The Three Army-Surgeons

Three army-surgeons who thought they knew their art perfectly were traveling around the world. They came to an inn where they wanted to spend the night. The innkeeper asked where they came from and where they were going. "We are roaming about the world and practicing our art," they said.

"Just show me what you can do," said the innkeeper. Then the first said he would cut off his hand and put it back on early next morning. The second said he would tear out his heart and put it back next morning.

The third said he would cut out his eyes and heal them again next morning. "If you can do that," said the innkeeper, "you have learned everything." They had a salve that they rubbed on themselves which made parts grow together, and they carried the little bottle with the salve with them at all times.

Then they cut off their hand, heart, and eyes as they had said, laid them on a plate, and gave the plate to the innkeeper. The innkeeper gave it to a servant girl, who was to put it in the cupboard and take care of it.

The girl, however, had a secret lover, a soldier. When the innkeeper, the three army-surgeons, and everyone else in the house were asleep, the soldier came and wanted something to eat. The girl opened the cupboard and brought him some food. In her love she forgot to close the cupboard door again.

She sat down at the table with her lover, and they chatted together. While she sat there happily, not thinking of any trouble, a cat came creeping in, found the cupboard open, took the hand, heart, and eyes, and ran off with them.

When the soldier had finished eating, the girl took the things away and went to close the cupboard. She saw that the plate was empty. Frightened, she said to her lover, "Oh, poor me, what shall I do? The hand is gone, the heart and eyes are gone too.

What will become of me in the morning?" "Don't worry," said the soldier, "I will help you. There is a thief hanging on the gallows outside. I will cut off his hand. Which hand was it?" "The right one." The girl gave him a sharp knife, and he went and cut off the poor sinner's right hand and brought it to her.

Then he caught the cat and cut out its eyes. Now only the heart was missing. "Have you not been killing pigs in the cellar?" he asked. "Yes," said the girl. "Good," said the soldier. He went down and got a pig's heart.

The girl placed everything on the plate and put it back in the cupboard. Then her lover left, and she went quietly to bed.

In the morning, when the three army-surgeons got up, they told the girl to bring them the plate with the hand, heart, and eyes. She brought it from the cupboard. The first fixed the thief's hand to his arm and smeared it with salve, and it grew right on. The second put the cat's eyes into his own head. The third fixed the pig's heart into his chest. The innkeeper stood by, admired their skill, and said he had never seen such a thing. He said he would sing their praises and recommend them to everyone. Then they paid their bill and traveled on.

As they went along, the one with the pig's heart would not stay with the others. Whenever he saw a corner, he ran to it and rooted with his nose like a pig. The others tried to hold him back by his coat, but he broke loose and ran to the dirtiest places.

The second one also acted strangely. He rubbed his eyes and said, "Comrades, what's wrong? I can't see at all. Lead me so I don't fall." They traveled on with difficulty until evening, when they reached another inn. They went into the bar together.

At a table in the corner sat a rich man counting money. The one with the thief's hand walked around him, made a sudden movement twice with his arm, and when the man turned away, he snatched a handful of money from the pile.

One of his companions saw this and said, "Comrade, what are you doing? You must not steal, it's shameful!" "Eh," said he, "but how can I stop? My hand twitches, and I have to snatch things whether I want to or not."

After that, they lay down to sleep. It was so dark that no one could see his own hand. Suddenly the one with the cat's eyes awoke and aroused the others. "Brothers," he said, "look up.

Do you see the white mice running around there?" The two sat up but could see nothing. Then he said, "Something is wrong. We have not gotten back what is ours. We must return to the innkeeper.

He has deceived us." So they went back the next morning and told the innkeeper that they had not gotten their own body parts back. The first had a thief's hand, the second had cat's eyes, and the third had a pig's heart.

The innkeeper said the girl must be to blame and was about to call her, but when she saw them coming, she ran out the back door and did not come back. Then the three said the innkeeper must give them a lot of money, or they would set his house on fire.

He gave them what he had and whatever he could gather. The three went away with it. It was enough for the rest of their lives, but they would rather have had their own proper organs.