘‘but he goes on to the moors frequently, since the shooting season commenced; and you might spend an hour or two with me in his absence.

Do say you will, I think I should not be peevish with you: you'd not provoke me, and you’d always be ready to help me, wouldn’t you?” “Yes,” said Catherine, stroking his long soft hair; ‘‘if I could only get papa’s consent, I’d spend half my time with you. Pretty Linton! I wish you were my brother,” ““And then you would like me as well as your father?” observed he, more cheerfully. ‘‘ But papa says you would love me better than him and all the world, if you were my wife; so I'd rather you were that.” “«No, I should never love anybody better than papa,” she returned gravely. ‘‘ And people hate their wives, sometimes ; but not théir'sistersand brothers : and if you were the latter you would live with us, and papa would be as fond of you as he is of me.” Linton denied that people ever hated their wives; but Cathy affirmed they did, and, in her wisdom, instanced his own father’s aversion to her aunt.

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I endeavoured to stop her thoughtless tongue. I couldn't sutceed till everything she knew was out. Master Heathcliff, much irritated, asserted her relation was false. “Papa told me; and papa does not tell falsehoods,” she answered pertly. ‘‘ fy papa scorns yours!” cried Linton, ‘‘He calls him a sneaking fool.” “‘ Yours is a wicked man,” retorted Catherine; ‘‘and you are

• 216 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. very naughty to dare to repeat what he says. He must be wicked to have made Aunt Isabella leave him as she did.” ‘‘She didn’t leave him,” said the boy; ‘‘you shan’t contra- dict me.”’ “«She did,” cried my young lady. “Well, I'll tell you something !” said Linton. | ‘‘ Your mother hated your father : now then.” “‘Oh!” exclaimed Catherine, too enraged to continue. “‘ And she loved mine,” added he. ‘You little liar! I hate you now!” she panted, and her face grew red with passion, ‘She did! she did!” sang Linton, sinking into the recess of his chair,‘and leaning back his head to enjoy the agitation of the other disputant, who stood behind. “Hush, Master Heathcliff!” I said; ‘‘that's your father’s tale, too, I suppose.” “Tt isn’t: you hold your tongue!” he answered. ‘‘She did, she did, Catherine! she did, she did!” Cathy, beside herself, gave the chair a violent push, and caused him to fall against one arm.

He was immediately seized by a suffocating cough that soon ended his triumph. It lasted so long that it frightened even me. As to his cousin, she wept, with all her might ; aghast at the mischief she had done: though she said nothing. I held him till the fit exhausted itself. Then he thrust me away, and leant his head down silently. Catherine quelled her lamentations also, took a seat opposite, and looked solemnly into the fire. ““ How do you feel now, Master Heathcliff?” I inquired, after waiting ten minutes. “TI wish she felt as I do,” he replied: ‘‘spiteful, cruel thing! Hareton never touches me: he never struck me in his life. And I was better to-day : and there ’’—— his voice died ina whimper. ‘‘7 didn’t strike you!’’ muttered Cathy, chewing her lip to prevent another burst of emotion.

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He sighed and moaned like one under great suffering, and kept it up for a quarter of an hour; on purpose to distress his cousin apparently, for whenever he caught a stifled sob from her he put renewed pain and pathos into the inflections of his voice. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Linton,” she said at length, racked beyond endurance. ‘‘ But Zcouldn’t have been hurt by that little push, and I had no idea that you could, either: you're not,

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 207 much, are you, Linton? Don’t let me go home thinking I’ve done you harm. Answer! speak to me.” e “*T can’t speak to you,” he murmured; ‘‘ you've hurt me so, that I shall lie awake all night choking with this cough. If you had it you'd know what it was: but you’// be comfortably asleep while I’m in agony, and nobody near me. I wonder how you would like to pass those fearful nights!” And he began to wail aloud, for very pity of himself. ‘« Since you are in the habit of passing dreadful nights,” I said, ‘‘it won't be miss whovspoils your ease: you’d be the same had she never come. However, she shall not disturb you again ; and perhaps you'll get quieter when we leave you.” ““Must I go?” asked Catherine dolefully, bending over him. “Do you want me to go, Linton?”

““You can’t alter what you've. done,” he replied pettishly, shrinking from her, ‘‘ unless you alter it OE the worse by teasing me into a fever,” ‘‘Well, then, I must go?” she repeated. “Let me alone, at least,” said he ; ‘‘ I can’t bear your talking. She lingered, and resisted my persuasions to departure a tire- some while; but as he neither looked up nor spoke, she finally made a movement to the doorand I followed. We were recalled by a scream. Linton had slid from his seat on to the hearth- stone, and lay writhing in the mere perverseness of an indulged plague of a child, determined to be as grievous and harassing as itcan. I thoroughly gauged his disposition from his behaviour, and saw at once it would be folly to attempt humouring him. Not so my companion: she ran back in terror, knelt down, and cried, and soothed, and entreated, till he grew quiet from lack of breath: by no means from compunction at distressing her.

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“TJ shall lift him on to the settle,” I said, ‘‘and he may roll about as he pleases: we can’t stop to watch him. I hope you are satisfied, Miss Cathy, that you are not the person to benefit him ; and that his condition of health is not occasioned by attach- ment to you. Now, then, there he is! Come away: as soon as he knows there is nobody by to care for his nonsense, he'll be glad to lie still.” She placed a cushion under his head, and offered him some water ; he rejected the latter, and tossed uneasily on the former, as if it were a stone or a block of wood. She tried to put it more comfortably, ”

• 218 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. “TJ can’t do with that,” he said; ‘‘it’s not high enough.” Catherine brought another to lay above it. ““That’s Zoo high,” murmured the provoking thing. “How must I arrange it, then?” she asked despairingly. He twined himself up to her, as she half knelt by the settle, and converted her shoulder into a support. ““No, that won't do,” I said. ‘‘ You'll be content with the cushion, Master Heathcliff. Miss has wasted too much time on you already : we cannot remain five minutes longer.” «* Yes, yes, we can!” replied Cathy. ‘‘ He’s goodand patient now. He’s beginning to think I shall have far greater misery than he will to-night, if I believe he is the worse for my visit ; and thenI dare notcomeagain. Tell the truth about it, Linton ; for I mustn’t come, if I have hurt you.” “You must come, to cure me,’”’ he answered. ‘‘ Youought to come, because you have hurt me: you know you have extremely !

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I was not as ill when you entered as I am at present—was I?” ‘But you've made yourself ill by crying and being ina passion.” “‘T didn’t do it all,” said his cousin. ‘‘ However, we'll be friends now. And you want me: you would wish to see me sometimes, really ?” “‘T told youd did,” hereplied impatiently. ‘‘Sit on the settle and let me lean on your knee. That’s as mamma used to do, whole afternoons together. Sit quite still and don’t talk: but you may sing a song, if youcan sing; or you may say anice long interesting ballad—one of those you promised to teach me; or astory. I'd rather haye a ballad, though: begin.” Catherine repeated the longest she could remember. The employment pleased both mightily. Linton would have another, and after that another, notwithstanding my strenuous objections ; and so they went on until the clock struck twelve, and we heard Hareton in the court, returning for his dinner.

“‘And to-morrow, Catherine, will you be here to-morrow?” asked young Heathcliff, holding her frock as she rose reluc- tantly. ‘*No,” I answered, ‘‘ nor next day neither.” She, however, gave a different response evidently, for his forehead cleared as. she stooped and whispered in his ear, ‘“You won't go to-morrow, recollect, miss !’’ I commenced, when we were out of the house, ‘‘ You are not dreaming of it, are you?”

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 219 *She smiled. ‘Oh, I'll take good care,” I continued : ‘‘I’ll have that lock mended, and you can escape by no way else.” : “‘T can get over the wall,” she said, laughing. ‘ The Grange is not a prison, Ellen, and you are not my gaoler. And besides, I’m almost seventeen: I’m a woman. And I’m certain Linton would recover quickly if he had me to look after him. I’m older than he is, you know, and wiser: less childish, am I not? And he'll soon do as I direct him, with some slight coaxing. He'sa pretty little darling when he’s good. I’d make sucha pet of him, if he were mine. We should never quarrel, should we, after we were used to each other? Don’t you like him, Ellen?” “Like him!” I exclaimed. ‘‘ The worst-tempered bit of a sickly slip that ever struggled into its teens. Happily, as Mr. Heathcliff conjectured, he'll not win twenty. 1 doubt whether he'll see spring, indeed.

And small loss to his family whenever he drops off, And lucky it is for us that his father took him: the kinder he was treated, the more tedious and selfish he’d be. I’m glad you have no chance of having him for a husband, Miss Catherine.” My companion waxed serious at hearing this speech. To speak of his death so regardlessly, wounded her feelings. “ Fe’s younger than I,” she answered, after a protracted pause of meditation, ‘‘ and he ought to live the longest : he will—he must live aslong asI do. He’s as strong now as when he first came into the north ; I’m positive of that. It’s only acold that ails him, the same as papa has. You say papa will get better, and why shouldn’t he?” “‘ Well, well,” I cried, ‘‘ after all, we needn't trouble ourselves ; for listen, miss, and mind, I'l! keep my word,—if you attempt going to Wuthering Heights again, with or without me, I shall inform Mr.

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Linton, and, unless he allow it, the intimacy with your cousin must not be revived.” ‘“‘It has been revived,” muttered Cathy sulkily. ‘Must not be continued, then,” I said. «« We'llsee,” was her reply, and she set offat a gallop, leaving me to toil in the rear. We both reached home before our dinner-time ; my master supposed we had been wandering through the park, and there- fore he demanded no explanation of our absence. As soon as I entered, I hastened to change my soaked shoes and stockings ;

• 220 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. but sitting such a while at the Heights had done the mischief. On the succeeding morning I was laid up, and during three weeks I remained incapacitated for attending to my duties: a calamity never experienced prior to that period, and never, lam thankful to say, since. My little mistress behaved like an angel, in coming to wait on me, and cheer my solitude: the confinement brought me exceed- ingly low. It is wearisome, to a stirring active body: but few have slighter reasons for complaint than I had. The moment Catherine left Mr. Linton’s room, she appeared at my bedside. Her day was divided between us; no amusement usurped a minute: she neglected her meals, her studies, and her play; and she was the fondest nurse that ever watched. She must have had a warm heart, when she loved her father so, to give so much to me.

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I said her days were divided between us; but the master retired early, and I generally needed nothing after six o'clock ; thus the evening was her own. Poor thing ! I never considered what she did with herself after tea. And though frequently, when she looked in to bid me good-night, I remarked a fresh colour in her cheeks and a pinkness over her slender fingers ; instead of fancying the hue borrowed from a cold ride across the moors, | laid it to the charge of a hot fire in the library. HH CHAPTER XXIV. AT the close of three weeks, I was able to quit my chamber, and move about the house. And on the first occasion of my sitting up in the evening, I asked Catherine to read to me, because my eyes were weak. We were in the library, the master having gone to bed: she consented, rather unwillingly, I fancied ; and ima- gining my sort of books did not suit her, I bid her please herself in the choice of what she perused.

She selected one of her own favourites, and got forward steadily about an hour; then came frequent questions. “Ellen, are not you tired? Hadn't you better lie down now. You'll be sick, keeping up so long, Ellen,” ‘«No, no, dear, I'm not tired,” I returned continually. Perceiving me immovable, she essayed another method of showing her disrelish for her occupation. It changed to yawn- ing, and stretching, and—

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS, 221 ‘*Ellen, I'm tired.” ‘«Give over then and talk,” I answered. That was worse: she fretted and sighed, and looked at her watch till eight, and finally went to her room, completely over- done with sleep ; judging by her peevish, heavy look, and the constant rubbing she inflicted on her eyes. The following night she seemed more impatient still; and on the third from recover- ing my company, she complained of a headache, and left me. I thought her conduct odd ; and having remained alone a long while, I resolved on going and inquiring whether she were better, and asking her to come and lie on the sofa, instead of upstairs in the dark. No Catherine could I discover upstairs, and none below. ‘The servants affirmed they had not seen her. I listened at Mr. Edgar’s door; all wassilence. I returned to her apartment, extinguished my candle, and seated myself in the window.

The moon shone bright; a sprinkling,of snow covered the ground, and I reflected that she might, possibly, have taken it into her head to walk about the garden, for refreshment. I did detect a figure creeping along the inner fence of the park ; but it was not my young mistress: on its merging into the light, I re- cognised one of the grooms. He stood a considerable period, viewing the carriage-road through the grounds ; then started off at a brisk pace, as if he had detected something, and reappeared presently, leading miss’s pony; and there she was, just dis- mounted, and walking by its side. The man took his charge stealthily across the grass towards the stable. Cathy entered by the casement-window of the drawing-room, and glided noiselessly up to where I awaited her.

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She put the door gently too, slipped off her snowy shoes, untied her hat, and was proceeding, uncon- scious of my espionage, to lay aside her mantle, when I suddenly rose and revealed myself. Thesurprise petrified her an instant : she uttered an inarticulate exclamation, and stood fixed. ‘ My dear Miss Catherine,” I began, too vividly impressed by her recent kindness to break into a scold, ‘‘ where have you been riding out at thishour? And why should you try to deceive me, by telling a tale? Where have you been? Speak.” “‘To the bottom of the park,” she stammered. ‘‘I didn’t tell a tale.” “© And nowhere else?’”’ I demanded. ‘No,” was the muttered reply.

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. 222 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. “‘Oh, Catherine!” I cried sorrowfully. ‘‘You know you have been doing wrong, or you wouldn’t be driven to uttering an untruth to me. That does grieve me. I'd rather be three months ill, than hear you frame a deliberate tie.” She sprang forward, and bursting into tears, threw her arms round my neck, “‘Well, Ellen, I’m so afraid of you being angry,” she said. “Promise not to be angry, and you shall know the very truth : T hate to hide it.” We sat down in the window-seat ; I assured her I would not scold, whatever her secret might be, and I guessed it of course ; so she commenced— “‘T’ve been to Wuthering Heights, Ellen, and I've never missed going a day since you fell ill; except thrice before, and twice after you left your room. I gave Michael books and pictures to prepare Minny every evening, and to put her back in the stable: you mustn’t scold #zm either, mind.

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Iwas at the Heights by half-past six, and generally stayed till half-past eight, and then galloped home. It was not to amuse myself that I went: I was often wretched all the time. Nowand then I was happy: once inaweek perhaps. At first, I expected there would be sad work persuading you to let me keep my word to Linton: for I had en- gaged to call again next day, when we quitted him; but, as you stayed upstairs on the morrow, I escaped that trouble. While Michael was refastening the lock of the park door in the afternoon, I got possession of the key, and told him how my cousin wished me to visit him, because he was sick, and couldn’t come to the Grange; and how papa would object to my going: and then I negotiated with him about the pony.

Heis fond of reading, and he thinks of leaving soon to get married ; so he offered, if l would lend him books out of the library, to do what I wished: but I preferred giving him my own, and that satisfied him better. “‘On my second visit, Linton seemed in lively spirits; and Zillah (that is their housekeeper) made us a clean room and a good fire, and told us that, as Joseph was out at a prayer-meeting and Hareton Earnshaw was off with his dogs—robbing our woods of pheasants, as I heard afterwards—we might do what we liked. She brought me some warm wine and gingerbread, and appeared exceedingly good-natured ; and Linton sat in the arm-chair, and I in the little rocking-chair on the hearth-stone, and we laughed and talked so merrily, and found so much to say: we planned

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 223 where we would go, and what we would do in summer. I needn’t repeat that, because you would call it silly, ««Qne time, however, we were near quarrelling. He-said the pleasantest manner of spending a hot July day was lying from morning till evening on a bank of heath in the middle of the moors, with the bees humming dreamily about among the bloom, and the larks singing high up overhead, and the blue sky and bright sun shining steadily and cloudlessly. That was his most perfect idea of heaven’s happiness: mine was rocking in a rust- ling green tree, with a west wind blowing, and bright white clouds flitting rapidly above; and not only larks, but throstles, and blackbirds, and linnets, and cuckoos pouring out music on every side, and the moors seen at a distance, broken into cool dusky dells ; but close by great swells of long grass undulating in waves to the breeze; and woods and sounding water, and the whole world awake and wild with joy.- He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee.

Isaid his heaven would be only half alive ; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his ; and he said he could not breathe in mine, and began to grow very snappish. At last, we agreed to try both, as soon as the right weather came ; and then we kissed each other and were friends. “« After sitting still an hour, I looked at the great room with its smooth uncarpeted floor, and thought how nice it would be to play in, if we removed the table; and I asked Linton to call Zillah in to help us, and we’d have a game at blind-man’s buff ; she should try to catch us: you used to, you know, Ellen. He wouldn’t: there was no pleasure in it, he said; but he consented to play at ball with me. We found two ina cupboard, among a heap of old toys, tops, and hoops, and battledores, and shuttle- cocks.

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One was marked C., and the other H,; I wished to have the C., because that stood for Catherine, and the H. might be for Heathcliff, his name ; but the bran came out of H., and Linton didn’t like it. I beat him constantly: and he got cross again, and coughed, and returned to his chair. That night, though, he easily recovered his good humour: he was charmed with two or three pretty songs—your songs, Ellen; and when I was obliged to go, he begged and intreated me to come the following evening; and I promised. Minny and I went flying home as light as air ; and I dreamt of Wuthering Heights and my sweet, darling cousin, till morning.

• 224 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. “On the morrow I was sad ; partly because you were poorly, and partly that I wished my father knew, and approved of my excursions: but it was beautiful moonlight after tea; and, as I rode on, the gloom cleared. I shall have another happy even- ing, I thought to myself ; and what delights me more, my pretty Linton will. I trotted up their garden, and was turning round to the back, when that fellow Earnshaw met me, took my bridle, and bid me go in by the front entrance. He patted Minny’s neck, and said she was a bonny beast, and appeared as if he wanted me to speak to him, I only told him to leave my horse alone, or else it would kick him, He answered in his vulgar accent, ‘It wouldn’t do mitch hurt if it did;’ and surveyed its legs with a smile.

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I was half inclined to make it try ; however, he moved off to open the door, and, as he raised the latch, he looked up to the inscription above, and said, with a stupid mixture of awkwardness and elation— ‘« Miss Catherine! I can read yon, now.’ “«« Wonderful,’ I exclaimed. ‘Pray let us hear you—you ave grown clever!’ “He spelt, and drawled over by syllables, the name—‘ Hareton Earnshaw.’ ‘« And the figures?’ I cried encouragingly, perceiving that he came to a dead halt. ‘**T cannot tell them yet,’ he answered. ““«Oh, you dunce!’ I said, laughing heartily at his failure. ‘“The fool stared, with a grin hovering about his lips, and a scowl gathering over his eyes, as if uncertain whether he might not join in my mirth: whether it were not pleasant familiarity, or what it really was, contempt. I settled his doubts, by suddenly retrieving my gravity and desiring him to walk away, for I came tosee Linton, not him.

He reddened—I saw that by the moon- light—dropped his hand from the latch, and skulked off, a picture of mortified vanity. He imagined himself to be as accomplished as Linton, I suppose, because he could spell his own name ; and was marvellously discomfited that I didn’t think the same.” “Stop, Miss Catherine, dear!” I interrupted. ‘‘I shall not scold, but I don’t like your conduct there. If you had re- membered that Hareton was your cousin as much as Master Heathcliff, you would have felt how improper it was to behave in that way. At least, it was praiseworthy ambition for him to desire to be as accomplished as Linton ; and probably he-did not

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 225 learn merely to show off: you had made him ashamed of his ignorance before, I have no doubt ; and he wished to remedy it and please you. To sneer at his imperfect attempt was very bad breeding. Had you been brought up in his circumstances, would you be less rude? He was as quick and as intelligent a child as ever you were; and I’m hurt that he should be despised now, because that base Heathcliff has treated him so unjustly.” “Well, Ellen, you won’t cry about it, will you?” she ex- claimed, surprised at my earnestness. ‘‘ But wait, and you shall hear if he conned hisA B C to please me; and if it were worth while being civil to the brute, I entered; Linton was lying on the settle, and half got up to welcome me. “«T’'m ill to-night, Catherine, love,’ he said; ‘and youmust have all the talk, and let me listen. Come, and sit byme.

I was sure you wouldn't break your word, and I’ll make you promise again, before you go.’ “‘T knew now that I mustn’t tease hifn, as he was ill; and I spoke softly and put no questions, and avoided irritating him in any way. I had brought some of my nicest books for him; he asked me to read a little of one, and I was about to comply, when Earnshaw burst the door open: having gathered venom with reflection. He advanced direct to us, seized Linton by the arm, and swung him off the seat. “««Get to thy own room!’ he said, in a voice almost inarti- culate with passion ; and his face looked swelled and furious. ‘Take her there if she comes to see thee: thou shalln’t keep me out of this. Begone wi’ ye both!’ “‘ He swore at us, and left Linton no time to answer, nearly throwing him into the kitchen; and he clenched his fist as I followed, seemingly longing to knock me down.

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I was afraid for a moment, and I let one volume fall; he kicked it after me, and shut us out. I heard a malignant, crackly laugh by the fire, and turning, beheld that odious Joseph standing rubbing his bony hands, and quivering, ‘««T wer sure he’d sarve ye out! He’s a grand lad! He's getten t’ raight sperrit in him! Me knaws—Ay, he knaws, as weel as I do, who sud be t’ maister yonder—Ech, ech, ech! He made ye skift properly! Ech, ech, ech!’ “«« Where must we go?’ I asked of my cousin, disregarding the old wretch’s mockery, ‘‘ Linton was white and trembling. He was not pretty then, H

• 226 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. Ellen: oh no! he looked frightful; for his thin face and large eyes were wrought into an expression of frantic, powerless fury. He grasped the handle of the door, and shook it: it was fastened inside, “© Tf you don’t let me in I'll kill you !—If you don’t let me in, Tl kill you!’ he rather shrieked than said. ‘Devil! devil !— Tl kill you—T'1l kill you !’ “Joseph uttered his croaking laugh again. ««4 Thear, that’s t’ father!’ he cried. ‘That's father! We've allas summut o’ either side in us. Niver heed, Hareton, lad— dunnut be ’feard—he cannot get at thee!’ “JT took hold of Linton’s hands, and tried to pull him away ; but he shrieked so shockingly that I dared not proceed. At last his cries were choked by a dreadful fit of coughing; blood ‘gushed from his mouth, and he fell on the ground. I ran into the yard, sick with terror; and called for Zillah, as loud as I could.

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She soon heard me: she was milking the cows in a shed behind the barn, and hurrying from her work, she inquired what there was todo? I hadn’t breath to explain ; dragging her in, I looked about for Linton. Earnshaw had come out to examine the mischief he had caused, and he was then conveying the poor thing upstairs. Zillah and I ascended after him ; but he stopped me at the top of the steps, and said I shouldn't go in: I must go home. I exclaimed that he had killed Linton, and J would enter. Joseph locked the door, and declared I should do ‘no sich stuff,’ and asked me whether I were ‘ bahn to be as mad as him.’ I stood crying, till the housekeeper reappeared. She affirmed he would be better in a bit, but he couldn’t do with that shrieking and din; and she took me, and nearly carried me into the house. “Ellen, I was ready to tear my hair off my head!

I sobbed and wept so that my eyes were almost blind; and the ruffian you have such sympathy with stood opposite : presuming every now and then to bid me ‘wisht,’ and denying that it was his fault; and, finally, frightened by my assertions that I would tell papa, and that he should be put in prison and hanged, he commenced blubbering himself, and hurried out to hide his ‘cowardly agitation. Still, 1 was not rid of him: whenat length they compelled me to depart, and I had got some hundred yards off the premises, he suddenly issued from the shadow of the roadside, and checked Minny and took hold of me,

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. . 227 « «Miss Catherine, I’m ill grieved,’ he began, ‘ but it’s rayther too bad’ - “T gave him a cut with my whip, thinking perhaps he would murder me, He let go, thundering one of his horrid curses, and I galloped home more than half out of my senses. ‘T didn’t bid you good-night that evening, and I didn’t go to Wuthering Heights the next: I wished to go exceedingly ; but I was strangely excited, and dreaded to hear that Linton was dead, sometimes ; and sometimes shuddered at the thought of encountering Hareton. On the third day I took courage: at least, I couldn’t bear longer suspense, and stole off once more. I went at five o’clock, and walked ; fancying I might manage to creep into the house, and up to Linton’s room, unobserved. However, the dogs gave notice of my approach.

Zillah received me, and saying ‘ the lad was mending nicely,’ showed me into a small, tidy, carpeted apartment, where, to my inexpressible joy, I beheld Linton laid on a little sofa, reading one of my books. But he would neither speak to me nor look at me, through a whole hour, Ellen: he has such an unhappy temper. And what quite confounded me, when he did open his mouth, it was to utter the falsehood that I had occasioned the uproar, and Hare- ton was not to blame! Unable to reply, except passionately, I got up and walked from the room. He sent after me a faint ‘Catherine!’ He did not reckon on being answered so: but I wouldn’t turn back; and the morrow was the second day on which I stayed at home, nearly determined to visit him no more, But it was so miserable going to bed and getting up, and never hearing anything about him, that my resolution melted into air before it was properly formed.

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It Aad appeared wrong to take the journey once; now it seemed wrong to refrain, Michael came to ask if he must saddle Minny ; I said ‘ Yes,’ and con- sidered myself doing a duty as she bore me over the hills. Iwas forced to pass the front windows to get to the court: it was no use trying to conceal my presence. “«« Young master is in the house,’ said Zillah, as she saw me making for the parlour. I went in; Earnshaw was there also, but he quitted the room directly. Linton sat in the great arm- chair half asleep; walking up to the fire, I began in a serious tone, partly meaning it to be true— ‘«« As you don’t like me, Linton, and as you think I come on purpose to hurt you, and pretend that I do so every time, this is

• 228 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. our last meeting: let us say good-bye; and tell Mr. Heathcliff that you have no wish to see me, and that he mustn't invent any more falsehoods on the subject.’ ‘««Sit down and take your hat off, Catherine, he answered. ‘You are so much happier than I am, you ought to be better. Papa talks enough of my defects, and shows enough scorn of me, to make it natural I should doubt myself. I doubt whether I am not altogether as worthless as he calls me, frequently ; and then I feel so cross and bitter, I hate everybody! I am worth- less, and bad in temper, and bad in spirit, almost always ; and, if you choose, you may say good-bye: you'll get rid of an annoy- ance. Only, Catherine, do me this justice: believe that if I might be as sweet, and as kind, andas good as youare, I would be; as willingly, and more so, than as happy and as healthy.

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And believe that your kindness has made me love you deeper than if I deserved your love: and though I couldn’t, and cannot help showing my nature to you, I regret it and repent it; and shall regret and repent it till I die!” “TI felt he spoke the truth; and I felt I must forgive him: and, though he should quarrel the next moment, I must forgive him again. We were reconciled; but we cried, both of us, the whole time I stayed: not entirely for sorrow; yet I was sorry Linton had that distorted nature. He’ll never let his friends be at ease, and he'll never be at ease himself! I have always gone to his little parlour, since that night ; because his father returned the day after.

“About three times, I think, we have been merry and hopeful, as we were the first evening; the rest of my visits were dreary and troubled: now with his selfishness and spite, and now with his sufferings : but I’ve learned to endure the former with nearly as little resentment as the latter. Mr. Heathcliff purposely avoids me: I have hardly seen him at all. Last Sunday, indeed, coming earlier than usual, I heard him abusing poor Linton, cruelly, for his conduct of the night before. I can’t tell how he knew of it, unless he listened. Linton had certainly behaved provokingly : however, it was the business of nobody but me, and I interrupted Mr. Heathcliff’s lecture by entering and tell- ing himso. He burst into a laugh, and went away, saying he was glad I took that view of the matter. Since then, I’ve told Linton he must whisper his bitter things. Now, Ellen, you have heard all. I can’t be prevented from going to Wuthering

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 229 Heights, except by inflicting misery on two people; whereas, if you'll only not tell papa, my going need disturb the tranquillity of none. You'll not tell, will you? It will be very heartless if you do.” “Tl make up my mind on that point by to-morrow, Miss Catherine,” I replied. ‘‘It requires some study; and so I'll leave you to your rest, and go think it over.” I thought it over aloud, in my master’s presence; walking straight from her room to his, and relating the whole story: with the exception of her conversations with her cousin, and any mention of Hareton. Mr. Linton was alarmed and distressed, more than he would acknowledge to me. In the morning, Catherine learnt my betrayal of her confidence, and she learnt also that her secret visits were to end.

In vain she wept and writhed against the interdict, and implored her father to have pity on Linton: all she got to comfort her was a promise that he would write and give him leave to dome to the Grange when he pleased ; but explaining that he must no longer expect to see Catherine at Wuthering Heights. Perhaps, had he been aware of his nephew’s disposition and state of health, he would have seen fit to withhold even that slight consolation, —++— CHAPTER XXV. ‘‘THESE things happened last winter, sir,” said Mrs, Dean; “hardly more thana yearago. Last winter, J did not think, at another twelve months’ end, I should be amusing a stranger to the family with relating them! Yet, who knows how long you'll beastranger? You're too young to rest always contented, living by yourself; and I some way fancy no one could see Catherine Linton and not love her.

You smile; but why do you look so lively and interested, when I talk about her? and why have you asked me to hang her picture over your fireplace ? and why ’—— “«Stop, my good friend!” I cried. ‘‘ It may be very possible that Z should love her ; but would she love me? I doubt it too much to venture my tranquillity by running into temptation: and then my home is not here. I’m of the busy world, and to its arms I must return. Go on, Was Catherine obedient to her father’s commands ?”” “‘She was,” continued the housekeeper. ‘‘ Her affection for

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• 230 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. him was still the chief sentiment in her heart ; and he spoke with- out anger: he spoke in the deep tenderness of one about to leave his treasure amid perils and foes, where his remembered words would be the only aid that he could bequeath to guide her. He said to me, a few days afterwards— “‘«T wish my nephew would write, Ellen, or call. Tell me, sincerely, what you think of him: is he changed for the better, or is there a prospect of improvement, as he grows a man?’ «© « He’s very delicate, sir,’ I replied ; ‘and scarcely likely to reach manhood ; but this I can say, he does not resemble his father ; and if Miss Catherine had the misfortune to marry him, he would not be beyond her control: unless she were extremely and foolishly indulgent. However, master, you'll have plenty of time to get acquainted with him, and see whether he would suit her: it wants four years and more to his being of age.’

Edgar sighed ; and walking to the window, looked out towards Gimmerton Kirk. It was a misty afternoon, but the February sun shone dimly, and we could just distinguish the two fir-trees in the yard, and the sparely scattered grave-stones, “T’ve prayed often,” he half soliloquised, ‘‘ for the approach of what is coming; and now I begin to shrink, and fear it. I thought the memory of the hour I came down that glen a bride- groom would be less sweet than the anticipation that I was soon, in a few months, or, possibly, weeks, to be carried up, and laid in its lonely hollow! Ellen, I’ve been very happy with my little Cathy : through winter nights and summer days she was a living hope at my side, But I’ve been as happy musing by myself among those stones, under that old church: lying, through the long June evenings, on the green mound of her mother’s grave, and wishing—yearning for the time when I might lie beneath it. What can I do for Cathy?

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How must I quit her? I’d not care one moment for Linton being Heathcliff’s son ; nor for his taking her from me, if he could console her for my loss. I’d not care that Heathcliff gained his ends, and triumphed in robbing me of my last blessing !_ But should Linton be unworthy—only a feeble tool to his father—I cannot abandon her to him! And, hard though it be to crush her buoyant spirit, I must persevere in making her sad while I live, and leaving her solitary when I die. Darling! Id rather resign her to God, and lay her in the earth before me.” ‘Resign her to God as it is, sir,” I answered, ‘‘and if we

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 231 should lose you—which may He forbid—under His providence, I'll stand her friend and counsellor to the last. Miss Catherine is a good girl: I don’t fear that she will go wilfully wrong ; and people who do their duty are always finally rewarded.”’ Spring advanced ; yet my master gathered no real strength, though he resumed his walks in the grounds with his daughter. To her inexperienced notions, this itself was a sign of convales- cence ; and then his cheek was often flushed, and his eyes were bright: she felt sure of his recovering. On her seventeenth birthday, he did not_visit the churchyard: it was raining, and I observed— “You'll surely not go out to-night, sir?” He answered— ‘No, I'll defer it this year a little longer.” He wrote again to Linton, expressing his great desire to see him ; and, had the invalid been presentable, I’ve no doubt his father would have permitted him to gome.

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As it was, being instructed, he returned an answer, intimating that Mr. Heathcliff objected to his calling at the Grange; but his uncle’s kind re- membrance delighted him, and he hoped to meet him, some- times, in his rambles, and personally to petition that his cousin and he might not remain long so utterly divided. That part of his letter was simple, and probably his own. Heathcliff knew he could plead eloquently for Catherine’s com- pany, then. “‘T do not ask,” he said, ‘‘ that she may visit here; but, am I never to see her, because my father forbids me to go to her home, and you forbid her to come to mine? Do, now and then, ride with her towards the Heights ; and let us exchange a few words, in your presence! We have done nothing to deserve this separa~ tion ; and youare not angry with me: you have no reason to dis- like me, you allow, yourself.

Dear uncle! send me a kind note to-morrow, and leave to join you anywhere you please, except at Thrushcross Grange. I believe an interview would convince you that my father’s character is not mine: he affirms I am more your nephew than his son; and though I have faults which render me unworthy of Catherine, she has excused them, and for her sake, you should also, You inquire after my health—it is better ; but while I remain cut off from ali hope, and doomed to solitude, or the society of those who never did and never will like me, how can J be cheerful and well?”

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• 232 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. Edgar, though he felt for the boy, could not consent to grant his request ; because he could not accompany Catherine. He said, in summer, perhaps, they might meet: meantime, he wished him to continue writing at intervals, and engaged to give him what advice and comfort he was able by letter ; being well aware of his hard position in his family. Linton complied ; and had he been unrestrained, would probably have spoiled all by filling his epistles with complaints and lamentations: but his father kept a sharp watch over him; and, of course, insisted on every line that my master sent being shown; so, instead of penning his peculiar personal sufferings and distresses, the themes constantly uppermost in his thoughts, he harped on the cruel obligation of being held asunder from his friend and love; and gently intimated that Mr.

Linton must allow an interview soon, or he should fear he was purposely deceiving him with empty promises. Cathy was a powerful ally at home ; and, between them, they at length persuaded my master to acquiesce in their having a ride or a walk together about once a week, under my guardianship, and on the moors nearest the Grange: for June found him still declining. Though he had set aside yearly a portion of his income for my young lady’s fortune, he had a natural desire that she might retain—or at least return in a short time to—the house of her ancestors ; and he considered her only prospect of doing that was by a union with his heir; he had no idea that the latter was failing almost as fast as himself ; nor had any one, I believe : no doctor visited the Heights, and no one saw Master Heath- cliff to make report of his condition among us.

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I, for my part, began to fancy my forebodings were false, and that he must be actually rallying, when he mentioned riding and walking on the moors, and seemed so earnest in pursuing his object. I could not picture a father treating a dying child as tyrannically and wickedly as I afterwards learned Heathcliff had treated him, to compel this apparent eagerness: his efforts redoubling the more imminently his avaricious and unfeeling plans were threatened with defeat by death, CHAPTER XXVI, SUMMER was already past its prime, when Edgar reluctantly yielded his assent to their entreaties, and Catherine and I set out

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 233 on our first ride to join her cousin. It was a close, sultry day: devoid of sunshine, but with a sky too dappled and. hazy to threaten rain; and our place of meeting had been fixed at the guide-stone, by the cross-roads. On arriving there, however, a little herd-boy, despatched as a messenger, told us that— ‘‘Maister Linten wer just o’ this side th’ Heights: and he’d be mitch obleeged to us to gang on a bit further.” “Then Master Linton has forgot the first injunction of his uncle,” I observed: ‘‘he bid us keep on the Grange land, and here we are off at oncé.” «Well, we'll turn our horses’ heads round, when we reach him,” answered my companion, ‘‘ our excursion shall lie towards home.” But when we reached him, and that was scarcely a quarter of a mile from his own door, we found he had no horse; and we were forced to dismount, and leave ours to graze.

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He lay on the heath, awaiting our approach, and did not rise till we came within a few yards. Then he walked so feebly, and looked so pale, that I immediately exclaimed— ““Why, Master Heathcliff, you are not fit for enjoying a ramble, this morning. How ill you do look!” Catherine surveyed him with grief and astonishment: she changed the ejaculation of joy on her lips, to one of alarm; and the congratulation on their long-postponed meeting, to an anxious inquiry, whether he were worse than usual ? ‘‘ No—better—better!” he panted, trembling, and retaining her hand as if he needed its support, while his large blue eyes wandered timidly over her ; the hollowness round them trans- forming to haggard wildness the languid expression they once possessed. ‘‘But you have been worse,” persisted his cousin: ‘‘ worse than when I saw you last ; you are thinner, and ’””—— ‘I’m tired,’’ he interrupted hurriedly.

‘‘It is too hot for walking, let us rest here. And, in the morning, I often feel sick —papa says I grow so fast.” Badly satisfied, Cathy sat down, and he reclined beside her, “This is something like your paradise,” said she, making an effort at cheerfulness. ‘‘ You recollect the two days we agreed to spend in the place and way each thought pleasantest? This is nearly yours, only there are clouds; but then they are so soft and mellow: it is nicer than sunshine, Next week, if you can, we'll ride down to the Grange Park, and try mine,” H2

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• 234 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. Linton did not appear to remember what she talked of; and he had evidently great difficulty in sustaining any kind of con- versation, His lack of interest in the subjects she started, and his equal incapacity to contribute to her entertainment, were so obvious that she could not conceal her disappointment. An in- definite alteration had come over his whole person and manner. The pettishness that might be caressed into fondness, had yielded to a listless apathy ; there was less of the peevish temper of a child which frets and teases on purpose to be soothed, and more of the self-absorbed moroseness of a confirmed invalid, repelling consolation, and ready to regard the good-humoured mirth of others as an insult. Catherine perceived, as well as I did, that he held it rather a punishment, than a gratification, to endure our company ; and she made no scruple of proposing, presently, to depart.

That proposal, unexpectedly, roused Linton from his lethargy, and threw him into a strange state of agitation. He glanced fearfully towards the Heights, begging she would remain another half-hour at least. “But I think,” said Cathy, ‘“‘you’d be more comfortable at home than sitting here; and I cannot amuse you to-day, I see, by my tales, and songs, and chatter: you have grown wiser than I, in these six months ; you have little taste for my diversions now : or else, if I could amuse you, I’d willingly stay.” ‘Stay to rest yourself,” he replied. ‘‘ And Catherine, don’t think, or say that I’m very unwell: it is the heavy weather and heat that make me dull; and I walked about, before you came, a great deal for me. ‘Tell uncle I’m in tolerable health, will you?” “Tl tell him that you say so, Linton.

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I couldn't affirm that you are,” observed my young lady, wondering at his pertinacious assertion of what was evidently an untruth, ‘And be here again next Thursday,” continued he, shunning her puzzled gaze. ‘‘And give him my thanks for permitting you to come—my best thanks, Catherine. And—and, if you did meet my father, and he asked you about me, don’t lead him to suppose that I’ve been extremely silent and stupid: don't look sad and downeast, as you ave doing—he'll be angry.” ‘*T care nothing for his anger,” exclaimed Cathy, imagining she would be its object. “But I do,” said her cousin, shuddering. ‘‘ Don’t provoke him against me, Catherine, for he is very hard.” ns

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS, 235 “Ts he severe to you, Master Heathcliff?” I inquired. ‘Has he grown weary of indulgence, and passed from passive to active hatred?” Linton looked at me, but did not answer ; and, after keeping her seat by his side another ten minutes, during which his head fell drowsily on his breast, and he uttered nothing except sup- pressed moans of exhaustion or pain, Cathy began to seek solace in looking for bilberries, and sharing the produce of her researches with me: she did not offer them to him, for she saw further notice would only weary and annoy. “Ts it half-an-hour now, Ellen ?’’ she whispered in my ear, at last. ‘‘I can’t tell why we should stay. He's asleep, and papa will be wanting us back.” “Well, we must not leave him asleep,” I answered; ‘‘ wait till he wakes, and be patient. You were mighty eager to set off, but your longing to see poor Linton has soon evaporated !”’

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“Why did #e wish to see me?’’ returrfed Catherine. ‘‘In his crossest humours, formerly, I liked him better than I do in his present curious mood. It’s just as if it were a task he was com- pelled to perform—this interview—for fear his father should scold him. But I’m hardly going to come to give Mr. Heathcliff pleasure; whatever reason he may have for ordering Linton to undergo this penance. And, though I’m glad he’s better in health, I’m sorry he’s so much less pleasant, and so much less affectionate to me.” “‘You think e zs better in health then?” I said. “Yes,”’ she answered; ‘‘ because he always made such a great deal of his sufferings, you know. He is not tolerably well, as he told me to tell papa; but he’s better, very likely.” ‘‘There you differ with me, Miss Cathy,” I remarked; ‘I should conjecture him to be far worse.” Linton here started from his slumber in bewildered terror, and asked if any one had called his name.

“No,” said Catherine; ‘‘unless in dreams. I cannot conceive how you manage to doze out of doors, in the morning.” “‘T thought I heard my father,” he gasped, glancing up to the frowning nab above us. ‘‘ You are sure nobody spoke?” ‘Quite sure,” replied hiscousin, ‘‘ Only Ellen and I were dis- puting concerning your health. Are you truly stronger, Linton, than when we separated in winter? If you be I’m certain one thing is not stronger—your regard for me: speak,—are you?”

• 2 36 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. Thé tears gushed from Linton’s eyes as he answered, ‘‘ Yes, yes, lam!” And, still under the spell of the imaginary voice, his gaze wandered up and down to detect its owner. Cathy rose, ‘‘For to-day we must part,” she said. ‘‘And I won't conceal that I have been sadly disappointed with our meeting ; though I'll mention it to nobody but you: not that I stand in awe of Mr. Heathcliff.” “Hush,” murmured Linton: ‘‘for God’s sake, hush! He’s coming.” And he clung to Catherine’s arm, striving to detain her; but at that announcement she hastily disengaged herself, and whistled to Minny, who obeyed her like a dog. ‘T’ll be here next Thursday,” she cried, springing to the saddle. ‘‘Good-bye. Quick, Ellen!”

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And so we left him, scarcely conscious of our departure, so absorbed was he in anticipating his father’s approach, Before we reached home, Catherine’s displeasure softened into a perplexed sensation of pity and regret, largely blended with vague, uneasy doubts about Linton’s actual circumstances, physical and social; in which I partook, though I counselled her not to say much; for a second journey would make us better judges. My master requested an account of our ongoings. His nephew’s offering of thanks was duly delivered, Miss Cathy gently touching on the rest: I also threw little light on his inquiries, for I hardly knew what to hide, and what to reveal. —4+— CHAPTER XXVII- SEVEN days glided away, every one marking its course by the henceforth rapid alteration of Edgar Linton’s state. The havoc that months had previously wrought was now emulated by the inroads of hours.

Catherine, we would fain have deluded yet : but her own quick spirit refused to delude her: it divined in secret, and brooded on the dreadful probability, gradually ripening into certainty. She had not the heart to mention her ride, when Thursday came round; I mentioned it for her, and obtained permission to order her out of doors: for the library, where her father stopped a short time daily—the brief period he could bear to sit up—and his chamber, had become her whole world. She grudged each moment that did not find her bending over his pillow, or seated by his side. Her countenance grew

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 237 wan with watching and sorrow, and my master gladly dismissed her to what he flattered himself would be a happy change of scene and society; drawing comfort from the hope that she would not now be left entirely alone after his death. He had a fixed idea, I guessed by several observations he let fall, that, as his nephew resembled him in person, he would resemble him in mind; for Linton’s letters bore few or no indications of his defective character. And I, through pardon- able weakness, refrained from correcting the error; asking myself what good there would be in disturbing his last moments with information that he had neither power nor opportunity to turn to account, We deferred our excursion till the afternoon ; a golden after- noon of August : every breath from the hills so full of life, that it seemed whoever respired it, though dying, might revive.

Cathe- rine’s face was just like the landscape—shadows and sunshine flitting over it in rapid succession ; but thte shadows rested longer, and the sunshine was more transient; and her poor little heart reproached itself for even that passing forgetfulness of its cares. We discerned Linton watching at the same spot he had selected before. My young mistress alighted, and told me that, as she was resolved to stay a very little while, I had better hold the pony and remain on horseback ; but I dissented : I wouldn't risk los- ing sight of the charge committed to me a minute ; so we climbed the slope of heath together. Master Heathcliff received us with greater animation on this occasion: not the animation of high spirits though, nor yet of joy; it looked more like fear, “It is late!” he said, speaking short and with difficulty. ‘'Is not your father very ill? I thought you wouldn’t come.”

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“Why won't you be candid?” cried Catherine, swallowing her greeting. ‘‘ Why cannot you say at once you don’t want me? It is strange, Linton, that for the second time you have brought me here on purpose, apparently, to distress us both, and for no reason besides!” Linton shivered, and glanced at her, half supplicating, half ashamed ; but his cousin’s patience was not sufficient to endure this enigmatical behaviour, ‘« My father Zs very ill,” she said; ‘‘and why am I called from his bedside? Why didn’t you send to absolve me from my pro- mise, when you wished I wouldn’t keep it? Come! I desire an

• 238 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. explanation: playing and trifling are completely banished out of my mind; and I can’t dance attendance on your affectations now!” “My affectations!”” he murmured; ‘‘what are they? For Heaven's sake, Catherine, don’t look so angry! Despise me as much as you please ; I am a worthless, cowardly wretch: I can’t be scorned enough; but I’m too mean for youranger. Hate my father, and spare me for contempt.” ““Nonsense!” cried Catherine, in a passion. ‘‘ Foolish, silly boy! And there! he trembles, as if I were really going to touch him! You needn’t bespeak contempt, Linton: anybody will have it spontaneously at your service. Get off! I shall return home: it is folly dragging you from the hearthstone, and pre- tending—what do we pretend? Let go my frock! IfI pitied you for crying and looking so very frightened, you should spurn such pity.

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Ellen, tell him how disgraceful this conductis, Rise, and don’t degrade yourself into an abject reptile—don't/” With streaming face and an expression of agony, Linton had thrown his nerveless frame along the ground: he seemed con- vulsed with exquisite terror. ““Oh!” hesobbed, ‘‘I cannot bearit! Catherine, Catherine, I’m a traitor, too, and I dare not tell you! But leave me, and I shall be killed! Dear Catherine, my life is in your hands: and you have said you loved me, and if you did, it wouldn’t harm you. You'll not go, then? kind, sweet, good Catherine! And perhaps you zz/7 consent—and he’ll let me die with you!” My young lady, on witnessing his intense anguish, stooped to raisehim. ‘The old feeling of indulgent tenderness overcame her vexation, and she grew thoroughly moved and alarmed. ‘Consent to what?” she asked. ‘‘To stay! ‘Tell me the meaning of this strange talk, and I will. You contradict your own words, and distract me!

Becalm and frank, and confess at once all that weighs on your heart. You wouldn’t injure me, Linton, would you? You wouldn't let any enemy hurt me, if you could prevent it? I'll believe you are a coward for yourself, but not a cowardly betrayer of your best friend.” “But my father threatened me,” gasped the boy, clasping his attenuated fingers, ‘‘and I dread him—I dread him! I dave not tell!” “Oh, well!” said Catherine, with scornful compassion, -‘‘ keep. your secret: /'z¢ no coward. Save yourself: I’m not afraid!”

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS, 239 Her magnanimity provoked his tears: he wept wildly, kissing hersupporting hands, and yet could notsummon courage to speak out. I was cogitating what the mystery might be, and deter- mined Catherine should never suffer, to benefit him or any one else, by my good will; when hearing a rustle among the ling, I looked up and saw Mr. Heathcliff almost close upon us, descend- ing the Heights. He didn’t cast a glance towards my com- panions, though they were sufficiently near for Linton’s sobs to be audible; but hailing mein the almost hearty tone he assumed to none besides, and the sincerity of which I couldn’t avoid doubting, he said— “Tt is something to see you so near to my house, Nelly. How are you at the Grange? Let us hear. The rumour goes,” he added in a lower tone, ‘‘that Edgar Linton is on his deathbed: perhaps they exaggerate his illness!”

‘““No; my master is dying,’ I replied: ‘‘it is true enough, A sad thing it will be for us ail, but a blessing for him!” ‘* How long will he last, do you think?” he asked. ‘«T don’t know,” I said. ‘‘ Because,” he continued, looking at the two young people, who were fixed under his eye—Linton appeared as if he could not venture to stir or raise his head, and Catherine could not move, on his account—‘‘ because that lad yonder seems deter- mined to beat me; and I’d thank his uncle to be quick, and go before him. Hallo! has the whelp been playing that game long? I did give him some lessons about snivelling. Is he pretty lively with Miss Linton generally?” “« Lively ? no—he has shown the greatest distress,” I answered. ‘““To see him, I should say, that instead of rambling with his sweetheart on the hills, he ought to be in bed, under the hands of a doctor.” ‘He shall be in a day or two,” muttered Heathcliff. ‘ But first—get up, Linton!

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Get up!” he shouted. ‘‘ Don’t grovel on the ground there: up, this moment !”’ Linton had sunk prostrate again in another paroxysm of help- less fear, caused by his father’s glance towards him, I suppose : there was nothing else to produce such humiliation. He made several efforts to obey, but his little strength was annihilated for the time, and he fell back again with a moan. Mr. Heathcliff advanced, and lifted him to lean against a ridge of turf. “Now,” said he, with curbed ferocity, ‘‘I’m getting angry ;

• 240 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. and if you don’t command that paltry spirit of yours—Damn you! get up directly!” ‘«T will, father,” he panted. ‘‘ Only, let me alone, or I shall faint. I've doneas you wished, I’msure. Catherine will tell you that I—that I—have been cheerful. Ah! keep by me, Catherine : give me your hand.” ““Take mine,” said his father; ‘‘stand on your feet. There now—she’ll lend you her arm: that’s right, look at her, You would imagine I was the devil himself, Miss Linton, to excite such horror, Beso kind as to walk home with him, will you? He shudders if I touch him.” “Linton, dear !’’ whispered Catherine, ‘‘ I can’t go to Wuther- ing Heights: papa has forbidden me. He'll not harm you: why are you so afraid?” ‘«T can never re-enter that house,” he answered. ‘‘I’m zo¢ to re-enter it without you !”’ “Stop!” cried his father. ‘‘ We'll respect Catherine’s filial scruples.

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Nelly, take him in, and I'll follow your advice con- cerning the doctor, without delay.” ‘You'll do well,” replied I. ‘‘But I must remain with my mistress: to mind your son is not my business.” “You are very stiff,” said Heathcliff, ‘‘I know that : but you'll force me to pinch the baby and make it scream before it moves your charity. Come, then, myhero. Are you willing to return, escorted by me?” He approached once more, and made as if he would seize the fragile being ; but, shrinking back, Linton clung to his cousin, and implored her to accompany him, with a frantic importunity that admitted no denial. However I disapproved, I couldn't hinder her: indeed, how could she have refused him herself? What was filling him with dread we had no means of discerning : but there he was, powerless under its gripe, and any addition seemed capable of shocking him into idiocy.

We reached the threshold : Catherine walked in, and I stood waiting till she had conducted the invalid to a chair, expecting her out immediately ; when Mr. Heathcliff, pushing me forward, exclaimed— ‘« My house is not stricken with the plague, Nelly ; and I have a mind to be hospitable to-day: sit down, and allow me to shut the door,” He shut and locked it also, I started. : ‘You shall have tea before you go home,” he added. ‘Iam

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 241 by myself, Hareton is gone with some cattle to the Lees, and Zillah and Joseph are off on a journey of pleasure ; and, though I’m used to being alone, I’d rather have some interesting com: pany, if Ican get it. Miss Linton, take your seat by him. I give you what I have: the present is hardly worth accepting ; but I have nothing else to offer. It is Linton, I mean. How she does stare! It’s odd what a savage feeling I have to any- thing that seems afraid of me! Had I been born where laws are less strict and tastes less dainty, I should treat myself to a slow vivisection of those two, as an evening’s amusement,” He drew in his breath, struck the table, and swore to himself, “ By hell! I hate them.” ‘*I’'m not afraid of you!” exclaimed Catherine, who could not hear the latter part of his speech. She stepped close up; her black eyes flashing with passion and resolution. ‘‘ Give me that key: I willhave it!’’ she said.

‘‘I wouldn't eat or drink here, if I were starving.” : Heathcliff had the key in his hand that remained on the table. He looked up, seized with a sort of surprise at her boldness; or, possibly, reminded by her voice and glance, of the person from whom she inherited it. She snatched at the instrument, and half-succeeded in getting it out of his loosened fingers: but her action recalled him to the present ; he recovered it speedily. ‘Now, Catherine Linton,” he said, ‘‘ stand off, or I shall knock you down ; and that will make Mrs. Dean mad.” Regardless of this warning, she captured his closed hand and its contents again. ‘‘ We wz// go!” she repeated, exerting her utmost efforts to cause the iron muscles to relax; and finding that her nails made no impression, she applied her teeth pretty sharply. Heathcliff glanced at me a glance that kept me from interfering a moment. Catherine was too intent on his fingers to notice his face.

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He opened them suddenly, and resigned the object of dispute; but, ere she had well secured it, he seized her with the liberated hand, and, pulling her on his knee, adminis- tered with the other a shower of terrific slaps on both sides of the head, each sufficient to have fulfilled his threat, had she been able to fall. At this diabolical violence I rushed on him furiously. ‘‘ You villain!” I began to cry, ‘‘ you villain!’’ A touch on the chest silenced me: I am stout, and soon put out of breath ; and, what with that and the rage, I staggered dizzily back, and felt ready

• 242 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. to suffocate, or to burst a blood-vessel. The scene was over in two minutes; Catherine, released, put her two hands to her temples, and looked just as if she were not sure whether her ears were off or on. She trembled like a reed, poor thing, and leant against the table perfectly bewildered. “T know how to chastise children, you see,” said the scoundrel grimly, as he stooped to repossess himself of the key, which had dropped to the floor. ‘‘ Go to Linton now, as I told you; and cry at your ease! I shall be your father, to-morrow—all the father you'll have in a few days—and you shall have plenty of that. You can bear plenty; you're no weakling: you shall have a daily taste, if I catch such a devil of a temper in your eyes again!” Cathy ran to me instead of Linton, and knelt down and put her burning cheek on my lap, weeping aloud.

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Her cousin had shrunk into a corner of the settle, as quiet as a mouse, congratulating himself, I dare say, that the correction had lighted on another than him. Mr. Heathcliff, perceiving us all confounded, rose, and expeditiously made the tea himself. The cups and saucers were laid ready. He poured it out, and handed me a cup. ‘Wash away your spleen,” he said. ‘‘And help your own naughty pet and mine. It is not poisoned, though I prepared it. I’m going out to seek your horses.” Our first thought, on his departure, was to force an exit some- where. We tried the kitchen door, but that was fastened out- side: we looked at the windows—they were too narrow for even Cathy’s little figure. “Master Linton,” I cried, seeing we were regularly imprisoned : ‘‘you know what your diabolical father is after, and you shall tell us, or I'll box your ears, as he has done your cousin’s.” “Yes, Linton, you must tell,” said Catherine.

‘‘ It was for your sake I came; and it will be wickedly ungrateful if you refuse.” ‘Give me some tea, I’m thirsty, and then I'll tell you," he answered. ‘‘Mrs. Dean, go away. I don't like you standing over me. Now, Catherine, you are letting your tears fall into my cup, I won't drink that. Give me another.” Catherine pushed another to him, and wiped her face. I felt disgusted at the little wretch’s composure, since he was no longer in terror for himself. The anguish he had exhibited on the moor subsided as soon as ever he entered Wuthering Heights; so I guessed he had been menaced with an awful visitation of wrath

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 243. if he failed in decoying us there ; and, that accomplished, he had no further immediate fears, “Papa wants us to be married,” he continued, after sipping some of the liquid. ‘‘And he knows your papa wouldn’t let us marry now ; and he’s afraid of my dying, if we wait; so we are to be married in the morning, and you are to stay here all night ; and if you do as he wishes, you shall return home next day, and take me with you.” “Take you with her, pitiful changeling?” I exclaimed. ‘*You marry? Why, the man is mad; or he thinks us fools, every one. And do you imagine that beautiful young lady, that healthy, hearty girl, will tie herself to a little perishing monkey like you! Are you cherishing the notion that azydody, let alone Miss Catherine Linton, would have you for a husband? You want whipping for bringing us in here at all, with your dastardly puling tricks ; and—don’t look so silly, now!

I’ve a very good mind to shake you severely, for your tontemptible treachery, and your imbecile conceit.” I did give him a slight shaking ; but it brought on the cough, and he took to his ordinary resource of moaning and weeping, and Catherine rebuked me. “‘Stay all night? No,” she said, looking slowly round. ‘* Ellen, I'll burn that door down, but I’ll get out.” And she would have commenced the execution of her threat directly, but Linton was up in alarm for his dear self again. He clasped her in his two feeble arms, sobbing— ‘Won't you have me, and save me? not let me come to the Grange? Oh! darling Catherine! you mustn’t go and leave, after all. You must obey my father—you must /” ‘«T must obey my own,” she replied, ‘‘and relieve him from this cruel suspense. The whole night! What would he think ? he'll be distressed already. I'll either break or burn a way out of the house, Be quiet!

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You're in no danger; but if you hinder me—Linton, I love papa better than you!” The mortal terror he felt of Mr. Heathcliff's anger, restored to the boy his coward’s eloquence. Catherine was near dis- traught : still, she persisted that she must go home, and tried entreaty in her turn, persuading him to subdue his selfish agony. While they were thus occupied, our gaoler re-entered. «Your beasts have trotted off,” he said, ‘‘and—now, Linton ! snivelling again? What has she been doing to you? Come,

• 244 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. come—have done, and get tobed. Ina month or two, my lad, you'll be able to pay her back her present tyrannies with a vigorous hand. You're pining for pure love, are you not? nothing else in the world: and she shall have you! ‘There, to bed! Zillah won't be here to-night ; you must undress yourself. Hush ! hold your noise! Once in your own room, I'll not come near you: you needn’t fear. By chance you’ve managed tole- rably, I'll look to the rest.” He spoke these words, holding the door open for his son to pass; and the latter achieved his exit exactly as a spaniel might, which suspected the person who attended on it of designing a spiteful squeeze. The lock was re-secured. Heathcliff ap- proached the fire, where my mistress and I stood silent. Cathe- rine looked up, and instinctively raised her hand to her cheek : his neighbourhood revived a painful sensation.

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Anybody else would have been incapable of regarding the childish act with sternness, but he scowled on her, and muttered— “Oh! you are not afraid of me? Your courage is well dis- guised : you seem damnably afraid !” “‘T am afraid now,” she replied, ‘‘ because, if I.stay, papa will be miserable; and how can IJ endure making him miserable ; —when he—when he—Mr. Heathcliff, 7e¢ me go home! I pro- mise to marry Linton: papa would like me to: and I love him. Why should you wish to force me to do what I'll willingly do of myself?” ‘Let him dare to force you!” I cried. ‘‘ There’s law in the jand, thank God there is; though we be in an out-of-the-way place. I'd inform if he were my own son: and it’s felony with- out benefit of clergy!” “‘ Silence!” said the ruffian. ‘‘To the devil with your clam- our! I don’t want you to speak.

Miss Linton, I shall enjoy myself remarkably in thinking your father will be miserable: I shall not sleep for satisfaction. You could have hit on no surer way of fixing your residence under my roof for the next twenty- four hours, than informing me that such an event would follow. As to your promise to marry Linton, I’ll take care you shall keep it; for you shall not quit this place till it is fulfilled.” ‘Send Ellen, then, to let papa know I’m safe!” exclaimed Catherine, weeping bitterly. ‘‘Ormarrymenow. Poor papa! Ellen, he’ll think we're lost. What shall we do?” “Not he! He'll think you are tired of waiting on him, and

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS, 245 run off for a little amusement,” answered Heathcliff. ‘You cannot deny that you entered my house of your own accord, in contempt of his injunctions to the contrary. And it is quite natural that you should desire amusement at your age ; and that you would weary of nursing a sick man, and that man only your father. Catherine, his happiest days were over when your days began. He cursed you, I dare say, for coming into the world (I did, at least); and it would just do if he cursed you as he went out of it. I’d join him, I don’t love you! How should I? Weep away. As faras I can see, it will be your chief diversion hereafter ; unless Linton make amends for other losses : and your provident parent appears to fancy he may. His letters of advice and consolation entertained me vastly, In his last he recom- mended my jewel to be careful of his ; and kind to her when he got her.

Careful and kind—that’s paternal, But Linton requires his whole stock of care and kindness for himself. Linton can play the little tyrant well. He'll undertake to torture any num- ber of cats, if their teeth be drawn and their claws pared. You'll be able to tell his uncle fine tales of his 2z~dness, when you get home again, I assure you.” “You're right there!’ I said; ‘‘explain your son’s character. Show his resemblance to yourself ; and then, I hope, Miss Cathy will think twice before she takes the cockatrice !” ‘‘T don’t much mind speaking of his amiable qualities now,”’ he answered ; ‘‘ because she must either accept him or remain a prisoner, and youalong with her, till your master dies, I can de- tain you both, quite concealed, here. If you doubt, encourage her to retract her word, and you'll have an opportunity of judging!”

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“«T’ll not retract my word,” said Catherine, ‘‘I'll marry him within this hour, if I may go to Thrushcross Grange afterwards. Mr. Heathcliff, you're a cruel man, but you're not a fiend ; and you won’t, from mere malice, destroy irrevocably all my happi- ness. If papa thought I had left him on purpose, and if he died before I returned, could I bear to live? I’ve given over crying : but I’m going to kneel here, at your knee; and I'll not get up, and I'll not take my eyes from your face till you look back at me! No, don’t turn away! do look! You'll see nothing to provoke you. I don’t hate you. I'm not angry that you struck me. Have you never loved amydody in all your life, uncle? ~ever? Ah! you must look once. I'm so wretched, you can’t help being sorry and pitying me.”

• 246 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. “Keep your eft’s fingers off; and move, or I'll kick you!” cried Heathcliff, brutally repulsing her. ‘‘I’d rather be hugged by asnake. How the devil can you dream of fawning on me? I detest you!” 4 He shrugged his shoulders: shook himself, indeed, as if his flesh crept with aversion ; and thrust back his chair ; while I got up, and opened my mouth, to commence a downright torrent of abuse. But I was rendered dumb in the middle of the first sentence, by a threat that I should be shown into a room by my- self the very next syllable I uttered. It was growing dark—we heard a sound of voices at the garden gate. Our host hurried out instantly: e had his wits about him; we had not. There was a talk of two or three minutes, and he returned alone. “‘T thought it had been your cousin Hareton,” I observed to Catherine. «‘‘I wish he wouldarrive ! Who knows but he might take our part?”

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“Tt was three servants sent toseek you from the Grange,” said Heathcliff, overhearing me, ‘‘ You should have opened a lattice and called out: but I could swear that chit is glad you didn’t. She’s glad to be obliged to stay, I’m certain.” At learning the chance we had missed, we both gave vent to our grief without control ; and he allowed us to wail on till nine o'clock. Then he bid us go upstairs, through the kitchen, to Zillah’s chamber; and I whispered my companion to obey: perhaps we might contrive to get through the window there, or into a garret, and out by its skylight. ‘The window, however, was narrow, like those below, and the garret trap was safe from our attempts ; for we were fastened in as before. We neither of us lay down: Catherine took her station by the lattice, and watched anxiously for morning; a deep sigh being the only answer I could obtain to my frequent entreaties that she would try to rest.

I seated myself in a chair, and rocked to and fro, passing harsh judgment on my many derelictions of duty ; from which, it struck me then, all the misfortunes of my employers sprang. It was not the case, in reality, 1 amaware; but it was, in my imagination, that dismal night; and I thought Heathcliff himself less guilty than I, At seven o'clock he came, and inquired if Miss Linton had risen, She ran to the door immediately, and answered, ‘‘ Yes.” ‘*Here, then,” he said, opening it, and pulling her out. Irose to follow, but he turned the lock again, I demanded my release,

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 247 “Be patient,” he replied; ‘‘ Ill send up your breakfast in a while.” f I thumped on the panels, and rattled the latch angrily ; and Catherine asked why I was still shut up? Heanswered, I must try to endure it another hour, and they went away. I endured it two or three hours ; at length, I heard a footstep : not Heathcliff’s. “‘T’ve brought you something to eat,” said a voice; ‘‘oppen t? door !”’ Complying eagerly, I beheld Hareton, laden with food enough to last me all day. “Tak it,” he added, thrusting the tray into my hand. “« Stay one minute,” I began.

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““Nay,” cried he, and retired, regardless of any prayers-I could pour forth to detain him, And there I remained enclosed the whole day, and the whole of the next night ; and another, and another, Five nights and four days I remained, altogether, seeing’ nobody but Hareton, once every morning ; and he was a model of a gaoler: surly, and dumb, and deaf to every attempt at moving his sense of justice or compassion, CHAPTER XXVIII. ON the fifth morning, or rather afternoon, a different step approached—lighter and shorter ; and, this time, the person entered the room. It was Zillah ; donned in her scarlet shawl, with a black silk bonnet on her head, and a willow basket swung to her arm. ‘Eh, dear! Mrs. Dean!” she exclaied “‘ Well! there is a talk about you at Gimmerton, I never thought but you were sunk in the Blackhorse marsh, and missy with you, till master told me you'd been found, and he’d lodged you here!

What! and you must have got on an island, sure? And how long were you in the hole? Did master save you, Mrs. Dean? But you're not so thin—you’ve not been so poorly, have you?” «Your master is a true scoundrel!” I replied. ‘‘ But he shall answer for it, He needn't have raised that tale: it shall all be laid bare!” “What do you paca 2? asked Zillah. ‘‘It’s not his tale; they tell that in the village—about your being lost in the marsh:

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• 248 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. and I calls to Earnshaw, when I come in—‘Eh, they’s queer things, Mr. Hareton, happened since I went off. It's a sad pity of that likely young lass, and cant Nelly Dean.” He stared. I thought he had not heard aught, so I told him the rumour. © The master listened, and he just smiled to himself, and said, ‘If they have been in the marsh, they are out now, Zillah. Nelly Dean is lodged, at this minute, in your room. You can tell her to flit, when you go up; here is the key. The bog-water got into her head, and she would have run home quite flighty ; but I fixed her till she came round to her senses. You can bid her go to the Grange at once, if she be able, and carry a message from me, that her young lady will follow in time to attend the squire’s funeral.’ ” ‘Mr, Edgar is not dead?” I gasped, ‘Oh! Zillah, Zillah!” “No, no; sit you down, my good mistress,’’ she replied, ‘‘ you're right sickly yet.

He’s not dead; Doctor Kenneth thinks he may last another day. I met him on the road and asked.” Instead of sitting down, I snatched my outdoor things, and hastened below, for the way was free. On entering the house, I looked about for some one to give information of Catherine. The place was filled with sunshine, and the door stood wide open ; but nobody seemed at hand. As I hesitated whether to go off at once, or return and seek my mistress, a slight cough drew my attention to the hearth. Linton lay on the settle, sole tenant, sucking a stick of sugar-candy, and pursuing my move- ments with apathetic eyes. ‘‘ Where is Miss Catherine?” . I demanded sternly, supposing I could frighten him into giving intelligence, by catching him thus, alone. He sucked on like an innocent. “Ts she gone?” I said. ‘“No,” he replied ; ‘‘ she’s upstairs: she’s not to go; we won’t let her.”’ ‘*You won't let her, little idiot!’ I exclaimed.

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‘‘ Direct me to her room immediately, or I'll make you sing out sharply.” “Papa would make you sing out, if you attempted to get there,” he answered. ‘‘ He says I’m not to be soft with Catherine: she’s my wife, and it’s shameful that she should wish to leave me. He says, she hates me and wants me to die, that she may have my money ; but she shan’t have it: and she shan’t go home! She never shall!—she may cry, and be sick as much-as she pleases!”

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 249 He resumed his former occupation, closing his lids, as if he meant to drop asleep. ‘‘Master Heathcliff,” I resumed, ‘‘have you sigertss all Catherine's kindness to you last winter, when you affirmed you loved her, and when she brought you books and sung you songs, and came many a time through wind and snow tosee you? She wept to miss one evening, because you would be disappointed ; and you felt then that she was a hundred times too good to you: and now you believe the lies your father tells, though you know he detests you both. And you join him against her. That’s fine gratitude, is it not?”’ The corner of Linton’s mouth fell, and he took the sugar- candy from his lips. “‘ Did she come to Wuthering Heights, because she hated you?” Icontinued, ‘‘ Think for yourself! As to your money, she does not even know that you will have any. And you say she’s sick ; and yet, you leave her alone, up there in a strange house!

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Yoz who have felt what it isto beso neglected! Youcould pity your own sufferings ; and she pitied them too ; but you won't pity hers! I shed tears, Master Heathcliff, you see-—-an elderly woman, and a servant merely—and you, after pretending such affection, and having reason to worship her almost, store every tear you have for yourself, and lie there quite at ease, Ah! you're a heartless, selfish boy!” “‘T can’t stay with her,” he answered crossly. ‘‘I'll not stay by myself. She criesso I can’t bear it. And she won't give over, though I say I'll call my father. I did call him once, and he threatened to strangle her, if she was not quiet; but she began again the instant he left the room, moaning and grieving all night long, though I screamed for vexation that I couldn't sleep.” “Is Mr. Heathcliff out?’’

I inquired, perceiving that the wretched creature had no power to sympathise with his cousin's mental tortures, ‘He's in the court,” he replied, ‘‘ talking to Doctor Kenneth ; who says uncle is dying, truly, at last. I’m glad, for I shall be master of the Grange after him. Catherine always spoke of it as her house. Itisn’t hers! It’s mine: papa says everything she hasis mine. All her nice books are mine; she offered to give me them, and her pretty birds, and her pony Minny, if I would get the key of our room, and let her out; but I told her she had nothing to give, they were all, allmine. And then shecried, and

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• 250 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. took a little picture from her neck, and said I should have that ; two pictures in a gold case, on one side her mother, and on the other, uncle, when they were young. That was yesterday—I said they were mine, too; and tried to get them fromher. Thespiteful thing wouldn’t let me: she pushed me off, and hurt me. I shrieked out—that frightens her—she heard papa coming, and she broke the hinges and divided the case, and gave me her mother’s portrait ; the other she attempted to hide: but papa asked what was the matter, and I explained it. He took the one I had away, and ordered her to resign hers to me; she refused, and he—he struck her down, and wrenched it off the chain, and crushed it with his foot.” «And were you pleased to see her struck?” I asked: having my designs in encouraging his talk. ‘‘T winked,” he answered: ‘‘I wink to see my father strike a dog or a horse, he does itso hard.

Yet I was glad at first—she deserved punishing for pushing me: but when papa was gone, she made me come to the window and showed me her cheek cut on the inside, against her teeth, and her mouth filling with blood ; and then she gathered up the bits of the picture, and went and sat down with her face to the wall, and she has never spoken to me since: and I sometimes think she can’t speak for pain. I don’t like to think so ; but she’s a naughty thing for crying continually ; and she looks so pale and wild, I’m afraid of her.” «And you can get the key if you choose?” I said. ‘“Yes, when I am upstairs,” he answered ; ‘‘ but I can’t walk upstairs now.” ‘“Tn what apariment is it?” I asked. “‘Oh,” he cried, ‘‘I shan’t tell you where it is! It is our secret. Nobody, neither Hareton nor Zillah, is to know. There! you've tired me—go away, go away!”’ And he turned his face on to his arm, and shut his eyes again.

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Iconsidered it best to depart without seeing Mr. Heathcliff, and bring a rescue for my young lady from the Grange. On reaching it, the astonishment of my fellow-servants to see me, and their joy also, was intense ; and when they heard that their little mistress was safe, two or three were about to hurry up and shout the news at Mr. Edgar’s door: but I bespoke the announcement of it, my- self. How changed I found him, even in those few days! He lay an image of sadness and resignation waiting his death. Very young he looked; though his actual age was thirty-nine, one

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 251 would have called him ten years younger, at least. He thought of Catherine ; for he murmured hername. JI touched his hand, and spoke. “‘Catherine is coming, dear master!’’ I whispered ; ‘‘she is alive and well; and will be here, I hope, to-night,” I trembled at the first effects of this intelligence: he half rose up, looked eagerly round the apartment, and then sank back in aswoon. As soon as he recovered, I related our compulsory visit, and detention at the Heights. I said Heathcliff forced me to go in: which was not quite true.

I uttered as little as possible against Linton ; nor did I describe all his father’s brutal conduct—my intentions being to add no bitterness, if I could help it, to his already overflowing cup, He divined that one of his enemy’s purposes was to secure the personal property, as well as the-estate, to his son: or rather himself ; yet why he did not wait till his decease was a puzzle to my master, because ignorant how nearly he and his nephew would quit the world together. However, he felt that his will had better be altered: instead of leaving Catherine’s fortune at her own disposal, he determined to put it in the hands of trustees for her use during life, and for her children, if she had any, after her. By that means, it could not fall to Mr. Heath- cliff should Linton die. Having received his orders, I despatched a man to fetch the attorney, and four more, provided with serviceable weapons, to demand my young lady of her gaoler.

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Both parties were delayed very late. The single servant returned first. Hesaid Mr. Green, the lawyer, was out when he arrived at his house, and he had to wait two hours for his re-entrance; and then Mr. Green told him he had a little business in the village that must be done; but he would be at Thrushcross Grange before morning. The four men came back unaccompanied also. They brought word that Cathe- rine was ill: too ill to quit her room; and Heathcliff would not suffer them to see her. I scolded the stupid fellows well for listening to that tale, which I would not carry to my master; re- solving to take a whole bevy up to the Heights, at daylight, and storm it literally, unless the prisoner were quietly surrendered to us. Her father sza// see her, I vowed, and vowed again, if that devil be killed on his own doorstones in trying to prevent it ! Happily, I was spared the journey and the trouble.

I had gone downstairs at three o'clock to fetch a jug of water; and

• 252 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. was passing through the hall with it in my hand, when a sharp knock at the front door made me jump. ‘‘ Oh! it is Green,” I said, recollecting myself—‘‘ only Green,” and I went on, intend- ing to send somebody else to open it; but the knock was re- peated: not loud, and still importunately. I put the jug on the banister and hastened to admit him myself. The harvest moon shone clear outside. It was not the attorney. My own sweet little mistress sprang on my neck, sobbing— “Ellen! Ellen! is papa alive?” “Yes,” I cried: ‘‘yes, my angel, he is. God be thanked, you are safe with us again!” She wanted to run, breathless as she was, upstairs to Mr. Linton’s room ; but I compelled her to sit down on a chair, and made her drink, and washed her pale face, chafing it into a faint colour with my apron.

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Then I said I must go first, and tell of her arrival ; imploring her to say, she should be happy with young Heathcliff, She stared, but soon comprehending why I coun- selled her to utter the falsehood, she assured me she would not complain. I couldn’t abide to be present at their meeting. I stood out- side the chamber-door a quarter of an hour, and hardly ventured near the bed, then. All was composed, however: Catherine's despair was as silent as her father’s joy. She supported him calmly, in appearance; and he fixed on her features his raised eyes, that seemed dilating with ecstasy. He died blissfully, Mr. Lockwood: he died so. Kissing her cheek, he murmured— “Tam going to her; and you, darling child, shall come to us!” and never stirred or spoke again; but continued that rapt, radiant gaze, till his pulse imperceptibly stopped and his soul departed.

None could have noticed the exact minute of his death, it was so entirely without a struggle, Whether Catherine had spent her tears, or whether the grief were too weighty to let them flow, she sat there dry-eyed till the sun rose: she sat till noon, and would still have remained brood- ing over that deathbed, but I insisted on her coming away and taking some repose. It was well I succeeded in removing her; for at dinner-time appeared the lawyer, having called at Wuther- ing Heights to get his instructions how to behave. He had sold himself to Mr, Heathcliff: that was the cause of his delay in obeying my master’s summons. Fortunately, no thought of

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 253 worldly affairs crossed the latter's mind, to disturb him, after his daughter’s arrival. : Mr. Green took upon himself to order everything and every- body about the place. He gave all the servants, but me, notice to quit. He would have carried his delegated authority to the point of insisting that Edgar Linton should not be buried beside his wife, but in the chapel, with his family. There was the will, however, to hinder that, and my loud protestations against any infringement of its directions. The funeral was hurried over ; Catherine, Mrs. Linton Heathcliff now, was suffered to stay at the Grange till her father’s corpse had quitted it. She told me that her anguish had at last spurred Linton toincur the risk of liberating her. She heard the men I sent disputing at the door, and she gathered the sense of Heathcliff’s answer. It drove her desperate.

Linton, who had been conveyed up to the little parlour soon after I left, was terrified into fetching the key before his father re-ascended. He had the cunning to un- lock and re-lock the door, without shutting it; and when he should have gone to bed, he begged to sleep with Hareton, and his petition was granted for once. Catherine stole out before break of day. She dare not try the doors, lest the dogs should raise an alarm ; she visited the empty chambers and examined their windows ; and, luckily, lighting on her mother’s, she got easily out of its lattice, and on to the ground, by means of the fir-tree close by. Her accomplice suffered for his share in the escape, notwithstanding his timid contrivances. HH CHAPTER XXIX. THE evening after the funeral, my young lady and I were seated in the library ; now musing mournfully—one of us despairingly— on our loss, now venturing conjectures as to the gloomy future.

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We had just agreed the best destiny which could await Catherine, would be a permission to continue resident at the Grange; at least, during Linton’s life: he being allowed to join her there, and I to remain as housekeeper. That seemed rather too favourable an arrangement to be hoped for; and yet I did hope, and began to cheer up under the prospect of retaining my home and my employment, and, above all, my beloved young mistress ; when a servant—one of the discarded ones, not yet

• 254 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. departed—rushed hastily in, and said ‘‘ that devil Heathcliff” was coming through the court: should he fasten the door in his face? If we had been mad enough to order that proceeding, we had not time. He made no ceremony of knocking or announcing his name: he was master, and availed himself of the master’s privilege to walk straight in, without saying a word. Thesound of our informant’s voice directed him to the library: he entered, and motioning him out, shut the door. It was the same room into which he had been ushered, as a guest, eighteen years before: the same moon shone through the window ; and the same autumn landscape lay outside. We had not yet lighted a candle, but all the apartment was visible, even to the portraits on the wall: the splendid head of Mrs. Linton, and the graceful one ofherhusband. Heathcliffadvanced to the hearth, Time had little altered his person either.

‘There was the same man: his dark face rather sallower and more composed, his frame a stone or two heavier, perhaps, and no other differ- ence. Catherine had risen, with an impulse to dash out, when she saw him. “Stop!” he said, arresting her by the arm. ‘No more runnings away! Where would you go? I’m come to fetch you home ; and I hope you'll be a dutiful daughter, and not encour- age my son to further disobedience. I was embarrassed how to punish him when I discovered his part in the business: he’s such a cobweb, a pinch would annihilate him; but you'll see by his look that he has received his due! I brought him down one evening, the day before yesterday, and just set him ina chair, and never touched himafterwards. I sent Hareton out, and we had the room to ourselves.

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In two hours, I called Joseph to carry him up again; and since then my presence is as potent on his nerves asa ghost; and I fancy he sees me often, though Iam not near, Hareton says he wakes and shrieks in the night by the hour together, and calls you to protect him from me; and, whether you like your precious mate or not, you must come : he’s your concern now ; I yield all my interest in him to you.” “Why not let Catherine continue here?” I pleaded, ‘‘ and send Master Linton to her. As you hate them both, you'd not miss them: they caz only be a daily plague to your unnatural heart.” “‘T’'m seeking a tenant for the Grange,” he answered ; ‘‘and I want my children about me, to be sure. Besides, that lass owes me her services for her bread. I’m not going to nurture

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 255° her in luxury and idleness after Linton has gone. Make haste and get ready, now; and don’t oblige me to compel you.” “J shall,” said Catherine. ‘‘ Linton is all I have to love in the world, and though you have done what you could to make him hateful to me, and me to him, you caznot make us hate each other. And I defy you to hurt him when I am by, and I defy you to frighten me!” “You are a boastful champion,” replied Heathcliff; ‘but I don’t like you well enough to hurt him: you shall get the full benefit of the torment, as long as it lasts. It is not I who will make him hateful to you—it is his own sweet spirit. He's as bitter as gall at your desertion and its consequences: don’t expect thanks for this noble devotion. I heard him draw a pleasant picture to Zillah of what he would do if he were as strong as I: the inclination is there, and his very weakness will sharpen his wits to find a substitute for strength.”

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“‘T know he has a bad nature,” said Catherine: ‘he’s your son. But I’m glad I’ve a better, to forgive it ; and I know he loves me, and for that reason I love him. Mr. Heathcliff, you have zodody to love you; and, however miserable you make us, we shall still have the revenge of thinking that your cruelty arises from your greater misery. You @ré miserable, are you not? Lonely, like the devil, and envious like him? Vodody loves you —nobody will cry for you when you die! I wouldn’t be you!” Catherine spoke with a kind of dreary triumph: she seemed to have made up her mind to enter into the spirit of her future family, and draw pleasure from the griefs of her enemies. ‘You shall be sorry to be yourself presently,” said her father- in-law, ‘‘if you stand there another minute. Begone, witch, and get your things!” She scornfully withdrew.

In her absence, I began to beg for Zillah’s piace at the Heights, offering to resign mine to her; but he would suffer it on noaccount. He bid me be silent ; and then, for the first time, allowed himself a glance round the room anda look at the pictures. Having studied Mrs. Linton’s, he said— “‘T shall have that home. Not because I need it, but”——- He turned abruptly to the fire, and continued, with what, for lack of a. better word, I must call a, smile—‘‘I'll tell you what I did yesterday! I got the sexton, who was digging Linton’s grave, to remove the earth off her coffin-lid, and I opened it. I thought, once, I would have stayed there; when I saw her face again—it

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• 256 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. is hers yet !—he had hard work to stir me; but he said it would change if the air blew on it, and so I struck one side of the coffin loose, and covered it up: not Linton’s side, damn him! I wish he'd been soldered in lead. And I bribed the sexton to pull it away when I’m laid there, and slide mine out too ; I'll have it made so: and then, by the time Linton gets tc us he'll not know which is which !” “You were very wicked, Mr. Heathcliff!’’ I exclaimed, ‘*were you not ashamed to disturb the dead?” “«T disturbed nobody, Nelly,” he replied; ‘‘and I gave some ease to myself. I shall be a great deal more comfortable now ; and you'll have a better chance of keeping me underground, when I get there. Disturbed her? No! she has disturbed me, night and day, through eighteen years—incessantly—remorse- lessly—till yesternight ; and yesternight I was tranquil.

I dreamt I was sleeping the last sleep by that sleeper, with my heart stopped and my cheek frozen against hers.” «‘And if she had been dissolved into earth, or worse, what would you have dreamt of then?’’ I said. ‘‘Of dissolving with her, and being more happy still!’’ he answered. ‘‘Do you suppose I dread any change of that sort ? I expected such a transformation on raising the lid: but I’m better pleased that it should not commence till I share it. Besides, unless I had received a distinct impression of her passionless features, that strange feeling would hardly have been removed. It began oddly. You know I was wild after she died ; and eternally, from dawn to dawn, praying her to return to me her spirit! Ihave a strong faith in ghosts: I have a conviction that they can, and do, exist among us! The day she was buried there came a fall of snow. In the evening I went to the church- yard, It blew bleak as winter—all round was solitary.

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I didn’t fear that her fool of a husband would wander up the den so late ; and no one else had business to bring them there. Being alone, and conscious two yards of loose earth was the sole barrier between us, I said to myself—‘I’ll have her in my arms again! If she be cold, I’ll think it is this north wind that chills me, and if she be motionless, it is sleep.’ I got a spade from the tool- house, and began to delve with all my might—it scraped the coffin; I fell to work with my hands; the wood commenced cracking about the screws ; I was on the point of attaining my object, when it seemed that I heard a sigh from some one above,

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 257 close at the edge of the grave, and bending down. ‘If I can only get this off,’ I muttered, ‘I wish they may shovel in the earth over us both!’ and I wrenched at it more desperately still. There was another sigh, closeat my ear. I appeared to feel the warm breath of it displacing the sleet-laden wind. I knew no living thing in flesh and blood was by ; but, as certainly as you perceive the approach to some substantial body in the dark, though it cannot be discerned, so certainly I felt that Cathy was there: not under me, but on the earth. A sudden sense of relief flowed from my heart through every limb. I relinquished my labour of agony, and turned consoled at once: unspeakably consoled. Her presence was with me: it remained while I re- filled the grave, and led me home, You may laugh, if you will; but I was sure J should see her there. I was sure she was with me, and I could not help talking to her.

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Having reached the Heights, I rushed eagerly to the door, It was fastened; and, I remember, that accursed Earnshaw and my wife opposed my entrance. J remember stopping to kick the breath out of him, ayd then hurrying upstairs, to my room and hers. I looked round impatiently —I felt her by me—I could a/mos¢ see her, and yet I could not/ J ought to have sweat blood then, from the anguish of my yearning—from the fervour of my supplications to have but one glimpse! I had not one. She showed herself, as she often was in life, a devil to me! And, since then, some- times more and sometimes less, I’ve been the sport of that in- tolerable torture! Infernal! keeping my nerves at such a stretch, that, if they had not resembled catgut, they would long ago have relaxed to the feebleness of Linton’s. When I sat in the house with Hareton, it seemed that on going out, I should meet her ; when I walked on the moors I should meet her coming in.

When I went from home, I hastened to return: she mst be somewhere at the Heights, I was certain! And when I slept in her chamber—I was beaten out of that. I couldn't lie there; for the moment I closed my eyes, she was either outside the window, or sliding back the panels, or entering the room, or even resting her darling head on the same pillow as she did when a child; and I must open my lids to see. And so I opened and closed them a hundred times a night—to be always disappointed! It racked me! I've often groaned aloud, till that old rascal Joseph no doubt believed that my conscience was playing the fiend inside of me. Now, since I've seen her, I’m pacified—a little. I

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• 258 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. It was a strange way of killing! not by inches, but by fractions of hairbreadths, to beguile me with the spectre of a hope, through eighteen years!” Mr. Heathcliff paused and wiped his forehead ; his hair clung toit, wet with perspiration ; his eyes were fixed on the red embers of the fire, the brows not contracted, but raised next the temples ; diminishing the grim aspect of his countenance, but imparting a peculiar look of trouble, and a painful appearance of mental tension towards one absorbing subject. He only half addressed me, and I maintained silence. I didn’t like to hear him talk! After a short period he resumed his meditation on the picture, took it down and leant it against the sofa to contemplate it at better advantage; and while so occupied Catherine entered, announcing that she was ready, when her pony should be saddled.

“«Send that over to-morrow,” said Heathcliff to me; then turning to her, he added—‘‘ You may do without your pony: it is a fine evening, and you'll need no ponies at Wuthering Heights ; for what journeys you take, your own feet will serve you. Come along.” ‘Good-bye, Ellen!” whispered my dear little mistress. As she kissed me, her lips felt like ice. ‘‘Come and see me, Ellen ; don’t forget.” ‘Take care you do no such thing, Mrs. Dean !” said her new father. ‘‘ When I wish to speak to you I’ll come here. I want none of your prying at my house!” He signed her to precede him ; and casting back a look that cut my heart, she obeyed. J watched them from the window, walk down the garden. Heathcliff fixed Catherine’s arm under his: though she disputed the act at first evidently ; and with rapid strides he hurried her into the alley, whose trees concealed them. CHAPTER XXX.

I HAVE paid a visit to the Heights, but I have not seen her since she left : Joseph held the door in his hand when I called to ask after her, and wouldn’t let me pass. He said Mrs. Linton was ‘‘thrang,” and the master was notin. Zillah has told me some-

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 259: thing of the way they go on, otherwise I should hardly know who was dead and who living. She thinks Catherine haughty, and does not like her, I can guess by her talk. My young lady asked some aid of her when she first came; but Mr. Heathcliff told her to follow her own business, and let his daughter-in-law look after herself; and Zillah willingly acquiesced, being a narrow-minded selfish woman. Catherine evinced a child’s annoyance at this neglect ; repaid it with contempt, and thus enlisted my informant among her enemies, as securely as if she had done her some great wrong. J had a long talk with Zillah about six weeks ago, a little before you came, one day when we foregathered on the moor; and this is what she told me. “The first thing Mrs.

Linton did,” she said, ‘‘on her arrival at the Heights, was to run upstairs, without even wishing good evening to me and Joseph ; she shut herself into Linton’s room, and remained till morning. ‘hen, while the master and Earn- shaw were at breakfast, she entered the house, and asked all in a quiver if the doctor might be sent for? her cousin was very ill. “««We know that!’ answered Heathcliff; ‘but his life is not worth a farthing, and I won't spend a farthing on him.’ “««But I cannot tell how to do,’ she said; ‘and if nobody will help me, he'll die!’ “«« Walk out of the room,’ cried the master, ‘and let me never hear a word more about him! None here care what becomes of him; if you do, act the nurse; if you do not, lock him up and leave him.’ “Then she began to bother me, and I said I’d had enough plague with the tiresome thing ; we each had our tasks, and hers was to wait on Linton, Mr. Heathcliff bid me leave that labour to her.

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“How they managed together, I can’t tell. I fancy he fretted a great deal, and moaned hisseln night and day; and she had precious little rest: one could guess by her white face and heavy eyes. She sometimes came into the kitchen all wildered like, and looked as if she would fain beg assistance ; but I was not going to disobey the master: I never dare disobey him, Mrs. Dean ; and, though I thought it wrong that Kenneth should not be sent for, it was no concern of mine either to advise or complain, and I always refused to meddle. Once or twice, after we had gone to bed, I’ve happened to open my door again and seen her sitting crying on the stairs’ top; and then I’ve shut myself in

• 260 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. quick, for fear of being moved to interfere. I did pity her then, I’m sure: still I didn’t wish to lose my place, you know. “Atlast, one night she came boldly into my chamber, and frightened me out of my wits, by saying— «««Tell Mr. Heathcliff that his son is dying—I’m sure he is, this time. Get up, instantly, and tell him.’ “Having uttered this speech, she vanished again. I laya quarter of an hour listening and trembling. Nothing stirred— the house was quiet. ‘«She’s mistaken, I said tomyself. He’s gotoverit. I needn't disturb them; and I began to doze. But my sleep was marred a second time by a sharp ringing of the bell—the only bell we have, put up on purpose for Linton; and the master called to me to see what was the matter, and inform them that he wouldn’t have that noise repeated. ““T delivered Catherine’s message.

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He cursed to himself, and in a few minutes came out with a lighted candle, and proceeded to their room. I followed. Mrs. Heathcliff was seated by the bedside, with her hands folded on her knees. Her father-in-law went up, held the light to Linton’s face, looked at him, and touched him; afterwards he turned to her. “« Now—Catherine,’ he said, ‘how do you feel?’ «She was dumb, “« How do you feel, Catherine?’ he repeated. ‘« He’s safe, and I’m free,’ she answered: ‘I should feel well —but,’ she continued, with a bitterness she couldn’t conceal, ‘you have left me so long to struggle against death alone, that I feel and see only death! I feel like death !’ ‘ And she looked like it, too! Igaveheralittle wine. Hare- ton and Joseph, who had been wakened by the ringing and the sound of feet, and heard our talk from outside, now entered.

Joseph was fain, I believe, of the lad’s removal; Hareton seemed a thought bothered: though he was more taken up with staring at Catherine than thinking of Linton. But the master bid him get off to bed again: we didn’t want his help. He afterwards made Joseph remove the body to his chamber, and told me to return to mine, and Mrs. Heathcliff remained by herself. ‘In the morning, he sent me to tell her she must come down to breakfast: she had undressed, and appeared going to sleep, and said she was ill; at which I hardly wondered. I informed Mr. Heathcliff, and he replied—

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 261 **« Well, let her be till after the funeral ; and go up now and then to get her what is needful; and, as soon as she seems better, tell me.’”’ Cathy stayed upstairs a fortnight, according to Zillah ; who visited her twice a day, and would have been rather more friendly, but her attempts at increasing kindness were proudly and promptly repelled. Heathcliff went up once, to show her Linton’s will. He had bequeathed the whole of his, and what had been her, movable property to his father: the poor creature was threatened, or coaxed, into that act during her week’s absence, when his uncle died. The lands, being a minor, he could not meddle with. However, Mr.

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Heathcliff has claimed and kept them in his wife’s right and his also: I suppose legally: at any rate, Catherine, destitute of cash and friends, cannot disturb his posses- sion. ; ““Nobody,” said Zillah, ‘‘ever approached her door, except that once, but I; and nobody asked anything about her. The first occasion of her coming down into the house was on a Sunday afternoon. She had cried out, when I carried up her dinner, that she couldn’t bear any longer being in the cold: and I told her the master was going to Thrushcross Grange, and Earnshaw and I needn’t hinder her from descending ; so, as soon as she heard Heathcliff’s horse trot off, she made her appearance donned in black, and her yellow curls combed back behind her ears as plain as a Quaker: she couldn't comb them out. ‘‘ Joseph and I generally go to chapel on Sundays :”’ the kirk, you know, has no minister now, explained Mrs.

Dean ; and they call the Methodists’ or Baptists’ place (I can’t say which it is), at Gimmerton, achapel. ‘‘ Joseph had gone,” she continued, ‘‘ but I thought proper to bide at home. Young folks are always the better for an elder’s over-looking ; and Hareton, with all his bashfulness, isn’t a model of nice behaviour. I let him know that his cousin would very likely sit with us, and she had been always used to see the Sabbath respected ; so he had as good leave his guns and bits of indoor work alone, while she stayed. He coloured up at the news, and cast his eyes over his hands and clothes, The train-oil and gunpowder were shoved out of sight in a minute. I saw he meant to give her his company; and I guessed, by his way, he wanted to be presentable; so, laughing, as I durst not laugh when the master is by, I offered

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• 262 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. to help him, if he would, and joked at his confusion. He grew sullen, and began to swear, “Now, Mrs. Dean,” Zillah went on, seeing me not pleased by her manner, ‘‘ you happen think your young lady too fine for Mr. Hareton ; and happen you're right: but I own I should love well to bring her pride a peg lower. And what will all her learning and her daintiness do for her, now? She’s as poor as you or I: poorer I'll be bound: you're saving, and I’m doing my little all that road.” Hareton allowed Zillah to give him heraid ; and she flattered him into a good humour : so, when Catherine came, half forget- ting her former insults, he tried to make himself agreeable, by the housekeeper’s account. ‘‘Missis walked in,” she said, ‘‘as chill as an icicle, and as high as a princess. I got up and offered her my seat in the arm-chair.

No, she turned up her nose at my civility, Earn- shaw rose, too, and bid her come to the settle, and sit close by the fire: he was sure she was starved, ‘“««T’ve been starved a month and more,’ she answered, resting on the word as scornful as she could. «And she got a chair for herself, and placed it at a distance from both of us. Having sat till she was warm, she began to look round, and discovered a number of books in the dresser ; she was instantly upon her feet again, stretching to reach them: but they were too high up. Her cousin, after watching her endeavours a while, at last summoned courage to help her ; she held her frock, and he filled it with the first that came to hand. “That was a great advance for the lad.

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She didn’t thank him ; still, he felt gratified that she had accepted his assistance, and ventured to stand behind as she examined them, and even to stoop and point out what struck his fancy in certain old pic- tures which they contained ; nor was he daunted by the saucy style in which she jerked the page from his finger: he contented himself with going a bit farther back, and looking at her instead of the book. She continued reading, or seeking for something to read. His attention became, by degrees, quite centred in the study of her thick, silky curls :, her face he couldn't see, and she couldn’t see him. And, perhaps, not quite awake to what he did, but attracted like a child to a candle, at last he proceeded from staring to touching ; he put out his hand and stroked one

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 263 curl, as gently as if it were a bird. He might have stuck aknife into her neck, she started round in sucha taking. “*Get away, this moment! How dare youtouchme? Why are you stopping there?’ she cried, ina tone of disgust. ‘I can’t endure you! I'll go upstairs again, if you come near me.’ ‘« Mr. Hareton recoiled, looking as foolish as he could do: he sat down in the settle very quiet, and she continued turning over her volumes another half-hour; finally, Earnshaw crossed over, and whispered to me— “«« Will you ask her to read to us, Zillah? I'm stalled of doing naught ; and I do like—I could like to hearher! Dunnot say I wanted it, but ask of yourseln.’ “««Mr. Hareton wishes you would read to us, ma’am,’ I said immediately. ‘He'd take it very kind—he’d be much obliged.’

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“She frowned ; and looking up, answered— “« Mr, Hareton, and the whole set of you, will be good enough to understand that I reject any pretence at kindness you have the hypocrisy to offer! I despise you, and will have nothing to say to any of you! When'I would have given my life for one kind word, even to see one of your faces, you all kept off. But I won't complain to you! I’m driven down here by the cold ; not either to amuse you or enjoy your society.’ ‘«« What could I ha’ done?’ began Earnshaw. ‘How was I to blame?’ “‘«Oh! you are an exception,’ answered Mrs. Heathcliff. ‘I never missed such a concern as you.’ ‘«*« But I offered more than once, and asked,’ he said, kindling up at her pertness, ‘1 asked Mr, Heathcliff to let me wake for you’ “«Be silent! I'll go out of doors, or anywhere, rather than have your disagreeable voice in my ear!’ said my lady.

“« Hareton muttered she might go to hell, for him! and unsling- ‘ing his gun, restrained himself from his Sunday occupations no longer. He talked now, freely enough; and she presently saw fit to retreat to her solitude: but the frost had set in, and, in spite of her pride, she was forced to condescend to our company, more and more. However, I took care there should be no further scorning at my good-nature: ever since, I’ve been as stiff as herself; and she has no lover or liker among us: and she does not deserve one ; for, let them say the least word to her, and she’ll curl back without respect of any one! She'll snap at the

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• 264 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. master himself, and as good as dares him to thrash her; and the more hurt she gets, the more venomous she grows,” At first, on hearing this account from Zillah, I determined to leave my situation, take a cottage, and get Catherine to come and live with me: but Mr. Heathcliff would as soon permit that as he would set up Hareton in an independent house ; and I can see no remedy, at present, unless she could marry again: and that scheme it does not come within my province to arrange. Thus ended Mrs Dean’s story. Notwithstanding the doctor’s prophecy, I am rapidly recovering strength ; and though it be only the second week in January, I propose getting out on horseback in a day or two, and riding over to Wuthering Heights, to inform my landlord that I shall spend the next six months in London ; and, if he likes, he may look out for another tenant to take the place after October.

I would not pass another winter here for much, eget CHAPTER XXXI. YESTERDAY was bright, calm, and frosty. I went to the Heights as I proposed ; my housekeeper entreated me to bear a little note from her to her young lady, and I did not refuse, for the worthy woman was not conscious of anything odd in her request. The front door stood open, but the jealous gate was fastened, as at my last visit; I knocked, and invoked Earnshaw from among the garden beds ; he unchained it, andI entered. The fellow is as handsome a rustic as need be seen. I took particular notice of him this time ; but then he does his best, apparently, to make the least of his advantages. I asked if Mr. Heathcliff were at home? He answered, No; but he would be in at dinner-time.

It was eleven o'clock, and IT announced my intention of going in and waiting for him, at which he immediately flung down his tools and accompanied me, in the office of watchdog, not as a substitute for the host. We entered together ; Catherine was there, making herself useful in preparing some vegetables for the approaching meal ; she looked more sulky and less spirited than when I had-seen her first. She hardly raised her eyes to notice me, and continued her employment with the same disregard to common forms of

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 265 politeness as before ; never returning my bow and good-morning by the slightest acknowledgment. ‘She does not seem so amiable,” I thought, ‘‘as Mrs. Dean would persuade me to believe. She’s a beauty, it is true; but not an angel,” Earnshaw surlily bid her remove her things to the kitchen. “‘Remove them yourself,” she said, pushing them from her as soon as she had done; and retiring to a stool by the window, where she began to-carve figures of birds and beasts out of the turnip parings in her lap. I approached her, pretending to desire a view of the garden ; and, as J fancied, adroitly dropped Mrs. Dean’s note on to her knee, unnoticed by Hareton—but she asked aloud, ‘‘ What is that ?”’ and chucked it off. “‘A letter from your old acquaintance, the housekeeper at the Grange,” I answered ; annoyed at her exposing my kind deed, and fearful lest it should be imagined a missive of my own.

She would gladly have gathered it up at this information, but Hare- ton beat her; he seized and put it in his waistcoat, saying Mr. Heathcliff should look at it first. Thereat, Catherine silently turned her face from us, and, very stealthily, drew out her pocket- handkerchief and applied it to her eyes; and her cousin, after struggling a while to keep down his softer feelings, pulled out the letter and flung it on the floor beside her, as ungraciously as he could, Catherine caught and perused it eagerly ; then she put a few questions to me concerning the inmates, rational and irrational, of her former home; and gazing towards the hills, murmured in soliloqguy— ‘JT should like to be riding Minny down there! I should like to be climbing up there! Oh! I’m tired—I’m stalled, Hareton!”

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And she leant her pretty head back against the sill, with half a yawn and half a sigh, and lapsed into an aspect of abstracted sadness: neither caring nor knowing whether we remarked her. ‘«Mrs. Heathcliff,” I said, after sitting some time mute, ‘‘ you are not aware that I am an acquaintance of yours? so intimate that I think it strange you won’t come and speak to me. My housekeeper never wearies of talking about and praising you ; and she'll be greatly disappointed if I return with no news of or from you, except that you received her letter and said nothing!” She appeared to wonder at this speech, and asked— ‘* Does Ellen like you?”’ ‘Ves, very well,” I replied hesitatingly. 12

• 266 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. You must tell her,” she continued, ‘that I would answer her letter, but I have no materials for writing: not even a book from which I might tear a leaf.” No books!” I exclaimed. ‘‘ How do you contrive to live here without them ? if I may take the liberty to inquire. Though provided with a large library, I’m frequently very dull at the Grange ; take my books away, and I should be desperate!” “Twas always reading, when I had them,” said Catherine; ‘fand Mr. Heathcliff never reads ; so he took it into his head to destroy my books. I have not had a glimpse of one for weeks. Only once, I searched through Joseph’s store of theology, to his great irritation ; and once, Hareton, I came upon a secret stock in your room—some Latin and Greek, and some tales and poetry : all old friends. I brought the last here—and you gathered them, as a magpie gathers silver spoons, for the mere love of stealing !

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They are of no use to you; orelse you concealed them in the bad spirit that as you cannot enjoy them nobody else shall. Perhaps your envy counselled Mr. Heathcliff to rob me of my treasures ? But I’ve most of them written on my brain and printed in my heart, and you cannot deprive me of those!” Earnshaw blushed crimson when his cousin made this revela- tion of his private literary accumulations, and stammered an indignant denial of her accusations. “Mr. Hareton is desirous of increasing his amount of know- ledge,” I said, coming to his rescue. ‘‘ He is not exvious but emulous of your attainments, He'll be a clever scholar in a few years,” «« And he wants me to sink into a dunce, meantime,” answered Catherine. ‘‘ Yes, I hear him trying to spell and read to himself, and pretty blunders he makes! I wish you would repeat Chevy Chase as you did yesterday: it was extremely funny.

I heard you; and I heard you turning over the dictionary to seek out the hard words, and then cursing because you couldn’t read their explanations !” The young man evidently thought it too bad that he should be laughed at for his ignorance, and then laughed at for trying to remove it. I had a similar notion; and, remembering Mrs. Dean’s anecdote of his first attempt at enlightening the darkness in which he had been reared, I observed— “But, Mrs. Heathcliff, we have each hada commencement! and each stumbled and tottered on the threshold ; had our teachers

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 267 scorned instead of aiding us, we should stumble. and totter yet “‘Oh!” she replied, ‘‘I don’t wish to limit his acquirements : still, he has no right to appropriate what is mine, and make it ridiculous to me with his vile mistakes and mispronunciations ! Those books, both prose and verse, are consecrated tome by other associations ; and I hate to have them debased and profaned in his mouth! Besides, of all, he has selected my favourite pieces that I love the most to repeat, as if out of deliberate malice,” : Hareton’s chest heaved in silence a minute : he laboured under a severe sense of mortification and wrath, which it was no easy task tosuppress, Irose,and, froma gentlemanly idea of relieving his embarrassment, took up my station in the doorway, surveying theexternal prospect as I stood.

He followed my example, and left the room; but presently reappedred, bearing half-a-dozen volumes in his hands, which he threw into Catherine’s lap, ex- claiming— “«Take them! I never want to hear, or read, or think of them again!” “‘T won’t have them now,” she answered. ‘‘I shall connect them with you, and hate them,” She opened one that had obviously been often turned over, and read a portion in the drawling tone of a beginner ; then laughed, andthrewitfromher. ‘‘And listen,’ she continued provokingly, commencing a verse of an old ballad in the same fashicn. But his self-love would endure no further torment: I heard, and not altogether disapprovingly, a manual check given to her saucy tongue, The little wretch had done her utmost to hurt her cousin’s sensitive though uncultivated feelings, and a physical argument was the only mode he had of balancing the account, and repaying its effects on the inflictor.

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He afterwards gathered the books and hurled them on the fire. I read in his countenance what anguish it was to offer that sacrifice to spleen. I fancied that as they consumed, he recalled the pleasure-they had already imparted, and the triumph and ever-increasing pleasure he had anticipated from them; and I fancied I guessed the incitement to his secret studies also. He had been content with daily labour and rough animal enjoyments, till Catherine crossed his path, Shame at her scorn, and hope of her approyal, were his first ‘prompters to higher pursuits; and, instead of guarding him from

• 268 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. one and winning him to the other, his endeavours to raise him- self had produced just the contrary result. “Yes; that's all the good that sucha brute as youcan get from them!" cried Catherine, sucking her damaged lip, and watching the conflagration with indignant eyes. “You'd better hold your tongue, now,” he answered fiercely. And his agitation precluded further speech; he advanced hastily to the entrance, where I made way for him to pass. But ere he had crossed the door-stones, Mr. Heathcliff, coming up the causeway, encountered him, and laying hold of his shoulder asked— “What's to do now, my lad?” “‘Naught, naught,” he said, and broke away to enjoy his grief and anger in solitude, Heathcliff gazed after him, and sighed. «Tt will be odd if I thwart myself,” he muttered, unconscious that I was behind him, ‘‘ But when I look for his father in his face, I find her every day more! How the devil is he so like?

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I can hardly bear to see him.” He bent his eyes to the ground, and walked moodily in. There was a restless, anxious expression in his countenance I had never remarked there before ; and he looked sparer in person. His daughter-in-law, on perceiving him through the window, im- mediately escaped to the kitchen, so that I remained alone. “I'm glad to see you out of doors again, Mr. Lockwood,” he said, in reply to my greeting ; ‘‘from selfish motives partly: I don’t think I could readily supply your loss in this desolation. I’ve wondered more than once what brought you here.” “An idle whim, I fear, sir,” was my answer; ‘‘or else an idle whim is going to spirit me away. I shall set out for London, next week ; and I must give you warning that I feel no disposi- tion to retain Thrushcross Grange beyond the twelve months I agreed to rent it. I believe I shall not live there any more.”

“Oh, indeed ; you’re tired of being banished from the world, are you?” he said. ‘‘ But if you be coming to plead off paying for a place you won't occupy, your journey is useless: I never relent in exacting my due from any one.” “I’m coming to plead off nothing about it,” I exclaimed, considerably irritated. ‘‘Should you wish it, I'll settle with you now,” and I drew my note-book from my pocket. ‘“No, no,” he replied coolly ; ‘‘ you'll leave sufficient behind

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS, 269 to cover your debts, if you fail to return: I’m notin such a hurry. Sit down and take your dinner with us; a guest that is safe from repeating his visit can generally be made welcome. Catherine, bring the things in: where are you?” Catherine reappeared, bearing a tray of knives and forks. «You may get your dinner with Joseph,” muttered Heathcliff aside, ‘‘and remain in the kitchen till he is gone.” She obeyed his directions very punctually: perhaps she had no temptation to transgress. Living among clowns and mis- anthropists, she probably cannot appreciate a better class of people when she meets them. With Mr. Heathcliff, grim and saturnine, on the one hand, and Hareton, absolutely dumb, on the other, I made a some- what cheerless meal, and bade adieu early.

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I would have de- parted by the back way, to get a last glimpse of Catherine and annoy old Joseph; but Hareton received orders to lead up my horse, and my host himself escorted me to the door, so I could not fulfil my wish. “« How dreary life gets over in that house!” I reflected, while riding down the road, ‘‘ What a realisation of something more romantic than a fairy tale it would have been for Mrs. Linton Heathcliff, had she and I struck up an attachment, as her good nurse desired, and migrated together into the stirring atmos- phere of the town!” —+4+-— CHAPTER XXXII. 1802.—This September I was invited to devastate the moors of a friend in the north, and on my journey to his abode, I unex- pectedly came within fifteen miles of Gimmerton. The ostler at a roadside public-house was holding a pail of water to refresh my horses, when a cart of very green oats, newly reaped, passed by, and he remarked— ““Yon's frough Gimmerton, nah!

They’re allas three wick after other folk wi’ ther harvest.” “‘Gimmerton?” I repeated—my residence in that locality had already grown dim and dreamy. ‘‘Ah! I know. How far is it from this?” “Happen fourteen mile o’er th’ hills; and a rough road,” he answered,

• 270 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. A sudden impulse seized me to visit Thrushcross Grange. It was scarcely noon, and I conceived that I might as well pass the night under my own roof as in an inn, Besides, I could spare a day easily to arrange matters with my landlord, and thus save myself the trouble of invading the neighbourhood again. Having rested a while, I directed my servant to inquire the way to the village; and, with great fatigue to our beasts, we managed the distance in some three hours. T left him there, and proceeded down the valley alone. The grey church looked greyer, and the lonely churchyard lonelier. I distinguished a moor sheep cropping the short turf on the graves. It was sweet, warm weather—too warm for travelling ; but the heat did not hinder me from enjoying the delightful scenery above and below: had I seen it nearer August, I’m sure it would have tempted me to waste a month among its solitudes.

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In winter nothing more dreary, in summer nothing more divine, than those glens shut in by hills, and those bluff, bold swells of heath. I reached the Grange before sunset, and knocked for admit- tance; but the family had retreated into the back premises, I judged, by one thin, blue wreath curling from the kitchen chimney, and they did not hear. LIrode into thecourt. Under the porch, a girl of nine or ten sat knitting, and an old woman reclined on the house-steps, smoking a meditative pipe. “‘Is Mrs. Dean within?” I demanded of the dame. ““Mistress Dean? Nay!" she answered, ‘‘ shoo doesn’t bide here : shoo’s up at th’ Heights.” “Are you the housekeeper, then ?” I continued. “«Kea, aw keep th’ hause,” she replied. “Well, I'm Mr. Lockwood, the master. Are there any rooms to lodge me in, I wonder? I wish to stay all night.” «“T" maister!’' she cried in astonishment. ‘‘ Whet, whoiver knew yah wur coming? Yah sud ha’ send word.

‘They’s nowt norther dry nor mensful abaht t’ place: nowt there isn’t!" She threw down her pipe and bustled in, the girl followed, and J entered too; soon perceiving that her report was true, and, moreover, that I had almost upset her wits by my unwel- come apparition, I bade her be composed. I would go out for a walk; and, meantime, she must try to prepare a corner of a sitting-room for me to sup in, and a bedroom to sleep in. No sweeping and dusting, only good fire and dry sheets were

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WUTHERING : HEIGHTS. 271 necessary. She seemed willing to do her best; though she thrust the hearth-brush into the grates in mistake for the poker, and mal-appropriated several other articles of her craft: but I retired, confiding in her energy for a resting-place against my return. Wuthering Heights was the goal of my proposed excursion. An after-thought brought me back, when I had quitted the court. ‘* All well at the Heights ?” I inquired of the woman. ‘‘ Kea, fr owt ee-knaw !”’ she answered, skurrying away with a pan of hot cinders. I would have asked why Mrs. Dean had deserted the Grange, but it was impossible to delay her at such a crisis, so 1 turned away and made my exit, rambling leisurely along with the glow of a sinking sun behind, and the mild glory ofa rising moon in front—one fading, and the other brightening—as I quitted the park, and climbed the stony by-road branching off to Mr. Heathcliff’s dwelling.

Before I arrived in sight of it, all that remained of day was a beamless amber light along the west : but I could see every pebble on the path, and every blade of grass, by that splendid moon. [I had neither to climb the gate nor to knock—it yielded to my hand. ‘That is an improvement, I thought. And I noticed another, by the aid of my nostrils ; a fragrance of stocks and wallflowers wafted on the air from amongst the homely fruit-trees, Both doors and lattices were open; and yet, as is usually the case in a coal district, a fine, red fire illumined the chimney : the comfort which the eye derives from it renders the extra heat endurable. But the house of Wuthering Heights is so large, that the inmates have plenty of space for withdrawing out of its influence; and accordingly, what inmates there were had stationed themselves not far from one of the windows.

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I could both see them and hear them talk before’I entered, and looked and listened in consequence ; being moved thereto by a mingled sense of curiosity and envy, that grew as I lingered. “Con-trary /"’ said a voice as sweet as a silver bell—‘‘ That for the third time, you dunce! I’m not going to tell you again. Recollect, or I'll pull your hair!” “Contrary, then,” answered another, in deep but softened tones, ‘‘And now, kiss me, for minding so well.” ‘‘No, read it over first correctly, without a single mistake,” The male speaker began to read: he was a young man, re-

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Qie WUTHERING HEIGHTS. spectably dressed and seated at a table, having a book before him. His handsome features glowed with pleasure, and his eyes kept impatiently wandering from the page to a small white hand over his shoulder, which recalled him by a smart slap on the cheek, whenever its owner detected such signs of inattention. Its owner stood behind; her light, shining ringlets blending, at intervals, with his brown locks, as she bent to superintend his studies ; and her face—it was lucky he could not see her face, or he would never have been so steady. I could; and I bit my lip in spite, at having thrown away the chance I might have had of doing something besides staring at its smiting beauty. The task was done, not free from further blunders; but the pupil claimed a reward, and received at least five kisses: which, however, he generously returned.

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Then they came to the door, and from their conversation I judged they were about to issue out and have a walk on the moors. I supposed I should be condemned in Hareton Earnshaw’s heart, if not by his mouth, to the lowest pit in the infernal regions, if I showed my un- fortunate person in his neighbourhood then; and feeling very mean and malignant, I skulked round to seek refuge in the kitchen. There was unobstructed admittance on that side also, and at the door sat my old friend Nelly Dean, sewing and singing asong; which was often interrupted from within by harsh words of scorn and intolerance, uttered in far from musical accents. “T’d rayther, by th’ haulf, hev ’em swearing i’ my lugs fro’h _ morn to neeght, nor hearken ye, hahsiver!’’ said the tenant of the kitchen, in answer to an unheard speech of Nelly's.

‘“‘It’sa blazing shame, that I cannot oppen t’ blessed Book, but yah set up them glories to Sattan, and all t’ flaysome wickednesses that iver were born into th’ warld! Oh! ye’er a raight nowt; and shoo’s another; and that poor lad’ll be lost atween ye. Poor lad!” he added, with a groan; ‘‘he’s witched: I’m sartin on't ! O Lord, judge ’em, for there’s norther law nor justice among wer rullers !”” ““No! or we should be sitting in flaming fagots, I suppose,” retorted the singer. ‘‘ But wisht, old man, and read your Bible like a Christian, and never mind me, This is ‘ Fairy Annie's Wedding ’—a bonny tune—it goes to a dance,” Mrs. Dean was about to recommence, when I advanced ; and recognising me directly, she jumped to her feet, crying — ‘‘Why, bless you, Mr. Lockwood! How could you think of

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 273 . returning in this way? All’s shut up at Thrushcross Grange, You should have given us notice!” : ‘“‘T’ve arranged to be accommodated there, for as long as I shall stay,” I answered. ‘‘I depart again to-morrow. And how are you transplanted here, Mrs. Dean? tell me that.” “Zillah left, and Mr. Heathcliff wished me to come, soon after you went to London, and stay till you returned. But, step in, pray! Have you walked from Gimmerton this evening ?”’ ‘From the Grange,” I replied; ‘‘and while they make me lodging room there, I want to finish my business with your master ; because I don’t think of having another opportunity in a hurry.” “What business, sir?” said Nelly, conducting me into the house. ‘‘ He’s gone out at present, and won't return soon.” « About the rent,” I answered. “Oh! then it is with Mrs. Heathcliff you must settle,” she observed ; ‘‘or rather with me.

She has not learnt to manage her affairs yet, and I act for her: there’s nobody else.”’ I looked surprised. ‘« Ah! you have not heard of Heathcliff’s death, I see,” she continued. ‘Heathcliff dead!” I exclaimed, astonished. ‘‘ How long ago?” ‘“Three months since: but sit down and let me take your hat, and I'll tell youallaboutit. Stop, you have had nothing to eat, have you?” ‘‘T want nothing: I have ordered supper at home. You sit down too, I never dreamt of his dying! Let me hear how it came to pass, You say you don’t expect them back for some time—the young people?” ‘‘No—lI have to scold them every evening for their late rambles : but they don’t care for me. At least have a drink of our old ale; it will do you good: you seem weary.” She hastened to fetch it before I could refuse, and I heard Joseph asking whether ‘‘ it warn’t a cryingscandal that she should have followers at her time of life?

And then, to get them jocks out o’ t’ maister’s cellar! He fair shaamed to ’bide still and see it.” . She did not stay to retaliate, but re-entered in a minute, bearing a reaming silver pint, whose contents I lauded with be- ‘coming earnestness. And afterwards she furnished me with the

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• 274. WUTHERING HEIGHTS. sequel of Heathcliff’s history. He had a ‘‘ queer” end, as she expressed it. I was summoned to Wuthering Heights, within a fortnight of your leaving us, she said; and I obeyed joyfully, for Catherine's sake. My first interview with her grieved and shocked me: she had altered so much since our separation. Mr. Heathcliff did not explain his reasons for taking a new mind about my coming here ; he only told me he wanted me, and he was tired of seeing Catherine: I must make the little parlour my sitting-room, and keep her with me. It was enough if he were obliged to see her once or twice a day. She seemed pleased at this arrangement ; and, by degrees, I smuggled over a great number of books, and other articles, that had formed her amusement at the Grange ; and flattered myself we should get on in tolerable comfort. The delusion did not last long.

Catherine, contented at first, ina brief space grew irritable and restless. For one thing, she was forbidden to move out of the garden, and it fretted her sadly to be confined to its narrow bounds as spring drew on ; for another, in following the house, I was forced to quit her frequently, and she complained of loneliness: she preferred quarrelling with Joseph in the kitchen to sitting at peace in her solitude. I did not mind their skirmishes: but Hareton was often obliged to seek the kitchen also, when the master wanted to have the house to himself; and though in the beginning she either left it at his approach, or quietly joined in my occupations, and shunned re- marking or addressing him—and though he was always as sullen and silent as possible—after a while she changed her behaviour, and became incapable of letting him alone: talking at him ; commenting on his stupidity and idleness; expressing her wonder how he could endure the life he lived—how he could sit a whole evening staring into the fire and dozing. : ‘He's just like a dog, is he not, Ellen?” she once observed, “‘or a cart-horse?

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He does his work, eats his food, and sleeps eternally! What a blank, dreary mind he must have! Do you ever dream, Hareton?- And, if you do, what is it about? But you can’t speak to me!”’ Then she looked at him; but he would neither open his mouth nor look again. ‘‘ He's, perhaps, dreaming now,” she continued. ‘‘ He twitched his shoulder as Juno twitches hers. Ask him, Ellen,” ‘‘Mr. Hareton will ask the master to send you upstairs, if you

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS, 275 don’t behave !"’ I said. He had not only twitched his shoulder but clenched his fist, as if tempted to use it. ‘«T know why Hareton never speaks, when Iam in the kitchen,” she exclaimed, on another occasion. ‘‘ He is afraid I shall laugh at him. Ellen, what do you think. He began to teach himself to read once ; and because I laughed, he burned his books, and dropped it: was he not a fool?” ‘‘ Were not you naughty?” I said; ‘‘answer me that.” ‘« Perhaps I was,” she went on; ‘‘ but I did not expect him to be so silly. Hareton, if I gave you a book, would you take it now? I'lltry!” She placed one she had been perusing on his hand; he flung it off, and muttered, if she did not give over, he would break her neck, : “Well, I shall put it here,” she said, ‘‘in the table drawer ; and I’m going to bed.” : Then she whispered me to watch whether he touched it, and departed.

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But he would not come near it ; and so I informed her in the morning, to her great disappointment. I saw she was sorry for his persevering sulkiness and indolence : her conscience reproved her for frightening him off improving himself: she had done it effectually. But her ingenuity was at work to remedy the injury : while I ironed, or pursued other such stationary employ- ments as I could not well do in the parlour, she would bring some pleasant volume and read it aloud tome, When Hareton was there, she generally paused in an interesting part, and left the booklying about: that she did repeatedly; but he was as obstinate as a mule, and, instead of snatching at her bait, in wet weather he took to smoking with Joseph ; and they sat like automatons, one on each side of the fire, the elder happily too deaf to under- stand her wicked nonsense, as he would have called it, the younger doing his best to seem to disregard it.

On fine evenings the latter followed his shooting expeditions, and Catherine yawned and sighed, and teased me to talk to her, and ran off into the court or garden, the moment I began; and, asa last resource, cried, and said she was tired of living: her life was useless. Mr, Heathcliff, who grew more and more disinclined to society, had almost banished Earnshaw from his apartment. Owing to an accident at the commencement of March, he became for some days a fixture in the kitchen. His gun burst while out on the hills by himself ; a splinter cut his arm, and he lost a good deal

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• 276 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. of blood before he could reach home. The consequence was that, perforce, he was condemned to the fireside and tranquillity, till he made it up again, It suited Catherine to have him there: at any rate, it made her hate her room upstairs more than ever: and she would compel me to find out business below, that she might accompany me. On Easter Monday, Joseph went to Gimmerton fair with some cattle: and, in the afternoon, I was busy getting up linen in the kitchen. Earnshaw sat, morose as usual, at the chimney-corner, and my little mistress was beguiling an idle hour with drawing pictures on the window panes; varying her amusement by smothered bursts of songs, and whispered ejaculations, and quick glances of annoyance and impatience in the direction of her cousin, who steadfastly smoked, and looked into the grate. At a notice that I could do with her no longer intercepting my light, she removed to the hearthstone.

I bestowed little attention on her proceedings, but, presently, I heard her begin— ‘‘T’ve found out, Hareton, that I want—that I’m glad—that I should like you to be my cousin now, if you had not grown so cross to me, and so rough.” Hareton returned no answer, ‘« Hareton, Hareton, Hareton! do you hear?” she continued. ‘‘ Get off wi’ ye!” he growled, with uncompromising gruffness. ‘“Let me take that pipe,” she said, cautiously advancing her hand and abstracting it from his mouth. Before he could attempt to recover it, it was broken, and behind the fire. He swore at her and seized another. “Stop,” she cried, ‘‘ you must listen to me first ; and I can’t speak while those clouds are floating in my face.” ‘« Will you go to the devil!”’ he exclaimed ferociously, ‘‘ and let me be!” ‘“No,” she persisted, ‘‘I won’t: I can’t tell what to do to make you talk to me; and you are determined not to under- stand.

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When I call you stupid, I don’t mean anything: I don’t mean that I despise you. Come, you shall take notice of me, Hareton! you are my cousin, and you shall own me.” ‘‘T shall have naught to do wi’ you and your mucky pride, and your damned mocking tricks!” he answered. ‘‘I’ll go to hell, body and soul, before I look sideways after youagain, Side out o' t’ gate, now; this minute!” Catherine frowned, and retreated to the window-seat chewing

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 277 her lip, and endeavouring, by humming an eccentric tune, to conceal a growing tendency to sob. : ““You should be friends with your cousin, Mr. Hareton,” I interrupted, ‘‘since she repents of her sauciness. It would do you a great deal of good: it would make you another man to. have her for a companion.” ‘‘A companion !”’ he cried ; ‘‘ when she hates me, and does not think me fit to wipe her shoon! Nay! if it made mea king, I'd not be scorned for seeking her good-will any more.” “Tt is not I who hate you, it is you who hate me!” wept Cathy, no longer disguising her trouble. ‘‘ You hate me as’ much as Mr, Heathcliff does, and more.” “You're a damned liar,” began Earnshaw: ‘‘ why have I made him angry, by taking your part, then, a hundred times? and that when you sneered at and despised me, and—Go on plaguing me, and I'll step in yonder, and say you worried me out of the kitchen!”

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“‘T didn’t know you tock my part,” she answered, drying her eyes ; ‘‘and I was miserable and bitter at everybody ; but now 1 thank you, and beg you to forgive me: what can I do besides?” She returned to the hearth, and frankly extended her hand. He blackened and scowled like a thunder-cloud, and kept his fists resolutely clenched, and his gaze fixed on the ground. Catherine, by instinct, must have divined it was obdurate per- versity, and not dislike, that prompted this dogged conduct ; for, after remaining an instant undecided, she stooped and impressed on his cheek a gentle kiss. The little rogue thought I had not seen her, and, drawing back, she took her former station by the window, quite demurely, J shook my head reprovingly, and then she blushed and whispered— ‘«Well! what should I have done, Ellen? He wouldn't shake hands, and he wouldn’t look: I must show him some way that I like him—that I want to be friends.”

Whether the kiss convinced Hareton, I eannot tell: he was very careful, for some minutes, that his face should not be seen, and when he did raise it, he was sadly puzzled where to turn his eyes. Catherine employed herself in wrapping a handsome book neatiy in white paper, and haying tied it with a bit of ribbon, and addressed it to ‘‘Mr. Hareton Earnshaw," she desired meto beher ambassadress, and convey the present to its destined recipient.

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• 278 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. «And tell him, if he’ll take it I'll come and teach him to read’ it right,” she said; ‘and, if he refuse it, Tll go upstairs, and never tease him again.” I carried it, and repeated the message ; anxiously watched by my employer. Hareton would not open his fingers, so I laid it on his knee. He did not strike it off, either. I returned to my work, Catherine leaned her head and arms on the table, till she heard the slight rustle of the covering being removed ; then she stole away, and quietly seated herself beside her cousin. He trembled, and his face glowed : all his rudeness and all his surly harshness had deserted him: he could not summon courage, at first, to utter a syllable in reply to her questioning look, and her murmured petition. “Say you forgive me, Hareton, do? You can make me so happy by speaking that little word.” He muttered something inaudible.

«« And you'll be my friend?” added Catherine interrogatively. “Nay, you'll be ashamed of me every day of your life,’”’ he answered ; ‘‘and the more ashamed, the more you know mej; and I cannot bide it.” “‘So you won't be my friend?” she said, smiling as sweet as honey, and creeping close up. I overheard no further distinguishable talk, but, on looking round again, I perceived two such radiant countenances bent over the page of the accepted book, that I did not doubt the treaty had been ratified on both sides; and the enemies were, thenceforth, sworn allies. The work they studied was full of costly pictures; and those and their position had charm enough to keep them unmoved till Joseph came home.

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He, poor man, was perfectly aghast at the spectacle of Catherine seated on the same bench with Hareton Earnshaw, leaning her hand on his shoulder; and confounded at his favourite’s endurance of her proximity: it affected him too deeply to allow an observation on the subject that night. His emotion was only revealed by the immense sighs he drew, as he solemnly spread his large Bible on the table, and overlaid it with dirty bank-notes from his pocket-book, the produce of the day’s transactions. At length, he summoned Hareton from his seat. “«Tak’ these in to t’ maister, lad,” he said, ‘‘ and bide there, I’s gang up to my own rahm. This hoile’s neither mensful nor seemly for us: we mun side out and seearch another.”

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 279 “Come, Catherine,” I said, ‘‘ we must ‘side out* too; I’ve done my ironing, are you ready to go?” p ““It is not eight o’clock!” she answered, rising unwillingly. ‘« Hareton, I'll leave this book upon the chimney-piece, and I'll bring some more to-morrow.” ““Ony books that yah leave, I shall tak’ into th’ hahse,” said Joseph, ‘‘and it'll be mitch if yah find em agean ; soa, yah may plase yerseln !” Cathy threatened that his library should pay for hers; and, smiling as she passed Hareton, went singing upstairs: lighter of heart, I venture to say, than ever she had been under that roof before; except, perhaps, during her earliest visits to Linton. The intimacy thus commenced, grew rapidly ; though it en- countered temporary interruptions.

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Earnshaw was not to be civilised with a wish, and my young lady was no philosopher, and no paragon of patience ; but both their minds tending to the same point—one loving and desiring to esteem, and the other loving and desiring to be esteemed—they contrived in the end to reach it, You see, Mr. Lockwood, it was easy enough to win Mrs, Heathcliff’s heart. But now, I’m glad you did not try. The crown of all my wishes will be the union of those two, I shall envy no one on their wedding-day: there won't be a happier woman than myself in England! Ht CHAPTER XXXIII, ON the morrow of that Monday, Earnshaw being still unable to follow his ordinary employments, and therefore remaining about the house, I speedily found it would be impracticable to retain my charge beside me, as heretofore.

She got downstairs before me, and out into the garden, where she had seen her cousin performing some easy work; and when I went to bid them come to breakfast, I saw she had persuaded him to clear a large space of ground from currant and gooseberry bushes, and they were busy planning together an importation of plants from the Grange. I was terrified at.the devastation which had been accomplished in a brief half-hour; the black currant trees were the apple of Joseph’s eye, and she had just fixed her choice of a flower-bed in the midst of them.

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• 280 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. - “There! That will be all shown to the master,” I exclaimed, ‘the minute it is discovered. And what excuse have you to offer for taking such liberties with the garden? We shall have a fine explosion on the head of it: see if we don’t! Mr. Hareton, I wonder you should have no more wit, than to go and make that mess at her bidding!” ‘I'd forgotten they were Joseph’s,” answered Earnshaw, rather puzzled ; ‘‘ but I'll tell him I did it.” We always ate our meals with Mr. Heathcliff. I held the mistress s post in making tea and carving; so I was indispensable at table. Catherine usually sat by me, but to-day she stole nearer to Hareton ; and I presently saw she would have no more discretion in her friendship than she had in her hostility. ‘« Now, mind you don’t talk with and notice your cousin too much,” were my whispered instructions as we entered the room. “Tt will certainly annoy Mr.

Heathcliff, and he'll be mad at you both,” “‘T’m not going to,” she answered. The minute after, she had sidled to him, and was sticking primroses in his plate of porridge. He dared not speak to her there: he dared hardly look ; and yet she went on teasing, till he was twice on the point of being provoked to laugh. I frowned, and then she glanced toward the master: whose mind was occupied on other subjects than his company, as his countenance evinced ; and she grew serious for an instant, scrutinising him with deep gravity. Afterwards she turned, and recommenced her nonsense; at last, Hareton uttered a smothered laugh. Mr. Heathcliff started; his eye rapidly surveyed our faces. Catherine met it with her accustomed look of nervousness and yet defiance, which he abhorred. “Tt is well you are out of my reach,’ he exclaimed. ‘‘ What fiend possesses you to stare back at me, continually, with those infernal eyes?

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Down with them! and don’t remind me of your existence again. I thought I had cured you of laughing.” “Tt was me,” muttered Hareton. ““What do you say?” demanded the master. Hareton looked at his plate, and did not repeat the confession. Mr. Heathcliff looked at him a bit, and then silently resumed his breakfast and his interrupted musing. We had nearly finished, and the two young people prudently shifted wider asunder, so I anticipated no further disturbance during that

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 201 sitting: when Joseph appeared at the door, revealing by his quivering lip and furious eyes, that the outrage committed on his precious shrubs was detected. He must have seen Cathy and her cousin about the spot before he examined it, for while his jaws worked like those of a cow chewing its cud, and rendered his speech difficult to understand, he began— “‘T mun hev my wage, and I mun goa! I ed aimed to dee, wheare I’d sarved fur sixty year ; and I thowt I'd lug my books up into t’ garret, and all my bits o’ stuff, and they sud hev t’ kitchen to theirseln; for t’ sake o’ quietness. It wur hard to gie up my awn hearthstun, but I thowt I cou/d do that! But, nah, shoo’s taan my garden fro’ me, and by th’ heart, maister, I cannot stand it! Yah may bend to th’ yoak, and ye will—I noan used to ’t, and an old man doesn’t sooin get used to new barthens.

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I'd rayther arn my bite an’ my sup wi’ a hammer in th’ road!” : ““Now, now, idiot!” interrupted Heathcliff, ‘‘cut it short! What’s your grievance? I'll interfere in no quarrels between you and Nelly. She may thrust you into the coal-hole for any- thing I care,” “Tt’s noan Nelly!” answered Joseph. ‘‘I sudn’t shift for Nelly—nasty ill nowt as shoois. Thank God! shoo cannot stale t’ sowl o’ nob’dy! Shoo wer niver soa handsome, but what a body mud look at her "bout winking. It’s yon flaysome, grace- less quean, that’s witched our lad, wi’ her bold een and her forrard ways—till—Nay! it fair brusts my heart! He’s for- gotten all I’ve done for him, and made on him, and goan and riven up a whole row o’ t’ grandest currant trees, i’ t’ garden!” And here he lamented outright ; unmanned by a sense of his bitter injuries, and Earnshaw’s ingratitude and dangerous condition. “Ts the fool drunk? ” asked Mr. Heathcliff.

‘‘ Hareton, is it you he’s finding fault with?” “T’ve pulled up two or three bushes,” replied the young man; ‘‘but I’m going to set ‘em again.” ‘© And why have you pulled them up?” said the master, Catherine wisely put in her tongue. “We wanted to plant some flowers there,” she cried. ‘‘I’m the only person to blame, for I wished him to do it.” ‘« And who the devil gave you leave to touch a stick about the place?” demanded her father-in-law, much surprised, ‘‘ And who ordered you to obey her?” he added, turning to Hareton,

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• 282 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. The latter was speechless ; his cousin replied— “‘You shouldn’t grudge a few.yards of earth for me to ornament, when you have taken all my land!” “Your land, insolent slut! You never had any,” said Heath- cliff. “And my money,” she continued; returning his angry glare, and meantime biting a piece of crust, the remnantof her breakfast. “«Silence!”’ he exclaimed. ‘‘Get done, and begone!” “‘ And Hareton’s land, and his money,” pursued the reckless thing. ‘‘Hareton and I are friends now; and I shall tell him all about you!” The master seemed confounded a moment: he grew pale, and rose up, eyeing her all the while, with an expression of mortal hate. ‘If you strike me, Hareton will strike you,” she said; ‘‘so you may as well sit down.” ‘If Hareton does not turn you out of the room, I'll strike him to hell,” thundered Heathcliff. ‘‘ Damnable witch! dare you pretend to rouse him against me? Offwith her! Do you hear?

Fling her into the kitchen! I'll kill her, en Dean, if you let her come into my sight again!” Hareton tried, under his breath, to persuade her to go. “Drag her away!” he cried savagely. ‘‘ Are you staying to talk?’’ And he approached to execute his own command. ‘« He'll not obey you, wicked man, any more,” said Catherine ; ‘‘and he'll soon detest you as much as I do,” ‘‘Wisht ! wisht !’’ muttered the young man reproachfully. ‘‘I will not hear you speak so to him. Have done.” ‘But you won't let him strike me?” she cried. “Come, then,” he whispered earnestly. It was too late: Heathcliff had caught hold of her. ‘“Now, you go!” he said to Earnshaw. ‘‘ Accursed witch ! this time she has provoked me when I could not bear it; and I'll make her repent it for ever !” He had his hand in her hair ; Hareton attempted to release her locks, entreating him not to hurt her that once.

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Heathcliff’s black eyes flashed ; he seemed ready to tear Catherine in pieces, and I was just worked up to risk coming to the rescue, when of a sudden his fingers relaxed ; he shifted his grasp from her head to her arm, and gazed intently in her face. Then he drew his hand over her eyes, stood a moment to collect himselfapparently, and turning anew to Catherine, said with assumed calmness—

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 283 “You must learn to avoid putting me in a passion, or I shall really murder you some time! Go with Mrs, Dean, and keep with her; and confine your insolence to her ears. As to Hareton Earnshaw, if I see him listen to you, I'll send him seeking his bread where he can get it! Your love will make him an outcast and a beggar. Nelly, take her; and leave me, allof you! Leave me!” I led my young lady out: she was too glad of her escape to resist ; the other followed, and Mr. Heathcliff had the room to himself till dinner, I had counselled Catherine to dine upstairs ; but, as soon as he perceived her vacant seat, he sent me to call her. He spoke to none of us, ate very little, and went out directly afterwards, intimating that he should not return before evening.

The two new friends established.themselves in the house during his absence ; when I heard Hareton sternly check his cousin, on. her offering a revelation of her father-In-law’s conduct to his father. He said he wouldn’t suffer a word to be uttered in his disparagement: if he were the devil, it didn’t signify ; he would stand by him ; and he’d rather she would abuse himself, as she used to, than begin on Mr. Heathcliff. Catherine was waxing cross at this; but he found means to make her hold her tongue, by asking how she would like zm to speak ill of her father? Then she comprehended that Earnshaw took the master’s reputa- tion home to himself; and was attached by ties stronger than reason could break—chains, forged by habit, which it would be cruel to attempt toloosen.

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Sheshoweda good heart, thenceforth, in avoiding both complaints and expressions of antipathy con- cerning Heathcliff ; and confessed to me her sorrow that she had endeavoured to raise a bad spirit between him and Hareton: indeed, I don’t believe she has ever breathed a syllable, in the latter’s hearing, against her oppressor since. When this slight disagreement was over, they were friends again, and as busy as possible in their several occupations of pupil and teacher. I came in to sit with them, after I had done my work; and I felt so soothed and comforted to watch them, that I did not notice how time got on. You know, they both appeared in a measure my children: I had long been proud of one; and now, I was sure, the other would be a source of equal satisfaction. His honest, warm, and intelligent nature shook off rapidly the clouds of ignorance and degradation in which it had been bred; and Catherine’s sincere commendations acted asa

• 284 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. spur to his industry. His brightening mind brightened his features, and added spirit and nobility to their aspect: I could hardly fancy it the same individual I had beheld on the day I discovered my little lady at Wuthering Heights, after her ex- pedition to the Crags. While I admired and they laboured, dusk drew on, and with it returned the master. He came upon us quite unexpectedly, entering by the front way, and had a full view of the whole three, ere we could raise our heads to glance at him. Well, I reflected, there was never a pleasanter, or more harmless sight ; and it will be a burning shame to scold them. The red firelight glowed on their two bonny heads, and revealed their faces animated with the eager interest of children ; for, though he was twenty-three and she eighteen, each had so much of novelty to feel and learn, that neither experienced nor evinced the sentiments of sober disenchanted maturity.

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They lifted their eyes together, to encounter Mr. Heathcliff: perhaps you have never remarked that their eyes are precisely similar, and they are those of Catherine Earnshaw. The present Catherine has no other likeness to her, except a breadth of fore- head, and a certain arch of the nostril that makes her appear rather haughty, whether she will or not. With Hareton the resemblance is carried farther: it is singular at all times, ¢hez it was particularly striking ; because his senses were alert, and his mental faculties wakened to unwonted activity. I suppose this resemblance disarmed Mr. Heathcliff: he walked to the hearth in evident agitation ; but it quickly subsided as he looked at the young man: or, I should say, altered its character; for it was there yet.

He took the book from his hand, and glanced at the Open page, then returned it without any observation; merely signing Catherine away: her companion lingered very little behind her, and I was about to depart also, but he bid me sit still, “Tt is a poor conclusion, is it not?’’ he observed, having brooded a while on the scene he had just witnessed : ‘‘ an absurd termination to my violent exertions? I get levers and mattocks to demolish the two houses, and train myself to be capable of working like Hercules, and when everything is ready and in my power, I find the will to lift a slate off either roof has vanished ! My old enemies have not beaten me ; now would be the precise time to revenge myself on their representatives: I could do it; and none could hinder me, But where isthe use? I don’t care

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 285 for striking: I can’t take the trouble to raise my hand! That sounds as if I had been labouring the whole time only to exhibit a fine trait of magnanimity. It is far from being the case: I have lost the faculty of enjoying their destruction, and I am too. idle to destroy for nothing. “Nelly, there is a strange change approaching: I’m in its shadow at present. I take so little interest in my daily life, that I hardly remember to eat and drink. Those two who have left the room are the only objects which retain a distinct material appearance to me; and that appearance causes me pain, amounting to agony. About fer I won't speak; and I don't desire to think; but I earnestly wish she were invisible: her presence invokes only maddening sensations. He moves me differently : and yet if I could do it without seeming insane, I'd never see him again.

You'll perhaps think me rather inclined to become so,” he added, making an effort to smile, “if I try to describe the thousand forms of past associations and ideas he awakens or embodies. But you'll not talk of what I tell you; and my mind is so eternally secluded in itself, it is tempting at last to turn it out to another. ‘Five minutes ago, Hareton seemed a personification of my youth, not a human being: I felt to him in such a variety of ways, that it would have been impossible to have accosted him rationally. In the first place, his startling likeness to Catherine connected him fearfully with her. That, however, which you may suppose the most potent to arrest my imagination, is actually the least: for what is not connected with her to me? and what does not recall her? I cannot look down to this floor, but her features are shaped in the flags!

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In every cloud, in every tree —fiiling the air at night, and caught by glimpses in every object by day—I am surrounded with her image! ‘The most ordinary faces of men and women—my own features—mock me with a resemblance. The entire world is a dreadful collection of memoranda that she did exist, and that I have lost her! Well, Hareton’s aspect was the ghost of my immortal love; of my wild endeavours to hold my right; my degradation, my pride, my happiness, and my anguish— ‘ But it is frenzy to repeat these thoughts to you: only it will let you know why, with a reluctance to be always alone, his society is no benefit; rather an aggravation of the constant torment I suffer: and it partly contributes to render me regard-

• 286 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. less how he and his cousin go on together. I can give them no attention, any more.” ‘« But what do you mean by a change, Mr. Heathcliff?” I said, alarmed at his manner : though he was neither in danger of losing his senses, nor dying, according to my judgment: he was quite strong and healthy; and, as to his reason, from childhood he had a delight in dwelling on dark things, and entertaining odd fancies. He might have had a monomania on the subject of his departed idol ; but on every other point his wits were as sound as mine, ‘‘T shall not know that till it comes,” he said, ‘‘ I’m only half conscious of it now.” ‘You have no feeling of illness, have you?” I asked. ‘"No, Nelly, I have not,” he answered. ‘Then you are not afraid of death?” I pursued. “ Afraid? No!” he replied. ‘I have neither a fear nor a presentiment, nor a hope of death. Why should I?

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With my hard constitution and temperate mode of living, and unperilous occupations, I ought to, and probably skaJZ, remain above ground till there is scarcely a black hair on my head. And yet I cannot continue in this condition! I have to remind myself to breathe—almost to remind my heart to beat! And it is like bending back a stiff spring: it is by compulsionthat I do the slightest act not prompted by one thought; and by compulsion that I notice anything alive or dead, which is not associated with one universal idea. I have a single wish, and my whole being and faculties are yearning to attain it. They have yearned to- wards it so long, and so unwaveringly, that I’m convinced it wzll be reached—and soon—because it has devoured my exist- ence: I am swallowed up in the anticipation of its fulfilment. My confessions have not relieved me; but they may account for some otherwise unaccountable phases of humour which I show. O God!

Itis along fight, I wish it were over!” He began to pace the room, muttering terrible things to him- self, till I was inclined to believe, as he said Joseph did, that conscience had turned his heart to an earthly hell. I wondered greatly how it would end. Though he seldom before had re- vealed this state of mind, even by looks, it was his habitual mood, I had no doubt: he asserted it himself; but not asoul, from his general bearing, would have conjectured the fact. You did not when you saw him, Mr, Lockwood: and at the period of which

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 287 I speak he was just the same as then; only fonder of continued solitude, and perhaps still more laconic in company. CHAPTER XXXIV, FoR some days after that evening, Mr. Heathcliff shunned meeting us at meals; yet he would not consent formally to ex- clude Hareton and Cathy. He had an aversion to yielding so completely to his feelings, choosing rather to absent himself ; and eating once in twenty-four hours seemed sufficient susten= ance for him. One night, after the family were-in bed, I heard him go down- stairs, and out at the front door. I did not hear him re-enter, and in the morning I found he was stillaway. We were in April then: the weather was sweet and warm, the grass as green as showers and sun could make it, and the two dwarf apple-trees near the southern wallin full bloom.

After breakfast, Cathcrine insisted on my bringing a chair and sitting with my work under the fir-trees at the end of the house; and she beguiled Hareton, who had perfectly recovered from his accident, to dig and arrange her little garden, which was shifted to that corner by the influence of Joseph’s complaints. Iwas comfortably revelling in the spring fragrance around, and the beautiful soft blue overhead, when my young lady, who had run down near the gate to procure some primrose roots for a border, returned only half laden, and in- formed us that Mr. Heathcliff was coming in. ‘‘ And he spoke to me,” she added, with a perplexed countenance, ‘«What did he say?” asked Hareton. “He told me to begone as fast as I could,’ she answered. ‘* But he looked so different from his usual look that I stopped a moment to stare at him.” ‘‘ How?” he inquired, ‘Why, almost bright and cheerful.

No, almost nothing— very nvuch excited, and wild and glad !”’ she replied. *« Night-walking amuses him, then,” I remarked, affecting a careless manner: in reality as surprised as she was, and anxious to ascertain the truth of her statement; for to see the master looking glad would not be an every-day spectacle. I framed an excuse to goin. Heathcliff stood at the open door ; he was pale,

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• 288 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. and he trembled: yet, certainly, he had a strange joyful glitter in his eyes, that altered the aspect of his whole face. ‘“Will you have some breakfast?’ I said. ‘‘ You must be hungry, rambling about all night!” . I wanted to discover where he had been, but I did not like to ask directly. ‘“No, I’m not hungry,” he answered, averting his head, and speaking rather contemptuously, as if he guessed I was trying to divine the occasion of his good-humour. I felt perplexed : I didn’t know whether it were not a proper opportunity to offer a bit of admonition, ‘(TJ don’t think it right to wander out of doors,’ I observed, ‘instead of being in bed: it is not wise, at any rate, this moist season. I dare say you'll catch a bad cold, or a fever: you have something the matter with you now!” “Nothing but what I can bear,” he replied; ‘‘and with the greatest pleasure, provided you'll leave me alone: get in, and don't annoy me.”

I obeyed: and, in passing, I noticed he breathed as fast as a cat. “Yes!” I reflected to myself, ‘‘ we shall have a fit of illness. I cannot conceive what he has been doing.” That noon he sat down to dinner with us, and received a heaped-up plate from my hands, as if he intended to make amends for previous fasting. “‘T’ve neither cold nor fever, Nelly,’”’ he remarked, in allusion to my morning’s speech; ‘‘and I’m ready to do justice to the food you give me.” He took his knife and fork, and was going to commence eating, when the inclination appeared to become suddenly extinct. He laid them on the table, looked eagerly towards the window, then rose and went out. We saw him walking to and fro in the garden while we concluded our meal, and Earnshaw said he'd go and ask why he would not dine: he thought we had grieved him some way. “Well, is he coming?” cried Catherine, when her cousin returned.

‘Nay,’ he answered ; ‘‘ but he’s not angry: he seemed rarely pleased indeed ; only I made him impatient by speaking to him twice ; and then he bid me be off to you: he wondered -how I could want the company of anybody else.” I set his plate to keep warm on the fender; and after an hour

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 289 or two he re-entered, when the room was clear, in no degree calmer: the same unnatural—it was unnatural—appearance of joy under his black brows ; the same bloodless hue, and his teeth visible, now and then, in a kind of smile ; his frame shivering, not as one Shivers with chill or weakness, but as a tight-stretched cord vibrates—a strong thrilling, rather than trembling. . I will ask what is the matter, I thought ; or whoshould? And I exclaimed— ‘Have you heard any good news, Mr. Heathcliff? You look uncommonly. animated.”’ ““Where should good news come from to me?” he said. ‘I’m animated with hunger ; and, seemingly, I must not eat.” “‘Your dinner is here,” I returned ; ‘‘ why won't you get it?” “‘T don’t want it now,’ he muttered hastily; ‘(I'll wait till supper. And, Nelly, once for all, let me beg you to warn Hareton and the other away from me.

“I wish to be troubled by nobody : I wish to have this place to myself.” ‘Ts there some new reason for this banishment ?”’ I inquired. ‘«Tell me why you are so queer, Mr. Heathcliff? Where were you last night? I’m not putting the question through idle curiosity, but ”—— “You are putting the question through very idle curiosity,” he interrupted, with a laugh. ‘‘ Yet I'll answer it. Last night I was on the threshold of hell. To-day, I am within sight of my heaven. I have my eyes on it: hardly three feet to sever me! And now you'd better go! You'll neither see nor hear anything to frighten you, if you refrain from prying.” Having swept the hearth and wiped the table, I departed ; more perplexed than ever. He did not quit the house again that afternoon, and no one intruded on his solitude; till, at eight o’clock, I deemed it proper, though unsummoned, to carry a candle and his supper to him.

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He was leaning against the ledge of an open lattice, but not looking out : his face was turned to the interior gloom, The fire had smouldered to ashes ; the room was filled with the damp, mild air of the cloudy evening ; and so still, that not only the murmur of the beck down Gimmerton was distinguishable, but its ripples and its gurgling over the pebbles, or through the large stones which it could not cover. I uttered an ejaculation of discontent at seeing the dismal grate, and commenced shut- ting the casements, one after another, till I came to his. K

• 290 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. “‘Must I close this?” I asked, in order to rouse him ; for he ‘would not stir. t The light flashed on his features as I spoke. Oh, Mr, Lock- wood, I cannot express what a terrible start I got by the momen- ‘tary view! Those deep black eyes! That smile, and ghastly paleness! It appeared to me, not Mr. Heathcliff, but a goblin ; and, in my terror, I let the candle bend towards the wall, and it left me in darkness. “Yes, close it,’’ he replied, in his familiar voice. ‘‘ There, that is pure awkwardness! Why did you hold the candle horizontally? Be quick, and bring another.” I hurried out in a foolish state of dread, and said to Joseph— ‘The master wishes you to take him a light and re-kindle the fire.’ For I dare not go in myself again just then. Joseph rattled some fire into the shovel, and went: but he brought it back immediately, with the supper-tray in his other hand, explaining that Mr.

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Heathcliff was going to bed, and he wanted nothing to eat till morning. We heard him mount the stairs directly ; he did not proceed to his ordinary chamber, but turned into that with the panelled bed: its window, as I men- tioned before, is wide enough for anybody to get through; and it struck me that he plotted another midnight excursion, of which he had rather we had no suspicion. “Ts he a ghoul or a vampire?” I mused. I had read of such hideous incarnate demons. And then I set myself to reflect how [had tended him in infancy, and watched him grow to youth, and followed him almost through his whole course ; and what absurd nonsense it was to yield to that sense of horror. ‘‘ But where did he come from, the little dark thing, harboured bya good man tohis bane?” muttered Superstition, as I dozed into unconsciousness.

And I began, half dreaming, to weary myself with imagining some fit parentage for him; and, repeating my waking meditations, I tracked his existence over again, with grim variations ; at last, picturing his death and funeral: of which, all I can remember is, being exceedingly vexed at having the task of dictating an in- scription for his monument, and consulting the sexton aboutit ; and, as he had no. surname, and we could not tell his age, we were obliged to content ourselves with the single word, ‘‘ Heath- cliff.” Thatcametrue: we were. Ifyou enter the kirkyard,you'll read on his headstone, only that, and the date of his death. Dawn restored me tocommon sense, I rose, and went into the

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 291 garden, as soon as I could see, to ascertain if there were any foot- marks under his window. Therewerenone. ‘He hasstayed at home,” I thought, ‘‘and he'll be ali right to-day.” I prepared breakfast for the household, as was my usual custom, but told Hareten and Catherine to get theirs ere the master came down, for he lay late. "They preferred taking it out of doors, under the trees, and I set a little table to accommodate them. On my re-entrance, I found Mr. Heathcliff below. He and Joseph were conversing about some farming business; he gave clear, minute directions concerning the matter discussed, ‘but he spoke rapidly, and turned his head continually aside, and had the same excited expression, even more exaggerated. When Joseph quitted the room he took his seat in the place he generally chose, and I put a basin of coffee before him.

He drew it nearer, and then rested his arms on the table, and looked at the opposite wall, as I supposed, surveying one particular portion, up and down, with glittering, restless eyes, and with such eager interest thas he stopped breathing during half a minute together. “Come now,” I exclaimed, pushing some bread against his hand, “‘eat and drink that, while it is hot : it has been waiting near an hour,” He didn’t notice me, and yet he smiled. I'd rather have seen him gnash his teeth than smile so, “Myr. Heathcliff! master!” I cried, ‘‘don't, for God's sake, stare as if you saw an unearthly vision.” “Don't, for God's sake, shout so loud,” he replied. ‘‘ Turn round, and tell me, are we by ourselves?” “Of course,” was my answer ; ‘‘ of course we are.” Still, I involuntarily obeyed him, as if Iwas not quite sure.

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With a sweep of his hand he cleared a vacant space in front among the breakfast things, and leant forward to gaze more at his ease. Now, I perceived he was not looking at the wall; for when I regarded him alone, it seemed exactly that he gazed at something within two yards’ distance. And whatever it was, it communi- cated, apparently, both pleasure and pain in exquisite extremes : at least the anguished, yet raptured, expression of his countenance suggested that idea. The fancied object was not fixed: either his eyes pursued it with unwearied diligence, and, even in speak- ing tome, were never weaned away. I vainly reminded him of his protracted abstinence from food : if he stirred to touch anything

• 292 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. in compliance with my entreaties, if he stretched his hand out to get a piece of bread, his fingers clenched before they reached it, and remained on the table, forgetful of their aim. I sat, a model of patience, trying to attract his absorbed atten- tion from its engrossing speculation ; till he grew irritable, and got up, asking why I would not allow him to have his own time in taking his meals? and saying that on the next occasion, I needn't wait: I might set the things down and go. Having uttered these words he left the house, slowly sauntered down the garden path, and disappeared through the gate. The hours erept anxiously by: another evening came. I did not retire to rest till late, and when I did, I could not sleep. He returned after midnight, and, instead of going to bed, shut him- self into the room beneath. I listened, and tossed about, and, finally, dressed and descended.

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It was too irksome to lie there, harassing my brain with a hundred idle misgivings. I distinguished Mr. Heathcliff’s step, restlessly measuring the floor, and he frequently broke the silence by a deep inspiration, resembling a groan. He muttered detached words also; the only one I could catch was the name of Catherine, coupled with some wild term of endearment or suffering ; and spoken as one would speak to a person present: low and earnest, and wrung from the depth of his soul. I had not courage to walk straight into the apartment ; but I desired to divert him from his reverie, and therefore fell foul of the kitchen fire, stirred it, and began to scrape the cinders. It drew him forth sooner than I expected. He opened the door immediately, and said— “Nelly, come here—is it morning? Come in with your light.” “‘It is striking four,” I answered. ‘‘ You want a candle to take upstairs: you might have lit one at this fire.”

‘No, I don’t wish to go upstairs,” he said. ‘‘ Come in, and kindle me a fire, and do anything there is to do about the room.” ‘‘T must blow the coals red first, before I can carry any,” I replied, getting a chair and the bellows. He roamed to and fro, meantime, in a state approaching distraction ; his heavy sighs succeeding each other so thick as to leave no space for common breathing between. ‘« When day breaks I'll send for Green,” he said; ‘‘I wish to make some legal inquiries of him while I can bestow a thought on those matters, and while I can act calmly. I have not written

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS, 293 my will yet ; and how to leave my property I cannot determine, I wish I could annihilate it from the face of the earth.” “‘T would not talk so, Mr. Heathcliff,” I interposed. ‘‘ Let your will be a while: you'll be spared to repent of your many injustices yet. J never expected that your nerves would be dis- ordered : they are, at present, marvellously so, however ; and almost entirely through your own fault. The way you've passed these three last days might knock up a Titan. Do take some food, and some repose. You need only look at yourself in a glass to see how you require both. Your cheeks are hollow, and your eyes bloodshot, like a person starving with hunger and going blind with loss of sleep.” “Tt is not my fault that I cannot eat or rest,” he replied. “‘T assure you it is through no settled designs. I'll do both, as soon as I possibly can.

But you might as well bid a man struggling in the water rest within arm’s length of the shore! I must reach it first, and then I'llrest. Well, nevermind Mr. Green: as to repenting of my injustices, I’ve done no injustice, and I repent of nothing. I’m too happy; and yet I’m not happy enough. My soul’s bliss kills my body, but does not satisfy itself.” ‘Happy, master?” I cried. ‘‘Strange happiness! If you would hear me without being angry, I might offer some advice that would make you happier.” “What is that?” he asked. ‘‘ Give it.” “*You are aware, Mr. Heathcliff,’ I said, ‘‘ that from the time you were thirteen years old, you have lived a selfish, unchristian life ; and probably hardly had a Bible in your hands during all that period. You must have forgotten the contents of the book, and you may not have space to search it now.

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Could it be hurtful to send for some one—some minister of any denomination, it does not matter which—to explain it, and show you how very far you have erred from its precepts ; and how unfit you will be for its heaven, unless a change takes place before you die?” ‘‘T’m rather obliged than angry, Nelly,” he said, ‘‘for you remind me of the manner in which I desire to be buried. It is to be carried to the churchyard in the evening. You and Hareton may, if you please, accompany me: and mind, particularly, to notice that the sexton obeys my directions concerning the two coffins! No minister need come; nor need anything be said over me.—I tell you I have nearly attained my heaven ; and that of others is altogether unvalued and uncoyeted by me.”

• 294 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. *‘ And supposing you persevered in your obstinate fast, and died by that means, and they refused to bury you im the precincts of the Kirk?” Isaid, shocked at his godless indifference. ‘‘ How would you like it?” iw “They won't do that,” he replied: ‘‘if they did, you must have me removed secretly ; and if you neglect it you shall prove, practically, that the dead are not annihilated !”’ As soon as he heard the other members of the family stirring he retired to his den, and I breathed freer. But in the afternoon, while Joseph and Hareton were at their work, he came into the kitchen again, and, with a wild look, bid me come and sit in the house : he wanted somebody with him. I declined; telling him plainly that his strange talk and manner frightened me, and I had neither the nerve nor the will to be his companion alone.

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‘T believe you think me a fiend,” he said, with his dismal laugh: ‘‘something too horrible to live under a decent roof.” Then turning to Catherine, who was there, and who drew behind me at his approach, he added, half sneeringly—‘ Will you come, chuck? Tl not hurt you. No! to you I’ve made myself worse than the devil. Well, there is oze who won't shrink from my company! By God! she’s relentless. Oh, damn it! It’s un- utterably too much for flesh and blood to bear—even mine.” He solicited the society of no one: more. At dusk, he went into his chamber. Through the whole night, and far into the morning, we heard him groaning and murmuring to himself. Hareton was anxious to enter; but I bid him fetch Mr, Kenneth, and he should go in and see him, When he came, and I requested admittance and tried to open the door, I found it locked ; and Heathcliff bid us be damned. He was better, and would be left alone; so the doctor went away.

The following evening was very wet: indeed it poured down till day-dawn ; and, as I took my morning walk round the house, I observed the master’s window swinging open, and the rain driving straight in. He cannot be in bed, I thought: those showers would drench him through. He must either be up or out. But I'll make no more ado, I'll go boldly and look.” Having succeeded in obtaining entrance with another key, I ran to unclose the panels, for the chamber was vacant; quickly pushing them aside, I peeped in. Mr, Heathcliff was there— Taid on his back, His eyes met mine so keen and fierce, I started; and then he seemed to smile: I could not think him

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 295 dead: but his face and throat were washed with rain-; the bed- clothes dripped, and he was perfectly still. The lattice, flapping to and fro, had grazed one hand that rested on the sill; no. blood trickled from the broken skin, and when I put my fingers. to it, L could doubt no more: he was dead and stark ! I hasped the window; I combed his black long hair from his forehead ; I tried to close his eyes : to extinguish, if possible, that frightful, lifelike gaze of exultation before any one else beheld it... They would not shut: they seemed to sneer at my attempts; and his parted lips and sharp white teeth sneered too! Taken with another fit of cowardice, I cried out for Joseph. Joseph shuffled up and made a noise, but resolutely refused to meddle with him. “‘Th’ divil’s harried off his soul,” he cried, ‘‘and he may hev his carcass into t’ bargin, for aught I care!

Ech! what a wicked un he looks girning at death!” and the old sinner grinned in mockery. Ithought he intended to cut a caper round the bed; but, suddenly composing himself, he fell on his knees, and raised his hands, and returned thanks that the lawful master and the ancient stock were restored to their rights. I felt stunned by the awful event; and my memory unavoid- ably recurred to former times with a sort of oppressive sadness. But poor Hareton, the most wronged, was the only one who really suffered much. He sat by the corpse all night, weeping in bitter earnest. He pressed its hand, and kissed the sarcastic, savage face that every one else shrank from contemplating ; and bemoaned him with that strong grief which springs naturally from a generous heart, though it be tough as tempered steel. Mr. Kenneth was perplexed to pronounce of what disorder the master died.

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I concealed the fact of his having swallowed nothing for four days, fearing it might lead to trouble, and then, I am persuaded, he did not abstain on purpose: it was the consequence of his strange illness, not the cause. We buried him, to the scandal of the whole neighbourhood, as he wished. Earnshaw and I, the sexton, and six men to carry the coffin, comprehended the whole attendance, ‘The six men. departed when they had let it down into the grave: we stayed to see it covered. Hareton, with a streaming face, dug green sods, and laid them over the brown mould himself: at present it is as smooth and verdant as its companion mounds— and, I hope its tenant sleeps as soundly. But the country folks,

• 296 WUTHERING HEIGHTS. if you ask them, would swear on the Bible that he wadks. there are those who speak to having met him near the church, and on the moor, and even within this house. Idle tales, you'll say, andsosay I, Yet that old man by the kitchen fire affirms he has seen two on ’em, looking out of his chamber window, on every rainy night since his death :—and an odd thing happened to me about a month ago. I was going to the Grange one evening—a dark evening, threatening thunder—and, just at the turn of the Heights, I encountered a little boy with a sheep and two lambs before him ; he was crying terribly ; and I supposed the lambs were skittish, and would not be guided. ““What is the matter, my little man?” I asked. ‘There's Heathcliff and a woman, yonder, under t’ nab,” he Dlubbered, ‘‘ un’ I darnut pass ’em.” I saw nothing ; but neither the sheep nor he would go on; so I bid him take the road lower down.

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He probably raised the phantoms from thinking, as he traversed the moors alone, on the nonsense he had heard his parents and companions repeat. Yet, still, I don’t like being out in the dark now; and I don’t like being left by myself in this grim house: I cannot help it ; I shall be glad when they leave it, and shift to the Grange. ‘They are going to the Grange, then?”’ I said. “Yes,” answered Mrs. Dean, ‘‘as soon as they are married, and that will be on New Year’s day.” «And who will live here then?” ““Why, Joseph will take care of the house, and, perhaps, a lad to keep him company. ‘They will live in the kitchen, and the rest will be shut up.” ‘‘For the use of such ghosts as choose to inhabit it,” I ob- served, ““No, Mr. Lockwood,” said Nelly, shaking her head. ‘I believe the dead are at peace: but it is not right to speak of them with levity.” At that moment the garden gate swung to; the ramblers were returning.

“They are afraid of nothing,” I grumbled, watching their approach through the window. ‘‘ Together, they would brave Satan and all his legions.” As they stepped on to the door-stones, and halted to take a last look at the moon—or, more correctly, at each other by her light—I felt irresistibly impelled to escape them again; and,

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WUTHERING HEIGHTS. 297 pressing a remembrance into the hand of Mrs, Dean, and dis- regarding her expostulations at my rudeness, I vanished through the kitchen as they opened the house-door : and so should have confirmed Joseph in his opinion of his fellow-servant’s gay indis- cretions, had he not fortunately recognised. me for a respectable character by the sweet ring of a sovereign at his feet. My walk home was lengthened by a diversion in the direction of the kirk. When beneath its walls, I perceived decay had made progress, even in seven months: many a window showed black gaps deprived of glass; and slates jutted off, here and there, beyond the right line of the roof, to be gradually worked off in coming autumn storms.

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I sought, and soon discovered, the three head-stones on the slope next the moor: the middle one grey, and half buried in heath ; Edgar Linton’s only harmonised by the turf and moss creeping up its foot ; Heathcliff’s still bare. I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth. END OF ‘‘WUTHERING HEIGHTS.”

• i stgaberts Dae aera Aerie — HensTiNGS DER Sh pany erase pee me ach oy ee Art: o> jpeg : Rotini Ar ancvieseNs Be eli Rea is b Taney TE WE Manga entha h yaeeY “ation iad "ae 4 Kehae a3] ht Gane tne ‘mee TRS ibis RCS: oom ~ : ee

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Pi AG NESE EY « TTT Me gee * ar = “ACTON BELL. on % al rl a ’ — + ‘J | a & : “SY ; " . + 3

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PSs ion tama Ca ea CHAPTER I, THE PARSONAGE, LL true histories contain instruction ; though, in some, the treasure may be hard to find, and when found, so trivial in quantity, that the dry, shrivelled kernel scarcely compensates for the trouble of cracking the nut. Whether this be the case with my history or not, lam hardly competent to judge. Isome- times think it might prove useful to some, and entertaining to others ; but the world may judge for itself. Shielded by my own obscurity, and by the lapse of years, and a few fictitious names, I do not fear to venture ; and will candidly lay before the public what.I would not disclose to the most intimate friend. My father was a clergyman of the north of England, who was deservedly respected by all who knew him ; and, in his younger days, lived pretty comfortably on the joint income of a small in- cumbency and a snug little property of his own.

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My mother, who married him against the wishes of her friends, was a squive’s daughter, and a woman of spirit. In vain it was represented to her, that if she became the poor parson’s wife, she must relinquish her carriage and her lady’s-maid, and all the luxuries and elegances of affluence; which to her were little less than the necessaries of life. A carriage and a lady’s-maid were great con- veniences ; but, thank Heaven, she had feet to carry her, and hands to minister to her own necessities. An elegant house and spacious grounds were not to be despised ; but she would rather live in a cottage with Richard Grey than in a palace with any other man in the world. Finding arguments of no avail, her father, at length, told the lovers they might marry if they pleased; but, in so doing, his daughter would forfeit every fraction of her fortune. He cx- 301

• 302 AGNES GREY. pected this would cool the ardour of both ; but he was mistaken. My father knew too well my mother’s superior worth not to be sensible that she was a valuable fortune in herself: and if she would but consent to embellish his humble hearth, he should be happy to take her on any terms; while she, on her part, would rather labour with her own hands than be divided from the man she loved, whose happiness it would be her joy to make, and who was already one with her in heart and soul. So her fortune went to swell the purse of a wiser sister, who had married a rich nabob ; and she, to the wonder and compassionate regret of all who knew her, went to bury herself in the homely village parsonage among the hills ofp ——. And yet, in spite of all this, and in spite of my mother's high spirit and my father’s whims, I believe you might search all England through, and fail to find a happier couple.

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Of six children, my sister Mary and myself were the only two that survived the perils of infancy and early childhood. 1, being the younger by five or six years, was always regarded as the child, and the pet of the family: father, mother, and sister, all combined to spoil me—not by foolish indulgence, to render me fractious and ungovernable, but by ceaseless kindness, to make me too helpless and dependent—too unfit for buffeting with the cares and turmoils of life. Mary and I were brought up in the strictest seclusion.

My mother, being at once highly accomplished, well informed, and fond of employment, took the whole charge of our education on herself, with the exception of Latin—which my father undertook to teach us—so that we never even went to school; and, as there was no society in the neighbourhood, our only intercourse with the world consisted in a stately tea-party, now and then, with the principal farmers and tradespeople of the vicinity (just to avoid being stigmatised as too proud to consort with our neighbours), and an annual visit to our paternal grandfather’s ; where him- self, our kind grandmamma, a maiden aunt, and two or three elderly ladies and gentlemen, were the only persons we ever saw. Sometimes our mother would amuse us with stories and anecdotes of her younger days, which, while they entertained us amazingly, frequently awoke—in me, at least—a secret wish to see a little more of the world.

I thought she must have been very happy: but she never seemed to regret past times. My father, however, whose temper was neither tranquil nor cheerful by nature, often unduly vexed

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AGNES GREY. 303 himself with thinking of the sacrifices his dear wife had made for him ; and troubled his head with revolving endless schemes for the augmentation of his little fortune for her sake and ours. In vain my mother assured him she was quite satisfied ; and if he would but lay by a little for the children, we should all have plenty, both for time present and to come: but saving was not my father’s forte. He would not run in debt (at least, my mother took good care he should not), but while he had money he must spend it: he liked tosee his house comfortable, and his wife and daughters well clothed, and well attended ; and besides, he was charitably disposed, and liked to give to the poor, according to his means: or, as some might think, beyond them, At length, however, a kind friend suggested to him a means of doubling his private property at one stroke; and further in- creasing it, hereafter, toan untold amount.

‘This friend was a merchant, a man of enterprising spirit and undoubted talent, who was somewhat straitened in his mercantile pursuits for want of capital; but generously proposed to give my father a fair share of his profits, if he would only entrust him with what he could spare ; and he thought he might safely promise that whatever sum the latter chose to put into his hands, it should bring him in cent. per cent. The small patrimony was speedily sold, and the whole of its price was deposited in the hands of the friendly merchant ; who as promptly proceeded to ship his cargo, and prepare for his voyage. My father was delighted, so were we all, with our brightening prospects. For the present, it is true, we were reduced to the narrow income of the curacy; but my father seemed to think there was no necessity for scrupulously restricting our expendi- ture to that ;so with a standing bill at Mr.

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Jackson’s, another at Smith’s, and a third at Hobson’s, we got along even more coni- fortably than before: though my mother affirmed we had better keep within bounds, for our prospects of wealth were but pre- carious, after all ; and if my father would only trust everything to her management, he should never feel himself stinted : but he, for once, was incorrigible, What happy hours Mary and I have passed, while sitting at our work by the fire, or wandering on the heath-clad hills, or idling under the weeping birch (the only considerable tree in the garden, talking of future happiness to ourselves and our parents, of what we would do, and see, and possess; with no firmer

• 304 AGNES GREY. foundation for our goodly superstructure, than the riches that were expected to flow in upon us from the success of the worthy merchant's speculations. Our father was nearly as bad as our- selves: only that he affected not to be so much in earnest: expressing his bright hopes and sanguine expectations, in jests and playful sallies, that always struck me as being exceedingly witty and pleasant. Our mother laughed with delight to see him so hopeful and happy: but still she feared he was setting his heart too much upon the matter; and once I heard her whisper as she left the room, ‘‘God grant he be not disappointed! I know not how he would bear it.” Disappointed he was; and bitterly, too. It came like a thunder-clap on us all, that the vessel which contained our fortune had been wrecked, and gone to the bottom with all its stores, together with several of the crew, and the unfortunate merchant himself.

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Iwas grieved for him; I was grieved for the overthrow of all our air-built castles: but, with the elasticity of youth, I soon recovered the shock. Though riches had charms, poverty had no terrors for an inexperienced girl like me. Indeed, to say the truth, there was something exhilarating in the idea of being driven to straits, and thrown upon our own resources. I only wished papa, mamma, and Mary, were all of the same mind as myself ; and then, instead of lamenting past calamities, we might all cheerfully set to work to remedy them; and the greater the difficulties, the harder our present privations, the greater should be our cheerfulness ta endure the latter, and our vigour to contend against the former. Mary did not lament, but she brooded continually over the misfortune, and sank into a state of dejection from which no effort of mine could rouse her.

I could not possibly bring her to regard the matter on its bright side as I did: and indeed I was so fearful of being charged with childish frivolity, or stupid in- sensibility, that I carefully kept most of my bright ideas and cheer- ing notions to myself; well knowing they could not be appreciated. My mother thought only of consoling my father, and paying our debts and retrenching our expenditure by every available means; but my father was completely overwhelmed by the calamity : health, strength, and spirits sank beneath the blow ; and he never wholly recovered them, In vain my mother strove to cheer him, by appealing to his piety, to his courage, to his affection for herself and us. That very affection was his

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AGNES GREY. 305 greatest torment : it was for our sakes he had so ardently longed to increase his fortune—it was our interest that had lent such brightness to his hopes, and that imparted such bitterness to his present distress. He now tormented himself with remorse at having neglected my mother’s advice; which would at least have saved him from the additional burden of debt—he vainly reproached himself for having brought her from the dignity, the ease, the luxury of her former station to toil with him through the cares and toils of poverty. It was gall and wormwood to his soul to see that splendid, highly accomplished woman, Once so courted and admired, transformed into an active managing housewife, with hands and head continually occupied with household labours and household economy.

The very willingness with which she performed these duties, the cheerful- ness with which she bore her reverses, and the kindness which withheld her from imputing the smallest blame to him, were all perverted by this ingenious self-tormentor, into further aggrava- tions of his sufferings. And thus the mind preyed upon the body, and disordered the system of the nerves, and they in turn increased the troubles of the mind, till’by action and reaction his health was seriously impaired ; and not one of us could convince him that the aspect of our affairs was not half so gloomy, so utterly hopeless, as his morbid imagination represented it to be, The useful pony phaeton was sold, together with the stout well-fed pony—the old favourite that we had fully determined should end its days in peace, and never pass from our hands ; the little coach-house and stable were let ; the servant boy, and the more efficient (being the more expensive) of the two maid-servants were dismissed.

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Our clothes were mended, turned, and darned to the utmost verge of decency ; our food, always plain, was now simplified to an unprecedented degree—except my father’s favourite dishes; our coals and candles were painfully economised —the pair of candles reduced to one, and that most sparingly used ; the coals carefully husbanded in the half-empty grate: especially when my father was out on his parish duties, or con- fined to bed through illness—then we sat with our feet on the fender, scraping the perishing embers together from time to time, and occasionally adding a slight scattering of the dust and fragments of coal, just to keep them alive. As for our carpets, they in time, were worn threadbare, and patched and darned even to a greater extent than our garments. To save the expense ofa

• 306 AGNES GREY, gardener, Mary and I undertook to keep the garden in order ; and all the cooking and household work that could not easily be managed by one servant girl, was done by my mother and sister, witha little occasional help from me: onlya little, because, though a woman in my own estimation, I was still a child in theirs ; and my mother, like most active, managing women, was not gifted with very active daughters ; for this reason—that being so clever and diligent herself, she was never tempted to trust her affairs to a deputy, but on the contrary, was willing to act and think for others as well as for number one ; and whatever was the business in hand, she was apt to think that no one could do it so well as herself: so that whenever I offered to assist her, I received such an answer as—‘‘ No, love, you cannot indeed—there’s nothing here you can do, Go and help your sister, or get her to take a walk with you—tell her she must not sit so much, and stay so constantly in the house as she does—she may well look thin and dejected.”

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“Mary, mamma says I’m to help you; or get you to take a walk with me: she says you may well look thin and dejected, if you sit so constantly in the house.” ‘Help me you cannot, Agnes; and I cannot go out with you —TI have far too much to do.” “Then let me help you.” “You cannot, indeed, dear child. Go and practise your music, or play with the kitten.” : There was always plenty of sewing on hand; but I had not been taught to cut out a single garment, and except plain hemming and seaming, there was little I could do, even in that line; for they both asserted that it was far easier to do the work themselves than to prepare it for me: and, besides, they liked better to see me prosecuting my studies, or amusing myself—it was time enough for me to sit bending over my work, like a grave matron, when my favouritelittle pussy was become a steady oldcat.

Under such circumstances, although I was not many degrees more useful than the kitten, my idleness was not entirely without excuse. Through all our troubles, I never but once heard my mother complain of our want of money. As summer was coming on, she observed to Mary and me, ‘‘ What a desirable thing it would be for your papa to spend a few weeks at a watering-place: Iam convinced the sea-air and the change of scene would be of in- calculable service tohim, But then, you see, there’s no money,”

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AGNES GREY. 307° she added, with a sigh. We both wished exceedingly that the thing might be done, and lamented greatly that it could not. “Well, well!” said she, ‘‘it's no use complaining. Possibly something might be done to further the project after all. Mary, you are a beautiful drawer. What do you say to doing a few more pictures in your best style, and getting them framed, with the water-coloured drawings you have already done, and trying to dispose of them to some liberal picture-dealer, who has the sense to discern their merits ?” ‘‘Mamma, I should be delighted if you think they could be sold ; and for anything worth while.” “It’s worth while trying, however, my dear: do you procure the drawings, and I'll endeavour to find a purchaser.” “‘T wish Z could do something.” said I. **You, Agnes! well, who knows?

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You draw pretty well, too : if you choose some simple piece for your subject, I dare say you will be able to produce something we shall all be proud to exhibit.” ‘But I have another scheme in my head, mamma, and have had long, only I did not like to mention it.” ‘« Indeed ! pray tell us what it is.” ‘‘T should like to be a governess.” My mother uttered an exclamation of surprise, and laughed. My sister dropped her work in astonishment, exclaiming, ‘‘ You a governess, Agnes! What caz you be dreaming of }” “Well! I don’t see anything so very extraordinary in it. I do not pretend to be able to instruct great girls; but surely, I could teach little ones: and I should like it so much: I am so fond of children. Do let me, mamma!” ‘But, my love, you have not learned to take care of yourself yet : and young children require more judgment and experience to manage than elder ones.”

“But, mamma, I am above eighteen, and quite able to take care of myself, and others too. You donot know half the wisdom and prudence I possess, because I have never been tried.” ‘© Only think,” said Mary, ‘‘what would you do in a house full of strangers, without me or mamma to speak and act for you —with a parcel of children, besides yourself, to attend to ; and no one to look to for advice? You would not even know what clothes to put on,” i ‘You think, because I always do as you bid me, I haye no

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• 308 AGNES GREY. judgment of my own: but only try me—that is all I ask—and you shall see what I can do,” At that moment my father entered, and the subject of our discussion was explained to him. ““What, my little Agnes a governess !”” cried he, and, in spite of his dejection, he laughed at the idea, ‘Yes, papa, don’t you say anything against it: I should like it so much; and I am sure I could manage delightfully.” “But, my darling, we could not spare you.” And a tear glistened in his eye as he added—‘‘ No, no! afflicted as we are, — surely we are not brought to that pass yet.” “‘Oh, no!” said my mother. ‘‘ There is no necessity what- ever for such a step; it is merely a whim of her own. So you must hold your tongue, you naughty girl; for, though you are so ready to leave zs, you know very well we cannot part with you,” I was silenced for that day, and for many succeeding ones ; but still I did not wholly relinquish my darling scheme.

Mary got her drawing materials, and steadily set to work. I got mine too; but while I drew, I thought of other things. How delight- ful it would be to be a governess! To go out into the world; to enter upon a new life; to act for myself; to exercise my unused faculties; to try my unknown powers; to earn my own maintenance, and something to comfort and help my father, mother, and sister, besides exonerating them from the provision of my food and clothing ; to show papa what his little Agnes could do ; to convince mamma and Mary that I was not quite the helpless, thoughtless being they supposed. And then, how charming to be entrusted with the care and education of children!

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Whatever others said, I felt I was fully competent to the task : the clear remembrance of my own thoughts in early childhood would be a surer guide than the instructions of the most mature adviser, I had but to turn from my little pupils to myself at their age, and I should know, at once, how to win their con- fidence and affections : how to waken the contrition of the erring ; how to embolden the timid, and console the afflicted ; how to make Virtue practicable, Instruction desirable, and Religion lovely and comprehensible, “—__ Delightful task ! To teach the young idea how to shoot !” To train the tender plants, and watch their buds unfolding day by day! a |

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AGNES GREY. 309 Influenced by so many inducements, I determined still to per- severe ; though the fear of displeasing my mother, or distressing my father's feelings, prevented me from resuming the subject for several days. At length, again, I mentioned it to my mother in private; and, with some difficulty, got her to promise to assist me with her endeavours. My father’s reluctant consent was next obtained, and then, though Mary still sighed her disapproval, my dear, kind mother began to look out for a situation for me. She wrote to my father’s relations, and consulted the newspaper advertisements—her own relations she had long dropped all communication with: a formal interchange of occasional letters was all she had ever had since her marriage, and she would not at any time have applied to them in a case of this nature.

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But so long and so entire had been my parents’ seclusion from the world, that many weeks elapsed before a suitable situation could be procured. At last, to my great joy, it was decreed that I should take charge of the young family of a certain Mrs. Bloom- field; whom my kind, prim aunt Grey had known in her youth, and asserted to be a very nice woman. Her husband was a retired tradesman, who had realised a very comfortable fortune ; but could not be prevailed upon to give a greater salary than twenty-five pounds to the instructress of his children. I, how- ever, was glad to accept this, rather than refuse the situation— which my parents were inclined to think the better plan. But some weeks more were yet to be devoted to preparation. How long, how tedious those weeks appeared to me! Yet they were happy ones in the main—full of bright hopes and ardent expectations.

With what peculiar pleasure I assisted at the making of my new clothes, and, subsequently, the packing of my trunks! But there was a feeling of bitterness mingling with the latter occupation too ; and when it was done—-when all was ready for my departure on the morrow, and the last night at home approached—a sudden anguish seemed to swell my heart. My dear friends looked so sad, and spoke so very kindly, that I could scarcely keep my eyes from overflowing: but I still affected to be gay. Ihad taken my last ramble with Mary on the moors, my last walk in the garden, and round the house; I had fed, with her, our pet pigeons for the last time—the pretty creatures that we had tamed to peck their food from our hands: I had given a farewell stroke to all their silky backs as they crowded in my lap. I had tenderly kissed my own peculiar favourites,

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• 310 AGNES GREY. the pair of snow-white fantails; I had played my last tune on the old familiar piano, and sung my last song to papa: not the last, I hoped, but the last for, what appeared to me, a very long time. And, perhaps, when I did these things again, it would be with different feelings : circumstances might be changed, and this house might never be my settled home again.. My dear little friend, the kitten, would certainly be changed: she was already growing a fine cat; and when I returned, even for a hasty visit at Christmas, would, most likely, have forgotten both her play- mate and her merry pranks. J had romped with her for the last time; and when I stroked her soft bright fur, while she lay purring herself to sleep in my lap, it was with a feeling of sadness I could not easily disguise.

Then, at bed-time, when I retired with Mary to our quiet little chamber, where already my drawers were cleared out and my share of the bookcase was empty—and where, hereafter, she would have to sleep alone, in dreary solitude, as she expressed it—my heart sank more than ever: I felt as if I had been selfish and wrong to persist in leaving her ; and when I knelt once more beside our little bed, I prayed for a blessing on her and on my parents more fervently than ever I had done before. ‘To conceal my emotion, I buried my face in my hands, and they were presently bathed in tears. I perceived, on rising, that she had been crying too: but neither of us spoke ; and in silence we betook ourselves to our repose, creeping more closely together from the consciousness that we were to part so soon. But the morning brought a renewal of hope and spirits. I was to depart early ; that the conveyance which took me (a gig, hired from Mr.

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Smith, the draper, grocer, and tea-dealer of the village) might return the same day. I rose, washed, dressed, swallowed a hasty breakfast, received the fond embraces of my father, mother, and sister, kissed the cat, to the great scandal of Sally, the maid—shook hands with her, mounted the gig, drew my veil over my face, and then, but not till then, burst into a flood of tears. The gig rolled on; I looked back; my dear mother and sister were still standing at the door, looking after me, and waving their adieux. I returned their salute, and prayed God to bless them from my heart : we descended the hill, and I could see them no more. “It's a coldish mornin’ for you, Miss Agnes,” observed Smith; ‘‘and a darksome un too; but we’s, happen, get to yon’ spot afore there come much rain to signify.”

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AGNES GREY. 311 **Yes, I hope so,” replied I, as calmly as I could. “‘Tt’s comed a good sup last night too,” PYes,? * But this cold wind will, happen, keep it off.” “* Perhaps it will.” Here ended our colloquy. We crossed the valley, and began to ascend the opposite hill. As we were toiling up, I looked back again: there was the village spire, and the old grey par- sonage beyond it, basking in a slanting beam of sunshine—it was but a sickly ray, but the village and surrounding hills were all in sombre shade, and I hailed the wandering beam as a propitious omen to my home, With clasped hands, I fervently implored a blessing on its inhabitants, and hastily turned away ; for I saw the sunshine was departing ; and I carefully avoided another glance, lest I should see it in gloomy shadow, like the rest of the landscape. —++—- Cre Tinie ti.

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FIRST LESSONS IN THE ART OF INSTRUCTION, As we drove along, my spirits revived again, and I turned, with pleasure, to the contemplation of the new life upon which I was entering. But though it was not far past the middle of September, the heavy clouds and strong north-easterly wind combined to render the day extremely cold and dreary ; and the journey seemed a very long one, for, as Smith observed, the roads were ‘‘very heavy ;” and certainly, his horse was very heavy too: it crawled up the hills, and crept down them, and only condescended to shake its sides ina trot where the road was at a dead level or a very gentle slope, which was rarely the case in those rugged regions ; so that it was nearly one o'clock before we reached the place of our destination.

Yet, after all, when we entered the lofty iron gateway, when we drove softly up the smooth, well-rolled carriage road, with the green lawn on each side, studded with young trees, and approached the new but stately mansion of Wellwood, rising above its mush- room poplar-groves, my heart failed me, and I wished it were a mile or two farther off. For the first time in my life, I must stand alone: there was no retreating now. I must enter that house, and introduce myself among its strange inhabitants,

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• 312 AGNES GREY. But how was it to be done? True, I was near nineteen; but, thanks to my retired life and the protecting care of my mother and sister, I well knew that many a girl of fifteen, or under, was gifted with a more womanly address, and greater ease and self- possession, than I was. Yet, if Mrs, Bloomfield were a kind, motherly woman, I might do very well, after all; and the children, of course, I should soon be at ease with them—and Mr. Bloomfield, I hoped, I should have but little to do with. ‘‘ Be calm, be calm, whatever happens,” I said within myself; and truly I kept this resolution so well, and was so fully occupied in steadying my nerves and stilling the rebellious flutter of my heart, that when I was admitted into the hall, and ushered into the presence of Mrs, Bloomfield, I almost forgot to answer her polite salutation; and it afterwards struck me, that the little I did say was spoken in the tone of one half-dead or half- asleep.

The lady, too, was somewhat chilly in her manner, as I discovered when I had time to reflect. She was a tall, spare, stately woman, with thick black hair, cold grey eyes, and extremely sallow complexion. With due politeness, however, she showed me my bedroom, and left me there to take a little refreshment. I was somewhat dismayed at my appearance on looking in the glass: the cold wind had swelled and reddened my hands, uncurled and en- tangled my hair, and dyed my face of a pale purple; add to this my collar was horridly crumpled, my frock splashed with mud, my feet clad in stout new boots, and as the trunks were not brought up, there was no remedy ; so having smoothed my hair as well as I could, and repeatedly twitched my obdurate collar, I proceeded to clomp down the two flights of stairs, philosophising as I went; and with some difficulty found my way into the room where Mrs. Bloomfield awaited me.

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She led me into the dining-room, where the family luncheon had been laid out. Some beefsteaks and half-cold potatoes were set before me; and while I dined upon these, she sat opposite, watching me (as I thought) and endeavouring to sustain some- thing like a conversation—consisting chiefly of a succession of commonplace remarks, expressed with frigid formality : but this might be more my fault than hers, for I really cou/d not converse. In fact, my attention was almost wholly absorbed in my dinner : not from ravenous appetite, but from distress at the toughness of the beefsteaks, and the numbness of my hands, almost palsied by

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AGNES GREY. 313 their five hours’ exposure to the bitter wind. I would gladly have eaten the potatoes and let the meat alone, but having got a large piece of the latter on to my plate, I could not be so impolite as to leave it; so, after many awkward and unsuccessful attempts to cut it with the knife, or tear it with the fork, or pull it asunder between them, sensible that the awful lady was a spectator to the whole transaction, I at last desperately grasped the knife and fork in my fists, like a child of two years old, and fell to work with all the little strength I possessed. But this needed some apology— with a feeble attempt at a laugh, I said, ‘‘My hands are so benumbed with the cold that I can scarcely handle my knife and fork.” ‘‘T dare say you would find it cold,” replied she, with a cool, immutable gravity that did not serve to re-assure me.

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When the ceremony was concluded she led me into the sitting- room again, where she rang and sent for the children. “You will find them not very far advanced in their attain- ments,” said she, ‘‘ for I have had so little time to attend to their education myself, and we have thought them too young for a governess till now ; but I think they are clever children, and very apt to learn, especially the little boy: he is, I think, the flower of the flock—a generous, noble-spirited boy, one to be led, but not driven, and remarkable for always speaking the truth. He seems to scorn deception”’ (this was good news). ‘‘ His sister Mary Ann will require watching,” continued she, ‘‘ but she is a very good girl upon the whole: though I wish her to be kept out of the nursery as much as possible, as she is now almost six years old, and might acquire bad habits from the nurses.

I have ordered her crib to be placed in your room, and if you will be so kind as to overlook her washing and dressing, and take charge of her clothes, she need have nothing further to do with the nursery-maid.” I replied I was quite willing to do so; and at that moment my young pupils entered the apartment, with their two younger sisters. Master Tom. Bloomfield was a well-grown boy of seven, with a somewhat wiry frame, flaxen hair, blue eyes, small turned- up nose, and fair complexion. Mary Ann was a tall girl too, somewhat dark like her mother, but with a round full face anda high colour in her cheeks, The second sister was Fanny, a very pretty little girl; Mrs. Bloomfield assured me she was a re- markably gentle child, and required encouragement: she had

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• 314 AGNES GREY. not learned anything yet; but in a few days. she would be four years old,,and then she might take her first lesson in the alphabet, and be promoted to the schoolroom, The remaining one was Harriet, alittlebroad, fat, merry, playfulthing of scarcely two, that I coveted more than all the rest—but with her I had nothing to do. I talked to my little pupils as well as I could, and tried to render myself agreeable ; but with little success I fear, for their mother’s presence kept me under an unpleasant restraimt. They, how- ever, were remarkably free from shyness. They seemed bold, lively children, and I hoped I should soom be on friendly terms with them—the little boy especially, of whom I had heard such a favourable character from his mamma. In Mary Ann there was a certain affected simper, and a craving for notice, that I-was sorry to observe.

But her brother claimed all my attention to himself ; he stood bolt upright between me and the fire, with his hands behind his back, talking away like an orator, occasionally interrupting his discourse with a sharp reproof to his sisters when they made too much noise. ‘““O Tom, what a darling you are!” exclaimed his: mother. “‘Come and kiss dear mamma; and then won't you show Miss Grey your schoolroom, and your nice new books?” “T won't kiss you, mamma ; but I wz// show Miss Grey my schoolroom, and my new books.” “And my schoolroom, and my new books, Tom,” said Mary Ann, ‘‘ They’re mine too.” “They're mzne,” replied he decisively. ‘‘ Come along, Miss Grey—I'll escort you.”

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When the room and books had been shown, with some bickerings between the brother and sister that I did my utmost to appease or mitigate, Mary Ann brought me her doll, and began to be very loquacious on the subject of its fine clothes, its bed, its chest of drawers, and other appurtenances; but Tom told her to hold her clamour, that Miss Grey might see his:rocking- horse, which, with a most important bustle, he dragged forth from its corner into the middle of the room, loudly calling on me to attend to it. Then, ordering his sister to hold the reins, he mounted, and made me stand for ten minutes, watching how manfully he used his whip and spurs. Meantime, however, I admired Mary Ann's pretty doll, and all its possessions ; and then told Mr. Tom he was a capital rider, but I hoped he would not use his whip and spurs so much when he rode a real pony.

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AGNES GREY. 315 “Oh, yes, I will!” said he, laying on with redoubled ardour. “Tl cut into him like smoke! Eeh! my word! but he shall sweat for it.” This was very shocking: but I hoped in time to be able to work a reformation. ““Now you must put on your bonnet and shawl,” said the little hero, ‘‘and I'll show you my garden.” “And mine,” said Mary Ann. Tom lifted his fist with a menacing gesture ; she uttered a loud, shrill scream, ran to the other side of me, and made a face:at him. “Surely, Tom, you would not strike your sister! I hope I shall zever see you do that.’” “You will sometimes: I’m obliged to doit now and then to keep her in order.” : ‘« But it is not your business to keep her in order, you know— that is for” —— “Well, now go and put on your bonnet.” “*T don’t know—it is so very cloudy and cold, it seems likely to rain ;—-and you know I have had a long drive.”

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‘““No matter—you mast come ; I shall allow of no excuses,” replied the consequential little gentleman. And as it was the first day of our acquaintance, I thought I might as well indulge him. It was too cold for Mary Ann to venture, so she stayed with her mamma; to the great relief of her brother, who liked to have me all to himself. The garden was a large one, and tastefully laid out ; besides several splendid dahlias, there were some other fine flowers still in bloom: but my companion would not give me time to examine them: I must go with him, across the wet grass, to a remote sequestered corner, the most important place in the grounds, because it contained 47s garden, There were two round beds, stocked with a variety of plants. In one there was: a pretty little rose tree. I paused to admire its lovely blossoms. “Oh, never mind that!” said he contemptuously. ‘‘ That's only AZary Ann's garden ; look, THIS is mine.”

After I had observed every flower, and listened toa disquisition on every plant, I was permitted to depart; but first, with great pomp, he plucked a polyanthus and presented it to me, as one conferring a prodigious favour. I observed, on the grass about his garden, certain apparatus of sticks and cord, and asked what they were,

• 316 AGNES GREY. ‘‘ Traps for birds,” ‘‘ Why do you catch them?” ‘‘Papa says they do harm.” ‘And what do you do with them when you catch them?” “Different things. Sometimes I give them to the cat ; some- times I cut them in pieces with my penknife; but the next, I mean to roast alive.” “« And why do you mean to do such a horrible thing ?”’ ‘‘For two reasons; first, to see how long it will live—and then, to see what it will taste like.” ‘But don’t you know it is extremely wicked to do such things. Remember, the birds can feel as well as you; and think, how would you like it yourself,” “Oh, that’s nothing! I’m not a bird, and I can’t feel what I do to them.” ‘« But you will have to feel it some time, Tom : you have heard where wicked people go to when they die ; and if you don’t leave off torturing innocent birds, remember, you will have to go there, and suffer just what you have made them suffer.” ‘“‘Oh, pooh! I shan’t.

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Papa knows how I treat them, and he never blames me for it: he says it is just what Ze used to do when he was a boy. Last summer, he gave me a nest full of young sparrows, and he saw me pulling off their legs and wings, and heads, and never said anything ; except that they were nasty things, and I must not let them soil my trousers: and Uncle Robson was there too, and he laughed, and said I wasa fine boy.” ‘« But what would your mamma say?” ‘Oh, she doesn’t care! she says it’s a pity to kill the pretty sing- ing birds, but the naughty sparrows, and mice and rats, I may do what I like with. So now, Miss Grey, you seeit is zof wicked,” ‘“T still think it is, Tom; and perhaps your papa and mamma would think so too, if they thought much about it.—However,” I internally added, ‘‘ they may say what they please, but I am determined you shall do nothing of the kind, as long as I have power to prevent it.”

He next took me across the lawn to see his mole-traps, and then into the stack-yard to see his weasel-traps : one of which, to his great joy, contained a dead weasel; and then into the stable to see, not the fine carriage horses, but a little rough colt, which he informed me had been bred on purpose for him, and he was to ride it as soon as it was properly trained, I tried to amuse

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AGNES GREY. 317 the little fellow, and listened to all his chatter as complacently as I could ; for I thought if he had any affections at all, I would endeavour to win them ; and then, in time, I might be able to show him the error of his ways: but I looked in vain for that generous, noble spirit his mother talked of; though I could see he was not without a certain degree of quickness and penetra- tion, when he chose to exert it. When we re-entered the house it was nearly tea-time. Master Tom told me that, as papa was from home, he and I and Mary Ann were to have tea with mamma, for a treat; for, on such occasions, she always dined at luncheon time with them, instead of at six o'clock. Soon after tea, Mary Ann went to bed, but Tom favoured us with his company and conversation till eight. After he was gone, Mrs.

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Broomfield further enlightened me on the subject of her children’s dispositions and acquirements, and on what they were to learn, and how they were to be managed, and cautioned me to mention their defects to no one but herself. My mother had warned me before to mention them as little as possible to Zev, for people did not like to be told of their children’s faults, andso I concluded I was to keep silenceon them altogether. About half-past nine, Mrs. Bloomfield invited me to partake of a frugal supper of cold meat and bread. I was glad when that was over, and she took her bedroom candlestick and retired to rest ; for though I wished to be pleased with her, her company was extremely irksome to me ; and I could not help feeling that she was cold, grave, and forbidding—the very opposite of the kind, warm-hearted matron my hopes had depicted her to be. ——— CHAPTER III. A FEW MORE LESSONS.

I ROSE next morning with a feeling of hopeful exhilaration, in spite of the disappointments already experienced ; but I found the dressing of Mary Ann was no light matter, as her abundant hair was to be smeared with pomade, plaited in three long tails, and tied with bows of ribbon: a task my unaccustomed fingers found great difficulty in performing. She told me her nurse could do it in half the time, and, by keeping up a constant fidget of impatience, contrived to render me still longer. When all

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• 318 AGNES GREY. was done, we went into the schoolroom, where I met my other pupil, and chatted with the two till it was time to go down to breakfast. That meal being concluded, and a few civil words having been exchanged with Mrs. Bloomfield, we repaired tothe schoolroom again, and commenced the busimess of the day. I found my pupils very backward, indeed; but Tom, though averse to every species of mental exertion, was not without abilities. _ Mary Ann could scarcely read a word, and was so careless and inattentive that I ‘could hardly get on with her at all. However, by dint of great labour and patience, I managed to get something done in the course of the morning, and then accompanied my young charge out into the garden and adjacent grounds, for a little recreation before dinner. There we got along tolerably together, except that I found they had no notion of going with me. I must go with 7zew wherever they chose to lead me.

I must run, walk, or stand, exactly as it suited their fancy. This, I thought, was reversing the order of things ; and I found it doubly disagreeable, as on this as well as subsequent occasions, they seemed to prefer the dirtiest places and the most dismal occupations. But there was no remedy; either I must follow them, or keep entirely apart from them, and thus appear neglectful of my charge. To-day, they manifested a particular attachment to a well at the bottom iof the lawn, where they per- sisted in dabbling with sticks and pebbles for above half-an-hour. Iwas im constant fear that their mother would see them from the window, and blame me for allowing them thus to draggle their clothes and wet their feet and hands, instead of taking exercise ; but no arguments, commands, or entreaties could draw them away.

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If she did not see them, some one else did—a gentleman on horseback had entered the gate and was proceeding up the road; at the distance of a few paces from us he paused, and calling to the children in a waspish penetrating tone, bade them “« Keep out of that water.” ‘‘ Miss Grey,’ said he, ‘‘(I suppose it zs Miss Grey,) I am surprised that you should allow them to dirty their clothes in that manner! Don’t you see how Miss Bloomfield has soiled her frock? and that Master Bloomfield’s socks are quite wet? and both of them without gloves? Dear, dear! Let me regwest that in future you wili keep them decent at least!” so'saying, he turned away, and continued his ride up to the house. This was Mr. Bloomfield. I was surprised that he should nominate his children Master and Miss Bloomfield ;

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AGNES GREY. 319 and still more so, that he should speak so wncivilly to me, their governess, and a perfect stranger to himself. Presently the bell rang tosummon usin. I dined with the children at one, while he and his lady took their luncheon at the same table. His conduct there did not greatly raise him in my estimation. He was a man of ordinary stature—rather below than above—and rather thin than stout, apparently between thirty and forty years of age: he had a large mouth, pale, dingy complexion, milky blue eyes, and hair the colour of a hempen cord, There was a roast leg of mutton before him: he helped Mrs. Bloomfield, the children, and me, desiring me to cut up the children’s meat ; then, after twisting about the mutton in various directions, and eyeing it from different points, he pronounced it not fit to be eaten, and called for the cold beef; “What is the matter with the mutton, my dear?” asked his mate, , “Tt is quite overdone.

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Don’t you taste, Mrs. Bloomfield, that all the goodness is roasted out of it? And can’t you see that all that nice, red gravy is completely dried away?” “Well I think the dcef will suit you.” The beef was set before him, and he began to carve, but with the most rueful expressions of discontent, ‘What is the matter with the dec, Mr. Bloomfield? I’m sure I thought it was very nice.” “And so it was very nice. A nicer joint could not be; but it. is guzte spoiled,” replied he dolefully. “‘How so?” “How so! Why, don’t you see how it is cut? Dear—dear ! it is quite shocking!” “They must have cut it wrong in the kitchen, then, for I’m sure I carved it quite properly here yesterday.” “No doubt they cut it wrong in ‘the kitchen—the savages ! Dear—dear! Did ever any one see such a fine piece of beef so completely ruined? But remember that, in future, when a decent dish leaves this table, they sball mot Zouch it in the kitchen, Remember ¢hat, Mrs.

Bloomfield !” Notwithstanding the ruinous state of the beef, the gentleman managed to cut himself some delicate slices, part of which he ate in silence. When he next spoke, it was, in a less querulous tone, to ask what there was for dinner. “Turkey and grouse,” was the concise reply.

• 320 AGNES GREY. » «And what besides?” Sishie ‘‘ What kind of fish?” « ‘T-don't know,” “« You don't know?” cried he, looking solemnly up from his plate, and suspending his knife and fork in astonishment. ‘No. I told the cook to get some fish—I did not particularise what.” f ‘‘Well, that beats everything! A lady professes to keep house, and doesn’t even know what fish is for dinner! professes to order fish, and doesn’t specify what !” ‘‘Perhaps, Mr. Bloomfield, you will order dinner yourself in future.” Nothing more was said ; and I was very glad to get out of the room with my pupils ; for I never felt so ashamed and uncomfort- able in my life for anything that was not my own fault.

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In the afternoon we applied to lessons again: then went out again ; then had tea in the schoolroom ; then I dressed Mary Ann for dessert ; and when she and her brother had gone down to the dining-room, I took the opportunity of beginning a letter to my dear friends at home : but the children came up before I had half completed it. At seven I had to put Mary Ann to bed ; then I played with Tom till eight, when he, too, went; and I finished my letter and unpacked my clothes, which I had hitherto found no opportunity for doing, and, finally, went to bed myself. But this is a very favourable specimen of a day’s proceed- ings. My task of instruction and surveillance, instead of becoming easier as my charges and I got better accustomed to each other, became more arduous as their characters unfolded. The name of governess, I soon found, was a mere mockery as applied to me: my pupils had no more notion of obedience than a wild; unbroken colt.

The habitual fear of their father’s peevish temper, and the dread of the punishments he was wont to inflict when irritated, kept them generally within bounds in his immediate presence. The girls, too, had some fear of their mother’s anger ; and the boy might occasionally be bribed to do as she bid him by the hope of reward: but I had no rewards to offer ; and as for punishments, I was given to understand, the parents reserved that privilege to themselves ; and yet they expected me to keep my pupils in order, Other children might be guided by the

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AGNES GREY. 321 fear of anger, and the desire of approbation; but neither the one nor the other had any effect upon these, Master Tom, not content with refusing to be ruled, must needs set up as a ruler, and manifested a determination to keep, not only his sisters, but his governess in order, by violent manual and pedal applications ; and, as he was a tall, strong boy of his years, this occasioned no trifling inconvenience. A few sound boxes on the ear, on such occasions, might have settled the matter easily enough : but as, in that case, he might make up some story to his mother, which she would be sure to believe, as she had such unshaken faith in his veracity—though I had already discovered it to be by no means unimpeachable—I determined to refrain from striking him, even in self-defence; and, in his most violent moods, my only resource was to throw him on his back, and hold his hands and feet till the frenzy was somewhat abated.

To the difficulty of preventing him from doing what he ought not, was added that of forcing him to do what he ought. Often he would positively refuse to learn, or to repeat his lessons, or even to look at his book. Here, again, a good birch rod might have been serviceable ; but, as my powers were so limited, I must make the best use of what I had. As there were no settled hours for study and play, I resolved to give my pupils a certain task, which, with moderate attention, they could perform ina short time; and till this was done, how- ever weary I was, or however perverse they might be, nothing short of parental interference should induce me to suffer them to leave the schoolroom ; even if I should sit with my chair against the door to keep them in. Patience, Firmness, and Perseverance, were my only weapons; and these I resolved to use to the utmost.

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I determined always strictly to fulfil the threats and promises I made; and, to that end, I must be cautious to threaten and promise nothing that I could not per- form. Then, I would carefully refrain from all useless irritability and indulgence of my own ill-temper: when they behaved toler- ably, I would be as kind and obliging as it was in my power to be, in order to make the widest possible distinction between good and bad conduct; I would reason with them, too, in the sim- plest and most effective manner. When I reproved them, or refused to gratify their wishes, after a glaring fault, it should be more in sorrow than in anger: their little hymns and prayers I would make plain and clear to their understanding ; when they L

• 322 AGNES GREY. said their prayers at night, and asked pardon for their offences, T would remind them of the sins of the past day, solemnly, but in perfect kindness, to avoid raising a spirit of opposition ; peni- tential hymns should be said by the naughty; cheerful ones by the comparatively good; and every kind of instruction I would convey to them, as much as possible, by entertaining discourse —apparently with no other object than their present amusement in view. By these means I hoped, in time, both to benefit the children and to gain the approbation of their parents; and also to con- vince my friends at home that I was not so wanting in skill and prudence as they supposed. I knew the difficulties I had to contend with were great ; but I knew (at least I believed) unre- mitting patience and perseverance could overcome them; and night and morning I implored Divine assistance to this end.

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But either the children were so incorrigible, the parents so unreasonable, or myself so mistaken in my views, or so unable to carry them out, that my best intentions and most strenuous efforts seemed productive of no better result than sport to the children, dissatisfaction to their parents, and torment to myself. The task of instruction was as arduous for the body as the mind. I had to run after my pupils to catch them, to carry or drag them to the table, and often forcibly to hold them there till the lesson was done. Tom I frequently put into a corner, seat- ing myself before him in a chair, with a book which contained the little task that must be said or read, before he was released, in my hand.

He was not strong enough to push both me and the chair away, so he would stand twisting his body and face into the most grotesque and singular contortions—laughable, no doubt, to an unconcerned spectator, but not to me—and uttering loud yells and doleful outcries, intended to represent weeping, but wholly without the accompaniment of tears, I knew this was done solely for the purpose of annoying me ; and, therefore, however I might inwardly tremble with impatience and irritation, I manfully strove to suppress all visible signs of molestation, and affected to sit with calm indifference, waiting till it should please him to cease this pastime, and prepare for a run in the garden, by casting his eye on the book and reading or repeating the few words he was required to say, Sometimes he was determined to do his writing badly ; and I had to hold

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AGNES GREY. 323 his hand to prevent him from purposely blotting or disfiguring the paper. Frequently I threatened that, if he did not do better, he should have another line : then he would stubbornly refuse to write this line ; and I, to save my word, had finally to resort to the expedient of holding his fingers upon the pen, and forcibly drawing his hand up and down, till, in spite of his resistance, the line was in some sort completed. Yet Tom was by.no means the most unmanageable of my pupils : sometimes, to my great joy, he would have the sense to see that his wisest policy was to finish his tasks, and go out and amuse himself till I and his sisters came to join him ; which fre- quently was not at all, for Mary Ann seldom followed his example in this particular: she apparently preferred rolling on the floor to any other amusement: down she would drop like a leaden weight ; and when I, with great difficulty, had succeeded in rooting her thence, I had still to hold her up with one arm, while with the other I held the book from which she was to read or spell herlesson.

As the dead weight of the big girl of six became too heavy for oné arm to bear, I transferred it to the other; or, if both were weary of the burden, I carried her into a corner, and told her she might come out when she should find the use of her feet, and stand up: but she generally preferred lying there like a log till dinner or tea time, when, as I could not deprive her of her meals, she must be liberated, and would come crawling out with a grin of triumph on her round, red face. Often she would stubbornly refuse to pronounce some particular word in her lesson ; and now I regret the lost labour I have had in striving to conquer her obstinacy.

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If I had passed it over as a matter of no consequence, it would have been better for both parties, than vainly striving to overcome it as I did; but I thought it my absolute duty to crush this vicious tendency in the bud; and so it was, if I could have done it ; and, had my powers been less limited, I might have enforced obedience ; but, as it was, it was a trial of strength between her and me, in which she generally came off victorious ; and every victory served to encourage and strengthen her for a future contest. In vain I argued, coaxed, entreated, threatened, scolded ; in vain I kept her in from play, or, if obliged to take her out, refused to play with her, or to speak kindly, or have anything to do with her; in vain I tried to set before her the advantages of doing as she was bid, and being loved, and kindly treated in consequence, and the disadvantages

• 324 AGNES GREY. of persisting in her absurd perversity. Sometimes, when she would ask me to do something for her, I would answer— “Yes, I will, Mary Ann, if you will only say that word. Come! you'd better say it at once, and have no more trouble about it.” NO ‘« Then, of course, I can do nothing for you.” With me, at her age, or under, neglect and disgrace were the most dreadful of punishments ; but on her they made no impres- sion. Sometimes, exasperated to the utmost pitch, I would shake her violently by the shoulder, or pull her long hair, or put her in the corner ; for which she punished me with loud, shrill, piercing screams, that went through my head like a knife. She knew I hated this, and when she had shrieked her utmost, would look into my face with an air of vindictive satisfaction, exclaiming— “Now, then! zhat’sfor you!’’ And then shriek again and again, till I was forced to stop my ears.

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Often these dreadful cries would bring Mrs, Bloomfield up to inquire what was the matter? ‘‘Mary Ann is a naughty girl, ma’am.” “But what are these shocking screams ?”’ «She is screaming in a passion.” “IT never heard such a dreadful noise! You might be killing her. Why is she not out with her brother ?”’ “T cannot get her to finish her lessons.” “But Mary Ann must be a good girl, and finish her lessons.”’ This was blandly spoken to the child. ‘‘ And I hope I shall never hear such terrible cries again!” And fixing her cold, stony eyes upon me with a look that could not be mistaken, she would shut the door, and walk away. Some- times I would try to take the little obstinate creature by surprise, and casually ask her the word while she was thinking of something else ; frequently she would begin to say it, and then suddenly check herself, with a provoking look that seemed to say, ‘‘ Ah!

I'm too sharp for you; you shan’t trick it out of me, either.”’ On another occasion, I pretended to forget the whole affair ; and talked and played with her as usual, till night, when I put her to bed ; then bending over her, while she lay all smiles and good-humour, just before departing, I said, as cheerfully and kindly as before— : “Now, Mary Ann, just tell me that word before I kiss you good-night: you are a good girl now, and, of course, you will Say it.”

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AGNES GREY. 325 “*No, I won't.” “Then I can’t kiss you.” ‘Well, I don’t care.”’ In vain I expressed my sorrow; in vain I lingered for some symptom of contrition ; she really ‘‘didn’t care,” and I left her alone, and in darkness, wondering most of all at this last proof of insensate stubbornness. In my childhood I could not imagine a more afflictive punishment, than for my mother to refuse to kiss me at night: the very idea was terrible. More than the idea I never felt, for, happily, I never committed a fault that was deemed worthy of such a penalty ; but once I remember, for some transgression of my sister's, our mother thought proper to inflict it upon her: what se felt, I cannot tell; but my sym- pathetic tears and suffering for her sake, I shall not soon forget. Another troublesome trait in Mary Ann, was her incorrigible propensity to keep running into the nursery, to play with her little sisters and the nurse.

This was natural enough, but, as it was against her mother’s express desire, I, of course, forbade her to do so, and did my utmost to keep her with me; but that only increased her relish for the nursery, and the more I strove to keep her out of it, the oftener she went, and the longer she stayed: to the great dissatisfaction of Mrs, Bloomfield, who, I well knew, would impute all the blame of the matter to me. Another of my trials was the dressing in the morning: at one time she would not be washed; at another she would not be dressed, unless she might wear some particular frock, that I knew her mother would not like her to have; at another she would scream and run away if I attempted to touch her hair.

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So that, frequently, when, after much trouble and toil, I had, at length, succeeded in bringing her down, the breakfast was nearly half over; and black looks from ‘‘mamma,” and testy obser- vations from ‘‘ papa,” spoken at me, if not to me, were sure to be my meed: for few things irritated the latter so much as want of punctuality at meal times. Then, among the minor annoyances, was my inability to satisfy Mrs. Bloomfield with her daughter’s dress ; and the child’s hair ‘‘ was never fit to be seen.’’ Sometimes, as a powerful reproach to me, she would perform the office of tire-woman herself, and then complain bitterly of the trouble it gave her. When little Fanny came into the schoolroom, I hoped she would be mild and inoffensive, at least ; but a few days, if not

• 326 AGNES GREY. a few hours, sufficed to destroy the illusion: I found her a mis- chievous, intractable little creature, given up to falsehood and deception, young as she was, and alarmingly fond of exercising her two favourite weapons of offence and defence; that of spitting in the faces of those who incurred her displeasure, and bellowing like a bull when her unreasonable desires were not gratified. As she, generally, was pretty quiet in her parents’ presence, and they were impressed with the notion of her being a remarkably gentle child, her falsehoods were readily believed, and her loud uproars led them to suspect harsh and injudicious treatment on my part; and when, at length, her bad disposition became manifest even to their prejudiced eyes, I felt that the whole was attributed to me. “What a naughty girl Fanny is getting!” Mrs. Bloomfield would say to her spouse.

‘‘ Don’t you observe, my dear, how she is altered since she entered the schoolroom? She will soon be as bad as the other two; and, I am sorry to say, they have quite deteriorated of late.” “You may say that,” was the answer. ‘‘I’ve been thinking that same myself. I thought when we got them a governess they'd improve ; but, instead of that, they get worse and worse: I don’t know how it is with their learning ; but their habits, I know, make no sort of improvement; they get rougher, and dirtier, and more unseemly, every day.”

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I knew this was all pointed at me; and these, and all similar innuendoes, affected me far more deeply than any open accu- sations would have done ; for against the latter I should have been roused to speak in my own defence: now I judged it my wisest plan to subdue every resentful impulse, suppress every sensitive shrinking, and go on perseveringly, doing my best; for, irksome as my situation was, I earnestly wished to retain it. I thought, if I could struggle on with unremitting firm- ness and integrity, the children would in time become more humanised: every month would contribute to make them some little wiser, and, consequently, more manageable; for a child of nine or ten as frantic and ungovernable as these at six and seven would be a maniac, I flattered myself I was benefiting my parents and sister by my continuance here; for.smallas the salary was, I still was earning something, and with strict economy I could easily manage to have something to spare for them, if they would favour me by taking

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AGNES GREY. 327 it. Then it was by my own will that I had got the place: I had brought all this tribulation on myself, and I was determined to bear it; nay, more than that, I did not even regret the step I had taken. I longed to show my friends that, even now, I was competent to undertake the charge, and able to acquit myself honourably to the end; and if ever I felt it degrading to submit so quietly, or intolerable to toil so constantly, I would turn towards my home, and say within myself— ** They may crush, but they shall not subdue me! *Tis of thee that I think, not of them.” About Christmas I was allowed to visit home; but my holiday was only of a fortnight’s duration: ‘‘ for,” said Mrs. Bloomfield, “‘T thought, as you had seen your friends so lately, you would not care for a longer stay.”

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J left her,to think so still: but she little knew how long, how wearisome those fourteen weeks of absence had been to me; how intensely I had longed for my holidays, how greatly I was disappointed at their curtailment. Yet she was not to blame in this; I had never told her my feelings, and she could not be expected to divine them; I had not been with her a full term, and she was justified in not allow- ing me a full vacation, —}+— CHAPTER IV. THE GRANDMAMMA, I SPARE my readers the account of my delight on coming home, my happiness while there—enjoying a brief space of rest and liberty in that dear, familiar place, among the loving and the loved—and my sorrow on being obliged to bid them, once more, a long adieu.

I returned, however, with unabated vigour to my work—a more arduous task than any one can imagine, who has not felt something like the misery of being charged with the care and direction of a set. of mischievous turbulent rebels, whom his utmost exertions cannot bind to their duty ; while, at the same time, he is responsible for their conduct to a higher power, who exacts from him what cannot be achieved without the aid of the superior’s more potent authority: which, either from indolence, or the fear of becoming unpopular with the said rebellious gang,

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• 328 AGNES GREY, the latter refuses to give. I can conceive few situations more harassing than that wherein, however you may long for success, however you may labour to fulfil your duty, your efforts are baffled and set at naught by those beneath you, and unjustly censured and misjudged by those above. I have not enumerated half the vexatious propensities of my pupils, or half the troubles resulting from my heavy responsi- bilities, for fear of trespassing too much upon the reader’s patience ;, as, perhaps, I have already done: but my design, in writing the few last pages, was not to amuse, but to benefit those whom it might concern: he that has no interest in such matters will doubtless have skipped them over with a cursory glance, and, perhaps, a malediction against the prolixity of the writer ; but if a parent has, therefrom, gathered any useful hint, or an unfortunate governess received thereby the slightest benefit, I am well rewarded for my pains.

To avoid trouble and confusion, I have taken my pupils one by one, and discussed their various qualities; but this can give no adequate idea of being worried by the whole three together ; when, as was often the case, all were determined to ‘‘ be naughty, and to tease Miss Grey, and put her in a passion,” Sometimes, on such occasions, the thought had suddenly occurred to me—‘‘If zhey could see me now!” meaning, of course, my friends at home; and the idea of how they would pity me has made me pity myself—so greatly that I have had the utmost difficulty to restrain my tears ; but I have restrained them, till my little tormentors were gone to dessert, or cleared off to bed (my only prospects of deliverance), and then, in all the bliss of solitude, I have given myself up to the luxury of an unrestricted burst of weeping.

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But this was a weakness I did not often indulge: my employments were too numerous, my leisure moments too precious, to admit of much time being given to fruitless lamentations. I particularly remember one wild, snowy afternoon, soon after my return in January ; the children had all come up from dinner, loudly declaring that they meant ‘‘ to be naughty ;” and they had well kept their resolution, though I had talked myself hoarse, and wearied every muscle in my throat, in the vain attempt to reason them out of it, I had got Tom pinned up in a corner, whence, I told him, he should not escape till he had done his appointed task, Meantime, Fanny had possessed herself of my work-bag,

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AGNES GREY. 329° and was rifling its contents—and spitting into it besides. I told her to let it alone, but to no purpose, of course, ‘‘ Burn it, Fanny !” cried Tom ; and ¢#zs command she hastened to obey. I sprang to snatch it from the fire, and Tom darted to the door. ““Mary Ann, throw her desk out of the window !” cried he: and my precious desk, containing my letters and papers, my small amount of cash, and all my valuables, was about to be precipitated from the three-storey window. I flew to rescue it. Meanwhile - Tom had left the room, and was rushing down the stairs, followed by Fanny. Having secured my desk, I ran to catch them, and Mary Ann came scampering after. All three escaped me, and ran out of the house into the garden, where they plunged about in the snow, shouting and screaming in exultant glee. What must I do?

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IfI followed them, I should probably be unable to capture one, and only drive them farther away ; if I did not, how was I to get them in? and what would their parents think of me, if they saw or heard the children rioting, hatless, bonnetless, gloveless, and bootless, in the deep, soft snow? While I stood in this perplexity, just without the door, trying, by grim looks and angry words, to awe them into subjection, I heard a voice behind me, in harshly piercing tones exclaiming— ““Miss Grey! Isit possible? What, in the devil’s name, can you be thinking about?” **T can't get them in, sir,” said I, turning round, and behold- ing Mr. Bloomfield, with his hair on end, and his pale blue eyes bolting from their sockets, “But I INSIST upon their being got in!” cried he, approach- ing nearer, and looking perfectly ferocious. ‘‘Then, sir, you must call them yourself, if you please, for they won’t listen to me,’’ I replied, stepping back.

‘‘Come in with you, you filthy brats ; or I'll horsewhip you every one!” roared he; and the children instantly obeyed, ‘“ There, you see! they come at the first word!” ““Yes, when you speak.” ‘And it’s very strange, that when you've the care of ’em, you've no better control over them than that !—Now, there they are—gone upstairs with their nasty snowy feet! Do go after’em and see them made'decent, for Heaven’s sake!” That gentleman’s mother was then staying in the house ; and, as I ascended the stairs and passed the drawing-room door, I had the satisfaction of hearing the old lady declaiming aloud to her L2

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• 330 AGNES GREY. daughter-in-law to this effect (for I could only distinguish the most.emphatic: words)— “Gracious Heavens !——never im al! my life——!, ——get their death as sure as——! Do you think, my dear, she’s a proper persow? ‘Take my word for it.” E heard no more ; but that sufficed. The senior Mrs, Bloomfield had been. very attentive:and civil to me’; and till now, I had thought her a nice, kind-hearted, chatty old body. She would often come to meand talk in a con- fidential strain; nodding and'shaking her head, and gesticulating with hands and. eyes, as a certain class of old ladies are wont to do = though I never knew one that carried the peculiarity to so great an extent.

She would even sympathise with me for the trouble I had with the children, and express at times, by half sentences, interspersed with nods and knowing winks,, her sense of the injudicious conduct of their mamma in so restricting my power, and neglecting to support me with her authority. Such a mode of testifying disapprobation was not much to my taste; and I generally refused to take it in, or understand anything more: than was openly spoken; at least, I never went farther tham am implied acknowledgment that, if matters were otherwise ordered, my task would be a less difficult one, and I should be better able to guide and instruct my charge ; but now I must be doubly cautious. Hitherto, though I saw the old lady had her defects (of which one was a proneness to proclaim her perfections), I had always been wishful to excuse them, and to give her credit for all the virtues she professed, and even imagine others yet un- told.

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Kindness, which had been the food of my life through so many years, had lately been so entirely denied me, that I wel- comed with grateful joy the:slightest semblance of it. No wonder, then, that my heart warmed. to the old lady, and always glad- dened at her approach and regretted her departure. But now, the few words luckily or unluckily heard in passing had wholly revolutionised my ideas respecting her: now I looked upon her as hypocritical and insincere, a flatterer, and aspy upon my words and deeds. Doubtless it would have:been my interest stilLto meet her with the same:cheerful smile and tone of respectful cordiality as before; but. I. could not, if I would: my manner altered: with my feelings, and became so cold and shy that she could not. fail to notice it. She soom did. notice it, and ier manner alteredtoo: the:familiar nod was changed toa stiff bow,

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AGNES GREY. 33 the gracious smile gave place to a glare of Gorgon ferocity ; her vivacious loquacity was entirely transferred from me to ‘the darling boys and girls,” whom she flattered and indulged more absurdly than ever their mother had done. I confess I was somewhat troubled at this change: I feared'the consequences of her displeasure, and even made some efforts.to recover the ground I had lost—and with better apparent success than I could haveanticipated. At one time, I, merely in common civility, asked after her cough ; immediately her long visage re- jaxed into a smile, and she favoured me with a particular history of that and her other infirmities, followed by an account of her pious resignation, delivered in the usual emphatic, declamatory style, which no writing can portray. ‘* But there’s one remedy for all, my dear, and that’s resigna- tion” (a toss of the head), ‘‘resignatior to the will of Heaven !”

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(an uplifting of the hands and eyes). ‘It has always supported: me through all my trials, and always will do” (a succession of nods). ‘*‘ But then, it isn’t everybody that can say that”’ (a shake of the head); ‘‘but I’m one of the pious ones, Miss Grey!” (a very significant nod and toss). ‘‘ And, thank Heaven, I always was” (another nod), ‘‘and I glory in it !’” (an emphatic clasping of the hands and shaking of the head). And with several texts of Scripture, misquoted or misapplied, and religious exclamations so redolent of the ludicrous in the style of delivery and manner of bringing in, if not in the expressions themselves, that I decline repeating them, she withdrew; tossing her large head in high’ good-humour—with herself at least—and left me hoping that, afterall, she was rather weak than wicked. At her next visit to Wellwood House, I went so far as to’ say’ I was glad to see her looking so well.

The effect of this was magical: the words, intended asa mark of civility, were received as a flattering compliment ; her countenance brightened up, and from that moment she became as gracious and benign as heart could wish—in outward semblance at leasi. From what I now saw of her, and what I heard from the children, I knew that, im order to gain her cordial friendship, I had but to utter a word of flattery at each convenient opportunity : but this was against my principles ; and for lack of this, the capricious old dame soon - deprived me of her favour again, and’ I believe did me much secret injury. She could not greatly influence her daughter-in-law against me,.

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• 332 AGNES GREY. because, between that lady and herself, there was a mutual dis- like—chiefly shown by her in secret detractions and calumnia- tions; by the other, in an excess of frigid formality in her demeanour; and no fawning flattery of the elder could thaw away the wall-of ice which the younger interposed between them. : But with her son, the old lady had better success : he would listen toallshe had to say, provided she could soothe his fretful temper, and refrain from irritating him by her own asperities ; and I have reason to believe that she considerably strengthened his prejudice against me. She would tell him that I shamefully neglected the children, and even-his wife did not attend to them as she ought ; and that he must look after them himself, or they would all go to ruin.

Thus urged, he would frequently give himself the trouble of watching them from the windows during their play ; at times, he would follow them through the grounds, and too often came suddenly upon them while they were dabbling in the forbidden well, talking to the coachman in the stables, or revelling in the filth of the farm-yard—and I, meanwhile, wearily standing by, having previously exhausted my energy in vain attempts to get them away. Often, too, he would unexpectedly pop his head into the schoolroom while the young people were at meals, and find them spilling their milk over the table and themselves, plunging their fingers into their own or each other’s mugs, or quatrelling over their victuals like a set of tiger's cubs.

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If I were quiet at the moment, I was conniving at their disorderly conduct; if (as was frequently the case) I happened to be exalting my voice to enforce order, I was using undue violence, and setting the girlsa bad example by such ungentleness cf toneandlanguage. I remember one afternoon in spring when, owing to the rain, they could not go out; but, by some amazing good fortune, they had all finished their lessons, and yet abstained from running down to tease their parents—a trick that annoyed me greatly, but which, on rainy days, I seldom could prevent their doing; because, below, they found novelty and amusement— especially when visitors were in the house; and their mother, though she bid me keep them in the schoolroom, would never chide them for leaving it, or trouble herself to send them back.

But this day they appeared satisfied with their present abode, and what is more wonderful still, seemed disposed to play to- gether without depending on me for amusement, and without

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-AGNES GREY. 333 quarrelling with each other. ‘Their occupation was a somewhat puzzling one: they were all squatted together on the floor by the window, over a heap of broken toys and a quantity of birds’ eggs —or rather eggshells, for the contents had luckily been abstracted. These shells they had broken up and were pounding into small fragments, to what end I could not imagine; but so long as they were quiet and not in positive mischief, I did not care; and, with a feeling of unusual repose, I sat by the fire, putting the finishing stitches to a frock for Mary Ann’s doll; intending, when that was done, to begin a letter to my mother. Suddenly, the door opened, and the dingy head of Mr. Bloomfield looked in. ‘* All very quiet here! What are you doing?” saidhe. ‘‘ No harm /o-day, at least,” thought I.

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But he was of a different opinion, Advancing to the window, and seeing the children’s -occupations, he testily exclaimed—‘‘ What in the world are you about ?” “We're grinding egg-shells, papa!” cried Tom. “‘ How dare you make such a mess, you little devils? Don't you see what confounded work you’re making of the carpet?” (the carpet was a plain, brown drugget). ‘‘ Miss Grey, did you know what they were doing?” ‘Yes; sir.” “Vou knew it?” caVesen “You kvew it! and you actually sat there and permitted them to go on, without a word of reproof!” ‘“‘T didn’t think they were doing any harm.” “‘Anyharm! Why, look there! Just look at that carpet, and “see—was there ever anything like it in a Christian house before ? No wonder your room is not fit for a pigsty—no wonder your pupils are worse than a litter of pigs !—no wonder—Oh!

I de- clare, it puts me quite past my patience!’ and he departed, shut- ting the door after him with a bang, that made the children laugh. “It puts me quite past my patience too!" muttered I, getting up; and, seizing the poker, I dashed it repeatedly into the cinders, and stirred them up with unwonted energy ; thus easing my irritation, under pretence of mending the fire. After this, Mr. Bloomfield was continually looking in to see if the schoolroom was in order; and, as the children were continu- ally littering the floor with fragments of toys, sticks, stones, stubble, leaves, and other rubbish, which I could not prevent

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• 334 (AGNES GREY. their bringing, or oblige them to gather up, and which the servants refused to ‘‘clean after them,” I had to spend a-con- siderable portion of my valuable leisure moments.on my knees. upon the floor, in painfully reducing things to order, Once I told them that they should not taste their supper till they had picked up everything from the carpet; Fanny might have hers when she had taken up a certain quantity, Mary Ann when she had gathered twice as many, and Tom was to clear away the rest. Wonderful to state, the girls did their part ; but Tom was in such a fury that he flew upon the table, scattered the bread and milk about the floor, struck his sisters, kicked the coals out of the coal-pan, attempted to overthrow the table and chairs, and seemed inclined to makeia Douglas-larder of the whole contents of the room: but I seized upon him, and, sending Mary Ann to call her mamma, held him, in spite of kicks, blows, yells, and execrations, till Mrs.

Bloomfield made her appearance. ‘«What is the matter with my boy?” said she. And when the matter was explained to her, all she did was to send for the nursery-maid to put the room in order, and bring Master Bloomfield his supper. ““There now,” cried Tom triumphantly, looking up from his viands with his mouth almost too full for speech.. “‘ There now, Miss Grey : you see I have got my supper in spite of you: and I haven’t picked up a single thing !” The only person in the house who had any real sympathy for me was the nurse ; ‘for she had suffered like afflictions, though in a smaller degree; as she had not the task of teaching, nor was sheso responsible for the conduct of her charge. “Oh, Miss Grey !” she would say, ‘you. have some trouble with them childer !” “‘T have indeed, Betty ; and I dare say you know what it is,’’ “Ay, I.do so!

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But I don’t vex myself o'er ’em as you do, And then, you see, I hit ’em a slap sometimes: and them little uns—l gives ‘ema good whipping now and then: there’s nothing else will do for 'em, as what theysay. Howsoever, I’ve lost my place for it.” “Have you, Betty? I heard you were going to leave.” ‘Eh, bless you, yes! Missis gave me warning a three-wik sin’. She:told me afore Christmas how it mud be, if I hit ’em again; but T-couldn’t hold my hand off’em at nothing. I know not how you do, for Miss Mary Ann’s worse by the half nor her sisters!"

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AGNES ‘GREY, 335 CHAPTER 'V. THE UNCLE. BESIDES the old Jady, there was another relative of the family, whose visits were a great annoyance to me—this was ‘‘ Uncle Robson,” Mrs. Bloomfield’s brother ; a tall, self-sufficient fellow, with dark hair:and:sallow complexion like his sister, a nose that seemed to disdain the earth, and little grey eyes, frequently half closed, with.a mixture of real stupidity and affected contempt of all surrounding objects. ‘He was a thick-set, strongly-built man, but he had found some means of compressing his waist into a remarkably small compass ; and that, together with the unnatural stiffness of his form, showed that the lofty-minded, manly Mr.

Robson, the scorner of the female sex, was not above the foppery of stays, He seldom deigned to notice me; and, when he did, it was with a certain supercilious insolence of tone and manner that convinced me he was no gentleman.; though.it was intended to have a contrary effect. But it was not for that I disliked his coming, so much as forthe harm he did the children—encour- aging all their evil propensities, and undoing, ina few minutes, the little good it had taken me months of labour to achieve. Fanny and little Harriet he seldom condescended to notice ; but Mary Ann was something of a favourite.

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He was continually encouraging her tendency to affectation (which I had done my utmost to:crush), talking about her pretty face, and filling her head with all manner of conceited notions concerning her personal ap- pearance (which I had instructed her to regard as dust in the balance compared with the:cultivation of her mind and manners) ; and I never saw a child so susceptible of flattery as she was. Whatever was wrong, in either her or her brother, he would encourage by laughing /at, if not by actually praising: people little know the injury they do to children by laughing sat their faults, and making a pleasant jest of what their true friends have endeavoured to teach them to hold in grave abhorrence. Though not a positive drunkard, Mr. Robson habitually swal- lowed great quantities of wine, and took with relish an occasional glass of brandyand:water.

He taught his nephew to imitate him in this to the utmost of his ability, and ito believe that the more wine and spirits he could take, and the better he liked them, the more he manifested his bold.and manly spirit, and rose superior to his sisters. Mr. Bloomfield had not much to:say againstiit, for his

• 3 36 AGNES GREY. favourite beverage was gin and water ; of which he took a conside- rable portion every day, by dint of constant sipping—and to that, I chiefly attributed his dingy complexion and waspish temper. Mr. Robson likewise encouraged Tom’s propensity to perse- cute the lower creation, both by precept and example. As he fre- quently came to course or shoot over his brother-in-law’s grounds, he would bring his favourite dogs with him ; and he treated them so brutally that, poor as I was, I would have given a sovereign any day to see one of them bite him, provided the animal could have done it with impunity.

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Sometimes, when in a very com- placent mood, he would go a bird-nesting with the children: a thing that irritated and annoyed me exceedingly ; as, by frequent and persevering attempts, I flattered myself I had partly shown them the evil of this pastime, and hoped, in time, to bring them to some general sense of justice and humanity ; but ten minutes’ bird-nesting with Uncle Robson, or even a laugh from him at some relation of their former barbarities, was sufficient at once to destroy the effect of my whole elaborate course of reasoning and persuasion.

Happily, however, during that spring, they never, but once, got anything but empty nests, or eggs—being too impatient to leave them till the birds were hatched ; that once, Tom, who had been with his uncle into the neighbouring planta- tion, came running in high glee into the garden, with a brood of little callow nestlings in his hands, Mary Annand Fanny, whom I was just bringing out, ran to admire his spoils, and to beg each a bird for themselves. ‘‘No, notone!’’ cried Tom, ‘‘ They’re all mine: Uncle Robson gave them to me—one, two, three, four, five—you shan’t touch one of them! no, not. one, for your lives !”’ continued he exultingly ; laying the nest on the ground, and standing over it with his legs wide apart, his hands thrust into his breeches-pockets, his body bent forward, and his face twisted into all manner of contortions in the ecstacy of his delight. ‘‘But you shall see me fettle ’em off. My word, but I wzdZ wallop ’em!

See if I don’t now. By gum! but there’s rare sport for me in that nest.” ‘But, Tom,” said I, ‘‘I shall not allow you to torture those birds. They must either be killed at once or carried back to the place you took them from, that the old birds may continue to feed them,” ‘But you don’t know where that is, madam: it’s only me and Uncle Robson that knows that.”

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AGNES GREY, 337 “* But if you don’t tell me, I shall kill them myself—much as I hate it,” “You daren’t. You daren’t touch them for your life! because you know papa and mamma, and Uncle Robson, would be angry. Ha, ha! I’ve caught you there, miss!” “T shall do what I think right in a case of this sort + without consulting any one. If your papa and mamma don’t happen to approve of it, I shall be sorry to offend them; but your Uncle Robson’s opinions, of course, are nothing to me.” So saying—urged by a sense of duty—at the risk of both mak- ing myself sick and incurring the wrath of my employers—I got a large flat stone, that had been reared up for a mouse-trap by the gardener, then, having once more vainly endeavoured to per- suade the little tyrant to let the birds be carried back, I asked what he intended to do-with them.

With fiendish glee he com- menced a list of torments ; and while he was busied in the rela- -tion, I dropped the stone upon his intended victims and crushed them flat beneath it. Loud were the outcries, terrible the execra- tions, consequent upon this daring outrage; Uncle Robson had been coming up the walk with his gun, and was just then paus- ing to kick his dog. Tom flew towards him, vowing he would make him kick me instead of Juno. Mr. Robson leant upon his gun, and laughed excessively at the violence of his nephew’s passion, and the bitter maledictions and opprobrious epithets he heaped upon me. ‘‘ Well, you ave a good ’un!” exclaimed he, at length, taking up his weapon and proceeding towards the house. ‘‘Damme, but the lad has some spunk in him, too. Curse me, if ever I saw a nobler little scoundrel than that. He's beyond petticoat government already : by God ! he defies mother, granny, governess, and all! Ha, ha, ha!

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Never mind, Tom, ll get you another brood to-morrow.” ““If you do, Mr. Robson, I shall kill them too,” said I. “‘Humph!” replied he, and having honoured me with a broad stare—which, contrary to his expectations, I sustained without flinching—he turned away with an air of supreme contempt, and stalked into the house. Tom next went to tell his mamma, It was not her way to say much on any subject; but, when she next saw me, her aspect and demeanour were doubly dark and chill, After some casual remark about the weather, she ob- served— ‘‘T am sorry, Miss Grey, you should think it necessary to in-

• 338 AGNES ‘GREY. terfere with Master Bloomfield’s amusements; he was very much distressed about your destroying the birds.” «When Master Bloomfield’siamusements consist in injuring sen- tient creatures,” I-answered, ‘‘I think it my duty to interfere.’’ | “You seemed to have forgotten,” said she calmly, “ that the ‘creatures were all created for our convenience.” I thought that doctrine admitted some doubt, but merely re- plied— ‘Tf they were, we have no right to torment ‘them for our amusement.” “‘T think,” ‘said she, ‘‘a child’s amusement is scarcely to be weighed against the welfare of a soulless brute,” “But, for the child’s own sake, it ought not to be encouraged ‘to have such amusements,” answered I, as meekly as I could, to make up for such unusual pertinacity. ‘‘‘ Blessed are the merci- ful, for they shall obtain mercy.’” ‘““Oh! of course ; but that refers to our'conduct towards each other.”

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““« The merciful man shows mercy to his beast,’” I ventured to add. “J think you have not shown much mercy,” replied she with a short, bitter laugh ; ‘‘killing the poor birds by wholesale in that shocking manner, and ‘putting the dear boy to such misery for a mere whim.” T judged it prudent to say no more. This was the nearest approach to .a:quarrel I ever had with Mrs, Bloomfield; as well as the greatest number ‘of words I ever exchanged with her at one time, since'the day of my first arrival. But Mr. Robson and old Mrs. Bloomfield were mot the only guests whose coming to Wellwood House annoyed me; every visi- tor disturbed me more or less; not so much because they neglected me (though I did feel their conduct strange and disagreeable in that respect)'as because I found it impossible to keep my pupils away from them, as I was repeatedly desired to do: Tom must talk to them, and Mary Ann must be noticed by them.

Neither the one nor the other knew what it was to feel any degree of shame-facedness, or even common modesty. They would in- decently and clamorously interrupt the conversation. of their elders, tease them ‘with ‘the most impertinent «questions, roughly collar the gentlemen, climb their knees uninvited, hang about their shoulders ‘or rifle their pockets, pull the ladies’ gowns,

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AGNES GREY. 339 disorder ‘their hair, tumble their collars, and importunately beg for their trinkets. Mrs. Bloomfield had the'sense'to be shocked and annoyed iat all this, but she had not sense to prevent it: sheexpected me to prevent it. But how could I—when the guests, with their fine clothes and new faces, continually flattered and indulged them, out of complaisance to their parents—how could /, with my homely garments, everyday face, and honest words, draw them away ? I strained every nerve to do so: by striving to amuse them, I endeavoured to attract them tomy side; by the exertion of such authority as I possessed, and by such severity as I dared to use, I tried to deter them from tormenting the ‘guests; and by re- proaching their unmannerly conduct, to make them ashamed to repeat it.

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But they knew no shame; they ‘scorned authority which had no terrors to back it; and as ‘for kindness and affec- tion, either they had no hearts, or such as they had were so strongly guarded, and ‘so well concealed, that I, with all my efforts, had not yet discovered how to reach them. But soon my trials in this quarter came'to.a close—sooner than I either expected or desired; for one sweet evening towards the close of May, as I was rejoicing in the near approach of the holi- days, and congratulating myself upon having made some progress with my pupils (as far as their learning went at least, for I had instilled something into their heads, and I had at length brought them to be a little—a very little—more rational about getting their lessons done in time to leave some space for recreation, instead of tormenting themselves and me all day long to no purpose), Mrs.

Bloomfield sent for me, and icalmly told me that after Midsummer my services would be no longer required. She assured me that my character and general conduct ‘were um- exceptionable ; ‘but the children had made so little improvement since my arrival, that Mr. Bloomfield and she felt it their duty to'seek someother mode iof instruction. Though superior to most children of their years in abilities, they were decidedly behind them in attainments: their manners were uncultivated, and their tempers unruly. And this:she attributed to a want of sufficient firmness, and diligent, persevering care on my part. Unshaken firmness, devoted diligence, unwearied perseverance, unceasing care, were the very qualifications on which I ‘had secretly prided myself; and by which I had hoped in timedo overcome all difficulties, and obtainsuccess at last. I wished to s

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• 340 AGNES GREY. ‘say something in my own justification: but in attempting to speak, I felt my voice falter; and rather than testify any emotion, or suffer the tears to overflow that were already gathering in my eyes, I chose to keep silence, and bear all like a self-convicted culprit. Thus was I dismissed, and thus I sought my home. Alas! what would they think of me? unable, after all my boasting, to keep my place, even for a single year, as governess to three small children, whose mother was asserted by my own aunt to be a ‘‘very nice woman.” Having been thus weighed in the balance and found wanting, I need not hope they would be will- ing to try me again. And this was an unwelcome thought ; for ‘vexed, harassed, disappointed as I had been, and greatly as I had learned to love and value my home, I was not yet weary of adventure, nor willing to relax my efforts. I knew that all parents were not like Mr. and Mrs.

Bloomfield, and I was certain all children were not like theirs. The next family must be different, and any change must be for the better. I had been seasoned by adversity, and tutored by experience, and I longed to redeem my lost honour in the eyes of those whose opinion was more than -that of all the world to me. —H— CHAPTER VI. THE PARSONAGE AGAIN, For a few months I remained peaceably at home, in the quiet enjoyment of liberty and rest, and genuine friendship, from all of which I had fasted so long; and in the earnest prosecution of my studies, to recover what I had lost during my stay at Well- wood House, and to lay in new stores for future use. My father's health was still very infirm, but not materially worse than when I last saw him; and I was glad I had it in my power to cheer him by my return, and to amuse him with singing bis favourite songs.

No one triumphed over my failure, or said I had better have taken his or her advice, and quietly stayed at home, All were glad to have me back again, and lavished more kindness than ever upon me, to'make up for the sufferings 1 had undergone ; but not one would touch a shilling of what I had so cheerfully earned and so carefully saved, in the hope of sharing it with

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AGNES GREY. 341 them. By dint of pinching here, and scraping there, our debts were already nearly paid. Mary had had good success with her drawings ; but our father had insisted upon her likewise keeping all the produce of her industry to herself. All we.could spare from the supply of our humble wardrobe and our little casual expenses, he directed us to put into the savings’ bank; saying, we knew not how soon we might be dependent on that alone for support ; for he felt he had not long to be with us, and what would become of our mother and us when he was gone, God only knew! Dear papa! if he had troubled himself less about the afflictions that threatened us in case of his death, I am convinced that dreaded event would not have taken place so soon. My mother would never suffer him to ponder on the subject if she could help it.

‘Oh, Richard!” exclaimed she, on ene occasion, ‘‘if you would but dismiss such gloomy subjects from your mind, you would live as long as any of us; at least you would live to see the girls married, and yourself a happy grandfather, with a canty old dame for your companion.” My mother laughed, and so did my father : but his laugh soon perished in a dreary sigh. “« They married—poor penniless things!” said he, ‘‘ who will take them, I wonder!” ‘Why, nobody shall that isn’t thankful for them. Wasn't I penniless when you took me? and you retended, at least, to be vastly pleased with your acquisition. But it’s no matter whether they get married or not: we can devise a thousand honest ways of making a livelihood.

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And I wonder, Richard, you can think of bothering your head about our Zoverty in case of your death ; as if that would be anything compared with the calamity of losing you—an affliction that you well know would swallow up all others, and which you ought to do your utmost to preserve us from: and there is nothing like a cheerful mind for keeping the body in health,” ‘““T know, Alice, it is wrong to keep repining as I do, but I cannot help it: you must bear with me.” ‘« T won't bear with you, if I can alter you,” replied my mother : but the harshness of her words was undone by the earnest affec- tion of her tone and pleasant smile, that made my father smile again, less sadly and less transiently than was his wont. “Mamma,” said I, as soon as I could find an opportunity of

• 342 j AGNES GREY. speaking’ with her alone, ‘‘ my money is but little, and cannot. last long’; if I could increase it, it would lessen papa’s' anxiety, on one subject'at least. I cannot draw like Mary, and so the best thing I could do would be to look out' for another situation.” “ And soi you would actually try again, Agnes?” “ Decidedly, I would.” ‘“Why, my dear, I should have thought you had had enough of it.” “TI know,” said I, ‘‘everybody is not like Mr, and Mrs, Bloomfield” ««Some are worse,” interrupted my mother. ‘* But not many, I think,” replied I, ‘and I’m sureall children are'not like theirs; for I and Mary were not : we always did as you bid us, didn’t we?”’ “Generally : but then, I did not spoil you; and you were not perfect angels after all: Mary had a fund of quiet obstinacy, and you were somewhat faulty in regard to temper; but you were very good children on the whole.”

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“‘T know I was sulky sometimes, and I should have been glad to see these children sulky sometimes too; for then J could have understood them: but they never were, for they cowld not be offended, nor hurt, nor ashamed: they could not be unhappy in any way, except when they were in a passion.” ““Well, if they coz/d not, it was' not their fault : you cannot expect stone to be as pliable asi clay.” ‘“No, but still it is very unpleasant to live with such unim- pressible: incomprehensible: creatures, You cannot love them ; and if you could, your love: would be:utterly thrown away: they could neither return it, nor value, nor understand it, But, how- ever, even if I should stumble on such a family again, which is quite unlikely, I have all this experience to. begim with, and I should manage better another time:;; and the. end: and. aim of this preamble is, let me try again.” *“Well, my girl, you are not easily discouraged, I see: I am glad of that.

But, let me tell you, you are a good deal paler and thinner than when you first left home; and we cannot have you undermining your health to: hoard up: money, either for yourself or others.” : “Mary tells me 1 am changed too:; and I don’t much wonder at it, for I was ina constant state of agitation and anxiety all day long: but next time I am determined to take things coolly.”

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AGNES GREY. 343 After some further discussion, my mother promised once more to assist me, provided I would wait and be patient; and I left her to broach the matter to my father, when and how she deemed it: most advisable : never doubting’ her: ability to. obtain his consent. Meantime, I searched, with great interest, the ad- vyertising columns of the newspapers, and wrote answers: to every ““Wanted a Governess,” that appeared at all eligible; but all my letters, as well as the replies, when I got any, were dutifully shown to my mother; and she, to my chagrin, made me reject the situations one after another: these were low people, these were too exacting in their demands, and these too niggardly in their remuneration. ‘‘Your talents are not such as’ every poor clergyman's daughter possesses, Agnes,” she would say, ““and you must not throw them away.

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Remerber, you promised to be patient : there is no need of hurry ; you have plenty of time before you, and may have many chances yet.” At length, she advised me to put an advertisement, myself, in the paper, stating my qualifications, &c. “Music, singing, drawing, French, Latin, and German,” said she, ‘“are no mean assemblage: many will be glad to have s® much in one instructor; and this time, you shall try your fortune in a somewhat higher family—in that of some genuine, thorough-bred gentleman ; for such are far more likely to treat. you with proper respect’ and consideration, than those purse-proud tradespeople and arrogant upstarts. I have known several among the higher ranks who treated their governesses quite as one of: the family ; though some, I allow, are as insolent and exacting as any one else can be: for there are bad and good in:all classes.” The advertisement was quickly written and despatched.

Of the two parties who answered it, but one would consent to give me fifty pounds, the sum my’mother bade me:nameias the salary I should require’; and here, I hesitated about engaging myself, as I feared the children would be: too old, and their parents would require some one more showy, or more: experienced, if not more accomplished than I. But my mother dissuaded me from declining it on that account: I'should do, vastly well, she said, if 1 would only throw aside my diffidence, and acquire a little more confidence in myself.. I was just! to give a plain, true statement of my acquirementsiand qualifications, and name

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• 344 AGNES GREY. what stipulations I chose to make, and then await the result. The only stipulation I ventured to propose, was that I might be allowed two months’ holidays during the year to visit my friends, at Midsummer and Christmas, The unknown lady, in her reply, made no objection to this, and stated that, as to my acquirements, she had no doubt I should be able to give satis- faction; but in the engagement of governesses, she considered those things as but subordinate points ; as, being situated in the neighbourhood of O——, she could get masters to supply any deficiencies in that respect: but, in her opinion, next to un- impeachable morality, a mild and cheerful temper and obliging’ disposition were the most essential requisites, My mother did not relish this at all, and now made many objections to my accepting the situation; in which my sister warmly supported her: but, unwilling to be baulked again, I overruled them all; and, having first obtained the consent of my father (who had, a short time previously, been apprised of these transactions), I wrote a most obliging epistle to my unknown correspondent, and, finally, the bargain was concluded.

It was decreed that on the last day of January, I was to enter upon my new office as governess in the family of Mr. Murray, of Horton Lodge, near O——, about seventy miles from our village : a formidable distance to me, as I had never been above twenty miles from home in all the course of my twenty years’ sojourn on earth; and as, moreover, every individual in that family and in the neighbourhood was utterly unknown to myself and all my acquaintances, But this rendered it only the more piquant to me. I had now, in some measure, got rid of the mauvarse honte that had formerly oppressed me so much ; there was a pleasing excitement in the idea of entering these unknown regions, and making my way alone among its strange inhabi- tants. I now flattered myself I was going to see something of the world: Mr.

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Murray’s residence was near a large town, and not in a manufacturing district, where the people had nothing to do but to make money ; his rank, from what I could gather, appeared to be higher than that of Mr. Bloomfield ; and, doubt- less, he was one of those genuine thorough-bred gentry my mother spoke of, who would treat his governess with due con- sideration as a respectable well-educated lady, the instructor and guide of his children, and not a mere upper servant. Then, my pupils being older, would be more rational, more teachable, and

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AGNES GREY. 345 less troublesome than the last : they would be less confined to the schoolroom, and not require that constant labour and incessant watching ; and, finally, bright visions mingled with my hopes, with which the care of children and the mere duties of a gover- ness had little or nothing to do. Thus, the reader will see that Thad no claim to be regarded as a martyr to filial piety, going forth to sacrifice peace and liberty for the sole purpose of laying up stores for the comfort and support of my parents: though certainly the comfort of my father, and the future support of my mother, had a large share in my calculations ; and fifty pounds appeared to me no ordinary sum.

I must have decent clothes becoming my station; I must, it seemed, put out my washing, and also pay for my four annual journeys between Horton Lodge and home; but with strict attention to economy, surely twenty pounds, or little more, would cover those expenses, and then there would be thirty for the bank, or little less: what a valu- able addition to our stock! Oh, I must struggle to keep this situation, whatever it might be! both for my own honour among my friends and for the solid services J might render them by my continuance there, —H— CHAPTER VII. HORTON LODGE. THE 31st of January was a wild, tempestuous day: there was a strong north wind, with a continual storm of snow drifting on the ground and whirling through the air. My friends would have had me delay my departure, but fearful of prejudicing my em- ployers against me by such want of punctuality at the commence- ment of my undertaking, I persisted in keeping the appointment.

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I will not inflict upon my readers an account of my leaving home on that dark winter morning : the fond farewells, the long, long journey to O-—,, the solitary waitings in inns for coaches or trains—for there were some railways then—and, finally, the meeting at O—— with Mr. Murray’s servant, who had been sent with the phaeton to drive me from thence to Horton Lodge. I will just state that the heavy snow had thrown such impediments in the way of both horses and steam-engines, that it was dark some hours before I reached my journey’s end, and that a most bewildering storm came on at last, which made the few miles’

• 346 AGNES GREY. space between O—— and Horton Lodge a long and formidable passage. I sat resigned, with the cold, sharp snow drifting through my veil and filling my lap, seeing nothing, and wonder- ing how the unfortunate horse and driver could make their way even as well as they did: and indeed it was but a toilsome, creeping style of progression, to say the best of it. At length we paused ; and, at the call of the driver, some one unlatched and rolled back upon their creaking hinges what appeared to be the park gates. Then we proceeded along a smoother road, whence, occasionally, I perceived some huge hoary mass gleaming through the darkness, which I took to be a portion of a snow-clad tree, After a considerable time we paused again, before the stately por- tico of a large house with long windows descending to the ground.

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I rose with some difficulty from under the superincumbent snow-drift, and alighted from the carriage, expecting that a kind and hospitable reception would indemnify me for the toils and hardships of the day. A gentlemanly person in black opened the door, and admitted me into a spacious hall, lighted by an amber- coloured lamp suspended from the ceiling; he led me through this, along a passage, and, opening the door of a back room, told me that was theschoolroom. Ientered, and found two young ladies and two young gentlemen—my future pupils, I supposed. After a formal greeting, the elder girl, who was trifling over a piece of canvas and a basket of German wools, asked if I should like to go upstairs. I replied in the affirmative, of course. ‘‘Matilda, take a candle, and show her her room,” said she.

Miss Matilda, a strapping hoyden of about fourteen, with a short frock and trousers, shrugged her shoulders and made a slight grimace, but took a candle and proceeded before me, up the back stairs (a long, steep, double flight), and through a long, narrow passage, to a small but tolerably comfortable room, She then asked me if I would take some tea or coffee. I was about to answer No; but remembering that I had taken. nothing since seven o'clock that morning, and feeling faint in consequence, I said I would takea cup oftea. Saying she would tell ‘‘ Brown,” the young lady departed; and by the time I had divested myself of my heavy, wet cloak, shawl, bonnet, &c., a mincing damsel came to say the young ladies desired to know whether I would take my tea up there or in the schoolroom, Under the plea of fatigue, I chose to take it there. She withdrew; and, after a while, returned again with a small tea-tray, and placed it on the

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AGNES GREY. 347 chest of drawers which served as a dressing-table. Having civilly thanked her, I asked at what time I should be expected to rise in the morning. “The young ladies and gentlemen breakfast at half-past eight, ma’am,” said she; ‘‘they rise early ; but, as they seldom do any lessons before breakfast, I should think it will do if you rise soon after seven.” I desired her to beso kind as to call me at seven, and, promising to do so, she withdrew. Then, having broken my long fast on a cup of tea and a little thin bread and butter, I sat down beside the small, smouldering fire, and amused myself with a hearty fit of crying; after which, I said my prayers, and then, feeling considerably relieved, began to prepare for bed.

Finding that none of my luggage was brought up, I instituted a search for the bell; and failing to discover any signs’of such a convenience in any corner of the room, I took my candle and ventured through the long passage, and down the steep stairs, on a voyage of discovery. Meeting a well-dressed female on the way, I told her what I wanted ; but not without considerable hesitation, as I was not quite sure whether it was one of the upper servants, or Mrs, Murray herself: it happened, however, to be the lady’s-maid. With the air of one conferring an unusual favour, she vouchsafed to undertake the sending up of my things ; and when I had re- entered my room, and waited and wondered a long time (greatly fearing that she had forgotten or neglected to perform her promise, and doubting whether to keep waiting or go to bed, or go down again) my hopes, at length, were revived by the sound of voices and laughter, accompanied by the tramp of feet along the passage ; and presently the luggage was brought in by a rough- looking maid and a man, neither of them very respectful in their demeanour to me.

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Having shut the door upon their retiring footsteps, and unpacked a few of my things, I betook myself to rest ; gladly enough, for I was weary in body and mind. It was with a strange feeling of desolation, mingled with a strong sense of the novelty of my situation, and a joyless kind of curiosity concerning what was yet unknown, that I awoke the next morning ; feeling like one whirled away by enchantment, and suddenly dropped from the clouds into a remote and unknown land, widely and completely isolated from all he had ever seen or known before ; or like a thistle-seed borne on the wind to some strange nook of uncongenial soil, where it must lie long enough

• 348 AGNES GREY. before it can take root and germinate, extracting nourishment from what appears so alien to its nature: if, indeed, it ever can. But this gives no proper idea of my feelings at all; and no one that has not lived such a retired, stationary life as mine, can possibly imagine what they were: hardly even if he has known what it is to awake some morning, and find himself in Port Nelson, in New Zealand, with a world of waters between hiniself and all that knew him, I shall not soon forget the peculiar feeling with which I raised my blind and looked out upon the unknown world : a wide, white wilderness was all that met my gaze; a waste of *<Deserts tossed in snow, And heavy-laden groves.” I descended to the schoolroom with no remarkable eagerness to join my pupils, though not without some feeling of curiosity respecting what a further acquaintance would reveal.

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One thing, among others of more obvious importance, I determined with myself—I must begin with calling them Miss and Master. It seemed to me a chilling and unnatural piece of punctilio between the children of a family and their instructor and daily companion ; especially where the former were in their early child- hood, as at Wellwood House; but even there my calling the little Bloomfields by their simple names had been regarded as an offensive liberty : as their parents had taken care to show me, by carefully designating them JZaster and Miss Bloomfield, &c,, in speaking tome, I had been very slow to take the hint, because the whole affair struck me as so very absurd; but now I deter- mined to be wiser, and begin at once with as much form and ceremony as any member of the family would be likely to require: and indeed, the children being so much older, there would be less difficulty ; though the little words Miss and Master seemed to have a surprising effect in repressing all familiar, open- hearted kindness, and extinguishing every gleam of cordiality that might arise between us.

As I cannot, like Dogberry, find it in my heart to bestow @// my tediousness upon the reader, I will not go on to bore him with a minute detail of all the discoveries and proceedings of this and the following day. No doubt he will be amply satisfied with a slight sketch of the different members of the family, and a general view of the first year or two of my sojourn among them.

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AGNES GREY. 349 To begin with the head: Mr. Murray was, by all accounts, a blustering, roystering, country squire ; a devoted fox-hunter, a skilful horse-jockey and farrier, an active, practical farmer, and a hearty don-vivant. By all accounts, I say; for, except on Sundays, when he went to church, I never saw him from month to month : unless, in crossing the hall or walking in the grounds, the figure of a tall, stout gentleman, with scarlet cheeks and crimson nose, happened-to come across me; on which occasions, if he passed near enough to speak, an unceremonious nod, accom- panied by a ‘‘ Morning, Miss Grey,” or some such brief salutation, was usually vouchsafed. Frequently, indeed, his loud laugh reached me from afar; and oftener still I heard him swearing and blaspheming against the footmen, groom, coachman, or some other hapless dependent. Mrs.

Murray was a handsome, dashing lady of forty, who certainly required neither rouge nor padding to add to her charms; and whose chief enjoyments were, or seemed to be, in giving or frequenting parties, and in dressing at the very top of the fashion. I did not see her till eleven o’clock on the morning after my arrival; when she honoured me with a visit, just as my mother might step into the kitchen to see a new servant-girl : yet not so, either, for my mother would have seen her imme- diately after her arrival, and not waited till the next day; and, moreover, she would have addressed her in a more kind and friendly manner, and given her some words of comfort as well as a plain exposition of her duties; but Mrs. Murray did neither the one nor the other.

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She just stepped into the schoolroom on her return from ordering dinner in the housekeeper’s room, bade me good-morning, stood for two minutes by the fire, said a few words about the weather and the ‘‘ rather rough”’ journey I must have had yesterday ; petted her youngest child—a boy of ten— who had just been wiping his mouth and hands on her gown, after indulging in some savoury morsel from the housekeeper’s stores; told me what a sweet, good boy he was ; and then sailed out, with a self-complacent smile upon her face: thinking, no doubt, that she had done quite enough for the present, and had been delightfully condescending into the bargain. Her children evidently held the same opinion, and I alone thought otherwise. After this she looked in upon me once or twice, during the absence of my pupils, to enlighten me concerning my duties to-

• 350 AGNES GREY. wards them. For the girls she seemed anxious only to render them as superficially attractive and showily accomplished as they could possibly be made, without present trouble or discomfort to themselves; and I was to act accordingly—to study and strive to amuse and oblige, instruct, refine, and polish, with the least possible exertion on their part, and no exercise of authority on mine. With regard to the two boys, it was much the same; only instead of accomplishments, I was to get the greatest possible quantity of Latin grammar and Valpy’s Delectus into their heads, in order to fit them for school—the greatest possible quantity at least wzthout trouble to themselves.

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John might bea “little high- spirited,” and Charles might bea little ‘‘ nervous and tedious ”’— ‘‘But at all events, Miss Grey,” said she, ‘‘I hope yow will keep your temper, and be mild and patient throughout; espe- cially with the dear little Charles: he is so extremely nervous and susceptible, and so utterly unaccustomed to anything but the tenderest treatment. You will excuse my naming these things to you; for the fact is, I have hitherto found all the governesses, even the very best of them, faulty in this particular. They wanted that meek and quiet spirit, which St. Matthew, or some of them, says is better than the putting on of apparel—you will know the passage to which I allude, for you are a clergyman’s daughter, But I have no doubt you will give satisfaction in this respect as well as the rest.

And remember, on all occasions, when any of the young people do anything improper, if persuasion and gentle remonstrance will not do, let one of the others come and tell me; for I can speak to them more plainly than it would be proper for you to do. And make them as happy as you can, Miss Grey, and I dare say you will do very well.” I observed that while Mrs. Murray was so extremely solicitous for the comfort and happiness of her children, and continually talking about it, she never once mentioned mine; though they were at home surrounded by friends, and I an alien among strangers ; and I did not yet know enough of the world, not to be considerably surprised at this anomaly.

Miss Murray, otherwise Rosalie, was about sixteen when I came, and decidedly a very pretty girl; and in two years longer, as time more completely developed her form and added grace to her carriage and deportment, she became positively beautiful ; and that in no common degree. She was tall and slender, yet not thin; perfectly formed, exquisitely fair, though not without

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AGNES GREY. 352 a brilliant, healthy bloom ; her hair, which she wore in a profusion of long ringlets, was of a very light brown inclining to yellow ; her eyes were pale blue, but so clear and bright that few would wish them darker; the rest of her features were small, not quite regular, and not remarkably otherwise: but altogether you could not hesitate to _ pronounce her a very lovely girl. Iwish 1 could say as much for mind and disposition as I can for her form and face. Yet think not I have-any dreadful disclosures to make: she was lively, light-hearted, and could be very agreeable, with those who did not cross her will.

"Towards me, when I first came, she was cold and haughty, then insolent and overbearing ; but ona further acquaintance, she gradually laid aside her airs, and in time became as deeply attached to me as it was possible for her to be to one of my character and position: for she seldom lost sight, for above half-an-hour at a time, of the fact of my being a hireling and a poor curate’s daughter. And yet, upon the whole, I believe she respected me more than she herself was aware of ; because I was the only person in the house who steadily professed good principles, habitually spoke the truth, and generally en- deavoured to make inclination bow to duty: and this I say, not, of course, in commendation of myself, but to show the unfortunate state of the family to which my services were, for the present, devoted.

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There was no member of it in whom I regretted this sad want of principle so much as Miss Murray herself ; not only because she had taken a fancy to me, but because there was so much of what was pleasant and prepossessing in herself, that, in spite of her failings, I really liked her—when she did not rouse my indignation, or ruffle my temper by /vo great a display of her faults. These, however, I would fain persuade myself, were rather the effect of her education than her disposition : she had never been perfectly taught the distinction between right and wrong; she had, like her brothers and sisters, been suffered, from infancy, to tyrannise over nurses, governesses, and servants ; she had not been taught to moderate her desires, to control her temper or bridle her will, or to sacrifice her own pleasure for the good of others, Her temper being naturally good, she was never violent or morose, but from constant indulgence and habitual scorn of reason, she was often testy and capricious ; her mind had never been cultivated : her intellect, at best, was somewhat shallow ; she possessed considerable vivacity, some quickness of perception, and some talent for music and the acquisition of

• 352 AGNES GREY. languages, but till fifteen she had troubled herself to acquire nothing ;—then the love of display had roused her faculties, and induced her to apply herself, but only to the more showy accom- plishments. And when I came it was the same: everything was neglected but French, German, music, singing, dancing, fancy- work, and a little drawing—such drawing as might produce the greatest show with the smallest labour, and the principal parts of which were generally done by me. For music and singing, besides my occasional instructions, she had the attendance of the best master the country afforded ; and in these accomplishments, as well as in dancing, she certainly attained great proficiency. To music, indeed, she devoted too much of her time: as, governess though I was, I frequently told her; but her mother thought that if she liked it, she cow/d not give too much time to the acquisition of so attractive an art.

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Of fancy-work I knew nothing but what I gathered from my pupil and my own observa- tion ; but no sooner was I initiated, than she made me useful in twenty: different ways: all the tedious parts of her work were shifted on to my shoulders; such as stretching the frames, stitch- ing in the canvas, sorting the wools and silks, putting in the grounds, counting the stitches, rectifying mistakes, and finishing the pieces she was tired of. At sixteen, Miss Murray was something of a romp, yet not more so than is natural and allowable for a girl of that age; but at seventeen, that propensity, like all other things, began to give way to the ruling passion, and soon was swallowed up in the all-absorbing ambition to attract and dazzle the other sex. But enough of her: now let us turn to her sister. Miss Matilda Murray was a veritable hoyden, of whom little need be said.

She was about two years and a half younger than her sister ; her features were larger, her complexion much darker. She might possibly make a‘handsome woman ; but she was far too big-boned and awkward ever to be called a pretty girl, and at present she cared little about it. Rosalie knew all her charms, and thought them even greater than they were, and valued them more highly than she ought to have done, had they been three times as great ; Matilda thought she was well enough, but cared little about the matter ; still less did she care about the cultiva- tion of her mind, and the acquisition of ornamental accomplish- ments. The manner in which she learnt her lessons and practised her miusic, was calculated to drive any governess to despair.

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AGNES GREY. 353 Short and easy as her tasks were, if done at all, they were slurred over, at any time and in any way; but generally at the least convenient times, and in the way least beneficial to herself, and least satisfactory to me: the short half-hour of practising was horribly strammed through; she, meantime, unsparingly abusing me, either for interrupting her with corrections, or for not recti- fying her mistakes before they were made, or something equally unreasonable. Once _or twice, I ventured to remonstrate with her seriously for such irrational conduct ; but on each of those occasions, I received such reprehensive expostulations from her mother, as convinced me that, if I wished to keep the situation, I must even let Miss Matilda go on in her own way.

When her lessons were over, however, her ill-humour was generally over too: while riding her spirited pony, or romping with the dogs or her brothers and sister, but especially with her dear brother John, she was as happy as a lark. As an animal, Matilda was all right, full of life, vigour, and activity ; as an in- telligent being, she was barbarously ignorant, indocile, careless, and irrational ; and, consequently, very distressing to one who had the task of cultivating her understanding, reforming her manners, and aiding her to acquire those ornamental attain- ments which, unlike her sister, she despised as much as the rest.

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Her mother was partly aware of her deficiencies, and gave me many a lecture as to how I should try to form her tastes, and endeavour to rouse and cherish her dormant vanity ; and, by insinuating, skilful flattery, to win her attention to the desired objects—which I would not do; and how I should prepare and smooth the path of learning till she could glide along it without the least exertion to herself: which I could not, for nothing can be taught to any purpose without some little exertion on the part of the learner, As a moral agent, Matilda was reckless, headstrong, violent, and unamenable to reason. One proof of the deplorable state of her mind was, that from her father’s example she had learned to swear like a trooper. Her mother was greatly shocked at the ‘«unladylike trick,’’ and wondered ‘‘ how she had picked it up.”

‘« But you can soon break her of it, Miss Grey,” said she: “‘it is only a habit, and if ‘you will just gently remind her every time she does so, I am sure she will soon lay it aside.’ I not only “‘sently reminded”’ her, I tried to impress upon her how wrong it was, and how distressing to the ears of decent people ; but all M

• 354 AGNES GREY. in vain: I was only answered by a careless laugh, and, ‘‘Oh, Miss Grey, how shocked you are! I’msoglad!” Or, ‘‘ Well! I can’t help it; papa shouldn’t have taught me: I learned it all from him; and may be a bit from the coachman.” Her brother John, a/zas Master Murray, was about eleven when Tcame: a fine, stout, healthy boy, frank and good-natured in the main, and might have been a decent lad had he been properly educated ; but now he was as rough as a young bear, boisterous, unruly, unprincipled, untaught, unteachable—at least, for a ‘governess under his mother’s eye.

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His masters at school might be.able to manage him better—for to school he was sent, greatly to my relief, in the course of a year; in a state, it is true, of scandalous ignorance as to Latin, as well as the more useful though more neglected things: and this, doubtless, would all be laid to the account of his education having been entrusted to an ignorant female teacher, who had presumed to take in hand what she was wholly incompetent to perform. I was not de- livered from his brother till full twelve months after, when he also was despatched in the same state of disgraceful ignorance as the former. Master Charles was his mother’s peculiar darling.

He was little more than a year younger than John, but much smaller, paler, and less active and robust; a pettish, cowardly, capri- cious, selfish little fellow, only active in doing mischief, and only clever in inventing falsehoods: not simply to hide his faults, but, in mere malicious wantonness, to bring odium upon cthers. In fact, Master Charles was a very great nuisance to me: it was a trial of patience to live with him peaceably ; to watch over him was worse; and to teach him, or pretend to teach him, was inconceivable.

At ten years old, he could not read correctly the easiest line in the simplest book; and as, according to his mother’s principle, he was to be told every word, before he had time to hesitate or examine its orthography, and never even to be informed, as a stimulant to exertion, that other boys were more forward than he, it is not surprising that he made but little progress during the two years I had charge of his education. His minute portions of Latin grammar, &c., were to be repeated over to him, till he chose to say he knew them, and then he was to be helped to say them; if he made mistakes in his little easy sums in arithmetic, they were to be shown him at once, and the sum done for him, instead of his being left to exercise his faculties

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AGNES GREY. 355° in finding them out himself; so that, of course, he took no pains to avoid mistakes, but frequently set down his figures at random, without any calculation at all. I did not invariably confine myself to these rules: it was against my conscience to do so; but I seldom could venture to deviate from them in the slightest degree, without incurring the wrath of my little pupil, and subsequently of his mamma; to whom he would relate my transgressions, maliciously exaggerated, or adorned with embellishments of his own; and often, in con- sequence, was I on the point of losing or resigning my situation. But, for their sakes at home, I smothered my pride and sup- pressed my indignation, and: managed to struggle on till my little tormentor was despatched to school; his father declaring that home education was ‘‘no go for him, it was plain; his mother spoiled him outrageously, and his governess could make no hand of him at all.”

A few more observations about Horton Lodge and its ongoings, and I have done with dry description for the present. The house was a very respectable one; superior to Mr. Bloomfield’s, both jn age, size, and magnificence: the garden was not so tastefully laid out ; but instead of the smooth-shaven lawn, the young trees guarded by palings, the grove of upstart poplars, and the plan- tation of firs, there was a wide park, stocked with deer, and beautified by fine old trees. The surrounding country itself was pleasant, as far as fertile fields, flourishing trees, quiet green lanes, and smiling hedges with wild flowers scattered along their banks, could make it; but it was depressingly flat to one born and nurtured among the rugged hills of ——, We were situated nearly two miles from the village church, and, consequently, the family carriage was put in requisition every Sunday morning, and sometimes oftener, Mr, and Mrs.

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Murray generally thought it sufficient to show themselves at church once in the course of the day; but frequently the children preferred going a second time to wandering about the grounds all the day with nothing to do, If some of my pupils chose to walk and take me with them, it was well for me; for otherwise, my position in the carriage was, to be crushed into the corner farthest from the open window, and with my back to the horses : a position which invariably made me sick; and, if I were not actually obliged to leave the church in the middle of the service, my devotions were disturbed with a feeling of languor and sick-

• 356 AGNES GREY. liness, and the tormenting fear of its becoming worse; and a depressing headache was generally my companion throughout the day, which would otherwise have been one of welcome rest, and holy, calm enjoyment. “‘Tt’s very odd, Miss Grey, that the carriage should always make you sick: it never makes mme,”’ remarked Miss Matilda. “Nor me either,” said her sister, ‘‘ but I dare say it would, if I sat where she does—such a nasty, horrid place, Miss Grey ; I wonder how you can bear it!” I am obliged to bear it, since no choice is left me—I might have answered ; but in tenderness for their feelings I only replied— ‘‘Oh! it is but a short way, and if I am not sick in church, I don’t mind it.” If I were called upon to give a description of the usual divisions and arrangements of the day, I should find ita very difficult matter.

I had all my meals in the schoolroom with my pupils, at such times as suited their fancy : sometimes they would ring for dinner before it was half-cooked ; sometimes they would keep it waiting on the table for above an hour, and then be out of humour because the potatoes were cold, and the gravy covered with cakes of solid fat ; sometimes they would have tea at four; frequently, they would storm at the servants because it was not in precisely at five; and when these orders were obeyed, by way of encouragement to punctuality, they would keep it on the table till seven or eight. Their hours of study were managed in much the same way ; my judgment or convenience was never once consulted.

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Sometimes Matilda and John would determine ‘‘to get all the plaguy business over before breakfast,” and send the maid to call me up at half- past five, without any scruple or apology ; sometimes, I was told to be ready precisely at six, and, having dressed ina hurry, came down to an empty room, and after waiting a long time in suspense, discovered that they had changed their minds, and were still in bed ; or perhaps, if it were a fine summer morning, Brown would come to tell me that the young ladies and gentlemen had taken a holiday, and were gone out ; and then, I was kept waiting for breakfast till I was almost ready to faint: they having fortified themselves with something before they went.

Often they would do their lessons in the open air ; which I had nothing to say against: except that I frequently caught cold by sitting on the damp grass, or from exposure to the evening dew, or some insidious draught, which seemed to have no injurious

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AGNES GREY, 337 effect on them. It was quite right that they should be hardy ; yet, surely, they might have been taught some consideration for others who were less so. But I must not blame them for what was, perhaps, my own fault ; for I never made any particular objections to sitting where they pleased ; foolishly choosing to risk the consequences, rather than trouble them for my con- venience. Their indeccrous manner of doing their lessons was quite as remarkable as the caprice displayed in their choice of time and place.

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While receiving my instructions, or repeating what they had learned, they would lounge upon the sofa, lie on the rug, stretch, yawn, talk to each other, or look out of the window; whereas, I could not so much as stir the fire, or pick up the handkerchief I had dropped, without being rebuked for inatten- tion by one of my pupils, or told that ‘‘ mamma would not like me to be so careless.” : The servants, seeing in what little estimation the governess was held by both parents and children, regulated their behaviour by the same standard. I have frequently stood up for them, at the risk of some injury to myself, against the tyranny and injustice of their young masters and mistresses ; and I always endeavoured to give them as little trouble as possible : but they entirely neglected my comfort, despised my requests, and slighted my directions.

All servants, I am convinced, would not have done so; but domestics in general, being ignorant and little accustomed to reason and reflection, are too easily corrupted by the carelessness and bad example of those above them ; and these, I think, were not of the best order to begin with. I sometimes felt myself degraded by the life I led, and ashamed of submitting to so many indignities ; and sometimes I thought myself a fool for caring so much about them, and feared I must be sadly wanting in Christian humility, or that charity which “‘suffereth long and is kind, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, beareth all things, endureth all things.”

But, with time and patience, matters began to be slightly ameliorated : slowly, it is true, and almost imperceptibly ; but I got rid of my male pupils (that was no trifling advantage), and the girls, as I inti- mated before concerning one of them, became a little less insolent, and began to show some symptoms of esteem. ‘‘ Miss Grey was a queer creature: she never flattered, and did not praise them half enough; but whenever she did speak favourably of them, or anything belonging to them, they could be quite sure her appro-

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• 358 AGNES GREY. bation was sincere. She was very obliging, quiet, and peaceable in the main, but there were some things that put her out of temper: they did not much care for that, to be sure, but still it was better to keep her in tune ; as when she was in a good humour she would talk to them, and be very agreeable and amusing some- times, in her way ; which was quite different to mamma’s, but still very well fora change. She had her own opinions on every sub- ject, and kept steadily to them—very tiresome opinions they often were ; as she was always thinking of what was right and what was wrong, and had a strange reverence for matters connected with religion, and an unaccountable liking for good people.” — CHAPTER VIII. THE ‘COMING OUT.”

ArT eighteen, Miss Murray was to emerge from the quiet ob- scurity of the schoolroom into the full blaze of the fashionable world—as much of it, at least, as could be had out of London; for her papa could not be persuaded to leave his rural pleasures and pursuits, even for a few weeks’ residence in town. She was to make her début on the 3rd of January, at a magnificent ball, which her mamma proposed to give to all nobility and choice gentry of O and its neighbourhood for twenty miles round. Of course, she looked forward to it with the wildest im- patience, and the most extravagant anticipations of delight.

‘‘Miss Grey,” said she, one evening, a month before the all- important day, as I was perusing along and extremely interesting letter of my sister’s—which I had just glanced at in the morning to see that it contained no yery bad news, and kept till now, un- able before to find a quiet moment for reading it—‘‘ Miss Grey, do put away that dull, stupid letter, and listen tome! I’m sure my talk must be far more amusing than that.” She seated herself on the low stool at my feet ; and I, sup- pressing a sigh of vexation, began to fold up the epistle, “‘You should tell the good people at home not to bore you with such long letters,” said she; ‘‘and above all, do bid them write on proper note-paper, and not on those great vulgar sheets, You should see the charming little ladylike notes mamma writes to her friends.”

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AGNES GREY. 359 ““The good people at home,” replied I, ‘‘ know very well that the longer their letters are, the better I like them. I should be very sorry to receive a charming little ladylike note from any of them; and I thought you were too much of a lady yourself, Miss Murray, to talk about the ‘ vulgarity’ of writing ona large sheet of paper.” ““Well, I only said it to tease you. But now I want to talk about the ball; and to tell you that you positively must put off your holidays till it is over.” ‘““Why so?—I shall not be present at the ball.” ““No, but you will see the rooms decked out before it begins, and hear the music, and, above all, see me in my splendid new dress. I shall be so charming,. you'll be ready to worship me— you really must stay.”

“JT should like to see you very much; but I shall have many opportunities of seeing you equally charming, on the occasion of some of the numberless balls and parties that are to be, and I cannot disappoint my friends by postponing my return so long.” ‘Oh, never mind your friends! Tell them we won't let you go.” “ But, to say the truth, it would be a disappointment to myself : I long to see them as much as they to see me—perhaps more.” “‘Well, but it is such a short time.” “Nearly a fortnight by my computation; and, besides, I can+ not bear the thoughts of a Christmas spent from home: and, moreover, my sister is going to be married.” “Ts she—when?”’ ‘Not till next month; but I want to be there to assist her in making preparations, and to make the best of her company while we have her.” ““Why didn’t you tell me before?” ‘‘T’ve only got the news in this letter, which you stigmatise as dull and stupid, and won't let me read.”

‘“To whom is she to be married?” “To Mr. Richardson, the vicar of a neighbouring parish.” Srsyhexiche’" ‘“©No; only comfortable.’ “Ts he handsome?” “No, only decent.” ““Youmng ?”” ““No; only middling.” -“©© mercy! what a wretch! What sort of a house is it?” 7

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• 360 AGNES GREY. ‘CA quiet little vicarage, with an ivy-clad porch, an old- fashioned garden, and ’’—— “©O stop !—you'll make me sick. How caz she bear it ?” ‘TI expect she'll not only be able to bear it, but to be very happy. You did not ask me if Mr. Richardson were a good, wise, or amiable man ; I could have answered Yes, to all these questions—at least so Mary thinks, and I hope she will not find herself mistaken.” ‘‘But—miserable creature! how can she think of spending her life there, cooped up with that nasty old man ; and zo hope of change?” “He is not old: he’s only six or seven and thirty ; and she herself is twenty-eight, and as sober as if she were fifty.” “Oh! that’s better then—they’re well matched: but do they call him the ‘worthy vicar’ ?” “‘T don’t know ; but if they do, I believe he merits the epithet.” “Mercy, how shocking ! and will she wear a white apron, and make pies and puddings?”

“I don’t know about the white apron, but I dare say she will make pies and puddings now and then; but that will be no great hardship, as she has done it before.” “‘And will she go about in a plain shawl, and a large straw bonnet, carrying tracts and bone soup to her husband’s poor parishioners?” “T’'m not clear about that ; but I dare say she will do her best to make them comfortable in body and mind, in accordance with our mother’s example.”’ CHAPTER IX. THE BALL. “Now, Miss Grey,” exclaimed Miss Murray, immediately I entered the schoolroom, after having taken off my outdoor gar- ments, upon returning from my four weeks’ recreation, ‘‘ Now— shut the door, and sit down, and I'll tell you all about the ball.” “No,—damn it, no!” shouted Miss Matilda. ‘‘ Hold your tongue, can’t ye? and let me tell her about my new mare—swch a splendour, Miss Grey ! a fine blood mare” ‘Do be quiet, Matilda ; and let me tell my news first.”

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AGNES GREY. 361 ““No, no, Rosalie ; you'll be such a damned long time over it —she shall hear me first—I'll be hanged if she doesn’t !” “‘T’m sorry to hear, Miss Matilda, that you've not got rid of that shocking habit yet.” ““Well, I can’t help it: but I’ll never say a wicked word again, if you'll only listen to me, and tell Rosalie to hold her confounded tongue.” Rosalie remonstrated, and I thought I should have been torn in pieces between them ; but Miss Matilda having the loudest voice, her sister at length gave in, and suffered her to tell her story first : so I was doomed to hear a long account of her splendid mare, its breeding and pedigree, its paces, its action, its spirit, &c., and of her own amazing skill and courage in riding it ; concluding with an assertion that she could clear a five-barred gate ‘‘like winking,” that papa said she might hunt the next time the hounds met, and mamma had ordered a bright scarlet hunting-habit for her.

‘‘Oh, Matilda! what stories you are telling!” exclaimed her sister. ‘‘ Well,” answered she, no whit abashed, ‘‘I know I could clear a five-barred gate, if I tried, and papa w7/7 say I may hunt, and mamma wzdZ order the habit when I ask it.” ‘Well, now get along,” replied Miss Murray ; ‘‘ and do, dear Matilda, try to be a little more ladylike. Miss Grey, I wish you would tell her not to use such shocking words ; she w2// call her horse a mare: it is so zzconcezvably shocking ! and then she uses such dreadful expressions in describing it : she #zast have learned it from the grooms. It nearly puts me into fits when she begins.” ‘«T learned it from papa, you ass! and his jolly friends,” said the young lady, vigorously cracking a hunting-whip, which she habitually carried in her hand. ‘‘I’m as good a judge of horse- flesh as the best of ’m.” ‘* Well, now get along, you shocking girl! I really shall take a fit if you go on insuch a way.

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And now, Miss Grey, attend to me; I’m going to tell you about the ball. You must be dying to hear about it, [know. Oh, sucha ball! You never saw or heard, or read, or dreamt of anything like it in all your life! The decora- tions, the entertainment, the supper, the music were indescribable ! and then the guests! There were two noblemen, three baronets, and five titled ladies, and other ladies and gentlemen innumerable. ‘The ladies, of course, were of no consequence to me, except to put me in a good humour with myself, by showing how ugly and M2

• 362 AGNES GREY. awkward most of them were ; and the best, mamma told me,— the most transcendent beauties among them, were nothing to me. As for me, Miss Grey—I’'m so sorry you didn’'t'seeme! I was charming—wasn't I, Matilda?” “ Middling.” “No, but I really was—at least so mamma said—and Brown and Williamson. Brown said she was sure no gentleman could set eyes on'me without falling in love that minute ; and so I may be allowed ‘to be a little vain, I know you think mea shocking, conceited, frivolous girl ; but ‘then, you know, I don’t attribute it aiZito my personal attractions : I give some praise to the hair- ‘dresser, and some to my exquisitely lovely dress—you must see it to-morrow—white gauze over pink satin—and so sweet/y made! and amecklace and bracelet of beautiful, large pearls !”” “JT have nodoubt you looked very charming’: but should that delight you so very much?”

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“‘Oh, no !—not that alone! but then, I was so much admired ; and I made so many conquests in that one night—you'd be aston- ished to hear”’ “ But what good will they do you?” “What good! Think of any woman asking that!” “Well, I:should think one conquest would be enough ; and too much, unless the subjugation were mutual.” ““Oh, but you know I never agree with you on those points. Now, wait.a bit, and I'll tell you my ‘principal admirers—those who made themselves very conspicuous that night and after: for I’ve been to two parties since. Unfortunately the two noblemen, Lord G—— and Lord F , were married, or I might have condescended to be ‘particularly gracious 'to them as it was, I did not: though Lord F , who hates his wife, was evidently much struck with me. He asked me to dance with him twice— he is a charming dancer, \by-the-bye, and so am T: you can’t think how well I did—I was astonished at myself.

My lord was very complimentary too—rather too much so in fact—and I thought proper to be a little haughty and repellent ; but I had the pleasure of seeing his nasty, cross wife ready to perish with Spite and vexation”’ “‘ Qh, Miss Murray! you don’t mean to say that such a thing could really give:you pleasure! However cross or” “‘ Well, I know it’s very wrong ;—but never mind! I mean to be good some time—only don’t preach now, there’s a good

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-AGNES GREY. 363 ‘creature. I haven’t told you half yet. Letmesee. -Oh! Iwas going to tell you how many unmistakable admirers I had :—Sir Thomas Ashby was one,—Sir Hugh Meltham and Sir Broadley Wilson are old codgers, only fit companions for papa and mamma, Sir Thomas is young, rich, and gay; but an ugly beast, never- theless : however, mamma says I should not mind that after:a few months’ acquaintance. Then, there was Henry Meltham, Sir Hugh’s younger son: rather good-looking, and a pleasant fellow to flirt with: but dezmg a younger ‘son, that is all he iis good for; then there was young Mr. Green, rich enough, but:of no family, and a great stupid fellow, a mere country booby ; and then, our good rector, Mr. Hatfield: an Aumble admirer he ought to consider himself; but I fear he has forgotten to number humility among his stock of Christian virtues.” “Was Mr, Hatfield at the ball?” “Yes, to be sure. Did you think he was too good to go?”

‘“T thought he might consider it unclerical.” ‘“By zo means. He did not profane his cloth by dancing! but it was with difficulty he could refrain, poor man: he looked as if he were dying to ask my hand just for ove set; and—oh! by-the-bye—he’s got a new curate: that seedy old fellow Mr. Bligh has got his long-wished-for living at last, and is gone;” “And what is the new one like?” “Oh, such a beast! Weston his name is. I can give you‘his description in three words—an insensate, ugly, stupid block- head. That’s four, but no matter—enough of 4zm now.” Then she returned to the ball, and gave me a further account of her deportment there, and at the several parties she had since attended ; and further particulars respecting Sir Thomas Ashby and Messrs. Meltham, Green, and Hatfield, and the ineffaceable impression she had wrought upon each of them. ‘Well, which of the four do,you like best?” said I, suppress- ing my third or fourth yawn.

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““T detest them all!” replied she, shaking her bright ringlets in vivacious scorn. “That means, I suppose, I like them:all—but which most?” “No, I really detest them all; but Harry Meltham is the hand- somest and most amusing, and Mr. Hatfield the cleverest, Sir Thomas the wickedest, and Mr.'Green the most stupid. But the one I'm to have, I suppose, if I’m doomed to have any of them, is Sir Thomas Ashby.”

• 364 AGNES GREY. ‘« Surely not, if he’s so wicked, and if you dislike him?” ‘“‘Oh, I don’t mind his being wicked : he’s all the better for that ; and as for disliking him—TI shouldn't greatly object to being Lady Ashby of Ashby Park, if I must marry. But if I could be always young, I would be always single. I should like to enjoy myself thoroughly, and coquet with all the world, till Iam on the verge of being called an old maid ; and then, to escape the infamy of that, after having made ten thousand conquests, to break all their hearts save one, by marrying some high-born, rich, indul- gent husband, whom, on the other hand, fifty ladies were dying to have.” “Well, as long as you entertain these views, keep single by all means, and never marry at all: not even to escape the infamy of old-maidenhood,” ee CHAPTER X. THE CHURCH.

“WELL, Miss Grey, what do you think of the new curate?” asked Miss Murray, on our return from church the Sunday after the recommencement of our duties. “IT can scarcely tell,” was my reply: ‘‘I have not even heard him preach.” “Well, but you saw him, didn’t you?” “Yes, but I cannot pretend to judge of a man’s character by a single, cursory glance at his face,” “But isn't he ugly?” “‘ He did not strike me as being particularly so ; I don’t dislike that cast of countenance : but the only thing I particularly noticed about him was his style of reading ; which appeared to me good —infinitely better, at least, than Mr. Hatfield’s.

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He read the Lessons as if he were bent on giving full effect to every passage: it seemed as if the most careless person could not have helped attending, nor the most ignorant have failed to understand ; and the prayers he read as if he were not reading at all, but praying earnestly and sincerely from his own heart.”’ ‘Oh, yes, that’s all he is good for: he can plod through the service well enough ; but he has not a single idea beyond it.” “How do you know?” ‘‘Ob! I know perfectly well; I am an excellent judge in such

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AGNES GREY. 365 matters. Did you see how he went out of church? stumping along—as if there were nobody there but himself—never looking to the right hand or the left, and evidently thinking of nothing but just getting out of the church, and, perhaps, home to his dinner: his great stupid head could contain no other idea.” “‘T suppose you would have had him cast a glance into the squire’s pew,” said I, laughing at the vehemence of her hostility. ‘«Indeed! I should have been highly indignant if he had dared to do such a thing!” replied she, haughtily tossing her head; then, after a moment’s reflection, she added—‘‘ Well, well! I suppose he’s good enough for his place: but I’m glad I’m not dependent on zm for amusement—that’s all. Did you see how Mr. Hatfield hurried out to get a bow from me, and be in time to put us into the carriage?”

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“Yes,” answered I; internally adding, ‘‘and I thought it some- what derogatory to his dignity as a clergyman to come flying from the pulpit in such eager haste to shake hands with the squire, and hand his wife and daughters into their carriage: and, more- over, I owe him a grudge for nearly shutting me out of it ;” for, in fact, though I was standing before his face, close beside the carriage steps, waiting to get in, he would persist in putting them up and closing the door, till one of the family stopped him by calling out that the governess was not in yet; then, without a word of apology, he departed, wishing them good-morning, and leaving the footman to finish the business, Nota bene.—Mr. Hatfield never spoke to me, neither did Sir Hugh or Lady Meltham, nor Mr, Harry or Miss Meltham, nor Mr. Green or his sisters, nor any other lady or gentleman who frequented that church: nor, in fact, any one that visited at Horton Lodge.

Miss Murray ordered the carriage again, in the afternoon, for herself and her sister: she said: it was too cold for them to enjoy themselves in the garden: and besides, she believed Harry Mel- tham would be at church. ‘‘ For,” said she, smiling slily at her own fair image in the glass, ‘‘he has been a most exemplary attendant at church these last few Sundays: you would think he was quite a good Christian. And you may go with us, Miss Grey: I want you to see him; he is so greatly improved since he returned from abroad—you can’t think! And besides, then you will have an opportunity of seeing the beautiful Mr, Weston again, and of hearing him preach.”

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• 366: AGNES GREY. Idid hear him:-preach; and was decidedly. pleased with the evan- gelical truth of his doctrine, as well. as the earnest simplicity of his manner, and the clearness and force of his style. It was truly refreshing to hear such a sermon, after being so long accustomed. to the dry, prosy discourses of the former'curate, and the still less edifying harangues of the rector. Mr. Hatfield would. come sail- ing up the aisle, or rather sweeping along like a whirlwind, with his rich silk gown flying behind him and rustling against the pew doors,,mount the pulpit like a conqueror ascending his triumphal car;, then, sinking on the velvet cushion in an attitude of studied grace, remain in silent prostration for a certain time ; then mutter over a Collect, and gabble through the Lord’s Prayer, rise, draw off one bright lavender glove, to give the congregation the benefit of his sparkling rings, lightly pass his, fingers through his well- curled hair, flourish a cambric handkerchief, recite a very short passage, or, perhaps, a mere phrase of Scripture, as a headpiece tashis discourse, and, finally, deliver a composition which, as a composition, might be considered good, though far too studied and too artificial to.be pleasing to me: the propositions were well laid down, the arguments logically conducted; and yet, it was sometimes hard to listen quietly throughout, without some slight demonstrations of disapproval or impatience.

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His favourite) subjects were Church discipline, rites. and cere- monies,.apostolical succession, the duty of reverence and obedi- ence tothe clergy, the atrocious criminality of dissent, the absolute necessity of observing all the forms of godliness, the reprehensible presumption of individuals who-attempted to think for themselves in matters connected with religion, or to be guided by their own in- terpretations of Scripture, and occasionally (to please his wealthy parishioners) the necessity of deferential obedience from the poor to»the rich—supporting his maxims and exhortations throughout with: quotations from the Fathers':; with whom he appeared to be far better acquainted than with the Apostles and Evangelists, and whose importance he seemed to:consider at least equal to theirs.

But now and then he gave us a sermon of a different order—what some would calla very good one; but sunless and severe: repre- senting the Deity: as. a terrible task-master, rather than a benevo- lent father, Yet, as I listened, I felt inclined to think the man wasisincere in all he said: he must have changed, his views, and become decidedly religious ; gloomy and austere, yet still devout, But such illusions were usually dissipated, on ceming out of

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AGNES GREY. 367 chureh, by hearing his voice in jocund colloquy with some of the Melthams or Greens, or, perhaps, the Murrays themselves ; proe bably laughing at his own sermon, and hoping that he had given the rascally people something to think about; perchance, exults ing in the thought that old Betty Holmes would now Iay aside the sinful indulgence of her pipe, which had been her daily solace for upwards of thirty years; that George Higgins would be frightened out of his Sabbath evening walks, and Thomas: Jack- son would be sorely troubled in his conscience, and shaken in his. sure and certain hope of a joyful resurrection at the last day. Thus,, I could not but conclude that Mr.

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Hatfield was one of those who ‘‘ bind heavy burdens, and grievous to be borne, and lay them upon men’s shoulders, while they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers,” and who ‘‘ make the word of God of none effect by their traditions, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.” I was wéll pleased to observe that the new curate resembled him, as far as I could see, in none of these particulars. “ Well, Miss Grey, what do you think of him now?” said Miss Murray, as we took our places im the carriage after service. “No harm still,” replied I.. ‘‘No harm!” repeated: she, in amazement.. ‘What do you mean?” «‘T mean, [ think no worse of him than I did before.” ‘No worse! I should think not indeed—quite the contrary! Is he not greatly improved?” “Oh, yes ; very much indeed,” replied I; for I had now dis- covered that it was Harry Meltham she meant, not. Mr. Weston.

That gentleman had eagerly come forward to speak to the young ladies : a thing he would hardly have ventured to do had their mother been present ; he had likewise politely handed them into: the carriage. He had not attempted to shut me out, like Mr. Hatfield; neither, of course, had he offered me his assistance (I should not have accepted it, if he had), but as long as the door remained open he had stood smirking and chatting with them, and then lifted his hat and departed to his own abode: but I had scarcely noticed him all the time. My companions, how- ever, had been more: observant; and, as we rolled along, they discussed between them not only his looks, words, and actions, but every feature of his face, and every article of his apparel, “‘You shan’t have him all to yourself, Rosalie,” said Miss.

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• 368 AGNES GREY. Matilda at the close of this discussion ; “T like him: I know he’d make a nice, jolly companion for me.’ ‘Well, you're quite welcome to him, Matilda,”’ replied her sister, in a tone of affected indifference. ‘« And I’m sure,” continued the other, ‘‘he admires me quite as much as he does you; doesn’t he, Miss Grey?” ‘‘T don’t know; I’m not acquainted with his sentiments.” “Well, but he does though.” “My dear Matilda! nobody will ever admire you till you get rid of your rough, awkward manners.” ‘‘Oh, stuff! dairy Meltham likes such manners; and so do papa’s friends.” ““Well, you may captivate old men, and younger sons ; but nobody else, I am sure, will ever take a fancy to you.” “‘T don’t care: I’m not always grubbing after money, like you and mamma. If my husband is able to keep a few good horses and dogs, I shall be quite satisfied ; and all the rest may go to the devil!”

“Well, if you use such shocking expressions, I’m sure no real gentleman will ever venture to come near you. Really, Miss Grey, you should not let her do so.” “‘T can’t possibly prevent it, Miss Murray.” “And you're quite mistaken, Matilda, in supposing that Harry Meltham admires you: I assure you he does nothing of the kind.” Matilda was beginning an angry reply; but, happily, our jour- ney was now at an end; and the contention was cut short by the footman opening the carriage door, and letting down the steps for our descent. CHAP TE Rx THE COTTAGERS, As I had now only one regular pupil—though she contrived to give me as much trouble as three or four ordinary ones, and though her sister still took lessons in German and drawing—I had considerably more time at my own disposal than I had ever been blessed with before, since I had taken upon me the governess's yoke; which time I devoted partly to correspondence with my

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AGNES GREY, 369 friends, partly to reading, study, and the practice of music, sing- ing, &c., partly to wandering in the grounds or adjacent fields, with my pupils if they wanted me, alone if they did not. Often, when they had no more agreeable occupation at hand, the Misses Murray would amuse themselves with visiting the poor cottagers on their father’s estate, to receive their flattering homage, or to hear the old stories or gossiping news of the garru- Jous old women ; or, perhaps, to enjoy the purer pleasure of mak ing the poor people happy with their cheering presence and their occasional gifts, so easily bestowed, so thankfully received.

Some- times, I was called upon to accompany one or both of the sisters in these visits ; and sometimes I was desired to go alone, to fulfil some promise which they had been more ready to make than to perform; to carry some small donation, or read to one who was sick or seriously disposed : and thus I made a few acquaint- ances among the cottagers ; and, occasionally, I went to see them on my own account. I generally had more satisfaction in going alone than with either of the young ladies ; for they, chiefly owing to their defective educa- tion, comported themselves towards their inferiors in a manner that was highly disagreeable for me to witness.

They never, in thought, exchanged places with them; and, consequently, had no consideration for their feelings, regarding them as an order of beings entirely different from themselves, They would watch the poor creatures at their meals, making uncivil remarks about their food, and their manner of eating ; they would laugh at their simple notions and provincial expressions, till some of them scarcely durst venture to speak ; they would call the grave elderly men and women old fools and silly old blockheads to their faces ; and all this without meaning to offend. I could see that the people were often hurt and annoyed by such conduct, though their fear of the ‘‘ grand ladies” prevented them from testifying any resentment ; but ¢/zy never perceived it.

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They thought that, as these cottagers were poor and untaught, they must be stupid and brutish ; and as long as they, their superiors, condescended to talk to them, and to give them shillings and half-crowns, or articles of clothing, they had a right to amuse themselves, even at their expense ; and the people must adore them as angels of light, condescending to minister to their necessities, and enlighten their humble dwellings. I made many and various attempts to deliver my pupils from

• 370 AGNES GREY. these delusive notions without alarming their pride—which was easily offended, and not soon appeased—but with little apparent result ; and I know not which was the more reprehensible of the two: Matilda. was more rude and boisterous ; but from Rosalie’s womanly age and ladylike exterior better things were expected ; yet she was as provokingly careless and inconsiderate as a giddy child of twelve. One bright day in the last week of February, I was walking in the park, enjoying the threefold luxury of solitude, a book, and pleasant weather ; for Miss Matilda had set. out on her daily ride, and Miss Murray was gone in the carriage with her mamma to pay some morning calls.

But it struck me that I ought to leave these selfish pleasures, and the park with its glorious canopy of bright blue sky, the west wind sounding through its yet leafless branches, the. snow-wreaths still lingering in its hollows, but melting fast beneath the sun, and the graceful deer browsing on its moist herbage, already assuming the freshness and verdure of spring—and go to the cottage of one Nancy Brown, a widow, whose son was at work all day in the fields, and who was afflicted with an inflammation in the eyes; which had for some time incapacitated her from reading: to her own great grief, for she was a.woman of a serious, thoughtful. turn of mind. I accord- ingly went, and found her alone, as usual, in her little, close, dark cottage, redolent of smoke and confined air, but as tidy and clean as she could make it..

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She was seated beside her little fire (consisting of a few red cinders.and a bit. of stick), busily knitting, with a small sackcloth cushion at her feet, placed for the accom- modation of her gentle friend the cat; who was. seated thereon with her long tail half encircling her velvet paws, and. her half- closed eyes dreamily gazing on the low, crooked fender, ‘‘Well, Nancy, how are you to-day?” ‘‘Why, middling, miss, i’ myseln—my, eyes is no better, but I’m a deal easier i’ my mind nor I have been,” replied she, rising to welcome me with a contentedsmile : which I was glad to see, for Nancy had been somewhat afflicted with religious melancholy.

I congratulated her upon the change., She agreed that it was a great blessing, and expressed herself ‘‘right down thankful for it ;” adding, ‘If it please God to spare my sight, and make me so as I can read my Bible again, I think I shall be as happy as a queen,” “‘T hope He will, Nancy,” replied I; ‘and, meantime, I'll

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AGNES GREY. 371 come and read to you now and then, when I have a little time to spare.” With expressions of grateful pleasure, the poor woman moved to get me a chair ; but, as I saved her the trouble, she busied herself with stirring the fire, and adding a few more sticks to the decaying embers; and then, taking her well-used Bible from the shelf, dusted it carefully, and gave itme. On my asking if there was any particular part she should like me to read, she answered— ‘« Well, Miss Grey, if it’s all the same to you I should like to hear that chapter in the First Epistle of St. John, that says, ‘God is love, and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.’” With a little searching, I found these words in the- fourth chapter.

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When I came to the seventh verse she interrupted me, and, with needless apologies for such a liberty, desired me to read it very slowly, that she might take it all in, and dwell on every word ; hoping I would excuse her, asshe was but a ‘‘simple body.” ‘«The wisest person,” I replied, ‘‘ might think over each of these verses for an hour, and be all the better for it; and I would rather read them slowly than not.” Accordingly, I finished the chapter as slowly as need be, and at the same time as impressively as I could ; my auditor listened most attentively all the while, and sincerely thanked me when I had done. I sat still about half a minute to give her time to reflect upon it; when, somewhat to my surprise, she broke the pause by asking me how I liked Mr, Weston? ‘‘T don’t know,” I replied, a little startled by the suddenness of the question; ‘‘I think he preaches very well.” «« Ay, he does so; and talks well too.” “Does he?”

‘‘He does. Maybe, you haven’t seen him—not to talk to him much, yet?” ‘No, I never see any one to talk to—except the young ladies of the hall.” ‘© Ah; they'renice, kind young ladies ; but they can’t talk as he does.” ‘«Then he comes to see you, Nancy?” “(He does, miss; and I’se thankful for it. He comes to see all us poor bodies a deal ofter nor Maister Bligh, or th’ Rector ever did; an’ it’s well he does, for he’s always welcome: we

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• 372 AGNES GREY. can’t say as much for th’ Rector—there is ’at says they’re fair feared on him. When he comes into a house, they say he’s sure to find summut wrong, and begin a calling ‘em as soon as he crosses th’ doorstuns: but maybe he thinks it his duty-like to tell °em what's wrong. And very oft he comes o’ purpose to reprove folk for not coming to church, or not kneeling an’ stand- ing when other folk does, or going to the Methody chapel, or summut o’ that sort: but I can’t say ’at he ever fund much fault wi’ me. He came to see me once or twice, afore Maister Weston come, when I was so ill troubled in my mind; and as I had only very poor health besides, I made bold to send for him—and he came right enough. I was sore distressed, Miss Grey—thank God, it's owered now—but when I took my Bible, I could get no comfort of it at all.

That very chapter ’at you've just been reading troubled me as much as aught—‘ He that loveth not, knoweth not God.’ It seemed fearsome to me; for I felt that I loved neither God nor man as I should do, and could not, if I tried ever so, And th’ chapter afore, where it says—‘ He that js born of God cannot commit sin.’ And another place where it says—‘ Love is the fulfilling of the Law.’ And many, many others, miss: I should fair weary you out, if I was to tell them all. But all seemed to condemn me, and to show me ’at I was not in the right way ; and as I knew not how to get into it, I sent our Bill to beg Maister Hatfield to be as kind as look in on me some day ; and when he came, I telled him all my troubles,” ‘And what did he say, Nancy ?” ‘“Why, miss, he seemed to scorn me. I might be mista’en— but he like gave a sort of a whistle, and I saw a bit of a smile on his face; and he said, ‘ Oh it’s all stuff!

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You've been among the Methodists, my good woman.’ But I telled him I’d never been near the Methodies. And then he said— ““* Well,’ says he, ‘you must come to church, where you'll hear the Scriptures properly explained, instead of sitting poring over your Bible at home.’ ; “But I telled him I always used coming to church when I had my health ; but this very cold winter weather I hardly durst venture so far—and me so bad wi’ th’ rheumatiz and all. “But he says, ‘It'll do your rheumatiz good to hobble to church : there’s nothing like exercise for the rheumatiz. You can walk about the house well enough ; why can’t you waik to church? ‘The fact is,’ says he, ‘ you're getting too fond of your

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AGNES GREY, 373 ease, It’s always easy to find excuses for shirking one's duty.’ “But then, you know, Miss Grey, it wasn’t so. However, I telled him I’d try. ‘But please, sir,’ says I, ‘‘if I do goto church, what the better shall I be? I want to have my sins blotted out, and to feel that they are remembered no more against me, and that the love of God is shed abroad in my heart; and if I can get no good by reading my Bible an’ saying my prayers at home, what good shall I get by going to church?’ «« The church,” says he, ‘is the place appointed by God for His worship. It’s your duty to go there as often as you can. If you want comfort, you must seek it in the path of duty ’—an’ a deal more he said, but I cannot remember all his fine words.

However, it all came to this, that I was to come to church as oft as ever I could, and bring my Prayer-book with me, an’ read up all-the sponsers after the clerk, an’ stand, an’ kneel, an’ sit, an’ do all as I should, and take the Lord’s Supper at every opportunity, an’ hearken his sermons, and Maister Bligh’s, an’ it ’ud be all right: if I went on doing my duty, I should get a blessing at last. “«« But if you get no comfort that way,’ says he, ‘it’s all up.’ ‘«Then sir,’ says I, ‘should you think I’m a reprobate?’ “« Why,’ says he—he says, ‘if you do your best to get to heaven and can’t manage it, you must be one of those that seek to enter in at the strait gate and shall not be able.’

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“ An’ then he asked me if I’d seen any of the ladies o’ th’ Hall about that mornin’; so I telled him where I had seen the young missis go on th’ Moss-lane ;—an’ he kicked my poor cat right across th’ floor, an’ went after em as gay as a lark: but I was very sad. That last word o’ his fair sunk into my heart, an’ lay there like a lump o’ lead, till I was weary to bear it. “‘Howsever, I follered his advice: I thought he meant it all for th’ best, though he “ad a queer way with him, But you know, miss, he’s rich an’ young, and such like cannot right understand the thoughts of a poor old woman such as me, But howsever, I did my best to do all as he bade me—but maybe I’m plaguing you, miss, wi’ my chatter.” “Oh no, Nancy !. Go on, and tell me all.” “Well, my rheumatiz got better—I know not whether wi’ going to church or not, but one frosty Sunday I got this cold i’ my eyes, Th’ inflammation didn’t come on all at once like,

• 374 AGNES GREY. but bit by bit—but I wasn’t going to tell you about my eyes, I was talking about my trouble o’ mind ;—and to tell the truth, Miss Grey, I don't think it was anyways eased by coming to church—nought to speak on, at least: I like got my health better; but that didn’t mend my soul. I hearkened and heark- ened the ministers, and readan’ read at my Prayer-book ; but it was all like sounding brass, and a tinkling cymbal: the sermons IT couldn't understand, an’ th’ Prayer-book only served to show me how wicked I was, that I could read such good words an’ never be no better for it, and oftens feel-it a sore labour an’ a heavy task beside, instead of a blessing and a privilege as all good Christians does. It seemed like as all were barren an’ dark tome. ‘And then, them dreadful words, ‘Many shall seek to enter in, andshall not be able.’ They like as they fair dried up my sperrit.

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“But one Sunday, when Maister Hatfield gave out about the sacrament, I noticed where he said, ‘If there be any of you that cannot quiet his own conscience, but requireth further ,;comfort or counsel, let him come to me, or some other |discreet and learned minister of God’s word, and open his grief!’ So, next Sunday morning, afore service, I just looked into the vestry, an’ began a talking to th’ Rector again. I hardly could fashion to take such.a liberty, but J thought when my soul was at stake I-shouldn’t stick ata trifle. But he said he hadn't time to attend to me then, “““And, indeed,’ says the, ‘I’ve nothing to say to you but what I’ve said before. ‘Take the sacrament, of course, and go on doing your duty; and if that won't serve you, nothing will. So don’t bother me any more,’ ““So then, I went away.

But I heard Maister Weston— Maister Weston was there, miss—this was his first Sunday at Horton, you know, an’ he was i’ ‘th’ vestry in his surplice, helping th’ Rector on with his gown.”’ “Yes, Nancy,” “* And I heard him ask Maister Hatfield who I was; an’ he says, ‘Oh, she’s a canting old fool.’ ‘‘And I was very ill grieved, Miss Grey; but I went to my seat, and I tried to do my duty as,aforetime: but I like got no peace. An’ I even took the ‘sacrament; but I:felt-as though I were eating and drinking to my own damnation all th’ time, So I went home, ‘sorely troubled.

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AGNES GREY. 375 s* But next day, afore I'd gotten fettled up—for indeed, miss, I'd no heart to sweeping an’ fettling, an’ washing pots; so I sat me down i’ th’ muck—who should come in but Maister Weston! I started siding stuff then, an’ sweeping an’ doing; and I ex- pected he’d begin a calling me for my idle ways, as Maister Hatfield would a’ done; but I was mista’en: he only bid me good mornin’ like, ina quiet dacent way. So I dusted him a chair, an’ fettled up th’ fireplace a bit; but I hadn’t forgotten th’ Rector’s words, so says I, ‘I wonder, sir, you should give yourself that trouble, to come'so far to see a ‘‘ canting old fool,” such as me.’

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“He seemed taken aback at that; but he would fain persuade me ‘at the Rector was only iin jest; and when that wouldn't do, he says, ‘ Well, Nancy, you shouldn’t think so much about it : Mr, Hatfield was a little out of humour just then: you know we're none.of us perfect—-even Moses spoke unadvisedly with his lips. But nowsit down a minute, if you ean spare the time, and tell me all your doubts and fears ; and I'll try to remove them.’ ““So I sat me down anent him. He was quite a stranger, you know, Miss Grey,:and even younger nor Maister Hatfield, I believe; an’ I had thought him not so pleasant-looking as him, and rathera bit crossish, at first to look at; but he spake so civil like—and when th’ cat, poor thing, jumped on to his knee, he only stroked her, and gave a bit of a smile: so I thought that was.a good sign; for once, when she did so to th’ Rector, he knocked her off, Jike as it might be in scorn and anger, poor thing.

But you can’t expect a cat to know manners like a Christian, you know, Miss Grey.” ““No; of course not, Nancy. But what did Mr. Weston say then?” “He said naught; but he listened to meas steady an’ patient as could be, an’ never a bit o’ scorn about him ; so I went on, an’ telled him all, just.as I’ve telled you—an’ more ‘too. ««« Well,’ says he, ‘Mr. Hatfield was quite right in telling you to persevere in doing your duty ; but in advising you to go to church and attend to the service, and so on, he didn’t mean that was the whole of a Christian’s duty: he only thought you might there learn what more was to be done, and be led to take delight in those exercises, instead of finding them a task and a burden. And if you had asked him to explain those words that trouble you so much, I think he would have told you, that if many shall seek to enter in at the strait gate and shall not be able, it iis

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• 376 AGNES GREY. their own sins that hinder them ; just as a man with a large sack on his back might wish to pass through a narrow doorway, and find it impossible to do so unless he would leave his sack behind him. But you, Nancy, I dare say, have no sins that you would not gladly throw aside, if you knew how?’ ‘«« Indeed, sir, you speak truth,’ said I, ««« Well,’ says he, ‘you know the first and great command- ment—and the second, which is like unto it—on which two com- mandments hang all the law and the prophets? You say you cannot love God ; but it strikes me that if you rightly consider who and what He is, you cannot helpit. He is your father, your best friend: every blessing, everything good, pleasant, or useful, comes from Him ; and everything evil, everything you have reason to hate, to shun, or to fear, comes from Satan—Hzs enemy as well as ours.

And for 747s cause was God manifest in the flesh, that He might destroy the works of the devil: in one word, God is LOVE; and the more of love we have within us, the nearer we are to Him, and the more of His spirit we possess.’ ««« Well, sir,’ I said, ‘if I can always think on these things, I think I might well love God: but how can I love my neighbours, when they vex me, and be so contrairy and sinful as some on “em is?’ «««Tt may seem a hard matter,’ says he, ‘to love our neigh- bours, who have so much of what is evil about them, and whose faults so often awaken the evil that lingers within ourselves ; but remember that He made them, and He loves them ; and whoso- ever loveth him that begat, loveth him that is begotten also. And if God so loveth us, that He gave His only begotten Son to die for us, we ought also tolove oneanother.

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But if you cannot feel positive affection for those who do not care for you, you can at least try to do to them as you would they should do unto you : you can endeavour to pity their failings and excuse their offences, and to do all the good you can to those about you. And if you accustom yourself to this, Nancy, the very effort itself will make you love them in some degree—to say nothing of the goodwill your kindness would beget in them, though they might have little else that is good about them. If we love God and wish to serve Him, let us try to be like Him, to do His work, to labour for His glory—which is the good of man—to hasten the coming of His kingdom, which is the peace and happiness of all the world: however powerless we may seem to be, in doing all the good we

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AGNES GREY. 377 can through life, the humblest of us may do much towards it; and let us dwell in love, that He may dwell in us and we in Him. The more happiness we bestow, the more we shall receive, even here; and the greater will be our reward in heaven when we rest from our labours.’ I believe, miss, them is his very words, for I’ve thought ’em ower many a time, An’ then he took that Bible, an’ read bits here and there, an’ explained ’em as clear as the day: and it seemed like as a new light broke in on my soul ; an’ I felt fair a glow about my heart, an’ only wished poor Bill an’ all the world could ha’ been there, an’ heard it all, and re- joiced wi’ me. «After he was gone, Hannah Rogers, one o’ th’ neighbours, came in and wanted me to help her to wash. I telled her I couldn’t just then, for I hadn’t set on th’ potaties for th’ dinner, nor washed up th’ breakfast stuff yet. So then she began a call- ing me for my nasty idle ways.

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I was a little bit vexed at first, but I never said nothing wrong to her: I only telled her, like all in a quiet way, ’at I’d had th’ new parson to see me; but I'd get done as quick as ever I could, an’ then come an’ help her, So then she softened down ; and my heart like as it warmed towards her, an’ in a bit we was very good friends. An’ so it is, Miss Grey, ‘a soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger.’ It isn’t only in them you speak to, but in yourself.” “Very true, Nancy, if we could always remember it.” “« Ay, if we could !” “And did Mr. Weston ever come to see you again?” ‘‘Yes, many a time; and since my eyes has been so bad, he’s sat an’ read to me by the half-hour together: but you know, miss, he has other folks to see, and other things to do—God bless him! An’ that next Sunday he preached szchasermon!

His text was, ‘Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest,’ and them two blessed verses that follows. You wasn't there, miss, you was with your friends then—but it made me so happy! And I am happy now, thank God! an’ I take a pleasure, now, in doing little bits o’ jobs for my neigh- bours—such as a poor old body ’a ’ts half blind can do; and they take it kindly of me, just as he said. You see, miss, I’m knitting a pair o’ stockings now ;—they’re for Thomas Jackson ; he’s a queerish old body, an’ we’ve had many a bout at threap- ing, one anent t’ other ; an’ at times we've differed sorely, Sol

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• 378 _AGNES GREY. thought I couldn’t do better nor knit him a pair o’ warm stock- ings; an’ I’ve felt to like him a deal better, poor old man, sin’ ] began. It’s turned out just as Maister Weston said.” “Well, I’m very glad to see you so happy, Nancy, and so wise : but I must go now; I shall be wanted at the hall,” said I; and bidding her good-bye, I departed, promising to come again when I had time, and feeling nearly as happy as her- self. At another time, I went to read to a poor labourer who was in the last stage of consumption. The young ladies had been to see him, and somehow a promise of reading had been extracted from them; but it was too much trouble, so they begged we to do it instead. I went, willingly enough ; and there too I was gratified with the praises of Mr. Weston, both from the sick man and his wife.

The former told me that he derived great comfort and benefit from the visits of the new parson, who frequently came to see him, and was ‘‘another guess sort of man” to Mr. Hatfield ; who before the other’s arrival at Horton had now and then paid him a visit; on which occasions he would always insist upon haying the cottage door kept open, to admit the fresh air for his own convenience, without considering how it might injure the sufferer: and having opened his Prayer-book and hastily read over a part of the Service for the Sick, would hurry away again: if he did not stay to administer some harsh rebuke to the afflicted wife, or to make some thoughtless, not to say heartless, observation, rather calculated to increase than diminish the troubles of the suffering pair.

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“« Whereas,” said the man, ‘‘ Maister Weston ’ull pray with me quite in a different fashion, an’ talk to me as kind as owt ; an’ oft read to me too, an’ sit beside me just like a brother.” ‘Just for all the world!” exclaimed his wife; ‘‘an’ about a three wik sin’, when he seed how poor Jem shivered wi’ cold, an’ what pitiful fires we kept, he axedif wer stock of coals was nearly done. I telled him it was, an’ we was ill set to get more: but you know, mum, I didn’t think 0’ him helping us; but howsever, he sent us a sack o’ coals next day; an’ we’ve had good fires ever sin: an’ a great blessing it is, this winter time. But that’s his way, Miss Grey : when he comes into 2 poor body's house a seein’ sick folk, he like notices what they most stand i’ need on; an’ if he thinks they can't readily get it therseln, he never says nowt about it, but just gets it for ’em. An’ it isn’t every-

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AGNES GREY, 379 body ’at ’ud do that, ’at has as little as he has: for you know, mum, he’s nowt at all to live on but what he gets fra’ th’ rector, an’ that’s little enough they say.” I remembered then, with a species of exultation, that he had frequently been styled a vulgar brute by the amiable Miss Murray, because he wore a silver watch, and clothes not quite so bright and fresh as Mr. Hatfield’s. In returning to the lodge I felt very happy, and thanked God that I had now something to think about : something to dwell on as a relief from the weary monotony, the lonely drudgery, of my present life: for lwaslonely.

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Never, from month to month, from year to year, except during my brief intervals of rest-at home, did I see one creature to whom I could open my heart, or freely speak my thoughts with any hope of sympathy, or even comprehension : never one, unless it were poor Nancy Brown, with whom I could enjoy a single moment of real social inter- course, or whose conversation was calculated to render me better, wiser, or happier than before ; or who, as far as I could see, could be greatly benefited by mine. My only companions had been unamiable children, and ignorant, wrang-headed girls ; from whose fatiguing folly, unbroken solitude was often a relief most earnestly desired and dearly prized. But to be restricted to such associates was a serious evil, both in its immediate effects and the consequences that were likely to ensue.

Never a new idea or stirring thought came to me from without: and such as rose within me were, for the most part, miserably crushed at once, or doomed to sicken and fade away, because they could not see the light. Habitual associates are known to exercise a great influence over each other’s minds and manners. Those whose actions are for ever before our eyes, whose words are ever in our ears, will naturally lead us, albeit against our will, slowly, gradually, imperceptibly, perhaps, to act and speak as they do. I will not presume to say how far this irresistible power of assimilation extends ; but if one civilised man were doomed to pass a dozen years amid a race of intractable savages, unless he had power to improve them, I greatly question whether, at the close of that period, he would not have become, at least, a barbarian himself.

And I, asI could not make my young companions better, feared exceedingly that they would make me worse—would gradually bring my feelings, habits, capacities, to the level of their own ;

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• 380 AGNES GREY. without, however, imparting to me their light-heartedness and cheerful vivacity. Already, I seemed to feel my intellect deteriorating, my heart petrifying, my soul contracting; and I trembled lest my very moral perceptions should become deadened, my distinctions of right and wrong confounded, and all my better faculties be sunk, at last, beneath the baneful influence of such a mode of life. The gross vapours of earth were gathering around me, and closing in upon my inward heaven; and thus it was that Mr. Weston rose at length upon me, appearing like the morning-star in my horizon, to save me from the fear of utter darkness ; and I rejoiced that 1 had now a subject for contemplation that was above me, not beneath. I was glad to see that all the world was not made up of Bloomfields, Murrays, Hatfields, Ashbys, &c.; and that human excellence was not a mere dream of the imagination.

When we hear a little good and no harm of a person, it is easy and pleasant to imagine more: in short, it is needless to analyse all my thoughts ; but Sunday was now become a day of peculiar delight to me (I was now almost broken-in to the back corner in the carriage), for I liked to hear him—and I liked to see him, too ; though I knew he was not handsome, or even what is called agreeable, in outward aspect: but, certainly, he was not ugly. In stature he was a little, a very little, above the middle size ; the outline of his face would be pronounced too square for beauty, but to me it announced decision of character ; his dark brown hair was not carefully curled, like Mr.

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Hatfield's, but simply brushed aside over a broad white forehead ; the eyebrows, I suppose, were too projecting, but from under those dark brows there gleamed an eye of singular power, brown in colour, not large, and somewhat deep-set, but strikingly brilliant, and full of ex- pression ; there was character, too, in the mouth, something that bespoke a man of firm purpose and a habitual thinker ; and when he smiled—but I will not speak of that yet, for, at the time | mention, I had never seen him smile: and, indeed, his general appearance did not impress me with the idea of a man given to such a relaxation, nor of such an individual as the cottagers described him, I had early formed my opinion of him; and, in spite of Miss Murray’s objurgations, was fuily convinced that he was a man of strong sense, firm faith, and ardent piety, but thoughtful and stern: and when I found that, to his other good

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AGNES GREY. 381 qualities, was added that of true benevolence and gentle, con- siderate kindness, the discovery, perhaps, delighted me the more, as I had not been prepared to expect it. CHAPTER XIL. THE SHOWER. THE next visit I paid to Nancy Brown was in the second week in March : for, though I had many spare minutes during the day, I seldom could look upon an hour as entirely my own; since, where everything was left to the caprices of Miss Matilda and her sister, there could be no order or regularity. Whatever occupa- tion I chose,-when not actually busied about them or their concerns, I had, as it were, to keep my loins girded, my shoes on my feet, and my staff in my hand; for not to be immediately forthcoming when called for, was regarded as a grave and in- excusable offence: not only by my pupils and their mother, but by the very servant, who came in breathless haste to call me, exclaiming, ‘‘ You're to go to the schoolroom dévectly, mum— the young ladies is WAITING!!”

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Climax of horror! actually waiting for their governess ! !! But this time I was pretty sure of an hour or two to myself ; for Matilda was preparing for a long ride, and Rosalie was dressing for a dinner party at Lady Ashby’s: so I took the opportunity of repairing to the widow’s cottage, where I found her in some anxiety about her cat, which had been absent all day. Icomforted her with as many anecdotes of that animal's roving propensities as I could recollect. ‘‘I’m feared o’ th’ gamekeepers,” said she, ‘‘that’s all ’at I think on, If th’ young gentlemen had been at home, I should a’ thought they'd been setting their dogs at her, an’ worried her, poor thing, as they did many a poor thing’s cat ; but I haven’t that to be feared on now.”

Nancy’s eyes were better, but still far from well: she had been trying to make a Sunday shirt for her son, but told me she could only bear to do a little bit at it now and then, so that it progressed but slowly, though the poor lad wanted it sadly. So I proposed to help her a little, after I had read to her, for I had plenty of time that evening, and need not return till dusk. She thankfully

• 382 AGNES GREY. accepted the offer. ‘‘An’ you'll be a bit o’ company for me too, miss,” said she ; ‘‘I like as I feel lonesome without my cat.’” But when I had finished reading, and done the half of a seam, with Nancy’s capacious brass thimble fitted on to my finger by means ofa roll of paper, I was disturbed by the entrance of Mr. Weston, with the identical cat in his arms. I now saw that he could smile, and very pleasantly too. ‘‘T’ve done you a piece of good service, Nancy,” he began: then seeing me, he acknowledged my presence by a slight bow. I should have been invisible to Hatfield, or any other gentleman of those parts. “I’ve delivered your cat,” he continued, ‘‘ from the hands, or rather the gun, of Mr. Murray’s gamekeeper.”

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“God bless you, sir!” cried the grateful old woman, ready to weep for joy as she received her favourite from his arms, “‘ Take care of it,” said he, ‘‘ and don’t let it go near the rabbit warren, for the gamekeeper swears he'll shoot it if he sees it there again: he would have done:so to-day, if I had not been in time to stop him.—I believe it is raining, Miss Grey,” added he, more quietly, observing that I had put aside my work, and was pre- paring to depart. ‘‘ Don’t let me disturb you—I shan't stay two minutes,” “You'll doth stay while this shower gets owered,” said Nancy, as she stirred the fire, and placed another chair beside it; ‘what! there’s room for all.” ‘I can see better here, thank you, Nancy,” replied I, taking my work to the window, where she had the goodness to suffer me to remain unmolested, while she got a brush to remove the cat’s hairs from Mr.

Weston’s coat, carefully wiped the rain from his hat, and gave the cat its supper, busily talking all the time: now thanking her clerical friend for what he had done; now wondering how the cat had found out the warren; and now lamenting the probable consequences of such a discovery. He listened with a quiet, good-natured smile, and at length took a seat in compliance with her pressing invitations, but repeated that he did not mean to stay. “‘T have another place to go to,” said he, *‘ and I see” (glanc- ing at the book on the table) ‘‘some one else has been reading to you.” “Yes, sir; Miss Grey has been as kind as read me a chapter ; an’ now she’s helping me with a shirt for our Bill—but I’m feared she'll be cold there. Won't you come to th’ fire, miss?”

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AGNES GREY. 383 ‘* No, thank you, Nancy, I'm quite warm. I must go as soon as this shower is over.’ “Oh, miss! You said you could stop while dusk !” cried the provoking old woman, and Mr. Weston seized his hat. “Nay, sir,” exclaimed she, ‘‘ pray don’t go now, while it rains so fast.” “But it strikes me I’m keeping your visitor away from the fire.” ‘“No, you're not, Mr. Weston,” replied I, hoping there was no harm in a falsehood of that description. ‘“No, sure!” cried Nancy. ‘‘ What, there’s lots 0’ room!” “Miss Grey,” said he, half-jestingly, as if he felt it necessary- to change the present subject, whether he had anything particular to say or not, ‘‘ I wish you would make my peace with the squire, when you see him. He was by when I rescued Nancy’s cat, and did not quite approve of the deed.

I told him I thought he might better spare all his rabbits than she her cat, for which audacious assertion he treated me to some rather ungentlemanly language ; and I fear I retorted a trifle too warmly.” “Oh, lawful sir! I hope you didn’t fall out wi’ th’ maister for sake o’ my cat! he cannot bide answering again—can th’ maister.”’ “Oh! it’s no matter, Nancy : I don’t care about it, really; I said nothing very uncivil ; and I suppose Mr, Murray is accus- tomed to use rather strong language when he’s heated,” ‘OKy, sir > it’s a ‘pity !)” ‘And now, I really must go. I have to visit a place a mile beyond this ; and you would not have me to return in the dark : besides, it has nearly done raining now—so good evening, Nancy, Good evening, Miss Grey.” “Good evening, Mr. Weston ; but don’t depend upon me for making your peace with Mr. Murray, for I never see him—to- speak to.”

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‘‘Don’t you? it can’t be helped then,” replied he in dolorous resignation: then with a peculiar half-smile, he added, ‘‘ Bat never mind ; I imagine the squire has more to apologise for than J,” And left the cottage. I went on with my sewing as long as I could see, and then bade Nancy good-evening; checking her too lively gratitude by the undeniable assurance that I had only done for her what she would have done for me, if she had been in my place and I in hers, I hastened back to Horton Lodge, where having entered the school«

• 384 AGNES GREY. room, I found the tea-table all in confusion, the tray flooded with slops, and Miss Matilda in a most ferocious humour. : _ ‘Miss Grey, whatever have you been about? I’ve had tea half-an-hour ago, and had to make it myself, and drink it all alone! I wish you would come in sooner!” ‘“J've been to see Nancy Brown. I thought you would not be back from your ride.” “« How could I ride in the rain, I should like to know? That damned pelting shower was vexatious enough—coming on when I was just in full swing: and then to come and find nobody in to tea !—and you know I can’t make the tea as I like it.” ‘“‘T didn’t think of the shower,” replied I (and indeed, the thought of its driving her home had never entered my head). ‘No, of course ; you were under shelter yourself, and you never thought of other people.”

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I bore her coarse reproaches with astonishing equanimity, even with cheerfulness ; for I was sensible that I had done more good to Nancy Brown than harm to her: and perhaps*some other thoughts assisted to keep up my spirits, and impart a relish to the cup of cold, overdrawn tea, and a charm to the otherwise unsightly table; and—I had almost said—to Miss Matilda’s unamiable face. But she soon betook herself to the stables, and left me to the quiet enjoyment of my solitary meal. CHAPTER XIII, THE PRIMROSES. Miss MurRAY now always went twice to church, for she so loved admiration that she could not bear to lose a single opportunity of obtaining it ; and she was so sure of it wherever she showed herself, that whether Harry Meltham and Mr. Green were there or not, there was certain to be somebody present who would not be insensible to her charms: besides the Rector, whose official capacity generally obliged him to attend.

Usually, also, if the weather permitted, both she and her sister would walk home; Matilda, because she hated the confinement of the carriage ; she, because she disliked the privacy of it, and enjoyed the company that generally enlivened the first mile of the journey in walking

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AGNES GREY. 385 from the church to Mr. Green’s park-gates: near which com- menced the private road to Horton Lodge, which lay in the opposite direction ; while the highway conducted in a straight- forward course to the still more distant mansion of Sir Hugh Meltham. Thus there was always a chance of being accom- panied, so far, either by Harry Meltham, with or without Miss Meltham, or Mr. Green, with perhaps one or both of his sisters, and any gentlemen visitors they might have. Whether I walked with the young ladies or rode with their parents, depended upon their own capricious will: if they chose to ‘‘take”’ me, I went; if, for reasons best known to themselves, they chose to go alone, I took my seat in the carriage.

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I jliked walking better, but a sense of reluctance to obtrude my presence on any one who did not desire it, always kept me passive on these and similar occasions ; and J never inquired into the causes of their varying whims. Indeed, this was the best policy—for to submit and oblige was the governess’s part, to consult their own pleasure was that of the pupils. But when I did walk, the first half of the journey was generally a great nuisance to me. As none of the before-mentioned ladies and gentlemen ever noticed me, it was disagreeable to walk beside them, as if listen- ing to what they said, or wishing to be thought one of them, while they talked over me, or across ; and if their eyes, in speak- ing, chanced to fall on me, it seemed as if they looked on vacancy —as if they either did not see me, or were very desirous to make it appear so.

It was disagreeable, too, to walk behind, and thus appear to acknowledge my own inferiority ; for, in truth, I considered myself pretty nearly as good as the best of them, and wished them to know that I did so, and not to imagine that I looked upon myself as a mere domestic, who knew her own place too well to walk beside such fine Jadies and gentlemen as they were—though her young ladies might choose to have her with them, and even condescend to converse with her when no better company were at hand. Thus—I am almost ashamed to confess it—but indeed I gave myself no little trouble in my en- deavours (if I did keep up with them) to appear perfectly uncon- scious or regardless of their presence, as if I were wholly absorbed in my own reflections, or the contemplation of surrounding objects ; or, if I lingered behind, it was some bird or insect, some tree or flower, that attracted my attention, and having duly examined that, I would pursue my walk alone, at a leisurely : N

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• 386 AGNES GREY. pace; until my pupils had bidden adieu to their companions, and turned off into the quiet, private road. One such occasion I particularly well remember: it was a lovely afternoon about the close of March; Mr. Green and his sisters had sent their carriage back empty, in order to enjoy the bright sunshine and balmy air in a sociable walk home along with their visitors, Captain Somebody and Lieutenant Somebody-else (a couple of military fops), and the Misses Murray, who, of course, contrived to join them.

Such a party was highly agreeable to Rosalie ; but not finding it equally suitable to my taste, I pre- sently fell back, and began to botanise and entomologise along the green banks and budding hedges, till the company was con- siderably in advance of me, and I could hear the sweet song of the happy lark; then my spirit of misanthropy began to melt away beneath the soft, pure air and genial sunshine: but sad thoughts of early childhood, and yearnings for departed joys, or for a brighter future lot, arose instead. As my eyes wandered over the steep banks covered with young grass and green-leaved plants, and surmounted by budding hedges, I longed intensely for some familiar flower that might recall the woody dales or green hill-sides of home: the brown moorlands, of course, were out of the question. Such a discovery would make my eyes gush out with water, no doubt ; but that was one of my greatest enjoy- ments now.

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At length I descried, high up between the twisted roots of an oak, three lovely primroses, peeping so sweetly from their hiding-place that the tears already started at the sight ; but they grew so high above me, that I tried in vain to gather one or two, to dream over and to carry with me : I could not reach them unless I climbed the bank, which I was deterred from doing by hearing a footstep at that moment behind me, and was, therefore, about to turn away, when I was startled by the words, ‘“ Allow me to gather them for you, Miss Grey,” spoken in the grave, low tones of a well-known voice. Immediately the flowers were gathered, and in my hand. It was Mr. Weston, of course—who else would trouble himself to do so much for me ? I thanked him ; whether warmly or coldly, I cannot tell: but certain Iam that I did not express half the gratitude I felt.

It was foolish, perhaps, to feel any gratitude at all; but it seemed to me, at that moment, as if this were a remarkable instance of his good-nature: an act of kindness which I could not repay, but never should forget : so utterly unaccustomed was I toreceive

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AGNES GREY. 387 such civilities, so littke prepared to expect them from. any one within fifty miles of Horton Lodge. Yet this did not prevent me from feeling a little uncomfortable in his presence; and I pro- ceeded to follow my pupils at a much quicker pace than before ; though perhaps, if Mr. Weston had taken the hint and let me pass without another word, I might have repented it an hour after: but he did not. A somewhat rapid walk for me, was but an ordinary pace for him. ‘Your young ladies have left you alone,” said he. «'Yes, they are occupied with more agreeable company.” ‘« Then don’t trouble yourself to overtake them.” Islackened my pace ; but next moment regretted having done sO: my companion did not speak; and I had nothing in the world to say, and feared he might be in the same predicament. At length, however, he broke the pause by asking, with a certain quiet abruptness peculiar to himself, if [liked flowers.

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“« Yes; very much,” I answered: ‘‘ wild flowers especially.” ‘*T like wild flowers,” said he; ‘‘ others I don’t care about, because I have no particular associations connected with them— except one or two. What are your favourite flowers?” ‘«Primroses, blue-bells, and heath-blossoms,”” “ Not violets?” “No; because, as you say, I have no particular associations connected with them ; for there are no sweet violets among the hills and valleys round my home.” ‘Tt must be a great consolation to you to have a home, Miss Grey,” observed my companion after a short pause: ‘‘ how- ever remote, or however seldom visited, still it is something to look to.” “It is somuch that I think I could not live without it,” replied I, with an enthusiasm of which I immediately repented ; for I thought it must have sounded essentially silly. “Oh yes; youcould,” said he, witha thoughtfulsmile.

‘The ties that bind us to life are tougher than you imagine, or than any one can who has not felt how roughly they may be pulled without breaking. You might be miserable without a home, but even you could live ; and not somiserably as you suppose. The human heart is like Indian-rubber : a little swells it, but a great deal will not burst it. If ‘little more than nothing will disturb it, little less than all things will suffice’ to break it. As in the outer members of our frame, there is.a vital power inherent in

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• 388 AGNES GREY. itself, that strengthens it against external violence. Every blow” that shakes it will serve to harden it against a future stroke; as constant labour thickens the skin of the hand, and strengthens its muscles instead of wasting them away: so that a day of arduous toil that might excoriate a lady’s palm, would make no sensible impression on that of a hardy ploughman, “‘T speak from experience—partly my own. ‘There wasa time when I thought as you do—at least, I was fully persuaded that home and its affections were the only things that made life toler- able: that, if deprived of these, existence would becomea burden hard to be endured ; but now I have no home—unless you would dignify my two hired rooms at Horton by such a name ;—and not twelve months ago, I lost the last and dearest of my early friends ; and yet, not only I live, but I am not wholly destitute of hope and comfort, even for this life: though I must acknow- ledge that I can seldom enter even an humble cottage at the close of day, and see its inhabitants peaceably gathered around their cheerful hearth, without a feeling almost of envy at their domestic enjoyment.”

‘You don’t know what happiness lies before you yet,” said I: “‘you are now only in the commencement of your journey.” ““The best of happiness,” replied he, ‘‘is mine already—the power and the will to be useful.” We now approached a style communicating with a footpath that conducted to a farm-house, where, I suppose, Mr. Weston purposed to make himself ‘‘ useful ;’’ for he presently took leave of me, crossed the style, and traversed the path with his usual firm, elastic tread, leaving me to ponder his words as I continued my course alone. IJhad heard before that he had lost his mother not many months before he came. She then was the last and dearest of his early friends ; and he had xo home. I pitied him from my heart: Ialmost wept forsympathy.

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And this,I thought, accounted for the shade of premature thoughtfulness that so fre- quently clouded his brow, and obtained for him the reputation of a morose and sullen disposition with the charitable Miss Murray and all her kin. ‘‘ But,” thought I, ‘‘ he is not so miser- able as I should be under such a deprivation: he leads an active life ; and a wide field for useful exertion lies before him, He can make friends ; and he can make a home too, if he pleases ; and, doubtless, he will please some time. God grant the partner of that home may be worthy of his choice, and make it a happy

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AGNES GREY. 389 one—such a home as he deserves to have! And how delightful it would be to”’ But no matter what I thought. I began this book with the intention of concealing nothing ; that those who liked might have the benefit of perusing a fellow: creature’s heart : but we have some thoughts that all the angels in heaven are welcome to behold, but not our brother-men—not even the best and kindest amongst them. By this time the Greens had taken themselves to their own abode, and the Murrays had turned down the private road, whither I hastened to follow them. I found the two girls warm in an animated discussion on the respective merits of the two young officers ; but on seeing me Rosalie broke off in the middle of a sentence to exclaim, with malicious glee— ““Oh, ho, Miss Grey! you’re come at last, are you? No wonder you lingered so long behind ; and no wonder you always stand up so vigorously for Mr. Weston when I abuse him, Ah, ha!

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I see it all now!” “Now, come, Miss Murray, don’t be foolish,” said I, attempt- ing a good-natured laugh ; ‘‘ you know such nonsense can make no impression on me.” But she still went on talking such intolerable stuff—her sister helping her with appropriate fiction coined for the occasion—that I thought it necessary to say something in my own justification. “What folly all this is!” I exclaimed. ‘‘ If Mr. Weston’s road happened to be the same as mine for a few yards, and if he chose to exchange a word or two in passing, what is there so remarkable in that? I assure you, I never spoke to him before : except once.” ‘‘ Where? where? and when?” cried they eagerly. ‘‘In Nancy’s cottage.” “Ah, ha! you’ve met him there, have you?” exclaimed Rosalie, with exultant laughter. ‘‘Ah! now, Matilda, I’ve found out why she’s so fond of going to Nancy Brown’s! she goes there to flirt with Mr. Weston.”

“Really, that is not worth contradicting !—I only saw him there once, I tell you—and how could I know he was coming?” Irritated as I was at their foolish mirth and vexatious imputa- tions, the uneasiness did not continue long ; when they had had their laugh out, they returned again to the captain and lieutenant ; and, while they disputed and commented upon them, my indigna- tion rapidly cooled; the cause of it was quickly forgotten, and I

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(390 AGNES GREY. turned my thoughts into a pleasanter channel. Thus we pro- ceeded up the park, and entered the hall; and as I ascended the stairs to my own chamber, I had but one thought within me; my heart was filled to overflowing with one single earnest wish. Having entered the room, and shut the door, I fell upon my knees and offered up a fervent but not impetuous prayer: ‘‘ Thy will be done,” I strove to say throughout ; but, ‘‘ Father, all things are possible with Thee, and may it be Thy will,” was sure to follow. That wish—that prayer—both men and women would havescorned me for—* But Father, Tow wilt ot despise!” I said, and felt - that it was true.

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It seemed to me that another’s welfare was at least as ardently implored for as my own; nay, even ¢hat was the principal object of my heart’s desire, I might have been deceiving myself; but that idea gave me confidence to ask, and power to hope I did not ask in vain, As for the primroses, I kept two of them in a glass in my room until they were com- pletely withered, and the housemaid threw them out; and the petals of the other I pressed between the leaves of my Bible—I have them still, and mean to keep them always. CHAPTER XIV, THE RECTOR. THE following day was as fine as the preceding one.

Soon after breakfast Miss Matilda, having galloped and blundered through a few unprofitable lessons, and vengeably thumped the piano for an hour, in a terrible humour with both me and it, because her mamma would not give her a holiday, had betaken herself to her favourite places of resort, the yards, the stables, and the dog- kennels ; and Miss Murray was gone forth to enjoy a quiet ramble with a new fashionable novel for her companion, leaving me in the schoolroom hard at work upon a water-colour drawing which I had promised to do for her, and which she insisted upon my finishing that day, At my feet lay a little rough terrier. It was the property of Miss Matilda; but she hated the animal, and intended to sell it, alleging that it was quite spoiled, It was really an excellent

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AGNES GREY. 391 dog of its kind ; but she affirmed it was fit for nothing, and had not even the sense to know its own mistress. The fact was, she had purchased it when but a small puppy, insisting at first that no one should touch it but herself; but, soon becoming tired of so helpless and troublesome a nursling, she had gladly yielded to my entreaties to be allowed to take charge of it ; and I, by carefully nursing the little creature from infancy to adolescence, of course, had obtained its affections: a reward I should have greatly valued, and looked upon as far outweighing all the trouble I had had with it, had not poor Snap’s grateful feelings exposed him to many a harsh word and many a spiteful kick and pinch from his owner, and were he not now in danger of being ‘‘ put away,’ in consequence, or transferred to some rough, stony-hearted master, But howcouldIhelp it?

I could not make the dog hate me, by cruel treatment ; and she would not propitiate him by kindness, , However, while I thus sat, working away with my pencil, Mrs, Murray came, half-sailing, half-bustling, into the room. “‘Miss Grey,” she began,—‘‘ dear! how can you sit at your drawing such a day as this?” (She thought I was doing it for my own pleasure.) ‘‘I wonder you don’t put on your bonnet and go out with the young ladies.” ‘7 think, ma’am, Miss Murray is reading ; and Miss Matilda is amusing herself with her dogs.” “‘ Tf you would try to amuse Miss Matilda yourself a little more, I think she would not be drzvenx to seek amusement in the com- panionship of dogs and horses, and grooms, so much as she is ; and if you would be a little more cheerful and conversable with Miss Murray, she would not so often go wandering in the fields with a book in her hand.

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However, I don’t want to vex you,” added she, seeing, I suppose, that my cheeks burned and my hand trembled with some unamiable emotion. ‘‘ Do, pray, try not to be so touchy,—there’s no speaking to you else. And tell me if you know where Rosalie is gone: and why she likes to be so much alone?” ‘«She says she likes to be alone when she has a new book to read.” ‘But why can’t. she read it in the park or the garden ?>—why should she go into the fields and lanes? And how is it that that Mr. Hatfield so often finds her out? She told me last week he'd walked his horse by her side.all up Moss Lane; and now I’m

• 392 AGNES GREY. sure it was he I saw from my dressing-room window, walking so briskly past the park-gates, and on towards the field where she so frequently goes. I wish you would go and see if she is there ; and just gently remind her that it is not proper fora young lady of her rank and prospects to be wandering about by herself in that manner, exposed to the attentions of any one that presumes to address her; like some poor neglected girl that has no park to walk in, and no friends to take care of her: and tell her that her papa would be extremely angry if he knew of her treating Mr.

Hatfield in the familiar manner that I fear she does ; and —oh! if you—if azy governess had but half a mother’s watch- fulness—half a mother’s anxious care, I should be saved this trouble ; and you would see at once the necessity of keeping your eye upon her, and making your company agreeable to—— Well, go—go; there’s no time to be lost,” cried she, seeing that I had put away my drawing materials, and was waiting in the doorway for the conclusion of her address. According to her prognostications, I found Miss Murray in her favourite field just without the park ; and, unfortunately, not alone; for the tall, stately figure of Mr, Hatfield was slowly sauntering by her side. Here was a poser for me. It was my duty to interrupt the téte-a-téte : but how was it to be done?

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Mr, Hatfield could not be driven away by so insignificant a person as 1; and to go and place myself on the other side of Miss Murray, and intrude my unwelcome presence upon her without noticing her companion, was a piece of rudeness I could not be guilty of: neither had I the courage to cry aloud from the top of the field that she was wanted elsewhere. So I took the intermediate course of walking slowly, but steadily towards them; resolving, if my approach failed to scare away the beau, to pass by and tell Miss Murray her mamma wanted her.

She certainly looked very charming as she strolled, lingering along under the budding horse-chestnut trees that stretched their long arms over the park-palings, with her closed book in one hand, and in the other a graceful sprig of myrtle, which served her as a very pretty plaything ; her bright ringlets escaping pro- fusely from her little bonnet, and gently stirred by the breeze, her fair cheek flushed with gratified vanity, her smiling blue eyes, now slyly glancing towards her admirer, now gazing downward at her myrtle sprig. But Snap, running before me,

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AGNES GREY, 393 interrupted her in the midst of some half-pert, half-playful re- partee, by catching hold of her dress and vehemently tugging thereat; till Mr. Hatfield, with his cane, administered a re- sounding thwack upon the animal’s skull, and sent it yelping back to me, with a clamorous outcry that afforded the reverend gentleman great amusement: but seeing me so near, he thought, I suppose, he might as well be taking his departure; and as I stooped to caress the dog, with ostentatious pity to show my disapproval of his severity, I heard him say— ‘«When shall I see you again, Miss Murray?” ** At church, I suppose,” replied she, ‘‘ unless your business chances to bring you here again, at the precise moment when I happen to be walking by.” “‘T could always manage to-have business here, if I knew precisely when and where to find you.”

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“But if I would, I could not inform you, for I am so im- methodical, I never can tell to-day what I shall do to-morrow.” ‘“Then give me that, meantime, to comfort me,’’ said he, half jestingly and half in earnest, extending his hand for the sprig of myrtle. ‘““No, indeed, I shan’t.” “Do! pray do! I shall be the most miserable of men if you don’t. You cannot be so cruel as to deny me a favour so easily granted, and yet so highly prized !’’ pleaded he, as ardently as if his life depended on it. By this time, I stood within a very few yards of them, im- patiently waiting his departure. ‘« There then! take it and go,” said Rosalie. He joyfuily received the gift, murmured something that made her blush and toss her head, but with a little laugh that showed her displeasure was entirely affected ; and then with a courteous salutation withdrew. ‘Did you ever see such a man, Miss Grey?” said she, turning tome; ‘I’m so glad you came!

I thought I never should get rid of him; and I was so terribly afraid of papa seeing him.” “ Has he been with you long?” “No, not long, but he’s so extremely impertinent : and he’s always hanging about, pretending his business or his clerical duties require his attendance in these parts, and really watching for poor me, and pouncing upon me wherever he sees me.” ‘‘Well, your mamma thinks you ought not to go beyond the N2

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• 394 AGNES GREY, park or garden without some discreet, matronly person like me to accompany you, and keep off all intruders. Shedescried Mr. Hatfield hurrying past the park-gates, and forthwith despatched me with instructions to seek you up and to take care of you, and likewise to warn ’’—— “‘Oh, mamma’s so tiresome! As if I couldn’t take care of myself. She bothered me before about Mr. Hatfield; and I told her she might trust me: I never should forget my rank and station for the most delightful man that ever breathed. I wish he would go down on his knees to-morrow, and implore me to be his wife, that I might just show her how mistaken she is in supposing that I could ever—— Oh, it provokes meso! To think that I could be such a fool as to fallin Zove/ It is quite beneath the dignity of a woman to do such a thing. Love! I detest the word ! as applied to one of our sex, I think it a perfect insult.

A preference I might acknowledge; but never for one like poor Mr, Hatfield, who has not seven hundred a year to bless himself with. I like to talk to him, because he’s so clever and amusing—I wish Sir Thomas Ashby were half as nice; besides, I must have somebody to flirt with, and no one else has the sense to come here; and when we go out, mamma won't let me flirt with anybody but Sir Thomas—if he’s there ; and if he’s not there, I’m bound hand and foot, for fear somebody should go and make up some exaggerated story, and put it into his head that I’m engaged, or likely to be engaged, to somebody else ; or, what is more probable, for fear his nasty old mother should see or hear of my ongoings, and conclude that I’m not a fit wife for her excellent son: as if the said son were not the greatest scamp in Christendom; and as if any woman of common decency were not a world too good for him.”

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“Ts it really so, Miss Murray ? and does your mamma know it, and yet wish you to marry him?” ‘*To be sure she does! She knows more against him than I do, I believe: she keeps it from me lest I should be dis- couraged; not knowing how little I care about such things. For it’s no great matter, really: he'll be all right when he’s married, as mamma says; and reformed rakes make the best husbands, everybody knows. I only wish he were not so ugly— that’s all J think about: but then there’s no choice here in the ‘country; and papa w¢// mot Jet us go to London ”—— ‘But I should think Mr. Hatfield would be far better.”

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AGNES GREY. 395 **And so he would, if he were lord of Ashby Park—there’s not a doubt of it: but the fact is, I must have Ashby Park, whoever shares it with me.” “But Mr. Hatfield thinks you like him all this time; you ‘don’t consider how bitterly he will be disappointed when he finds himself mistaken,” i “‘ Vo, indeed! It will be a proper punishment for his pre- sumption—for ever daring to think I could like him. I should enjoy nothing so much as lifting the veil from his eyes.” ‘The sooner you do it the better then.” ‘No; I tell you, I like to amuse myself with him. Besides, he doesn’t really think I like him. I take good care of that : you don’t know how cleverly I manage. He may presume to think he can zzduce me to like him; for which I shall punisb him as he deserves.” “‘Well, mind you don’t give too much reason for such pre- sumption—that'’s all,” replied I.

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But all my exhortations were in vain: they only made her somewhat more solicitous to disguise her wishes and her thoughts from me. She talked no more to me about the Rector; but I could see that her mind, if not her heart, was fixed upon him still, and that she was intent upon obtaining another interview : for though, in compliance with her mother’s request, I was now constituted the companion of her rambles for a time, she still persisted in wandering in the fields and lanes that lay in the nearest proximity to the road; and, whether she talked to me or read the book she carried in her hand, she kept continually pausing to look round her, or gaze up the road to see if any one was coming; and if a horseman trotted by, I could tell by her unqualified abuse of the poor equestrian, whoever he might be, that she hated him Jecawse he was not Mr. Hatfield.

“Surely,” thought I, ‘‘she is not so indifferent to him as she believes herself to be, or would have others to believe her ; and her mother’s anxiety is not so wholly causeless as she affirms.” Three days passed away, and he did not make his appearance, On the afternoon of the fourth, as we were walking beside the park palings in the memorable field, each furnished with a book (for I always took care to provide myself with something to be doing when she did not require me to talk), she suddenly inter- tupted my studies by exclaiming— ‘‘Oh, Miss Grey ! do be so kind as.to go and see Mark Wood,

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• 396 AGNES GREY. -and take his wife half-a-crown from me—I should have given or sent jt a week ago, but quite forgot. There!” said she, throwing me her purse, and speaking very fast—‘‘ Never mind getting it out now, but take the purse and give them what you like ; I would go with you, but I want to finish this volume. I'll come and meet you when I’ve done it. Be quick, will you—and—oh, wait ; hadn’t you better read to him a bit? Run to the house and get some sort of a good book. Anything will do.” I did as I was desired; but, suspecting something from her hurried manner and the suddenness of the request, I just glanced back before I quitted the field, and there was Mr. Hatfield about to enter at the gate below. By sending me to the house for a book, she had just prevented my meeting him on the road. ‘Never mind!” thought IJ, ‘‘ there’ll be no great harm done.

Poor Mark will be glad of the half-crown, and perhaps of the good book too ; and if the Rector does steal Miss Rosalie’s heart, it will only humble her pride a little ; and if they do get married at last, it will only save her from a worse fate ; and she will be quite a good enough partner for him, and he for her,” Mark Wood was the consumptive labourer whom I mentioned before. He was now rapidly wearing away. Miss Murray, by her liberality, obtained literally the blessing of him that was ready to perish ; for though the half-crown could be of very little service to him, he was glad of it for the sake of his wife and children, so soon to be widowed and fatherless. After I had sat a few minutes, and read a little for the comfort and edification of him- self and his afflicted wife, I left them ; but I had not proceeded fifty yards before I encountered Mr. Weston, apparently on his way to the same abode.

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He greeted me in his usual quiet, un- affected way, stopped to inquire about the condition of the sick man and his family, and with a sort of unconscious, brotherly disregard to ceremony, took from my hand the book out of which I had been reading, turned over its pages, made a few brief but very sensible remarks, and restored it ; then told me about some poor sufferer he had just been visiting, talked a little about Nancy Brown, made a few observations upon my little rough friend the terrier, that was frisking at his feet, and finally upon the beauty of the weather, and departed. I have omitted to give a detail of his words, from a notion that they would not interest the reader as they did me, and not be- cause I have forgotten them. No; I remember them well; for

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AGNES GREY. 397 ‘T thought them over and over again in the course of that day and many succeeding ones, I know not how often ; and recalled every intonation of his deep, clear voice, every flash of his quick, brown ‘eye, and every gleam of his pleasant, but too transient smile. Such a confession will look very absurd, I fear; but no matter: f£ have written it: and they that read it will not know the writer. While I was walking along, happy within, and pleased with all around, Miss Murray came hastening to meet me; her buoyant step, flushed cheek, and radiant smiles showing that she, too, was happy, in her own way. Running up to me, she put her arm through mine, and without waiting to recover breath, began— “Now, Miss Grey, think yourself highly honoured, for I’m come to tell you my news before I’ve ,breathed a word of it to any one else.” ““Well, what is it?” ‘ “‘Oh, such news! In the first place, you must know that Mr.

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Hatfield came upon me just after you were gone, - I was in such a way for fear papa or mamma should see him; but you know I couldn’t call you back again, and so I—oh, dear! I can’t tell you all about it now, for there’s Matilda, I see, in the park, and I must go and open my budget to her. But, however, Hatfield was most uncommonly audacious, unspeakably complimentary, and unprecedentedly tender—tried to be so, at least—he didn’t succeed very well in zhaz, because it’s not his vein. T’ll tell you all he said another time.” “« But what did you say—I’m more interested in that ?” “*T'll tell you that, too, at some future period. I happened to be in a very good humour just then ; but, though I was com- plaisant and gracious enough, I took care not to compromise myself in any possible way.

But, however, the conceited wretch chose to interpret my amiability of temper his own way, and at length presumed upon my indulgence so far—what do you think ? —he actually—made me an offer!” “And you ”’—— “‘T proudly drew myself up, and with the greatest coolness ex- pressed my astonishment at such an occurrence, and hoped he had seen nothing in my conduct to justify his expectations. Youshould have scez how his countenance fell! He went perfectly white in the face. J assured him that I esteemed him and all that, but

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• 398 AGNES GREY. could not possibly accede to his proposals ; and if I did, Papa and mamma could never be brought to give their consent.’ \ “«« But if they could,’ said he, ‘ “youll yours be wanting ?’ “««Certainly, Mr. Hatfield,’ I replied, with a cool decision which quelled all hope at once. Oh, if you had seen how dread- fully mortified he was—how crushed to the earth by his dis- appointment ! really, I almost pitied him myself. ‘One more desperate attempt, however, he made, After a silence of considerable duration, during which he struggled to be calm, and I to be grave—for I felt a strong propensity to laugh— which would have ruined all—he said, with the ghost of a smile— ««« But tell me plainly, Miss Murray, if I had the wealth of Sir Hugh Meltham, or the prospects of his eldest son, would you still refuse me? answer me truly, upon your honour.’ ‘«* Certainly,’ said I. ‘That would make no difference whatever.’

“It was a great lie, but he looked so confident in his own attractions still, that I determined not to leave him one stone upon another. He looked me full in the face; but I kept my countenance so well that he could not imagine I was saying any- thing more than the actual truth. ‘*« Then it’s all over, I suppose,’ he said, looking as if he could have died on the spot with vexation and the intensity of his despair. But he was angry as wellas disappointed. There was he, suffer- ing so unspeakably, and there was I, the pitiless cause of it all, so utterly impenetrable to all the artillery of his looks and words, so calmly cold and proud, he could not but feel some resentment ; and with singular bitterness he began— “«T certainly did not expect this, Miss Murray. I might say something about your past conduct, and the hopes you have ied me to foster, but I forbear, on condition ’—— ‘““« No conditions, Mr.

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Hatfield!’ said I, now truly indignant at his insolence. “«« Then let me beg it as a favour,’ he replied, lowering his voice at once, and taking a humbler tone: ‘let me entreat that you will not mention this affair to any one whatever, If you will keep silence about it, there need be no unpleasantness on either side —nothing, I mean, beyond what is quite unavoidable : for my own feelings I will endeavour to keep to myself, if I cannot anni- hilate them—I will try to forgive, if I cannot forget the cause of my sufferings, I will not suppose, Miss Murray, that you know

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AGNES GREY. - 399 how deeply you have injured me. I would not have-you aware of it ; but if, in addition to the injury you have already done me —pardon me, but whether innocently or not, you Aave done it— and if you add to it by giving publicity to this unfortunate affair, or naming it @¢ a//, you will find that I too can speak, and though you scorned my love, you will hardly scorn my’—— “He stopped, but he bit his bloodless lip, and looked so terribly fierce that I was quite frightened. However, my pride upheld me still, and I answered disdainfully— «T do not know what motive you suppose I could have for naming it to any one, Mr.

Hatfield; but if I were disposed to do so, you would not deter me by threats ; and it is scarcely the part of a gentleman to attempt it.’ **«Pardon me, Miss Murray,’ said he, ‘I have loved you so intensely—I do still adore you so deeply, that I would not willingly offend you; but though I never have loved, and never can love any woman as I have loved you, it is equally certain that I never was so ill-treated by any. On the contrary, I have always found your sex the kindest and most tender and obliging of God's creation, till now.’ (Think of the conceited fellow saying that!) ‘And the novelty and harshness of the lesson you have taught me to-day, and the bitterness of being disappointed in the only quarter on which the happiness of my life depended, must excuse any appearance of asperity.

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If my presence is dis- agreeable to you, Miss Murray,’ he said (for I was looking about me to show how little I cared for him, so he thought I was tired of him, I suppose),—‘if my presence is disagreeable to you, Miss Murray, you have only to promise me the favour I named, and I will relieve you at once. There are many ladies—some even in this parish—who would be delighted to accept what you have so scornfully trampled under your feet. They would be naturally inclined to hate one whose surpassing loveliness has so completely estranged my heart from them and blinded me to their attractions ; and a single hint of the truth from me to one of these, would be sufficient to raise such a talk against you as would seriously injure your prospects, and diminish your chance of success with any other gentleman you or your mamma might design to entangle,’ ‘«sWhat do yott mean, sir?’ said I, ready to stamp with passion.

«*T mean that this affair from beginning to end appears fo me

• 400 AGNES GREY. like a case of arrant flirtation, to say the least of it—such a case as you would find it rather inconvenient to have blazoned through the world : especially with the additions and exaggerations of your female rivals, who would be too glad to publish the matter, if I only gave them a handle to it. But I promise you, on the faith of a gentleman, that no word or syllable that could tend to your prejudice shall ever escape my lips, provided you will’—— ‘««Well, well, I won’t mention it,’ said I. ‘You may rely upon my silence, if that can afford you any consolation,’ “« You promise it?” ‘« Ves,’ I answered, for I wanted to get rid of him now.

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‘«« Farewell, then!’ said he, in a most doleful heart-sick tone ; and with a look where pride vainly struggled against despair, he turned and went away: longing, no doubt, to get home, that he might shut himself up in his study and cry—if he doesn’t burst into tears before he gets there.” “‘But you have broken your promise already,’ said J, truly horrified at her perfidy. ‘©Oh! it’s only to you; I know you won't repeat it.” ““Certainly, I shall not: but you say you are gcing to tell your sister ; and she will tell your brothers when they come home, and Brown immediately, if you do not tell her yourself; and Brown will blazon it, or be the means of blazoning it throughout the country.” ‘*No, indeed, she won’t. We shall not tell her at all, unless it be under the promise of the strictest secrecy.” ‘But how can you expect her to keep her promises better than her more enlightened mistress ?’’

‘Well, well, she shan’t hear it then,” said Miss Murray, some- what snappishly. ‘“But you will tell your mamma, of course,” pursued I; ‘‘and she will tell your papa.” ‘“‘Of course, I shall tell mamma, that is the very thing that pleases me so much. I shall now be able to convince her how mistaken she was in her fears about me.” ‘Oh, ¢ha?’s it, is it? 1 was wondering what it was that delighted you so much,” “Yes ; and another thing is, that I’ve humbled Mr. Hatfield so charmingly ; and another—why, you must allow me -some share of female vanity: I don’t pretend to be without that most essential attribute of our sex—and if you had seen poor Hatfield’s

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AGNES GREY. 401, intense eagerness in making his ardent declaration, -and his flattering proposal, and his agony of mind, that no effort of pride could conceal, on being refused, you would have allowed I had some cause to be gratified.” “The greater his agony, J should think, the less your cause for gratification.” ‘Oh, nonsense !” cried the young lady, shaking herself with vexation. ‘‘ You either can’t understand me or you won't. If I had not confidence in your magnanimity, I should think you envied me. But you will, perhaps, comprehend this cause of pleasure—which is as great as any—namely, that lam delighted with myself for my prudence, my self-command, my heartless- ness, if you please. I was not a bit taken by surprise, nota bit confused, or awkward, or foolish; I just acted and spoke as I ought to have done, and was completely my own mistress throughout.

And here was a man, decidedly good-looking— Jane and Susan Green call him bewitchingly handsome—I suppose they’re two of the ladies he pretends would be so glad to have him; but, however, he was certainly a very clever, witty, agreeable companion—not what yow call clever, but just enough to make him entertaining ; and a man one needn't be ashamed of anywhere, and would not soon grow tired of ; and to confess the truth, I rather liked him—better even, of late, than Harry Meltham—and he evidently idolised me; and yet, though he came upon mie all alone and unprepared, I had the wisdom and the pride, and the strength to refuse him—and so scornfully and coolly as I did: I have good reason to be proud of that!”

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« And are you equally proud of having told him that his having the wealth of Sir Hugh Meltham would make no difference to you when that was not the case ; and of having promised to tell no one of his misadventure, apparently without the slightest intention of keeping your promise?” *‘Of course! what else could I do? You would not have had me—but I see, Miss Grey, you're not in a good temper. Here's Matilda ; I’ll see what she and mamma have to say about it.” She left me, offended at my want of sympathy, and thinking, no doubt, that I envied her. I did not—at least, I firmly believed I did not. I was sorry for her; I was amazed, disgusted at her heartless vanity ; I wondered why so much beauty should be given to those who made so bad a use of it, and denied to some who would make it a benefit to both themselves and others,

• 402 AGNES GREY. But, God knows best, Iconcluded. There are, Isuppose, some men as vain, as selfish, and as heartless as she is, and, perhaps, such women may be useful to punish them, pevaew ame CHAPTER XV. THE WALK. “© DEAR! I wish Hatfield had not been so precipitate !"” said Rosalie next day at four P.M., as, with a portentous yawn, she laid down her worsted-work and looked listlessly towards the window. ‘There's no inducement to go out now; and nothing to look forward to. The days will be so long and dull when there are no parties to enliven them; and there are none this week, or next either, that I know of,” ‘« Pity you were so cross to him,” observed Matilda, to whom this lamentation was addressed. ‘‘ He'll never come again: and I suspect you liked him after all.. I hoped you would have taken him for your beau, and left dear Harry to me.”

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“‘Humph! my beau must be an Adonis indeed, Matilda, the admired of all beholders, if J am to be contented with him alone. I'm sorry to lose Hatfield, I confess; but the first decent man, or number of men, that come to supply his place, will be more than welcome. It’s Sunday to-morrow—I do wonder how he'll look, and whether he'll be able to go through the service. Most likely he'll pretend he’s got a cold and make Mr. Weston do it all.” “Not he!” exclaimed Matilda, somewhat contemptuously. ‘Fool as he is, he’s not so soft as that comes to.” Her sister was slightly offended; but the event proved Matilda was right: the disappointed lover performed his pastoral duties as usual. Rosalie, indeed, affirmed he looked very pale and de- jected; he might be a little paler ; but the difference, if any, was scarcely perceptible.

As for his dejection, I certainly did not hear his laugh ringing from the vestry as usual, nor his voice loud in hilarious discourse ; though I did hear it uplifted in rating the sexton in a manner that made the congregation stare; and, in his transits to and from the pulpit and the communion-table there was more of solemn pomp, and less of that irreverent, self-

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AGNES GREY. 403. confident, or rather self-delighted imperiousness with which he usually swept along—that air that seemed to say, ‘‘ You all reverence and adore me, I know; but if any one does not, I defy him to the teeth!” But the most remarkable change was, that he never once suffered his eyes to wander in the direction of Mr. Murray’s pew, and did not leave the chutch till we were gone, Mr. Hatfield had doubtless received a very severe blow; but his pride impelled him to use every effort to conceal the effects of it. He had been disappointed in his certain hope of obtaining not only a beautiful, and, to him, highly attractive wife, but one whose rank and fortune might give brilliance to far inferior charms : he was likewise, no doubt, intensely mortified by his repulse, and deeply offended at the conduct of Miss Murray throughout.

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It would have given him,no little consolation to: have known how disappointed she was to find him apparently so little moved, and to see that he was able to refrain from casting a single glance at her throughout both services ; though, she declared, it showed he was thinking of her all the time, or his eyes would have fallen upon her, if it were only by chance : but if they had so chanced to fall, she would have affirmed it was because they could not resist the attraction, It might have pleased him too, in some degree, to have seen how dull and dissatisfied she was throughout that week (the greater part of it, at least), for lack of her usual source of excitement ; and how often she regretted having ‘‘ used him up so soon,” like a child that, having devoured its plum-cake too hastily, sits sucking its. fingers, and vainly lamenting its greediness, At length I was called upon, one fine morning, to accompany her in a walk to the village.

Ostensibly she went to get some shades of Berlin wool, at a tolerably respectable shop that was chiefly supported by the ladies of the vicinity: really—I trust there is no breach of charity in supposing that she went with the idea of meeting either with the Rector himself, or some other admirer by the way ; for as we went along, she kept wondering ‘‘what Hatfield would do or say, if we met him,” &c. &c. ; as we passed Mr. Green’s park-gates, she ‘‘ wondered whether he was at home—great stupid blockhead ;” as Lady Meltham’s carriage passed us, she ‘‘ wondered what Mr. Harry was doing this fine day ;”" and then began to abuse his elder brother for being ‘such a fool as to get married and go and live in London.”

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• 404 AGNES GREY. “Why,” said I, ‘‘I thought you wanted to live in London yourself.” ““Yes, because it’s so dull here: but then he makes it still duller by taking himself off; and if he were not married I might have him instead of that odious Sir Thomas.” Then, observing the prints of a horse’s feet on the somewhat miry road, she ‘‘ wondered whether it was a gentleman's horse,” and finally concluded it was, for the impressions were too small to have been made by a “‘ great, clumsy cart-horse ;"" and then she ‘‘ wondered who the rider could be,” and whether we should meet him coming back, for she was sure he had only passed that morning ; and lastly, when we entered the village and saw only a few of its humble inhabitants moving about, she ‘‘ wondered why the stupid people couldn’t keep in their houses; she was sure she didn’t want to see their ugly faces, and dirty, vulgar clothes—it wasn’t for that she came to Horton !”’

Amid all this, I confess, I wondered, too, in secret, whether we should meet, or catch a glimpse of somebody else; and as we passed his lodgings, I even went so far as to wonder whether he was at the window. On entering the shop, Miss Murray de- sired me to stand in the doorway while she transacted her busi- ness, and tell her if any one passed, But alas! there was no one visible besides the villagers, except Jane and Susan Green coming down the single street, apparently returning from a walk. «Stupid things!” muttered she, as she.came out after having concluded her bargain. ‘‘ Why couldn't they have their dolt of a brother with them? even /e would be better than nothing.” She greeted them, however, with a cheerful smile, and pro- testations of pleasure at the happy meeting equal to their own.

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They placed themselves one on each side of her, and all three walked away chatting and laughing as young ladies do when they get together, if they be but on tolerably intimate terms. But I, feeling myself to be one too many, left them to their merriment and lagged behind, as usual on such occasions: I had no relish for walking beside Miss Green or Miss Susan like one deaf and dumb, who could neither speak nor be spoken to. But this time I was not long alone. It struck me, at first, as very odd, that just as I was thinking about Mr. Weston he should come up and accost me; but afterwards, on due reflec- tion, I thought there was nothing odd about it, unless it were the fact of his speaking to me; for on such a morning and so

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AGNES GREY. 405 near his own abode, it was natural enough that he should be about ; and as for my thinking of him, I had been doing that, with little intermission, ever since we set out on our journey ; so there was nothing remarkable in that. “Yon are alone again, Miss Grey !”’ said he, si Wes:7* ‘« What kind of people are those ladies—the Misses Green?” “'T really don’t know.” ‘That's strange—when you live so near and see them sooften !”” ‘‘Well, I suppose they are lively, good-tempered girls ; but I imagine you must know them better than I do, yourself, for I neyer exchanged a word with either of them.” “Indeed! They don’t strike me as being particularly re- served,” “Very likely they are not so to people of their own class ; but they consider themselves as moving in quite a different sphere from me!”

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He made no reply to this ; but after a short pause, he said— “‘T suppose it’s these things, Miss Grey, that make you think you could not live without a home?” “Not exactly. The fact is I am too socially disposed to be able to live contentedly without a friend; and as the only friends I have, or am likely to have, are at home, if it—or rather, if they were gone—I will not say I could not live—but I would rather not live in such a desolate world.” “But why do you say the only friends you are likely to have? Are you so unsociable that you cannot make friends?” ““No, but I never made one yet ; and in my present position there is no possibility of doing so, or even of forming a common acquaintance. The fault may be partly in myself, but I hope not altogether.”

‘« The fault is partly in society, and partly, I should think, in your immediate neighbours: and partly, too, in yourself; for many ladies, in your position, would make themselves be noticed and accounted of. But your pupils should be companions for you in some degree ; they cannot be many years younger than yourself.” “Oh, yes, they are good company sometimes ; but I cannot call them friends, nor would they think of bestowing such a name on me—they have other companions better suited to their tastes,”

• 406 AGNES GREY. ‘ Perhaps you are too wise for them. How do you amuse yourself when alone—do you read much?” “ Reading is my favourite occupation, when I have leisure for it and books to read.” From speaking of books in general, he passed to different books in particular, and proceeded by rapid transitions from topic to topic, till several matters, both of taste and opinion, had been discussed considerably within the space of half-an-hour, but without the embellishment of many observations from him- self ; he being evidently less bent upon communicating his own thoughts and predilections, than on discovering mine.

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He had not the tact, or the art, to effect such a purpose by skilfully drawing out my sentiments or ideas through the real or apparent statement of his own, or leading the conversation by impercep- tible gradations to such topics as he wished to advert to: but such gentle abruptness, and such single-minded straightforward- ness could not possibly offend me. “And why should he interest himself at all in my moral and intellectual capacities : what is it to him what I think or feel?” I asked myself. And my heart throbbed in answer to the question. But Jane and Susan Green soon reached their home. As they stood parleying at the park-gates, attempting to persuade Miss Murray to come in, I wished Mr. Weston would go, that she might not see him with me when she turned round; but, un- fortunately, his business, which was to pay one more visit to poor Mark Wood, led him to pursue the same path as we did, till nearly the close of our journey.

When, however, he saw that Rosalie had taken leave of her friends and I was about to join her, he would have left me and passed on at a quicker pace ; but, as he civilly lifted his hat in passing her, to my surprise, instead of returning the salute with a stiff, ungracious bow, she accosted him with one of her sweetest smiles, and, walking by his side, began to talk to him with all imaginable cheerfulness and affability ; and so we proceeded all three together. After a short pause in the conversation, Mr. Weston made some remark addressed particularly to me, as referring to some- thing we had been talking of before ; but, before I could answer, Miss Murray replied to the observation and enlarged upon it: he rejoined ; and, from thence to the close of the interview, she engrossed him entirely to herself. It might be partly owing to

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AGNES GREY. . 407 my own stupidity, my want of tact and assurance: but J felt my- self wronged : I trembled with apprehension ; and I listened with envy to her easy, rapid flow of utterance, and saw with anxiety the bright smile with which she looked into his face from time to time: for she was walking a little in advance, for the purpose (as I judged) of being seen as wellas heard. Ifher conversation was light and trivial, it was amusing, and she was never at a loss for something to say, or for suitable words to express it in. There was nothing pert or flippant in her manner now, as when she walked with Mr. Hatfield; there was only a gentle, playful kind of vivacity, which I thought must be peculiarly pleasing to aman of Mr. Weston’s disposition and temperament, When he was gone she began to laugh, and muttered to her- self—‘‘I thought I could do it!” “Do what?” I asked. “Fix that man.” ““What in the world do you mean?”

“I mean that he will go home and dream of me. I have shot him through the heart !” «How do you know?” “By many infallible proofs: more especially the look he gave me when he went away. ‘It was not an impudent look—I exonerate him from that—it was a look of reverential, tender adoration. Ha, ha! he’s not quite such a stupid blockhead as I thought him!” I made no answer, for my heart was in my throat, or some- thing like it, and I could not trust myself to speak. ‘‘O God, avert it!” I cried internally—“ for his sake, not for mine!” Miss Murray made several trivial observations as we passed up the park, to which (in spite of my reluctance to let one glimpse of my feelings appear) I could only answer by mono- syllables.

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Whether she intended to torment me, or merely to amuse herself, I could not tell—and did not much care; but I thought of the poor man and his one lamb, and the rich man with his thousand flocks; and I dreaded I knew not what for Mr, Weston, independently of my own blighted hopes. Right glad was I to get into the house, and find myself alone once more in my own room. My first impulse was to sink into the chair beside the bed ; and laying my head on the pillow, to seek relief in a passionate burst of tears: there was an im- perative craving for such an indulgence; but alas! I must

• 408 AGNES GREY. restrain and swallow back my feelings still: there was the bell —the odious bell for the schoolroom dinner; and I must go down with a calm face, and smile, and laugh, and talk nonsense —yes, and eat, too, if possible, as if all was right, and I was just returned from a pleasant walk. CHAPTER XVI. THE SUBSTITUTION, Next Sunday was one of the gloomiest of April days—a day of thick, dark clouds, and heavy showers. None of the Murrays were disposed to attend church in the afternoon, excepting Rosalie : she was bent upon going as usual ; so she ordered the carriage, and I went with her: nothing loth, of course, for at church I might look without fear of scorn or censure upon a form and face more pleasing to me than: the most beautiful of God's creations; I might listen without disturbance to a voice more charming than the sweetest music to my ears ; I might seem to hold communion with that soul in which I felt so deeply in- terested, and imbibe its purest thoughts and holiest aspirations, with no alloy to such felicity except the secret reproaches of my conscience, which would too often whisper that I was deceiving my own self, and mocking God with the service of a heart more bent upon the creature than the Creator.

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Sometimes such thoughts would give me trouble enough ; but sometimes I could quiet them with thinking—it is not the man, it is his goodness that I love. ‘‘ Whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are honest and of good report, think on these things.”” We do well to worship God in His works ; and I know none of them in which so many of His attributes—so much of His own spirit shines, as in this His faithful servant; whom to know and not to appreciate, were obtuse insensibility in me, who have so little else to occupy my heart. Almost immediately after the conclusion of the service, Miss Murray left the church. We had to stand in the porch, for it was raining, and the carriage was not yet come. I wondered at her coming forth so hastily, for neither young Meltham nor

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AGNES GREY, 409 Squire Green was there; but I soon found it was to secure an interview with Mr, Weston as he came out, which he presently did. Having saluted us both, he would have passed on, but she detained him ; first with observations upon the disagreeable weather, and then with asking if he would be so kind as to come some time to-morrow to see the granddaughter of the old woman who kept the porter’s lodge, for the girl was ill of a fever, and wished to see him, He promised to do so, ‘And at what time will you be most likely to come, Mr. Weston? The old woman will like to know when to expect you—you know such people think more about having their cottages in order when decent people come to see them than we are apt to suppose.” Here was a wonderful instance of consideration from the thoughtless Miss Murray. Mr. Weston named an hour in the morning at which he would endeavour to be there.

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By this time the carriage was ready, and the footman was waiting, with an open umbrella, to escort Miss Murray through the church- yard. Iwas about to follow ; but Mr. Weston had an umbrella too, and offered me the benefit of its shelter, for it was raining heavily. “No, thank you, I don’t mind the rain,’ I said. I always lacked common sense when taken by surprise. ‘But you don’t Ze it, I suppose ?—an umbrella will do you no harm at-any rate,” he replied, with a smile that showed he was not offended; as a man of worse temper or less penetration would have been at such a refusal of his aid.

I could not deny the truth of his assertion, and so went with him to the carriage ; he even offered me his hand on getting in: an unnecessary piece of civility, but I accepted that too, for fear of giving offence, One glance he gave, one little smile at parting—it was but for a moment:-; but therein I read, or thought I read, a meaning that kindled in my heart a brighter flame of hope than had ever yet arisen. ‘‘T would have sent the footman back for you, Miss Grey, if you'd waited a moment—you needn’t have taken Mr. Weston's umbrella,” observed Rosalie, with a very unamiable cloud upon her pretty face. “‘T would have come without an umbrella, but Mr. Weston offered me the benefit of his, and I could not have refused it more than I did without offending him,” replied I, smiling

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AIO AGNES GREY. placidly ; for my inward happiness made that amusing, which would have wounded me at another time. The carriage was now in motion. Miss Murray bent for- wards, and looked out of the window as we were passing Mr. Weston. He was pacing homewards along the causeway, and did not turn his head. “Stupid ass!” cried she, throwing herself back again in the seat. ‘You don’t know what you've lost by not looking this way !”’ ‘« What has he lost?” ‘“A& bow from me, that would have raised him to the seventh heaven |” I made no answer. I saw she was out of humour, and I derived a secret gratification from the fact, not that she was vexed, but that she thought she had reason to beso. It made me think my hopes were not entirely the offsprmg of my wishes and imagination, ‘‘T mean to take up Mr, Weston instead of Mr. Hatfield,” said my companion after a short pause, resuming something of her usual cheerfulness.

‘‘ The ball at Ashby Park takes place on Tuesday, you know; and mamma thinks it very likely that Sir Thomas will propose to me then: such things are often done in the privacy of the ball-room, when gentlemen are most easily ensnared, and ladies most enchanting. But if I am to be married so soon, I must make the best of the present time: I am deter- mined Hatfield shall not be the only man who shall lay his heart at my feet, and implore me to accept the worthless gift in vain.” ‘“Tf you mean Mr. Weston to be one of your victims,” said I, with affected indifference, ‘‘ you will have to make such over- tures yourself that you will find it difficult to draw back when he asks you to fulfil the expectations you have raised.” “‘T don’t suppose he will ask me to marry him—nor should I desire it: that would be va¢her too much presumption! but I intend him to feel my power.

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He has felt it already, indeed : but he shall acknowledge it too; and what visionary hopes he may have, he must keep to himself, and only amuse me with the result of them—for a time.” ““Oh! that some kind spirit would whisper those words in his ear!’ I inwardly exclaimed. I was far too indignant to hazard a reply to her observation, aloud ; and nothing more was said about Mr, Weston that day, by me or in my hearing. But next

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AGNES GREY. 4iI morning, soon after breakfast, Miss Murray came into the schoolroom where her sister was employed at her studies, or rather her lessons, for studies they were not, and said, “« Matilda, I want you to take a walk with me about eleven o'clock.” “©Oh, I can’t, Rosalie! I have to give orders about my new bridle and saddle-cloth, and speak to the rat-catcher about his dogs: Miss Grey must go with you.” ‘‘No, I want you,” said Rosalie; and calling her sister to the window, she whispered an explanation in her ear; upon which the latter consented to go. I remembered that eleven was the hour at which Mr. Weston proposed to come to the porter’s lodge ; and remembering that I beheld the whole contrivance.. Accordingly, at dinner, I was entertained with a long account of how Mr.

Weston had over- taken them as they were walking along the road; and how they had had a long walk and talk with him, and really found him quite an agreeable companion ; and how he must have been, and evidently was, delighted with them and their amazing con- descension, &c, &e.

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CONFESSIONS,

As I am in the way of confessions, I may as well acknowledge that, about this time, I paid more attention to dress than ever I had done before. This is not saying much; for hitherto I had been a little neglectful in that particular: but now, also, it was no uncommon thing to spend as much as two minutes in the con- templation of my own image in the glass ; though I never could derive any consolation from such a study. I could discover no beauty in those marked features, that pale hollow cheek, and ordinary dark brown hair; there might be intellect in the fore- head, there might be expression in the dark grey eyes: but what of that?—a low Grecian brow, and large black eyes devoid of sentiment would be esteemed far preferable. It is foolish to wish for beauty. Sensible people never either desire it for themselves, or care about it in others.

If the mind be but well cultivated, and the heart well disposed, no one ever cares for the exterior,

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AL2 AGNES GREY. So said the teachers of our childhood; and so say we to the children of the present day. All very judicious and proper, no doubt; but, are such assertions supported by actual ex- perience ? We are naturally disposed to love what gives us pleasure, and what more pleasing than a beautiful face—when we know no harm of the possessor at least? A little girl loves her bird—Why ? Because it lives and feels ; because it is helpless and harmless ? A toad, likewise, lives and feels, and is equally helpless and harm- less ; but though she would not hurt a toad, she cannot love it like the bird, with its graceful form, soft feathers, and bright, speaking eyes.

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If a woman is fair and amiable, she is praised for both qualities, but especially the former, by the bulk of man- kind : if, on the other hand, she is disagreeable in person and character, her plainness is commonly inveighed against as her greatest crime, because, to common observers, it gives the greatest offence ; while, if she is plain and good, provided she is a person of retired manners and secluded life, no one ever knows of her goodness, except her immediate connections, Others, on the contrary, are disposed to form unfavourable opinions of her mind and disposition, if it be but to excuse themselves for their instinc- tive dislike of one so unfavoured by nature ; and vice versé with her whose angel form conceals a vicious heart, or sheds a false, deceitful charm over defects and foibles that would not be tolerated in another.

They that have beauty, let them be thankful for it, and make a good use of it, like any other talent ; they that have it not, let them console themselves, and do the best they can without it: certainly, though liable to be over- estimated, it is a gift of God, and not to be despised. Many will feel this who have felt that they could love, and whose hearts tell them that they are worthy to be loved again; while yet they are debarred by the lack of this or some such seeming trifle, from giving and receiving that happiness they seem almost made to feel and to impart.

As well might the humble glow-worm despise that power of giving light without which the roving fly might pass her and repass her a thousand times, and never rest beside her : she might hear her winged darling buzzing over and around her ; he vainly seeking her, she longing to be found, but with no power to make her presence known, no voice to call him, no wings to follow his flight ;—the fly must seek another mate, the worm must live and die alone,

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AGNES GREY. 413 Such were some of my reflections about this period. -I might go on prosing more and more, I might dive much deeper, and disclose other thoughts, propose questions the reader might be puzzled to answer, and deduce arguments that might startle his prejudices, or, perhaps, provoke his ridicule, because he could not comprehend them ; but I forbear, Now, therefcre, let us return to Miss Murray. She accom- panied her mamma to the ball on Tuesday ; of course splendidly attired, and delighted with her prospects and her charms. As Ashby Park was nearly ten miles distant from Horton Lodge, they had to set out pretty early, and I intended to have spent the evening with Nancy Brown, whom I had not seen for a long time; but my kind pupil took care I should spend it neither there nor anywhere else beyond the limits of the schoolroom, by giving me a piece of music to copy, which kept me closely occu- pied till bed-time.

About eleven next morning, as soon as she had left her room, she came to tell me her news. Sir Thomas had indeed proposed to her at the ball : an event which reflected great credit on her mamma's sagacity, if not upon her skill in contrivance. I rather incline to the belief that she had first laid her plans, and then predicted their success. The offer had been accepted, of course, and the bridegroom-elect was coming that day to settle matters with Mr. Murray. Rosalie was pleased with the thoughts of becoming mistress of Ashby Park; she was elated with the prospect of the bridal ceremony and its attendant splendour and éc/at, the honeymoon spent abroad, and the subsequent gaieties she expected to enjoy in London and elsewhere; she appeared pretty well pleased too, for the time being, with Sir Thomas himself, because she had so lately seen him, danced with him, and been flattered by him ; but, after all, she seemed to shrink from the idea of being so soon united : she wished the ceremony to be delayed some months, at least ; and I wished it too.

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It seemed a horrible thing to hurry on the inauspicious match, and not to give the poor creature time to think and reason on the irrevocable step she was about to take. I made no pretension to ‘‘a mother’s watchful, anxious care,” but I was amazed and horrified at Mrs, Murray's heartlessness, or want of thought for the real good of her child ; and, by my unheeded warnings and exhortations, I vainly strove toremedy the evil. Miss Murray only laughed at what I said; and I soon found that her reluctance to an immediate union arose chiefly

• 414 AGNES GREY. from a desire to do what execution she could among the young gentlemen of her acquaintance, before she was incapacitated from further mischief of the kind. It was for this cause that, before confiding to me the secret of her engagement, she had extracted a promise that I would not mention a word on the subject to any one. And when I saw this, and when I beheld her plunge more recklessly than ever into the depths of heartless coquetry, I had no more pity for her. ‘Come what will,” I thought, ‘‘she deservesit. Sir Thomas cannot be too bad for her; and the sooner she is incapacitated from deceiving and injuring others the better.” The wedding was fixed for the rst of June.

Between that and the critical ball was little more than six weeks; but, with Rosalie’s accomplished skill and resolute exertion, much might be done, even within that period: especially as Sir Thomas spent most of the interim in London; whither he went up, it was said, to settle affairs with his lawyer, and make other preparations for the approaching nuptials. He endeavoured to supply the want of his presence by a pretty constant fire of billets-doux ; but these did not attract the neighbours’ attention, and open their eyes, as personal visits would have done ; and old Lady Ashby’s haughty, sour spirit of reserve withheld her from spreading the news, while her indifferent health prevented her coming to visit her future daughter-in-law; so that, altogether, this affair was kept far closer than such things usually are. Rosalie would sometimes show her lover's epistles to me, to convince me what a kind, devoted husband he would make.

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She showed me the letters of another individual, too, the un- fortunate Mr. Green, who had not the courage, or, as she ex- pressed it, the ‘‘spunk” to plead his cause in person, but whom one denial would not satisfy: he must write again and again. He would not have done so if he could have seen the grimaces his fair idol made over his moving appeals to her feelings, and heard her scornful laughter, and the opprobrious epithets she heaped upon him for his perseverance. ““Why don’t you tell him, at once, that you are engaged?” I asked. “Qh, I don’t want him to know that,” replied she. ‘‘If he knew it, his sisters and everybody would know it, and then there would bean end of my—ahem! And, besides, if I told him that, he would think my engagement was the only obstacle, and that

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AGNES GREY. 41§ I would have him if I were free ; which I could not bear that any man should think, and he, of all others, atleast. Besides, I don’t care for his letters,” she added contemptuously; “ he may write as often as he pleases, and look as great a calf as he likes when I meet him ; it only amuses me,” Meantime, young Meltham was pretty frequent in his visits to the house or transits past it: and, judging by Matilda’s execra- tions and reproaches, her sister paid more attention to him than civility required : in ether words, she carried on as animated a flirtation as the presence of her parents would admit. She made some attempts to bring Mr. Hatfield once more to her feet ; but finding them unsuccessful, she repaid his haughty indifference with still loftier scorn, and spoke of him with as much’ disdain and detestation as she had formerly done of his curate.

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But, amid all this, she never for a moment lost sight of Mr, Weston, She embraced every opportunity of meeting him, tried every art to fascinate him, and pursued him with as much perseverance as if she really loved him and no other, and the happiness of her life depended upon eliciting a return of affection. Such conduct was completely beyond my comprehension. Had I seen it depicted in a novel, I should have thought it unnatural; had I heard it described by others, I should have deemed it a mistake or an exaggeration ; but when I saw it with my own eyes, and suffered from it too, I could only conclude that excessive vanity, like drunkenness, hardens the heart, enslaves the faculties, and perverts the feelings ; and that dogs are not the only creatures which, when gorged to the throat, will yet gloat over what they cannot devour, and grudge the smallest morsel to a starving brother.

She now became extremely beneficent to the poor cottagers. Her acquaintance among them was more widely extended, her visits to their humble dwellings were more frequent.and excursive than they had ever been before. Hereby, she earned among them the reputation of a condescending and very charitable young lady ; and their encomiums were sure to be repeated to Mr. Weston: whom also she had thus a daily chance of meeting in one or other of their abodes, or in her transits to and fro; and often, likewise, she could gather, through their gossip, to what places he was likely to go at such and such a time, whether to baptize a child, or to visit the aged, the sick, the sad, or the dying ; and most skilfully she laid her plans accordingly. In

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• 416 AGNES GREY. these excursions she would sometimes go with her sister—whom, - by some means, she had persuaded or bribed to enter into her schemes—sometimes alone, never, now, with me; so that I was debarred the pleasure of seeing Mr. Weston, or hearing his voice even in conversation with another: which would certainly have been a very great pleasure, however hurtful or however fraught with pain. Icould not even see him at church: for Miss Murray, under some trivial pretext, chose to take possession of that corner in the family pew which had been mine ever since I came; and, unless I had the presumption to station myself between Mr, and Mrs.

Murray, I must sit with my back to the pulpit, which I ac- cordingly did, Now, also, I never walked home with my pupils: they said their mamma thought it did not look well to see three people out of the family walking, and only two going in the carriage; and, as they greatly preferred walking in fine weather, I should be honoured by going with theseniors. ‘‘ And, besides,” said they, “you can’t walk as fast as we do; you know you're always lag- ging behind.” JI knew these were false excuses, but I made no objections, and never contradicted such assertions, well knowing the motives which dictated them. And in the afternoons, during those six memorable weeks, I never went to church at all.

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IfI had a cold, or any slight indisposition, they took advantage of that to make me stay at home ; and often they would tell me they were not going again that day, themselves, and then pretend to change their minds, and set off without telling me: so managing their departure that I never discovered the change of purpose till too late. Upon their return home, on one of these occasions, they entertained me with an animated account of a conversation they had had with Mr. Weston as they came along. ‘‘And he asked if you were ill, Miss Grey,’’ said Matilda; ‘‘ but we told him you were quite well, only you didn’t want to come to church —so he'll think you’re turned wicked.” All chance meetings on week-days were likewise carefully pre- vented ; for, lest I should go to see poor Nancy Brown or any other person, Miss Murray took good care to provide sufficient employment for all my leisure hours.

There was always some drawing to finish, some music to copy, or some work to do, sufficient to incapacitate me from indulging in anything beyond a short walk about the grounds, however she or her sister might be occupied,

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AGNES GREY. 417 One morning, having sought and waylaid Mr. Weston, they returned in high glee to give me an account of their interview. ‘And he asked after you again,” said Matilda, in spite of her sister's silent but imperative intimation that she should hold her tongue. ‘‘He wondered why you were never with us, and thought you must have delicate health, as you came out so seldom.” “He didn’t, Matilda—what nonsense you're talking !” ‘‘Oh, Rosalie, what a lie! He did, you know; and you said —Don't Rosalie—hang it !—I won’t be pinchedso! And, Miss Grey, Rosalie told him you were quite well, but you were always so buried in your books that you had no pleasure in anything elsemm “‘What an idea he must have of me!” I thought. “‘And,” I asked, ‘‘ does old Nancy ever inquire about me?” “Yes; and we tell her you are so fond of reading and draw- ing that you can do nothing else.”

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‘That is not the case though ; if you had told her I was so busy I could not come to see her, it would have been nearer the truth.” “T don't think it would,” replied Miss Murray, suddenly kind- ling up; ‘I’m sure you have plenty of time to yourself now, when you have so little teaching to do.” It was no use beginning to dispute with such indulged, un- reasoning creatures: so I held my peace. I was accustomed, now, to keeping silence when things distasteful to my ear were uttered ; and now, too, I was used to wearing a placid smiling countenance when my heart was bitter within me. Only those who have felt the like can imagine my feelings, as I sat with an assumption of smiling indifference, listening to the accounts of those meetings and interviews with Mr.

Weston, which they seemed to find such pleasure in describing to me; and hearing things asserted of him which, from the character cf the man, I knew to be exaggerations and perversions of the truth, if not en- tirely false—things derogatory to him, and flattering to them— especially to Miss Murray—which I burned to contradict, or, at least, to show my doubts about, but dared not ; lest, in express- ing my disbelief, I should display my interest too. Other things I heard, which I felt or feared were indeed too true: but I must still conceal my anxiety respecting him, my indignation against them, beneath a careless aspect ; others, again, mere hints of fa)

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• 418 AGNES GREY. something said or done, which I longed to hear more of, but could not venture to inquire. So passed the weary time. I could not even comfort myself with saying, ‘‘She will soon be married ; and then there may be hope.” Soon after her marriage the holidays would come; and when I returned from home, most likely, Mr. Weston would be gone, for I was told that he and the Rector could not agree (the Rector’s fault, of course), and he was about to remove to an- other place. No-—besides my hope in God, my only consolation was. in thinking that, though he knew it not, I was’ more worthy of his love than Rosalie Murray, charming and engaging as she was; for I could appreciate his excellence, which she could not: I would devote my life to the promotion of his happiness ; she would destroy his happiness for the momentary gratification of her own vanity. ‘‘Oh, if he could but know the difference!” I would earnestly exclaim.

‘‘Butno! I would not have him see my heart: yet, if he could but know her hollowness, her worthless, heartless frivolity, he would then be safe, and I should be—almost happy, though I might never see him more!” I fear, by this time, the reader is well nigh disgusted with the folly and weakness I have so freely laid before him. I never disclosed it then, and would not have done so had my own sister or my mother been with me in the house. Iwas a closeand resolute dissembler—in this one case at least. My prayers, my tears, my wishes, fears, and lamentations, were witnessed by myself and Heaven alone.

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When we are harassed by sorrows or anxieties, or long op- pressed by any powerful feelings which we must keep to ourselves, for which we can obtain and seek no sympathy from any living creature, and which yet we cannot, or will not wholly crush, we often naturally seek relief in poetry—and often find it, too— whether in the effusions of others, which seem to harmonise with our existing case, or in our own attempts to give utterance to those thoughts and feelings in strains less musical, perchance, but more appropriate, and therefore more penetrating and sym- pathetic, and, for the time, more soothing, or more powerful to rouse and-to unburden the oppressed and swollen heart. Before this time, at Wellwood House and here, when suffering from home-sick melancholy, I had sought relief twice or thrice at this secret source of consolation; and now I flew to it again, with

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AGNES GREY. 419 greater avidity than ever, because I seemed to need it more. I still preserve those relics of past sufferings and experience, like pillars of witness set up in travelling through the vale of life, to mark particular occurrences. The footsteps are obliterated now; the face of the country may be changed ; but the pillar is still there, to remind me how all things were when it was reared. Lest the reader should be curious to see any of these effusions, I will favour him with one short specimen: cold and languid as the lines may seem, it was almost a passion of grief to which they owed their being. “Oh, they have robbed me of the hope My spirit held so dear ; They will not let me hear that voice My soul delights to hear, They will not let me see that face I so delight to see ; And they have taken all thy smiles, And all thy love from me.

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Well, let them seize on all they can ;— One treasure still is mine,— A heart that loves to think on thee, And feels the worth of thine.” Yes, at least, they could not deprive me of that: I could think of him day and night ; and I could feel that he was worthy to be thought of. Nobody knew him as I did; nobody could appre- ciate him as I did; nobody could love him as I—could, if I might: but there was the evil. What business had I to think so much of one that never thought of me? Was it not foolish? was it not wrong? Yet, if I found such deep delight in thinking of him, and if I kept those thoughts to myself, and troubled no one else with them, where was the harm of it? I would ask myself. And such reasoning prevented me from making any sufficient effort toshake off my fetters. But, if those thoughts brought delight, it was a painful, troubled pleasure, too near akin to anguish ; and one that did me more injury than I was aware of.

It was an indulgence that a person of more wisdom or more experience would doubtless have denied herself, And yet, how dreary to turn my eyes from the con-

• 420 AGNES GREY. templation of that bright object and force them to dwell on the dull, grey, desolate prospect around: the joyless, hopeless, solitary path that lay before me. It was wrong to be so joyless, so desponding ; I should have made God my friend, and to do His will the pleasure and the business of my life; but faith was weak, and passion was too strong. In this time of trouble I had two other causes of affliction. The first may seem a trifle, but it cost me many a tear: Snap, my little dumb, rough-visaged, but bright-eyed, warm-hearted companion, the only thing I had to love me, was taken away, and delivered over to the tender mercies of the village rat-catcher, a man notorious for his brutal treatment of his canine slaves. The other was serious enough: my letters from home gave in- timation that my father’s health was worse.

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No boding fears were expressed, but I was grown timid and despondent, and could not help fearing that some dreadful calamity awaited us there. I seemed to see the black clouds gathering round my native hills, and to hear the angry muttering of a storm that was about to burst, and desolate our hearth. CHAPTER XVIII. MIRTH AND MOURNING, THE rst of June arrived at last: and Rosalie Murray was trans- muted into Lady Ashby. Most splendidly beautiful she looked in her bridal costume. Upon her return from church, after the ceremony, she came flying into the schoolroom, flushed with excitement, and laughing, half in mirth, and half in reckless desperation, as it seemed to me, “Now, Miss Grey, I’m Lady Ashby!” she exclaimed.

‘It’s done, my fate is sealed: there’s no drawing back now, I’m come to receive your congratulations and bid you good-bye; and then I'm off for Paris, Rome, Naples, Switzerland, London— oh, dear! what a deal I shall see and hear before I come back again. But don’t forget me: I shan’t forget you, though I’ve been a naughty girl. Come, why don’t you congratulate me?”

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AGNES GREY. 421 “‘T cannot congratulate you,” I replied, ‘‘ till I know whether this change is really for the better: but I sincerely hope it is ; and I wish you true happiness and the best of blessings,” ‘‘ Well, good-bye, the carriage is waiting, and they’re calling me.” She gave me a hasty kiss, and was hurrying away: but, sud- denly returning, embraced me with more affection than I thought her capable of evincing, and departed with tears in her eyes. Poor girl! I really loved her then ; and forgave her from my heart all the injury she had done me—and others also: she had not half known it, I was sure; and I prayed God to pardon her too. During the remainder of that day of festal sadness, I was left to my own devices. Being too much unhinged for any steady occupation, I wandered about with a book in my hand for several hours, more thinking than reading, for I had many things to think about.

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In the evening, I made use of my liberty to go and see my old friend Nancy once again; to apologise for my long absence (which must have seemed so neglectful and unkind) by telling her how busy I had been; and to talk, or read, or work for her, whichever might be most acceptable, and also, of course, to tell her the news of this important day: and perhaps to obtain a little information from her in return, respecting Mr. Weston’s expected departure. But of this she seemed to know nothing, and I hoped, as she did, that it was all a false report.

She was very glad to see me; but, happily, her eyes were now so nearly well that she was almost independent of my ser- vices, She was deeply interested in the wedding; but while I amused her with the details of the festive day, the splendours of the bridal party and of the bride herself, she often sighed and shook her head, and wished good might come of it ; she seemed, like me, to regard it rather as a theme for sorrow than rejoicing. I sat a long time talking to her about that and other things—but 20 one came. Shall I confess that I sometimes looked towards the door with a half-expectant wish to see it open and give entrance to Mr. Weston, as had happened once before? and that, returning through the lanes and fields, I often paused to look round me, and walked more slowly than was at all necessary—for, though a fine evening, it was not a hot one—and, finally, felt a sense of emptiness and disappointment at having reached the house

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• 422 AGNES GREY. without meeting or even catching a distant glimpse of any one, except a few labourers returning from their work ? Sunday, however, was approaching: I should see him then ; for now that Miss Murray was gone, I could have my old corner again. I should see him, and by look, speech, and manner, I might judge whether the circumstance of her marriage had very much afflicted him. Happily, I could perceive no shadow of a difference : he wore the same aspect as he had worn two months ago—voice, look, manner, all alike unchanged: there was the same keen-sighted, unclouded truthfulness in his discourse, the same forcible clearness in his style, the same earnest simplicity in all he said and did, that made itself not marked by the eye and ear, but felt upon the hearts of his audience. I walked home with Miss Matilda; but Ze did not join us.

Matilda was now sadly at a loss for amusement, and woefully in want of a companion: her brothers at school, her sister married and gone, she too young to be admitted into society ; for which, from Rosalie’s example, she was in some degree beginning to acquire a taste—a taste at least for the company of certain classes of gentlemen; at this dull time of year—no hunting going on, no shooting even—for, though she might not join in that, it was something to see her father or the gamekeeper go out with the dogs, and to talk with them on their return, about the different birds they had bagged.

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Now, also, she was denied the solace which the companionship of the coachman, grooms, horses, greyhounds, and pointers might have afforded ; for her mother having, notwithstanding the disadvantages of a country life, so satisfactorily disposed of her elder daughter, the pride of her heart, had begun seriously to turn her attention to the younger ; and, being truly alarmed at the roughness of her manners, and thinking it high time to work a reform, had been roused at length to exert her authority, and prohibited entirely the yards, stables, kennels, and coach-house. Of course, she was not implicitly obeyed ; but, indulgent as she had hitherto been, when once her spirit was roused, her temper was not so gentle as she required that of her governesses to be, and her will was not to be thwarted withimpunity.

After many a scene of contention between mother and daughter, many a violent outbreak which I was ashamed to witness, in which the father’s authority was often called in to confirm with oaths and threats the mother’s slighted prohibitions —for even he could see that ‘‘ Tilly, though she would have made

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AGNES GREY. _ 3423 a fine lad, was not quite what a young lady ought to be’’— Matilda at length found that her easiest plan was to keep clear of the forbidden regions ; unless she could now and then steal a visit without her watchful mother’s knowledge. Amid all this, let it not be imagined that I escaped without many a reprimand, and many an implied reproach, that lost none of its sting from not being openly worded; but rather wounded the more-deeply, because, from that very reason, it seemed to preclude self-defence. Frequently, I was told to amuse Miss Matilda with other things, and to zemznd her of her mother’s precepts and prohibitions. I did so to the best of my power; but she would not be amused against her will, and could not against her taste; and though I went beyond mere reminding, such gentie remonstrances as I could use were utterly ineffectual. ; “« Dear Miss Grey! it is the strangest thing.

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I suppose you can’t help it, if it’s not in your nature—but I wonder you can’t win the confidence of that girl, and make your society at /east as agreeable to her as that of Robert or Joseph !’”’ “« They can talk the best about the things in which she is most interested,” I replied. “Well! that is a strange confession, owever, to come from her governess / Who is to form a young lady’s tastes, I wonder, if the governess doesn’t do it? I Aave known governesses who have so completely identified themselves with the reputation of their young ladies for elegance and propriety in mind and manners, that they would d/zsh to speak a word against them ; and to hear the slightest blame imputed to their pupils was worse than to be censured in their own persons—and I really think it very natural, for my part.” “Do you, ma’am?”

“Yes, of course: the young lady’s proficiency and elegance is of more consequence to the governess than her own, as well as to the world. If she wishes to prosper in her vocation she must devote all her energies to her business: all her ideas and all her ambition will tend to the accomplishment of that one object. When we wish to decide upon the merits of a governess, we naturally look at the young ladies she professes to have edu- cated, and judge accordingly. The judicious governess knows this: she knows that, while she lives in obscurity herself, her pupil's virtues and defects will be open to every eye; and that,

• 424 AGNES GREY. unless she loses sight of herself in their cultivation, she need not hope for success. You see, Miss Grey, it is just the same as any other trade or profession: they that wish to prosper must devote themselves body and soul to their calling ; and if they begin to yield to indolence or self-indulgence they are speedily distanced by wiser competitors: there is little to choose between a person that ruins her pupils by neglect, and one that corrupts them by her example. You will excuse my dropping these little hints ; you know it is all for your own good. Many ladies would speak to you much more strongly ; and many would not trouble themselves to speak at all, but quietly look out for a substitute.

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That, of course, would be the easzes¢ plan: but I know the advantages of a place like this to a person in your situation ; and I have no desire to part with you, as I am sure you would do very well if you will only think of these things and try to exert yourself a /é¢#/e more: then, I am convinced, you would sooz acquire that delicate tact which alone is want- ing to give you a proper influence over the mind of your pupil.” I was about to give the lady some idea of the fallacy of her expectations ; but she sailed away as soon as she had concluded her speech, Having said what she wished, it was no part of her plan to await my answer: it was my business to hear, and not to speak.

However, as I have said, Matilda at length yielded in some degree to her mother’s authority (pity it had not been exerted before) ; and being thus deprived of almost every source of amusement, there was nothing for it but to take long rides with the groom and long walks with the governess, and to visit the cottages and farm-houses on her father’s estate, to kill time in chatting with the old men and women that inhabited them. In one of these walks, it was our chance to meet Mr. Weston. This was what I had long desired; but now, for a moment, I wished either he or I were away: I felt my heart throb so violently that I dreaded lest some outward signs of emotion should appear; but I think he hardly glanced at me, and I was soon calm enough. After a brief salutation to both, he asked Matilda if she had lately heard from her sister, “Yes,” replied she. ‘‘She was at Paris when she wrote, and very well, and very happy.”

She spoke the last word emphatically, and with a glance

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AGNES GREY. 425 impertinently sly. He did not seem to notice it, but replied, with equal emphasis, and very seriously— “‘T hope she will continue to be so.” “Do you think it likely ?’’ I ventured to inquire: for Matilda had started off in pursuit of her dog, that was chasing a leveret. “T cannot tell,” replied he.» ‘‘ Sir Thomas may be a better man than I suppose; but, from all I have heard and seen, it seems a pity that one so young, and gay, and—and znteresting, to express many things by one word—whose greatest, if not her only fault, appears to be thoughtlessness—no trifling fault to be sure, since it renders the possessor liable to almost every other, and exposes him to so many temptations: but it seems a pity that she should be thrown away on such a man. It was her mother’s wish, I suppose ?”” : “Yes ; and her own too, I think, for she always laughed at my attempts to dissuade her from thé step.” “You did attempt it?

Then, at least, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that it is no fault of yours, if any harm should come of it. As for Mrs. Murray, I don’t know how she can justify her conduct: if I had sufficient acquaintance with her, I’d ask her.’’ ‘Tt seems unnatural: but some people think rank and wealth the chief good ; and, if they can secure that for their children, they think they have done their duty.” ‘True: but is it not strange that persons of experience, who have been married themselves, should judge so falsely?” Matilda now came panting back, with the lacerated body of the young hare in her hand. ‘Was it your intention to kill that hare, or to save it, Miss Murray?” asked Mr. Weston, apparently puzzled at her gleeful countenance, “‘T pretended to want to save it,” she answered, honestly enough, ‘‘as it was so glaringly out of season ; but I was better pleased to see it killed.

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However, you can both witness that I couldn't help it: Prince was determined to have her ; and he clutched her by the back, and killed her in a minute! Wasn't it a noble chase?” “Very! for a young lady after a leveret.” There was a quiet sarcasm in the tone of his reply which was not lost upon her; she shrugged her shoulders, and, turning away with a significant ‘‘Humph!” asked me how O2

• 426 AGNES GREY. J had enjoyed the fun. I replied that I saw no fun in the matter; but admitted that I had not observed the transaction very narrowly. ““Didn’t you see how it doubled—just like an old hare? and didn’t you hear it scream?” “«T'm happy to say I did not.” “Tt cried out just like a child.” - Poor little thing! What will you do with it?” ‘Come along—I shall leave it in the first house we come to. T don’t want to take it home, for fear papa should scold me for letting the dog kill it.” Mr. Weston was now gone, and we too went on our way ; but as we returned, after having deposited the hare in a farm- house, and demolished some spice-cake and currant wine in exchange, we met him returning also from the execution of his mission, whatever it might be.

He carried in his hand a cluster of beautiful bluebells which he offered to me; observ- ing, with a smile, that though he had seen so little of me for the last two months, he had not forgotten that bluebells were numbered among my favourite flowers. It was done as a simple act of goodwill, without compliment or remarkable courtesy, or any look that could be construed into ‘‘reveren- tial, tender adoration” (vzde Rosalie Murray); but still, it was something to find my unimportant saying so well remem- bered: it was something that he had noticed so accurately the time I had ceased to be visible. «T was told,” said he, ‘‘that you were a perfect bookworm, Miss Grey: so completely absorbed in your studies that you were lost to every other pleasure.” ’Yes, and it’s quite true!” cried Matilda. ‘““No, Mr.

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Weston; don’t believe it: it’s a scandalous libel, These young ladies are too fond of making random assertions at the expense of their friends ; and you ought to be careful how you listen to them,” ““T hope ¢hzs assertion is groundless, at any rate.” “Why? Do you particularly object to ladies studying?” ‘‘No; but I object to any one so devoting himself or her- self to study, as to lose sight of everything else. Except under peculiar circumstances, I consider very close and constant study as a waste of time, and an injury to the mind as well as the body.”

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AGNES GREY. 427 ‘* Well, I have neither the time nor the inclination for such transgressions.” We parted again. Well! what is there remarkable in all this? Why have I recorded it? Because, reader, it was important enough to give me a cheerful evening, a night of pleasing dreams, and a morn- ing of felicitous hopes. Shallow-brained cheerfulness, foolish dreams, unfounded hopes, you would say; and I will not venture to deny it: suspicions to that effect arose too frequently in my own mind. But our wishes are like tinder: the flint and steel of cireumstances are continually striking out sparks, which vanish immediately, unless they chance to fall upon the tinder of our wishes; then, they instantly ignite, and the flame.of hope is kindled in a moment.

But alas ! that very morning, my flickering flame of hope was dismally quenched by a letter from my mother, which spoke so seriously of my father’s increasing illness, that I feared there was little or no chance of his recovery ; and, close at hand as the holidays were, I almost trembled lest they should come too late for me to meet him in this world. Two days after, a letter from Mary told me his life was despaired of, and his end seemed fast approaching. ‘Then, immediately, I sought permission to anticipate the vacation, and go without delay. Mrs.

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Murray stared, and wondered at the unwonted energy and boldness with which I urged the request, and thought there was no occasion to hurry; but finally gave me leave: stating, however, that there was ‘‘no need to be in such agitation about the matter— it might prove a false alarm after all; and if not—why, it was only in the common course of nature: we must all die some time; and I was not to suppose myself the only afflicted person in the world ;” and concluding with saying I might have the phaeton to take me toO——. ‘And instead of repining, Miss Grey, be thankful for the Arzvileges you enjoy. ‘There’s many a poor clergyman whose family would be plunged into ruin by the event of his death; but yow, you see, have influential friends ready to continue their patronage, and to show you every con- sideration.” T thanked her for her ‘‘consideration,” and flew to my room to make some hurried preparations for my departure.

My bonnet and shawl being on, and a few things hastily crammed into my largest trunk, I descended, But I might have done the work

• 428 AGNES GREY. more leisurely, for no one else was in a hurry; and I had still a considerable time to wait for the phaeton. At length it came to the door, and I was off: but, oh, what a dreary journey was that ! how utterly different from my former passages homewards ! Being too late for the last coach to , | had to hire a cab for ten miles, and then a car to take me over the rugged hills. It was half-past ten before I reached home, They were not in bed, My mother and sister both met me in the passage—sad— silent—pale! I was so much shocked and terror-stricken that I could not speak, to ask the information I so much longed yet dreaded to obtain. “Agnes!” said my mother, struggling to repress some strong emotion. “Oh, Agnes!” cried Mary, and burst into tears. ‘‘ How is he?” I asked, gasping for the answer. “Dead |” It was the reply I had anticipated: but the shock seemed none the less tremendous. CHAPTER XIX. THE LETTER.

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My father’s mortal remains had been consigned to the tomb; and we, with sad faces and sombre garments, sat lingering over the frugal breakfast-table, revolving plans for our future life. My mother’s strong mind had not given way beneath even this affliction: her spirit, though crushed, was not broken. Mary’s wish was that I should go back to Horton Lodge, and that our mother should come and live with her and Mr. Richardson at the vicarage: she affirmed that he wished it no less than her- self, and that such an arrangement could not fail to benefit all parties; for my mother’s society and experience would be of inestimable value to them, and they would do all they could to make her happy. But no arguments or entreaties could prevail; my mother was determined not to go. Not that she questioned, for a moment, the kind wishes and intentions of

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AGNES GREY, 429. her daughter ; but she affirmed that so long as God spared her health and strength, she would make use of them to earn her own livelihood, and be chargeable to no one; whether her dependence would be felt as a burden or not. If she could afford to reside as a lodger in —— vicarage, she would choose that house before all others as the place of her abode; but not being so circumstanced, she would never come under its roof, except as an occasional visitor: unless sickness or calamity should render her~assistance really needful, or until age or infirmity made her incapable of maintaining herself. ‘‘No, Mary,” said she, ‘‘if Richardson and you have any- thing to spare, you must lay it aside for your family ; and Agnes and I must gather honey for ourselves. Thanks to my having had daughters to educate, I have not forgotten my accomplish- ments.

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God willing, I will check this vain repining,’—she said, while the tears coursed one another ‘down her cheeks in spite of her efforts; but she wiped them away, and resolutely shaking back her head, continued, ‘‘I will exert myself, and look out for a small house, commodiously situated in some populous but healthy district, where we will take a few young ladies to board and educate—if we can get them—and as many day-pupils as will come, or as we can manage to instruct. Your father’s relations and old friends will be able to send us some pupils, or to assist us with their recommendations, no doubt: I shall not apply to my own, What say you to it, Agnes? will you be willing to leave your present situation and try?” “Quite willing, mamma: and the money I have saved will do to furnish the house, It shall be taken from the bank directly.” ‘“‘When it is wanted: we must get the house, and settle on preliminaries first.”

Mary offered to lend the little she possessed ; but my mother declined it, saying, that we must begin on an economical plan ; and she hoped that the whole or part of mine, added to what we could get by the sale of the furniture, and what little our dear papa had contrived to lay aside for her since the debts were paid, would be sufficient to last us till Christmas; when, it was hoped, something would accrue from our united labours. It was finally settled that this should be our plan; and that inquiries and preparations should immediately be set on foot ; and while my mother busied herself with these, I should return

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• 430 AGNES GREY, to Horton Lodge at thé close of my four weeks’ vacation, and give notice for my final departure when things were in train for the speedy commencement of our school. We were discussing these affairs on the morning I have men- tioned, about a fortnight after my father’s death, when a letter was brought in for my mother, on beholding which the colour mounted to her face—lately pale enough with anxious watchings and excessive sorrow. ‘‘From my father !’’ murmured she, as she hastily tore off the cover. It was many years since she had heard from any of her own relations before. Naturally wonder- ing what the letter might contain, I watched her countenance while she read it, and was somewhat surprised to ‘see her bite her lip and knit her brows as if in anger. When she had done, she somewhat irreverently cast it on the table, saying with a scornful smile— ‘Your grandpapa has been so kind as to write to me.

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He says he has no doubt I have long repented of my ‘unfortunate marriage,’ and if I will only acknowledge this, and confess I was wrong in neglecting his advice, and that I have justly suffered for it, he will make a lady of me once again—if that be possible after my long degradation—and remember my girls in his will. Get my desk, Agnes, and send these things away : I will answer the letter directly. But first, as I may be depriving you both ofa legacy, it is just that I should tell you what I mean to say. I'shall say that he is mistaken in supposing that I can regret the birth of my daughters (who have been the pride of my life, and are likely to be the comfort of my old age), or the thirty years I have passed in the company of my best and dearest friend ;— that, had our misfortunes been three times as great as they were (unless they had been of my bringing on), I should still the more rejoice to have shared them with your father, and administered what consolation I was able; and, had his sufferings in illness been ten times what they were, I could not regret having watched over ‘and laboured to relieve them; that, if he had married a richer wife, misfortunes and trials would no doubt have come upon him still; while 1 am egotist enough to imagine that no other woman could have cheered him through them so well: not that 1 am superior to the rest, but I was made for him, and he for me; and I can no more repent the hours, days, years of happiness we have spent together, and which neither could have had without the other, than I can the privilege of

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AGNES GREY. 431 having been his nurse in sickness, and his comfort in afflic- tion. : ‘Will this do, children?—or shall I say we are all very sorry for what has happened during the last thirty years, and my daughters wish they had never been born; but since they have had that misfortune, they will be thankful for any trifle their grandpapa will be kind enough to bestow?” Of course, we both applauded our mother’s resolution ; Mary cleared away the breakfast things; I brought the desk; the letter was quickly written and despatched ; and, from that day, we heard no more of our grandfather, till we saw his death announced in the newspaper a considerable time after—all his worldly possessions, of course, being left to our wealthy, un- known cousins, CHAPTER XX, THE FAREWELL. A HOUSE in A——, the fashionable watering-place, was hired for our seminary; and a promise of two or three pupils was obtained to commence with.

I returned to Horton Lodge about the middle of July, leaving my mother to conclude the bargain for the house, to obtain more pupils, to sell off the furniture of our old abode, and to fit out the new one. We often pity the poor, because they have no leisure to mourn their departed relatives, and necessity obliges them to labour through their severest afflictions: but is not active employment the best remedy for overwhelming sorrow—the surest antidote for despair? It may be a rough comforter: it may seem hard to be harassed with the cares of life when we have no relish for its enjoyments ; to be goaded to labour when the heart is ready to break, and the vexed spirit implores for rest only to weep in silence: but is not labour better than the rest we covet? and are not those petty, tormenting cares less hurtful than a continual brooding over the great affliction that oppresses us?

Besides, we cannot have cares, and anxieties, and toil, without hope—if it be but the hope of fulfilling our

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• 432 AGNES GREY. joyless task, accomplishing some needful project, or escaping some further annoyance. At any rate, I was glad my mother had so much employment for every faculty of her action-loving frame. Our kind neighbours lamented that she, once so exalted in wealth and station, should be reduced to such extremity in her time of sorrow; but I am persuaded that she would have suffered thrice as much had she been left in affluence, with liberty to remain in that house, the scene of her early happiness and late affliction, and no stern necessity to prevent her from incessantly brooding over and lamenting her bereavement.

I will not dilate upon the feelings with which I left the old house, the well-known garden, the little village church—then doubly dear to me, because my father, who, for thirty years, had taught and prayed within its walls, lay slumbering now beneath its flags—and the old bare hills, delightful in their very desola- tion, with the narrow vales between, smiling in green wood and sparkling water—the house where I was born, the scene of all my early associations, the place where throughout life my earthly affections had been centred ;—and left them to return no more ! True, I was going back to Horton Lodge, where, amid many evils, one source of pleasure yet remained: but it was pleasure mingled with excessive pain; and my stay, alas! was limited to six weeks. And even of that precious time, day after day slipped by and I did not see him: except at church, I never saw him for a fortnight after my return.

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It seemed a long time to me: and, as I was often out with my rambling pupil, of course hopes would keep rising, and disappointments would ensue; and, then, I would say to my own heart, ‘‘ Here is a convincing proof—if you would but have the sense to see it, or the candour to acknowledge it—that he does not care for you. if he only thought 4aJf as much about you as you do about him, he would have contrived to meet you many times ere this : you must know that, by consulting your own feelings. There- fore, have done with this nonsense: you have no ground for hope: dismiss, at once, these hurtful thoughts and foolish wishes from your mind, and turn to your own duty, and the dull blank life that lies before you. You might have known such happiness was not for you.” But I saw him at last.

He came suddenly upon me as I was crossing a field in returning from a visit to Nancy Brown, which i had taken the opportunity of paying while Matilda Murray

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AGNES GREY. 433 was riding her matchless mare. He must have heard of the heavy loss I had sustained : he expressed no sympathy, offered no condolence: but almost the first words he uttered were— ““How is your mother?” And this was no matter-of-course question, for I never told him that I kad a mother: he must have learned the fact from others, if he knew it at all; and, besides, there was sincere good-will, and even deep, touching, unobtrusive sympathy in the tone and manner of the inquiry. I thanked him with due civility, and told him she was as well as could be expected. ‘‘ What will she do?” was the next question. Many would have deemed it an impertinent one, and given an evasive reply ; but such an idea never entered my head, and J gave a brief but plain statement of mother's plans and prospects. : “‘Then you will leave this place shortly ?” said he, “Yes, in-a month.” * : He paused a minute, as if in thought.

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When he spoke again, I hoped it would be to express his concern at my departure ; but it was only to say—‘‘I should think you will be willing enough to go?” ‘‘ Yes—for some things,” I replied, “For some things only—I wonder what should make you tegret it!” I was annoyed at this in some degree ; because it embarrassed me; I had only one reason for regretting it; and that was a profound secret, which he had no business to trouble me about. ‘« Why,” said I—‘‘ why should you suppose that I dislike the place?” ‘You told me so yourself,’ was the decisive reply. ‘‘ You said, at least, that you could not live contentedly, without a friend ; and that you had no friend here, and no possibility of making one—and besides, I know you wzzst dislike it.” “‘But if you remember rightly, I said, or meant to say, I could not live contentedly without a friend in the wov/d. I was not so unreasonable as to require one always near me.

I think I could be happy in a house full of enemies, if” but no; that sentence must not be continued—I paused, and hastily added—‘‘ And besides, we cannot well leave a place where we have lived for two or three years, without some feeling of regret.”

• 434 AGNES GREY. ‘Will you regret to part with Miss Murray, your sole remains ing pupil and companion?” : “JT dare say I shall in wore degree: it was not without sorrow I parted with her sister.” “TJ can imagine that.” “Well, Miss Matilda is quite as good—better, in one respect.” “What is that?” ‘«She’s honest.” ‘« And the other is not?” ‘IT should not call her @shonest ; but it must be confessed, she’s a little artful.” “‘ Artful is she ?—I saw she was giddy and vain—and now,” he added, after a pause, ‘‘I can well believe she was artful too 3 but so excessively so as to assume an aspect of extreme sim- plicity and unguarded openness. Yes,” continued he musingly, “that accounts for some little things that puzzled me a trifle before.” After that, he turned the conversation to more general sub- jects.

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He did not leave me till we had nearly reached the park gates: he had certainly stepped a little out of his way to accompany me so far, for he now went back and disappeared down Moss Lane, the entrance of which we had passed some time before. Assuredly I did not regret this circumstance: if sorrow had any place in my heart, it was that he was gone at last—that he was no longer walking by my side, and that that short interval of delightful intercourse was at an end. He had not breathed a word of love, or dropped one hint of tenderness or affection, and yet I had been supremely happy. To be near him, to hear him talk as he did talk; and to feel that he thought me worthy to be so spoken to—capable of understanding and duly appreciating such discourse—was enough.

“Yes, Edward Weston, I could indeed be happy in a house full of enemies, if I had but one friend, who truly, deeply, and faithfully loved me; and if that friend were you—though we might be far apart—seldom to hear from each other, still more seldom to meet—though toil, and trouble, and vexation might surround me, still—it would be too much happiness for me to dream of! Yet who can tell,” said I within myself, as I pro- ceeded up the park—‘‘who can tell what this one month may bring forth? I have lived nearly three-and-twenty years, and I have suffered much, and tasted little pleasure yet : is it likely

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AGNES GREY. 435 my life all through will be so clouded? Is it not possible that God may hear my prayers, disperse these gloomy shadows, and grant me some beams of heaven’s sunshine yet! Will He en- tirely deny to me those blessings which are so freely given to others, who neither ask them nor acknowledge them when received? May I not still hope and trust?” I did hope and trust for a while: but, alas, alas! the time ebbed away: one week followed another, and, excepting one distant glimpse and two transient meetings—during which scarcely anything was said—while I was walking with Miss Matilda, I saw nothing of him: except, of course, at church, And now, the last Sunday was come, and the last service, I was often on the point of melting into tears during the sermon —the last I was to hear from him: the best I should hear from any one, I was well assured. It was over—the congregation were departing ; and I must follow.

JI had then seen him, and heard his voice, too, probably for the last time. In the church- yard, Matilda was pounced upon by the two Misses Green. They had many inquiries to make about her sister, and I know not what besides. I only wished they would have done, that we might hasten back to Horton Lodge: I longed to seek the retirement of my own room, or some sequestered nook in the grounds, that I might deliver myself up to my feelings—to weep my last farewell, and lament my false hopes and vain delusions. Only this once, and then adieu to fruitless dreaming—thence- forth, only sober, solid, sad reality should occupy my mind. But while I thus resolved, a low voice close beside me said— ‘I suppose you are going this week, Miss Grey?” ‘‘ Yes,” I replied. I was very much startled; and had I been at all hysterically inclined, I certainly should have committed myself in some way then. Thank God, I was not. “Well,” said Mr.

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Weston, ‘‘I want to bid you good-bye—it is not likely I shall see you again before you go.” ““Good-bye, Mr. Weston,” I said. Oh, how I ‘struggled to: say it calmly! I gave him my hand, He retained it a few seconds in his. “Tt is possible we may meet again,” said he; ‘‘will it be of any consequence to you whether we do or not?” “Yes, I should be very glad to see you again,” I could say no less, He kindly pressed my hand, and went. Now, I was happy again—though more inclined to burst into

• 436 AGNES GREY. . tears than ever. If I had been forced to speak at that moment, a succession of sobs would have inevitably ensued ; and as it was, I could not keep the water out of my eyes. I walked along with Miss Murray, turning aside my face, and neglecting to notice several successive remarks, till she bawled out that I was either deaf or stupid; and then (having recovered my self-possession), as one awakened from a fit of abstraction, I suddenly looked up and asked what she had been saying. CHAPTER XXfI. THE SCHOOL, Y Lert Horton Lodge, and went to join my mother in our new abode at A——. I found her well in health, resigned in spirit, and even cheerful, though subdued and sober, in her general demeanour. We had only three boarders and half a dozen day-pupils to commence with; but by due care and diligence we hoped ere long to increase the number of both.

I set myself with befitting energy to discharge the duties of this new mode of life. I call it ew, for there was, indeed, a considerable difference between working with my mother in a school of our own, and working as a hireling among strangers, despised and trampled upon by old and young; and for the first few weeks I was by no means unhappy. ‘‘It is possible we may meet again,” and ‘‘will it be of any con- sequence to you whether we do or not?”—Those words still rang in my ear and rested on my heart: they were my secret solace and support. ‘‘I shall see him again.—He will come ; or he will write.” No promise, in fact, was too bright or too extravagant for Hope to whisper in my ear.

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I did not believe half of what she told me: I pretended to laugh at it all; but I was far more credulous than I myself supposed ; otherwise, why did my heart leap up when a knock was heard at the front door, and the maid, who opened it, came to tell my mother a gentleman wished to see her? and why was I out of humour for the rest of the day, because it proved to be a music-master come to offer his services to our schocl? and what stopped my

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AGNES GREY, 437 breath for a moment, when the postman having brought a couple of letters, my mother said, ‘‘ Here, Agnes, this is for you,” and threw one of them to me? and what made the hot blood rush into my face when I saw it was directed in a gentleman’s hand? and why?—oh! why did that cold, sickening sense of disappointment fall upon me, when I had torn open the cover and found it was ovz/y a letter from Mary, which, for some reason or other, her husband had directed for her. Was it then come to this—that I should be disappointed to receive a letter from my only sister: and because it was not written by a comparative stranger? Dear Mary! and she had written it so kindly—and thinking I should be so pleased to have it!—I was not worthy to read it!

And I believe, in my indignation against myself, I should have put it aside till I had schooled myself into a better frame of,mind, and was become more deserving of the honour and privilege of its perusal: but there was my mother looking on, and wishful to know what news it contained; so I read it and delivered it to her, and then went into the schoolroom to attend to the pupils: but amidst the cares of copies and sums—in the intervals of correct- ing errors here, and reproving derelictions of duty there, I was inwardly taking myself to task with far sterner severity. ‘‘ What a fool you must be,” said my head to my heart, or my sterner to my softer self ;—‘‘ how could you ever dream that he would write to you ? What grounds have you for such a hope —or that he will see you, or give himself any trouble about you —or even think of you again?”

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‘‘ What grounds ?’”’—and then Hope set before me that last, short interview, and repeated the words I had so faithfully treasured in my memory. ‘‘ Well, and what was there in that?—Who ever hung his hopes upon so frail a twig? What was there in those words that any common acquaintance might not say to another? Of course, it was possible you might meet again: he might have said so if you had been going to New Zealand; but that did not imply any intention of seeing you—and then, as to the question that followed, any one might ask that: and how did you answer? —Merely with a stupid, commonplace reply, such as you would have given to Master Murray, or any one else you had been on tolerably civil terms with.” ‘‘ But, then,” persisted Hope, ‘*the tone and manner in which he spoke.’”’ ‘Qh, that is

• 438 AGNES GREY. nonsense! he always speaks impressively ; and at that moment there were the Greens and Miss Matilda Murray just before, and other people passing’ by, and he was obliged to stand close beside you, and to speak very low, unless he wished everybody to hear what he said; which—though it was nothing at all particular—of course, he would rather not.” But then, above all, that emphatic, yet gentle pressure of the hand, which seemed to say, ‘‘ Trust me,” and many other things besides— too delightful, almost too flattering, to be repeated, even to one’s self. ‘‘Egregious folly—too absurd to require contra- diction—mere inventions of the imagination, which you ought to be ashamed of.

If you would but consider your own un- attractive exterior, your unamiable reserve, your foolish diffi- dence—which must make you appear cold, dull, awkward, and perhaps ill-tempered too ;—if you had but rightly considered these from the beginning, you would never have harboured such presumptuous thoughts: and now that you have been so foolish, pray repent and amend, and let us have no more of it!” Icannot say that I implicitly obeyed my own injunctions: but such reasoning as this became more and more effective as time wore on, and nothing was seen or heard of Mr. Weston: until at last, I gave up hoping, for even my heart acknowledged it was all in vain.

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But still, I would think of him: I would cherish his image in my mind ; and treasure every word, look, and gesture that my memory could retain ; and brood over his excellences and his peculiarities, and, in fact, all I had seen, heard, or imagined respecting him, “Agnes, this sea air and change of scene do you no good, I think : I never saw you look so wretched. It must be that you sit too much, and allow the cares of the schoolroom to worry you. You must learn to take things easy, and to be more active and cheerful; you must take exercise whenever you can get it, and leave the most. tiresome duties to me: they will only serve to exercise my patience, and, perhaps, try my temper a little.” So said my mother, as we sat at work one morning during the Easter holidays.

I assured her that my employments were not at all oppressive; that I was well; or, if there was anything amiss, it would be gone as soon as the trying months of spring ‘were over; when summer came I should be as strong and hearty

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AGNES GREY. 439 as she could wish to see me: but inwardly her cbservation startled me. I knew my strength was declining, my appetite had: failed, and I was grown listless and desponding ;—and if, indeed, he could never care for me, and I could never'see him more—if I was forbidden to minister to his happiness—forbidden, for ever, to taste the joys of love, to bless and to be blessed— then, life must be a burden, and if my Heavenly Father would call me away, I should be glad to rest. But it would not do to dic and leave my mother. Selfish, unworthy daughter, to forget her for a moment! Was not her happiness committed in a great measure to my charge?—and the welfare of our young pupils too? Should I shrink from the work that God had set before me, because it was not fitted to my taste?

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Did not He know best what I should do, and where I ought to labour? and should I long to quit His service before I had finished, my task, and expect to enter into His rest without having laboured to earn it? ‘*No; by His help I will arise and address myself diligently to my appointed duty. If happiness in this world is not for me, I will endeavour to promote the welfare of those around me, and my reward shall be hereafter.’’ So said I in my heart; and from that hour I only permitted my thoughts to wander to Edward Weston—or at least to dwell upon him now and then— as a treat for rare occasions: and, whether it was really the approach of summer, or the effect of these good resolutions, or the lapse of time, or all together, tranquillity of mind was soon restored ; and bodily health and vigour began likewise, slowly, but surely, to return. Early in June, I received a letter from Lady Ashby, late Miss Murray.

She had written to me twice or thrice before, from the different stages of her bridal tour, always in good spirits, and professing to be very happy. I wondered every time that she had not forgotten me, in the midst of so much gaiety and variety of scene. At length, however, there was a pause; and it seemed she had forgotten me, for upwards of seven months passed away and no letter. Of course, I did not break my heart about ‘az, though I often wondered how she was getting on ; and when this last epistle so unexpectedly arrived, I was glad enough to receive it. It was dated from Ashby Park, where she was come to settle down at last, haying previously divided her time between the Continent and the metropolis. She made many apologies for having neglected

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• 440 AGNES GREY. me so long, assured me she had not forgotten me, and had often intended to write, &c. &c., but had always been prevented by something. She acknowledged that she had been leading a very dissipated life, and I should think her very wicked and very thoughtless; but, notwithstanding that, she thought a great deal, and, among other things, that she should vastly like to see me. ‘*We have been several days here already,” wrote she. ‘‘ We have not a single friend with us, and are likely to be very dull. You know I never had a fancy for living with my husband like two turtles in a nest, were he the most delightful creature that ever wore a coat; so do take pity upon me and come. I suppose your Midsummer holidays commence in June, the same as other people’s, therefore you cannot plead want of time ; and you must and shall come—in fact, I shall die if you don’t. I want you to visit me as a friend, and stay a long time.

There is nobody with me, as I told you before, but Sir Thomas and old Lady Ashby: but you needn’t mind them —they’ll trouble us but little with their company. And you shall have a room to yourself, whenever you like to retire to it, and plenty of books to read when my company is not sufficiently amusing. I forget whether you like babies; if you do, you may have the pleasure of seeing mine—the most charming child in the world, no doubt; and all the more so, that I am not troubled with nursing it—I was determined I wouldn’t be bothered with that.

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Unfortunately, it is a girl, and Sir Thomas has never forgiven me: but, however, if you will only come, I promise you shall be its governess as soon as it can speak: and you shall bring it up in the way it should go, and make a better woman of it than its mamma, And you shall see my poodle, too: a splendid little charmer imported from Paris: and two fine Italian paintings of great value—I forget the artist. Doubt- less you will be able to discover prodigious beauties in them, which you must point out to me, as I only admire by hearsay ; and many elegant curiosities besides, which I purchased at Rome and elsewhere ; and, finally, you shall see my new home —the splendid house and grounds I used to covet so greatly. Alas! how far the promise of anticipation exceeds the pleasure of possession! There's a fine sentiment! I assure you Iam become quite a grave old matron: pray come, if it be only to witness the wonderful change.

Write by return of post, and tell me when your vacation commences, and say that you will

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AGNES GREY. 441 come the day after, and stay till the day before it closes—in mercy to “Yours affectionately, “ROSALIE ASHBY,” I showed this strange epistle to my mother, and consulted her on what I ought to do. She advised me to go; and I went—willing enough to see Lady Ashby, and her baby too, and to do anything I could to benefit her, by consolation or advice ; for I imagined she must be unhappy, or she would not have applied to me thus—but feeling, as may readily be conceived, that, in accepting the invitation, I made a great sacrifice for her, and did violence to my feelings in many ways, instead of being delighted with the honourable distinction of being en- treated by the baronet’s lady to visit her as a friend. However, I determined my visit should be only for a few days at most ; and I will not deny that I derived some consolation from the idea that, as Ashby Park was not very far from Horton, I might possibly see Mr.

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Weston, or, at least, hear something about him. CHAPTER XXII. THE VISIT, ASHBY PARK was certainly a very delightful residence. The mansion was stately without, commodious and elegant within ; the park was spacious and beautiful, chiefly on account of its magnificent old trees, its stately herds of deer, its broad sheet of water, and the ancient woods that stretched beyond it: for there was no broken ground to give variety to the landscape, and but very little of that undulating swell which adds so greatly to the charm of park scenery. And so, this was the place Rosalie Murray had so longed to call her own, that she must have a share of it, on whatever terms it might be offered —whatever price was to be paid for the title of mistress, and whoever was to be her partner in the honour and bliss of such a possession! Well! I am not disposed to censure her now.

She received me very kindly; and, though I was a poor clergyman’s daughter, a governess, and a schoolmistress, she

• 442 AGNES GREY. welcomed me with unaffected pleasure to her home; and— what surprised me rather—took some pains to make my visit agreeable. I could see, it is true, that she expected me to be greatly struck with the magnificence that surrounded her; and, I confess, I was rather annoyed at her evident efforts to re- assure me, and prevent me from being overwhelmed by so much grandeur—too much awed at the idea of encountering her husband and mother-in-law, or too much ashamed of my own humble appearance. Iwas not ashamed of it at all; for, though plain, I had taken good care not to be shabby or mean, and should have been pretty considerably at my ease, if my condescending hostess had not taken such manifest pains. to make me so; and, as for the magnificence that surrounded her, nothing that met my eyes struck me or affected me half sa much as her own altered appearance.

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Whether from the in- fluence of fashionable dissipation, or some other evil, a space of little more than twelve months had had the effect that might be expected from as many years, in reducing the plumpness of her form, the freshness of her complexion, the vivacity of her movements, and the exuberance of her spirits. I wished to know if she was unhappy; but I felt it was not my province to inquire: I might endeavour to win her confi- dence; but, if she chose to conceal her matrimonial cares from me, I would trouble her with no obtrusive questions. I there- fore, at first, confined myself to a few general inquiries about her health and welfare, and a few commendations on the beauty of the park, and of the little girl that should have been a boy: a small delicate infant of seven or eight weeks old, whom its mother seemed to regard with no remarkable degree of in- terest or affection, though full as much as I expected her to show.

Shortly after my arrival, she commissioned her maid to con- duct me to my room and see that I had everything I wanted : it was a small, unpretending, but sufficiently comfortable apart- ment. When I descended thence—having divested myself of all travelling encumbrances, and arranged my toilet with due consideration for the feelings of my lady hostess—she conducted me herself to the room I was to occupy when I chose to be alone, or when she was engaged with visitors, or obliged to be with her mother-in-law, or otherwise prevented, as she said, from enjoying the pleasure of my society. It was a quiet, tidy

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AGNES GREY. 443 little sitting-room ; and I was not sorry to be provided with such a harbour of refuge. ; ‘‘And some time,” said she, “I will show you the library : I never examined its shelves, but, I dare ‘say, it is full of wise books ; and you may go and burrow among them whenever you please. And now you shall have some tea—it will soon be dinner-time, but I thought, as you were accustomed to dine at one, you would perhaps like better to have a cup of tea about this time, and to dine when we lunch ; and then, you know, you can have your tea in this room, and that will save you from having to dine with Lady Ashby.and Sir Thomas: which would be rather awkward—at least, not awkward, but rather—a—you know what I mean. I thought you mightn’t like it so well— especially as we may have other ladies and gentlemen to dine with us occasionally.”

“Certainly,” said I, ‘‘I would muth rather have it as you say; and, if you have no objection, I should prefer having all my meals in this room,” “Why so?” “ Because, I imagine, it would be more agreeable to Lady Ashby and Sir Thomas.” “Nothing of the kind.” “‘ At any rate, it would be more ‘agreeable to me.” She made some faint objections, but soon conceded; and I could see that the proposal was a considerable relief to her. “Now, come into the drawing-room,” said she. ‘‘ There's the dressing bell; but I won’t go yet: it’s no use dressing when there’s no one to see you; and J want to have a little discourse.” The drawing-room was certainly an imposing apartment, and very elegantly furnished; but I saw its young mistress glance towards me as we entered, as if to notice how I was impressed by the spectacle, and accordingly I determined to preserve an aspect of stony indifference, as if I saw nothing at all remarkable.

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But this was only for a moment: immediately conscience whispered, ‘‘ Why should I disappoint her to save my pride? No—rather let me sacrifice my pride to give her a little innocent gratification.” And I honestly looked round, and told her it was a noble room, and very tastefully furnished. She said little, but I saw she was pleased. She showed me her fat French poodle, that lay curled up on a silk cushion, and the two fine Italian paintings: which, how-

• 444 AGNES GREY. ever, she would not give me time to examine, but, saying I must look at them some other day, insisted upon my admiring the little jewelled watch she had purchased in Geneva; and then she took me round the room to point out sundry articles of vertu she had brought from Italy: an elegant little timepiece, and several busts, small graceful figures, and vases, all beautifully carved in white marble. She spoke of these with animation, and heard my admiring comments with a smile of pleasure: that soon, however, vanished, and was followed by a melancholy sigh; as if in consideration of the insufficiency of all such baubles to the happiness of the human heart, and their woeful inability to supply its insatiate demands.

Then, stretching herself upon a couch, she motioned me to a capacious easy-chair that stood opposite—not before the fire, but before a wide open window ; for it was summer, be it re- membered ; a sweet, warm evening in the latter half of June. I sat for a moment in silence, enjoying the still, pure air, and the delightful prospect of the park that lay before me, rich in verdure and foliage, and basking in yellow sunshine, relieved by the long shadows of declining day. But I must take advantage of this pause: I had inquiries to make, and, like the substance of a lady’s postscript, the most important must come last. So I began with asking after Mr. and Mrs. Murray, and Miss Matilda and the young gentlemen.

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I was told that papa had the gout, which made him very ferocious ; and that he would not give up his choice wines, and his substantial dinners and suppers, and had quarrelled with his physician, because the latter had dared to say that no medicine could cure him while he lived so freely ; that mamma and the rest were well. Matilda was still wild and reckless, but she had got a fashionable governess, and was considerably improved in her manners, and soon to be introduced to the world; and John and Charles (now at home for the holidays) were, by all accounts, ‘‘fine, bold, unruly, mischievous boys.” ‘‘And how are the other people getting on?” said I—‘‘ the Greens, for instance ?”’ ‘Ah! Mr. Green is heart-broken, you know,” replied she, with a languid smile: ‘‘he hasn’t got over his disappointment yet, and never will, I suppose. He’s doomed to be an-old bachelor; and his sisters are doing their best to get mar- ried.”

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AGNES GREY. 445 ' And the Melthams?” ‘‘Oh, they’re jogging on as usual, I suppose: but’ I know very little about any of them—except Harry,” said she, blushing slightly, and smiling again. ‘‘I sawa great deal of him while we were in London; for, as soon as he heard we were there, he came up under pretence of visiting his brother, and either followed me, like a shadow, wherever I went, or met me, like a reflection, at every turn. You needn't look so shocked, Miss Grey ; I was very discreet, I assure you: but, you know, one can't help being admired. Poor fellow! He was not my only worshipper ; though he was certainly the most conspicuous, and, I think, the most devoted among them all. And that detestable —ahem—and Sir Thomas chose to take offence at him—or my profuse expenditure, or something—I don’t exactly know what —and hurried me down to the country at a moment's notice ; where I’m to-play the hermit, I suppose, for life.”

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And she bit her lip, and frowned vindictively upon the fair dornain she had once so coveted to call her own. «“‘And Mr. Hatfield,” said I, ‘‘ what is become of him?” Again she brightened up, and answered gaily— ‘‘Oh! he made up to an elderly spinster, and married her, not long since; weighing her heavy purse against her faded charms, and expecting to find that solace in gold which was denied him in love, ha, ha!” ‘Well, and I think that’s all—except Mr. Weston: what is he doing?” ‘‘T don’t know, I'm sure, He’s gone from Horton.” ‘* How long since? and where is he gone to?”

“‘T know nothing about him,” replied she, yawning—‘‘ except that he went about a month ago—I never asked where” (I would have asked whether it was to a living or merely another curacy, but thought it better not), ‘‘and the people made a great rout about his leaving,” continued she, ‘‘ much to Mr, Hatfield's displeasure ; for Hatfield didn’t like him, because he had too much influence with the common people, and because he was not sufficiently tractable and submissive to him—and for some other unpardonable sins, I don’t know what. But now I positively must go and dress: the second bell will ring directly, and if I come to dinner in this guise, I shall never hear the end of it from Lady Ashby. It’s a strange thing one can’t be mistress in one’s own house! Just ring the bell, and I'll send

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• 446 AGNES GREY. for my maid, and tell them to get you some tea. Only think of that intolerable woman ” « Who—your maid?” «No ; my mother-in-law—and my unfortunate mistake! In- stead of letting her take herself off to some other house, as she offered to do when I married, I was fool enough to ask her to live here still, and direct the affairs of the house for me ; because, in the first place, I hoped we should spend the greater part of the year in town, and in the second place, being so young and inexperienced, I was frightened at the idea of having a houseful of servants to manage, and dinners to order, and parties to entertain, and all the rest of it, and I thought she might assist me with her experience ; never dreaming she would prove a usurper, a tyrant, an incubus, a spy, and everything else that’s detestable. I wish she was dead!”

She then turned to give her orders to the footman, who had been standing bolt upright within the door for the last half minute, and had heard the latter part of her animadversions ; and, of course, made his own reflections upon them, notwith- standing the inflexible, wooden countenance he thought proper to preserve in the drawing-room. On my remarking afterwards that he must have heard her, she replied— “Oh, no matter! I never care about the footmen; they’re mere automatons : it’s nothing to them what their superiors say or do; they won't dare to repeat it; and as to what they think —if they presume to think at all—of course, nobody cares for that. It would be a pretty thing indeed, if we were to be tongue-tied by our servants!” So saying, she ran off to make her hasty toilet, leaving me to pilot my way back to my sitting-room, where, in due time, I was served with a cup of tea.

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After that, I sat musing on Lady Ashby’s past and present condition ; and on what little information I had obtained respecting Mr. Weston, and the small chance there was of ever seeing or hearing anything more of him throughout my quiet, drab-colour life: which, hence- forth, seemed to offer no alternative between positive rainy days, and days of dull grey clouds without downfall. At length, however, I began to weary of my thoughts, and to wish I knew where to find the library my hostess had spoken of; and to wonder whether I was to remain there doing nothing till bedtime.

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AGNES GREY. 447 r As I was not rich enough to possess a watch, I could not tell how time was passing, except by observing the. slowly lengthening shadows from the window; which presented a side view, including a corner of the park, a clump of trees, whose topmost branches had been colonised by an innumerable com- pany of noisy rooks, and a high wall with a massive wooden gate: no doubt communicating with the stable-yard, as a broad carriage-road swept up to it from the park. The shadow of this wall soon took possession of the whole of the ground as far as I could see, forcing the golden sunlight to retreat inch by inch, and at last take refuge in the very tops of the trees, Ere long, even they were left in shadow—the shadow of the distant hills, or of the earth itself; and, in sympathy for the busy citizens of the rookery, I regretted to.see their habitation, so lately bathed in glorious light, reduced to the sombre, work-a-day hue of the lower world, or of my own world within.

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For a moment, such birds as soared above the rest might still receive the lustre on their wings, which imparted to their sable plumage the hue and brilliance of deep red gold; at last, that too departed. Twilight came stealing on; the rooks became more quiet; I became more weary, and wished I were going home to-morrow. At length it grew dark; and I was thinking of ringing for a candle, and betaking myself to bed, when my hostess appeared, with many apologies for having neglected me so long, and laying all the blame upon that ‘‘nasty old woman,” as she called her mother-in-law. “Tf I didn’t sit with her in the drawing-room while Sir Thomas is taking his wine,” said she, ‘‘she would never forgive me; and, then, if I leave the room the instant he comes—as I have done once or twice—it is an unpardonable offence against her dear Thomas.

Se never showed such disrespect to her husband; and as for affection, wives never think of that now-a- days, she supposes: but things were different in fer time—as if there. was any good to be done by staying in the room, when he does nothing but grumble and scold when he’s in a bad humour, talk disgusting nonsense when he’s in a good one, and go to sleep on the sofa when he’s too stupid for either ; which is most frequently the case now, when he has nothing to do but to sot over his.wine,” ‘But could you not try to occupy his mind with-some- thing better; and engage him to give up such habits? I’m

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• 448 AGNES GREY. sure you have powers of persuasion, and qualifications for amusing a gentleman, which many ladies would be glad to possess.” “And so you think I would lay myself out for his amuse- ment! No; that’s not my idea of a wife. It’s the husband’s part to please the wife, not hers to please him; and if he isn’t satisfied with her as she is—and thankful to possess her too—he isn’t worthy of her, that’s all. And as for persuasion, I assure you I shan’t trouble myself with that: I’ve enough to do to bear with him as he is, without attempting to work a reform. But I’m sorry I left you so long alone, Miss Grey. How have you passed the time?” ‘“Chiefly in watching the rooks,”’ “Mercy, how dull you must have been! I really must show you the library; and you must ring for everything you want, just as you would in an inn, and make yourself comfortable.

I have selfish reasons for wishing to make you happy, because I want you to stay with me, and not fulfil your horrid threat of running away in a day or two.” “‘Well, don’t let me keep you out of the drawing-room any longer to-night, for at present I am tired, and wish to go to bed,” CHAPTER XXIII. THE PARK. I CAME down a little before eight, next morning, as I knew by the striking of a distant clock. There was no appearance of breakfast. I waited above an hour before it came, still vainly longing for access to the library; and, after that lonely repast was concluded, I waited again about an hour and a half in great suspense and discomfort, uncertain what todo. At length, Lady Ashby came to bid me good-morning. She informed me she had only just breakfasted, and now wanted me to take an early walk with her in the park.

She asked how long I had been up, and on receiving my answer, expressed the deepest regret, and again promised to show me the library. I suggested

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AGNES GREY. 449 she had better do so at once, and then there would be no further trouble either with remembering or forgetting. She complied, on condition that I would not think of reading, or bothering with the books now ; for she wanted to show me the gardens, and take a walk in the park with me, before it be- came too hot for enjoyment: which, indeed, was nearly the case already. Of course, I readily assented; and we took our walk accordingly. As we were strolling in the park, talking of what my com- panion had seen and heard during her travelling experience, a gentleman on horseback rode up and passed us. As he turned, in passing, and stared me full in the face, I had a good opportunity of seeing what he was like.

He was tall, thin, and wasted, with a slight stoop in the shoulders, a pale face, but somewhat blotchy, and disagreeably red about the eyelids, plain features, and a general appearance of languor and flatness, relieved by a sinister expression in the mouth and the dull, soulless eyes. “JT detest that man!” whispered Lady Ashby, with bitter emphasis, as he slowly trotted by. “Who is it?”’ I asked, unwilling to suppose that she should so speak of her husband. ‘Sir Thomas Ashby,” she replied, with dreary composure, ‘And do you detest him, Miss Murray?” said I, for I was too much shocked to remember her name at the moment, “Yes, I do, Miss Grey, and despise him too; and if you knew him you would not blame me, ‘But you knew what he was before you married him.” “No; I only thought so: I did not half know him really, I know you warned me against it, and I wish I had listened to you: but it’s too late to regret that now.

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And besides, mamma ought to have known better than either of us, and she never said anything against it—quite the contrary. And then I thought he adored me, and would let me have my own way: he did pretend to do so at first, but now he does not care a bit about me, Yet I should not care for that: he might do as he pleased, if I might only be free to amuse myself and to stay in London, or have a few friends down here: but he wili do as he pleases, and I must be a prisoner and a slave, The moment he saw I could enjoy myself without him, and that others knew my value better than himself, the selfish wretch Pp

• 450 AGNES GREY. began to accuse me of coquetry and extravagance; and to abuse Harry Meltham, whose shoes he was not worthy to clean, And then, he must needs have me down in the country, to lead the life of a nun, lest I should dishonour him or bring him to ruin; as if he had not been ten times worse every way, with his betting-book, and his gaming-table, and his opera-girls, and his Lady This and Mrs, That — yes, and his bottles of wine, and glasses of brandy and water too! Oh, I would give ten thousand worlds to be Miss Murray again! It is foo bad to feel life, health, and beauty wasting away, unfelt and unenjoyed, for such a brute as that!” ex- claimed she, fairly bursting into tears in the bitterness of her vexation. : Of course, I pitied her exceedingly ; as well for her false idea of happiness and disregard of duty, as for the wretched. partner with whom her fate was linked.

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I said what I could to comfort her, and offered such counsels as I thought she most required : advising her, first, by gentle reasoning, by kindness, example, and persuasion, to try to ameliorate her husband; and then, when she had done all she could, if she still found him in- corrigible, to endeavour to abstract herself from him—to wrap herself up in her own integrity, and .trouble: herself as little about him as possible. I exhorted her to seek consolation in doing her duty to God and man, to put her trust in Heaven, and solace herself with the care and nurture of her little daughter ; assuring her she would be amply rewarded. by wit- nessing its progress in strength and wisdom, and receiving its genuine affection. “‘But I can’t devote myself entirely to a child,” said she: “it may die—which is not at all improbable.” ‘But, with care, many a delicate infant has become a strong man or woman.”

«But it may grow so intolerably like its father that I shall hate it.” “That is not likely ; it is a little girl, and strongly resembles its mother.” ‘*No matter; I should like it better if it were a boy—only that its father will leave it no inheritance that he can possibly squander away. What pleasure can I have in seeing a girl grow up to eclipse me, and enjoy those pleasures that I am for ever debarred from? But supposing I could be so generous

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AGNES GREY. ASI as to take delight in this, still it is ovdy a child; and I can't centre all my hopes in a child: that is only one degree better than devoting oneself toa dog. And as for all the wisdom and goodness you have been trying to instil into me—that is all very. right and proper I dare say, and if I were some twenty years older, I might fructify by it: but people must enjoy themselves when they are young; and if others won't let them—why, they miust hate them for it!” “The best way to enjoy yourself is to do what is right and hate nobody. The end of Religion is not to teach us how to die, but how to live; and the earlier you become wise and good, the more of happiness you secure. And now, Lady Ashby, I have one more piece of advice to offer you, which is, that you will not make an/enemy of your mother-in-law. Don’t get into the way of holding her at arm’s lengthy and regarding her with jealous distrust.

I never saw her, but I have heard good as well as evil respecting her; and I imagine that, though cold and haughty in her general demeanour, and even exacting in her requirements, she has strong affections for those who can reach them ; and, though so blindly attached to her son, she is not without good principles, or incapable of hearing reason. If you would but conciliate her a little, and adopt a friendly, open manner—and even confide your grievances to her—vreal grievances, such as you have a right to complain of—it is my firm belief that she would, in time, become your faithful friend, and a comfort and support to you, instead of the incubus you describe her.”

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But I fear my advice had little effect upon the unfortunate young lady ; and, finding I could render myself so little service- able, my residence at Ashby Park became doubly painful, But still, I must ‘stay out that day and the following one, as I had promised to do'so; though, resisting all entreaties and induce- ments to prolong my visit further, I insisted upon departing the next morning ; affirming that my mother would be lonely without me, and that she impatiently ‘expected my return. Nevertheless, it was with a heavy heart that I bade adieu to poor Lady Ashby, and left her in her princely home. It was no slight additional proof of her unhappiness, that she should so cling to the consolation of my presence, and earnestly desire the company of one whose general tastes and ideas were so little congenial to her own—whom she had completely forgotten

• 452 AGNES GREY. in her hours of prosperity, and whose presence would be rather a nuisance than a pleasure, if she could but have half her heart’s desire. CHAPTER XXIV. THE SANDS. Our school was not situated in the heart of the town: on entering A—— from the north-west there is a row of respect- able-looking houses, on each side of the broad, white road, with narrow slips of garden-ground before them, Venetian blinds to the windows, and a flight of steps leading to each trim, brass- handled door. In one of the largest of these habitations dwelt my mother and J, with such young ladies as our friends and the public chose to commit to our charge. Consequently, we were a considerable distance from the sea, and divided from it by a labyrinth of streets and houses.

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But the sea was my delight ; and I would often gladly pierce the town to obtain the pleasure of a walk beside it, whether with the pupils, or alone with my mother during the vacations. It was delightful to me at all times and seasons, but especially in the wild commotion of a rough sea-breeze, and in the brilliant freshness of a summer morning. I awoke early on the third morning after my return from Ashby Park—the sun was shining through the blind, and I thought how pleasant it would be to pass through the quiet town and take a solitary ramble on the sands while half the world was in bed. I was not long in forming the resolution, nor slow to act upon it. Of course I would not disturb my mother, so I stole noiselessly downstairs, and quietly unfastened the door. I was dressed and out, when the church clock struck a quarter to six.

There was a feeling of freshness and vigour in the very streets, and when I got free of the town, when my foot was on the sands and my face towards the broad, bright bay, no language can describe the effect of the deep, clear azure of the sky and ocean, the bright morning sunshine on the semicircular barrier of craggy cliffs surmounted by green swelling hills, and on the smooth, wide sands, and the low

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AGNES GREY. 453 rocks out at sea—looking, with their clothing of weeds and moss, like little grass-grown islands—and above all, on the brilliant, sparkling waves, And then, the unspeakable purity and freshness of the air! there was just enough heat to enhance the value of the breeze, and just enough wind to keep the whole sea in motion, to make the waves come bounding to the shore, foaming and sparkling, as if wild with glee. Nothing else was stirring —no living creature was visible besides myself. My footsteps were the first to press the firm, un- broken sands ;—nothing before had trampled them since last night’s flowing tide had obliterated the deepest marks of yesterday, and left it fair and even, except where the subsiding water had left behind it the traces of dimpled pools, and little running streams.

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Refreshed, delighted, invigorated, I walked along, forgetting all my cares, feeling as if I had wings to my feet, and could go at least forty miles without fatigue, and experiencing a sense of exhilaration to which I had been an entire stranger since the days of early youth. About half-past six, however, the grooms began to come down to air their masters’ horses—first one, and then another, till there were some dozen horses and five or six riders: but that need not trouble me, for they would not come as far as the low rocks which I was now approaching. When I had reached these, and walked over the moist, slippery sea- weed (at the risk of floundering into one of the numerous pools of clear, salt water that lay between them), to a little mossy promontory with the sea splashing round it, I looked back again to see who next was stirring.

Still, there were only the early grooms with their horses, and one gentleman with a little dark speck of a dog running before him, and one water-cart coming out of the town to get water for the baths, In another minute or two, the distant bathing-machines would begin to move, and then the elderly gentlemen of regular habits, and sober Quaker ladies would be coming to take their salutary morning walks. But however interesting such a scene might be, I could not wait to witness it, for the sun and the sea so dazzled my eyes in that direction, that I could but afford one glance; and then I turned again to delight myself with the sight and the sound of the sea dashing against my promontory —with no prodigious force, for the, swell was broken by the tangled sea-weed and the unseen rocks beneath; otherwise I

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• 454 AGNES GREY. should soon have been deluged with spray. But the tide was coming’ in; the water was rising; the gulfs and lakes were filling; the straits were widening, it was time to seek some safer footing ; so I walked, skipped, and stumbled back to the smooth, wide sands, and resolved to proceed to a certain bold projection in the cliffs, and then return. Presently, I heard a snuffling sound behind me, and then a dog came frisking and wriggling to my feet. It was my own Snap—the little; dark, wire-haired terrier! When I spoke his name, he leapt up in my face and yelled for joy. Almost as much delighted as himself, I caught the little creature in my arms, and kissed’ him repeatedly. But how came: he to be there?

He could not have dropped from the sky, or come all that way alone: it must be either his master, the rat-catcher, or somebody else that had brought him; so, repressing my extravagant caresses, and endeavouring to repress his likewise, I looked round, and beheld—Mr. Westom! “« Your dog remembers’ you well, Miss Grey,” said he, warmly grasping the hand I offered him without clearly knowing what Iwas about. ‘‘ You rise early.” “‘Not often so early as this,” I replied, with amazing com- posure, considering all the circumstances of the case. ‘‘How far do you purpose to extend your walk?” “T was thinking of returning—it must be almost time, I think.” He consulted his. watch—a gold one now—and told me it was only five minutes past seven. “But, doubtless, you have had a long enough walk,” said he, turning towards the town, to which I now proceeded leisurely to retrace my steps; and he walked beside me.

“In what part of the town do you live?” asked he. ‘1 never could discover.” Never could discover? Had he endeavoured to do so then? I told him the place of our abode. He asked how we pros- pered in our affairs. I told him we were doing very well-— that we had had a considerable addition to our pupils after the Christmas vacation, and expected a still further increase at the close of this. ‘ ‘“You must be an accomplished instructor,’’ he observed. “No, it is my mother,” .I replied ; ‘‘she manages things so well, and is so active, and clever, and kind.”

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AGNES GREY. 455 “‘T should like to know your mother. Will you introduce me to her some time, if I call?” ‘Yes, willingly.” “‘And will you allow me the privilege of an old friend, of looking in upon you now and then?” ‘* Yes, if—I suppose so.” This was a very foolish answer, but the truth was, I con- sidered that I had no right to invite any one to: my mother’s house without her knowledge; and if I had said, ‘‘ yes, if my mother does not object,” it would appear as if by his question I understood more than was expected ; so supposing she would not, I added, ‘‘I suppose so:” but of course I should have said something more sensible and more polite, if I had had my wits about me. We continued our walk for a minute in silence: which, however, was shortly relieved (no small relief to me), by Mr.

Weston commenting upon the brightness of the morning and the beauty of the bay, and then upon the advan- tages A possessed over many other fashionable places of resort. “‘ You don’t ask what brings me to A——,” said he. ‘‘ You can’t suppose I’m rich enough to come for my own pleasure.” “T heard you had left Horton.” ‘“You didn’t hear, then, that I had got the living of F§— 2” EF was a village about two miles distant from A——., “No,” said I; ‘we live so completely out of the world, even here, that news seldom reaches me through any quarter ; except through the medium of the Gazette. But, I hope you like your new parish ; and that I may congratulate you on the acquisition?”

“TI expect. to like my parish better a year or two hence, when I have worked certain reforms I have set my heart upon —or, at least, progressed some steps towards such an achieve- ment, But. you may congratulate me now; for I find it very agreeable to have a parish all to myself, with nobody to inter- fere with me—to thwart my plans or cripple my exertions : and besides, I have a respectable house. in a rather pleasant neighbourhood, and three hundred, pounds a year; and, in fact, I have nothing but solitude to-complain of, and nothing but a companion to wish for,” He looked at me as he concluded; and the flash of his dark

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• 456 AGNES GREY. eyes seemed to set my face on fire: greatly to my own discom- fiture, for to evince confusion at such a juncture was intolerable. I made an effort, therefore, to remedy the evil, and disclaim all personal application of the remark by a hasty, ill-expressed reply, to the effect that, if he waited till he was well known in the neighbourhood, he might have numerous opportunities for supplying his want among the residents of F—— and its Vicinity, or the visitors of A——, if he: required so ample a choice: not considering the compliment implied by such an assertion, till his answer made me aware Of it. ‘‘T am not so presumptuous as to believe that,” said he, ‘‘though you tell it me; but if it were so, I am rather particu- lar in my notions of a companion for life, and perhaps I might not find one to suit me among the ladies you mention.” “If you require perfection, you never will.”

‘‘T do not—I have no right to require it, as being so far from perfect myself.” Here the conversation was interrupted by a water-cart lum- bering past us, for we were now come to the busy part of the sands; and, for the next eight or ten minutes, between carts and horses, and asses, and men, there was little room for social intercourse, till we had turned our backs upon the sea, and began to ascend the precipitous road leading into the town. Here my companion offered me his arm, which I accepted, though not with the intention of using it as a support. “‘You don’t often come on to the sands, I think,” said he, ‘for I have walked there many times, both morning and even- ing, since I came, and never seen you till now; and several times, in passing through the town, too, I have looked about for your school—but I did not think of the Road: and once or twice I made inquiries, but without obtaining the requisite information.”

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When we had surmounted the acclivity, I was about to with- draw my arm from his, but by a slight tightening of the elbow was tacitly informed that such was not his will, and accordingly desisted. (Discoursing on different subjects, we entered the town, and passed through several streets. I saw that he was going out of his way to accompany me, notwithstanding the long walk that was yet before him ; and, fearing that he might be inconveniencing himself from motives of politeness, I ob- served—

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AGNES GREY. 457 “T fear I am taking you out of your way, Mr. Weston—I believe the road to F lies quite in another direction.” “‘T'll leave you at the end of the next street,” said he. «« And when will you come to see mamma?” “«To-morrow—God willing.” The end of the next street was nearly the conclusion of my journey. He stopped there, however, bid me good-morning, and called Snap, who-seemed a little doubtful whether to follow his old mistress or his new master, but trotted away upon being summoned by the latter. ‘‘T won't offer to restore him to you, Miss Grey,” said Mr. Weston, smiling, ‘‘ because I like him.” “Oh, I don’t want him,” replied I, ‘‘ now that he has a good master ; I’m quite satisfied.” ‘You take it for granted that I am a good one, then?” The man and the dog departed, and I returned home, full of gratitude to Heaven for so much bliss, and praying that my hopes might not again be crushed. CHAP LER XX, CONCLUSION.

‘“* WELL, Agnes, you must not take such long walks again before breakfast, said my mother, observing that I drank an extra cup of coffee and ate nothing—pleading the heat of the weather, and the fatigue of my long walk as an excuse, I certainly did feel feverish and tired too, ‘«You always do things by extremes: now, if you had taken a short walk every morning, and would continue to do so, it would do you good.” “Well, mamma, I will.” : ‘‘But this is worse than lying in bed or bending over your books: you have quite put yourself into a fever.” ‘‘T won't do it again,” said I. I was racking my brains with thinking how to tell her about Mr. Weston, for she must know he was coming to-morrow, However, I waited till the breakfast things were removed, and

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• 458 AGNES GREY. I was more calm and cool; and then, having sat down to my drawing, I began— ‘T met an old friend on the sands to-day, mamma.” “An old friend!) Who could it be?” ““Two old friends, indeed, One was a.dog;” and then I reminded her of Snap, whose history I had recounted before, and related the incident of his sudden appearance and remark- able recognition; ‘‘and the other,” continued I, ‘‘was Mr. Weston, the curate of Horton.” “Mr. Weston! I never heard of him before,” ‘Yes, you have: I’ve mentioned him several times, I believe : but you don’t remember.” “T’ve heard you speak of Mr. Hatfield.” “Mr. Hatfield was the rector, and Mr, Weston the curate: I used to mention him sometimes in contradistinction to Mr. Hatfield, as being a more efficient clergyman..

However, he was on the sands. this morning with the dog—he had bought it, I suppose, from the rat-catcher ; and he knew me as well as it did—probably through its means: and I had a little con- versation with him, in the course of which, as he asked about our school, I was led to say something about you and your good management ; and he said he should like to know you, and asked if I would introduce him to you, if he should take the liberty of calling to-morrow; so I said I would. Was I right?” ‘Of course. What kind of a man is he?” ““A very respectable man, I think: but you will see him to- morrow. He is the new vicar of F——, and as he has only been there a few weeks, I suppose he has made no friends yet, and wants a little society.” The morrow came, What a fever of anxiety and expectation I was in from breakfast till noon—at which time he made: his appearance!

Having introduced him to. my mother, I took my work to the window, and sat down to await the result of the interview. They got on extremely well together: greatly to my satisfaction, for I had felt very anxious about what my mother would think of him. He did not stay long that time: but when he rose to take leave, she said she should be happy to see him, whenever he might. find it convenient to call again; and when he was. gone, I was gratified by hearing her say—

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AGNES GREY. 459 “Well! Ithink he’s a very sensible man. But why did you sit back there, Agnes,” she added, ‘‘and talk so little.” “« Because you talked so well, mamma, I thought you required no assistance from me: and, besides, he was your visitor, not mine.” After that, he often called upon us—several times in the course of a week. He generally addressed most of his con- versation to my mother: and no wonder, for she could con- verse. I almost envied the unfettered, vigorous fluency of her discourse, and the strong sense evinced by everything she said —and yet, I did not; for, though I occasionally regretted my own deficiencies for his sake, it gave me very great pleasure to sit and hear the two beings I loved and honoured above every one else in the world, discoursing together so amicably, so wisely, and so well. I was not always silent, however: nor was I at all neglected.

I was quite as much noticed as I would wish to be: there was no lack of kind words and kinder looks, no end of delicate attentions, too fine and subtle to be grasped by words, and therefore indescribable—but deeply felt at heart. Ceremony was quickly dropped between us: Mr. Weston came as an expected guest, welcome at all times, and never ' deranging the economy of our household affairs. He even called me ‘‘Agnes:” the name had been timidly spoken at first, but, finding it gave no offence in any quarter, he seemed greatly to prefer that appellation to ‘‘ Miss Grey ;” and so did I. How tedious and gloomy were those days in which he did not come! And yet not miserable ; for I had still the remem- brance of the last visit and the hope of the next to cheer me.

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But when two or three days passed without my seeing him, I certainly felt very anxious—absurdly, unreasonably so; for, of course, he had his: own business and the affairs of his parish to attend to. And I dreaded the close of the holidays, when my business also would begin, and I should be some- times unable to see him, and sometimes—when my mother was in the schoolroom—obliged to be with him alone: a position I did not at all desire, in the house; though to meet him out of doors, and walk beside him, had proved by no means disagreeable. One evening, however, in the last week of the vacation, he arrived—unexpectedly: for a heavy and protracted thunder- shower during the afternoon had almost destroyed my hopes

• 460 AGNES GREY. of seeing him that day; but now the storm was over, and the sun was shining brightly. ‘CA beautiful evening, Mrs. Grey!” said he, as he entered. ‘« Agnes, I want you to take a walk with me to””—— (he named a certain part of the coast—a bold hill on the land side, and towards the sea a steep precipice, from the summit of which a glorious view is to be had). ‘‘ The rain has laid the dust, and cooled and cleared the air, and the prospect will be magnifi- cent. Will you come?” ‘‘Can I go, mamma?” ‘‘Yes; to be sure,” I went to get ready, and was down again in a few minutes ; though, of course, I took a little more pains with my attire than if I had merely been going out on some shopping expedition alone. The thunder-shower had certainly had a most beneficial effect upon the weather, and the evening was most delightful. Mr.

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Weston would have me to take his arm: he said little during our passage through the crowded streets, but walked very fast, and appeared grave and abstracted. I wondered what was the matter, and felt an indefinite dread that some- thing unpleasant was on his mind; and vague surmises, con- cerning what it might be, troubled me not a little, and made me grave and silent enough. But these fantasies vanished upon reaching the quiet outskirts of the town: for as soon as we came within sight of the venerable old church, and the —— hill, with the deep blue sea beyond it, I found my com- panion was cheerful enough. “Tm afraid I’ve been walking too fast for you, Agnes,” said he: ‘‘in my impatience to be rid of the town, I forgot to consult your convenience ; but now, we'll walk as slowly as you please.

I see, by those light clouds in the west, there will be a brilliant sunset, and we shall be in time to witness its effect upon the sea, at the most moderate rate of progression.” When we had got about half-way up the hill, we fell into silence again ; which, as usual, he was the first to break. ‘My house is desolate yet, Miss Grey,” he smilingly observed, ‘“‘and I am acquainted now with all the ladies in my parish, and several in this town too; and many others I know by sight and by report; but not one of them will suit me for a com- panion : in fact, there is only one person in the world that will: and that is yourself; and I want to know your decision?”

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AGNES GREY. 461 « Are you in earnest, Mr. Weston?” ‘In earnest! How could you think I should sie on such a subject?” He laid his hand on mine that rested on his arm: he must have feit it tremble—but it was no great matter now. ‘‘T hope I have not been too precipitate,” he said, in a serious tone. ‘‘ You must have known that it was not my way to flatter and talk soft nonsense, or even to speak the admiration that I felt ; and that a single word or glance of mine meant more than the honied phrases and fervent protestations of most other men.” I said something about not liking to leave my mother, and doing nothing without her consent. ‘‘T settled everything with Mrs. Grey, while you were putting on your bonnet,” replied he. ‘‘She said I might have her con- sent, if I could obtain yours ; and I asked her, in case I should be so happy, to come and live with us—for I was sure you would like it better.

But she refused, saying she could now afford to employ an assistant, and would continue the school till she could purchase an annuity sufficient to maintain her in comfortable lodgings ; and, meantime, she would spend her vacations alter- nately with us and your sister, and should be quite contented if you were happy. And so now I have overruled your objections on her account. Have you any other?” ‘*No—none.” ““You love me then?” said he, fervently pressing my hand. Mes Here I pause. My diary, from which I have compiled these pages, goes butlittle further.

I could go on for years; but I will content myself with adding, that I shall never forget that glorious summer evening, and always remember with delight that steep hill, and the edge of the precipice where we stood to- gether, watching the splendid sunset mirrored in the restless world of waters at our feet—with hearts filled with gratitude to Heaven, and happiness, and love—almost too full for speech. A few weeks after that, when my mother had supplied herself with an assistant, I became the wife of Edward Weston; and never have found cause to repent it, and am certain that I never shall. We have had trials, and we know that we must have

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• 462 AGNES GREY. them again; but we bear them well together, and endeavovy to fortify ourselves and each other against the ‘final ‘separatio —that greatest of all afflictions to the survivor. But, if we kee in mind the glorious heaven beyond, where both may me¢ again, and sin and sorrow ate unknown, surely that too ma be borne; and, meantime, we endeavour to live to the glory < Him who has scattered so many blessings in our path. Edward, by his ‘strenuous exertions, has worked surprisir reforms in his parish, and is esteemed and loved by its inhab tants—as he deserves; for whatever his faults may be as'a ma (and no one is entirely without), I defy anybody to blame hi as a pastor, a husband, ar a father. Our children, Edward, Agnes, and little Mary, promise wel their education, for the time being, is chiefly committed ‘to m and they shall want no good thing that a mother’s care c: give.

Our modest income is amply sufficient for our requirement and by practising the economy we learnt in harder times, at never attempting to imitate our richer neighbours, we mana not only to enjoy comfort and contentment ourselves, but have every year something to lay by for our children, a1 something to give to those who need it. And now I think I have said sufficient. THE END. Printed by BALLANTYNE, HANSON & Co. Edinburgh and London,

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